1634 
D395d 


THE  LIBRARY 

OF 

THE  UNIVERSITY 
OF  CALIFORNIA 

LOS  ANGELES 


THE  DODGE  CLUB; 


OR, 


ITALY  IN  1859- 


BY  JAMES   DE   MILLE, 

AUTHOR   OF 
'CORD  AND  CREESE;  OR,  THE   BRANDON  MYSTERY,"  ETC.,  ETC. 


WITH  ONE  HUNDRED  ILLUSTRATIONS. 


NEW     YORK: 
HARPER    &    BROTHERS,    PUBLISHERS, 

FRANKLIN    SQUARE. 
1869. 


BY  MRS.  OLIPH. 


BROWNLOWS.     A  Novel.     8vo,  Paper,  38  cents. 

THE    LIFE    OF    EDWARD    IRVING,  Minister-   of  the    I  ition 
Church,  London.     Illustrated  by  his  Journals  and  Correspondence.     8'      Cl<. 

MADONNA  MARY.     A  Novel.     8vo,  Paper,  50  cents. 
MISS  MARJORIBANKS.     A  Novel.     8vo,  Paper,  75  cents. 
AGNES.     A  Novel.     8vo,  Paper,  75  cents. 

THE  DAYS  OF  MY  LIFE.     An  Autobiography.     A  Novel.     12mo,  Cloth, 

$1  50. 

THE  LAIRD  OF  NORLAW.     A  Scottish.  Story.     12mo,  Cloth,  $1  50. 

THE  LAST  OF  THE  MORTIMERS.      A  Story  in  Two  Voices.      I2mo, 
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A  SON  OF  THE  SOIL.     A  Novel.     8vo,  Cloth,  $1  50 ;  Paper,  $1  00. 

CHRONICLES  OF  CARLINGFORD.     A  Novel.     8vo,  Cloth,  $1  75 ;  Pa 
per,  $1  25. 

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That  the  authoress  of  the  "Chronicles  of  Carlingford"  is  entitled  to  a  prominent  position  in 
the  upper  chamber  of  modern  novelists,  none  will  be  inclined  to  dispute  who  have  been  fascinated 

by  that  delightful  series Compare  Mrs.  Henry  Wood's  stories  with  the  creations  of  Miss 

Bronte,  Mrs.  Gaskell,  the  authoress  of  "Adam  Bede,"  or  Mrs.  Oliphant;  gauge  them  respectively 
by  the  tests  of  truth,  insight,  force,  and  grace  of  style,  and  the  difference  is  as  between  paste  and 
diamonds. — London  Reader. 

Mrs.  Oliphant's  books  are  always  characterized  by  thought  and  earnestness — some  purposo 
making  itself  manifest  in  them  beyond  that  of  merely  striking  the  fancy  of  her  readers,  or  gaining 
their  attention  for  a  moment. — London  Revieiv. 

We  are  entitled  to  look  for  something  beyond  the  common  in  all  that  Mrs.  Oliphant  writes, 
and  we  find  it  in  her  masterly  delineation  of  character,  in  the  perfect  keeping  of  her  personages, 
whose  conduct  changes  naturally  with  the  natural  growth  and  decay  of  their  ruling  motives. — 
London  Daily  News. 

Some  writers  seem  to  have  no  power  of  growth ;  they  reproduce  themselves  with  more  or  less 
success.  But  others,  who  study  human  nature,  improve  instead  of  deteriorating.  There  is  no 
living  novelist  in  wliom  this  improvement  is  so  marked  as  Mrs.  Oliphant. — London  Press. 

Mrs,  Oliphant  is  one  of  the  most  admirable  of  our  lady  novelists. — London  Post. 


PUBLISHED  BY  HARPER  &  BROTHERS,  NEW  YORK. 


HARPER  &  BROTHERS  will  send  the  above  Works  by  Mail,  postage  free,  to  an$  part  of  tk> 
United  States,  on  receipt  of  the- price. 


THE    DODGE   CLUB; 


OR, 


ITALY  IN   MDCCCLIX. 


BY  JAMES  DE  MILLE, 

AUTHOR  OF  "CORD  AND  CREESE;  OR,  THE  BRANDON  MYSTERY,"  ETC.,  ETC. 


itl)  (Due  ^unbrcb  JJUustrations. 


NEW    YORK: 
HARPER    &    BROTHERS,    PUBLISHERS, 

FRANKLIN    SQUARE. 
1869. 


Entered,  according  to  Act  of  Congress,  in  the  year  1869,  by 
HARPER  &  BROTHERS, 

In  the  Clerk's  Office  of  the  District  Court  of  the  United  States  for  the  Southern 

District  of  New  York. 


CONTENTS. 


CHAPTER  L 

PARIS. THE     DODGE     CLUB. — HOW     TO      SPEAK 

FRENCH. HOW  TO  RAISE  A  CROWD 5 

ILLUSTRATIONS. — Dick! — Here  I  Invite  my  Friends. — The 
Club.— The  Place  Vendome.— Keep  it.  Buttons ! 

CHAPTER  II. 

ORLEANS. — HOW  TO  QUELL  A  LANDLORD. — HOW 
TO  FIGHT  OFF  HUMBUGS  ;  AND  HOW  TO  TRAVEL 
WITHOUT  BAGGAGE 10 

ILLUSTRATIONS That's   a  Hotel  Bill.— Cicero   against 

Yerres. — Sac-r-r-r-re ! 

CHAPTER  III. 

THE    RHONE  IN  A  RAIN. THE    MAD  FRENCHMAN. 

SUICIDE  A  CAPITAL  CRIME  IN  FRANCE...       13 

ILLUSTRATIONS. — Number  T29. — Horror!    Despair! 
CHAPTER  IV. 

MARSEILLES 14 

CHAPTER  V. 

THE  RETIRED  ORGAN-GRINDER. — THE  SENATOR 

PHILOSOPHIZES. EVILS   OF   NOT   HAVING   A 

PASSPORT : 15 

ILLUSTRATIONS. — Those  Italians. — Genoa,  the  Superb. 
CHAPTER  VI. 

LAZARONI  AND  MACARONI, 17 

ILLUSTRATIONS. — Their  Noble  Excellencies. — Lazaroni 
and  Macaroni. 

CHAPTER  VII. 

DOLORES. AN  ITALIAN  MAID  LEARNS  ENGLISH. 

A  ROMANTIC  ADVENTURE. — A  MASQUERADE, 
AND  WHAT  BEFELL  THE  SENATOR. — A  CHARM 
ING  DOMINO. A  MOONLIGHT  WALK,  AND  AN 

ASTOUNDING  DISCOVERY 19 

ILLUSTRATIONS. — Yankee  Doodle I  Kiss  Hands — The 

Young  Hussar. — A  Perplexed  Senator. — Exit  Senator. 

CHAPTER  VIII. 

ADVENTURES      AND      MISADVENTURES. A     WET 

GROTTO  AND  A  BOILING  LAKK. THE  TWO  FAIR 

SPANIARDS,  AND  THE  DONKEY  RIDE 24 

ILLUSTRATIONS Darn  it!  Don't Thump!  — A  Trying 

Moment. — Senator  and  Donkey. 


CHAPTER  IX. 

A  DRIVE  INTO  THE  COUNTRY. — A  FIGHT  WITH  A 
VETTCRINO. — THE  EFFECT  OF  EATING  "HARD 

BOILED  EGGS." WHATTHEY  SAW  AT  P^ESTUM. 

— FIVE  TEMPLES  AND  ONE  "MILL." 28 

ILLUSTRATIONS.—"  Do  You  See  That  ?"— The  Mill  at  Paes- 
tum. 

CHAPTER  X. 

ON  THE  WATER,  WHERE  BUTTONS  SEES  A  LOST 
IDEA  AND  GIVES  CHASE  TO  IT,  TOGETHER  WITH 
THE  HEART-SICKENING  RESULTS  THEREOF.  32 

ILLUSTRATIONS.  —  The  Spaniards.  —  "A  Thousand  Par 
dons  I" 

CHAPTER  XI. 

THE  SENATOR  HAS  SUCH  A  FANCY  FOR  SEEKING 
USEFUL  INFORMATION!— CURIOUS  POSITION  OF 
A  WISE,  AND  WELL-KNOWN,  AND  DESERVEDLY- 
POPULAR  LEGISLATOR,  AND  UNDIGNIFIED  MODE 
OF  HIS  ESCAPE < 35 

ILLUSTRATION. — The  Senator. 

CHAPTER  XII. 

HERCULANEUM  AND  POMPEII,  AND  ALL  THAT  THE 
SIGHT  OF  THOSE  FAMOUS  PLACES  PRODUCED 
ON  THE  MINDS  OF  THE  DODGE  CLUB 37 

ILLUSTRATIONS. — Villa  of  Diomedes.— Phew !— A  Street 
in  Pompeii. 

CHAPTER  XIII. 

VESUVIUS. — WONDERFUL  ASCENT  OF  THE  CONE. 

WONDERFUL  DESCENT  INTO  THE  CRATER. 

AND     MOST    WONDERFUL     DISAPPEARANCE     OF 
MR.  FIGGS,  AFTER  WHOM  ALL  HIS  FRIENDS  GO, 

WITH  THEIR  LIVES    IN  THEIR  HANDS. GREAT 

SENSATION  AMONG  SPECTATORS 40 

ILLUSTRATIONS.— The  Ascent  of  Vesuvius. — The  Descent 
of  Vesuvius. — Where's  Figgs  ? — Mr.  Figgs. — The  Ladies. 

CHAPTER  XIV. 

MAGNIFICENT  ATTITUDE  OF  THE  SENATOR ;  BRIL 
LIANCY"  OF  BUTTONS  ;  AND  PLUCK  OF  THE  OTH 
ER  MEMBERS  OF  THE  CLUB  :  BY  ALL  OF  WHICH 
THE  GREATEST  EFFECTS  ARE  PRODUCED.  47 

ILLUSTRATIONS. — The  Bandits  Captured. — Sold. 
CHAPTER  XV. 

DOLORES  ONCE  MORE. — A  PLEASANT  CONVERSA 
TION. BUTTONS  LEARNS  MORE  OF  HIS  YOUNG 

FRIEND. AFFECTING  FAREWELL 50 

I  ILLUSTRATIONS.— Two  Piastres! — The  Brave  Soldier. 


881387 


CONTENTS. 


CHAPTER  XVI. 

DICK  RELATES  A  FAMILY  LEGEND 53 

ILLUSTRATIONS Bujiug  a  Whale — The  Long-lost  Son. 

CHAPTER  XVII. 

NIGHT  ON  THE  ROAD. THE  CLUB  ASLEEP. THEY 

ENTER  ROME. — THOUGHTS  ON  APPROACHING 
AND  ENTERING  "THE  ETERNAL  CITY." 50 

ILLUSTRATION.— To  Rome. 

CHAPTER  XVIII. 

A  LETTER  BY  DICK,  AND  CRITICISMS  OF  HIS 
FRIENDS 56 

CHAPTER  XIX. 

ST.  PETER'S  ! — THE  TRAGIC  STORY  OF  THE  FAT 
MAN  IN  THE  BALL. — HOW  ANOTHER  TRAGEDY 
NEARLY  HAPPENED. THE  WOES  OFMEINHERR 

SCHATT '. 57 

ILLUSTRATION ,"  Gracious  Me !" 

CHAPTER  XX. 

THE  GLORY,  GRANDEUR,  BEAUTY,  AND  INFINITE 
VARIETY  OF  THE  PINCIAN  HILL;  NARRATED 
AND  DETAILED  NOT  COLUMNARILY  BUT  EX 
HAUSTIVELY,  AND  AFTER  THE  MANNER  OF  RA 


BELAIS. 


CO 


CHAPTER  XXL 


HARMONY   ON  THE  PINCIAN  HILL. — MUSIC    HATH 

CHARMS. AMERICAN  MELODIES. THE  GLORY, 

THE  POWER,  .AND  THE  BEAUTY  OF  YANKEE 
DOODLE,  AND  THE  MERCENARY  SOUL  OF  AN 
ITALIAN  ORGAN-GRINDER 60 

ILLUSTRATION. — Old  Virginny. 

CHAPTER  XXII. 

HOW  A  BARGAIN   IS    MADE. — THE  WILES  OF  THE 

ITALIAN     TRADESMAN.  THE     NAKED      SULKY 

BEGGAR,  AND  THE  JOVIAL  WELL-CLAD  BEG 
GAR. WHO  IS  THE  KING  OF  BEGGARS  ?...  62 

ILLUSTRATION. — The  Shrug. 

CHAPTER  XXIII. 

THE  MANIFOLD  LIFE  OF  THE  CAFE  NUOVO,  AND 
HOW  THEY  RECEIVED  THE  NEWS  ABOUT  MAGEN 
TA. — EXCITEMENT. — ENTHUSIASM.  —  TEARS. 

EMBRACES 64 

ILLUSTRATION. —News  of  Magenta ! 

CHAPTER  XXIV. 

CHECKMATE  ! 65 

ILLUSTRATION.— Before  and  After. 

CHAPTER  XXV. 

BUTTONS  A  MAN  OF  ONE  IDEA. — DICK  AND  IIIS 
MEASURING  TAPE. — DARK  EYES. — SUSCEPTI 
BLE  HEART. — YOUNG  MAIDEN  WHO  LIVES  OUT 
OF  TOWN. GRAND  COLLISION  OF  TWO  AB 
STRACTED  LOVERS  IN  THE  PUBLIC  STREETS.  6G 

ILLUSTRATIONS. — Away ! — Pepita. 


CHAPTER  XXVI. 

CONSEQUENCES  OF  BEIXG  GALLANT  IN  ITALY, 
WHERE  THERE  ARE  LOVERS,  HUSBANDS,  BROTH 
ERS,  FATHERS,  COUSINS,  AND  INNUMERABLE 
OTHER  RELATIVES  AND  CONNECTIONS,  ALL 
READY  WITH  THE  STILETTO  ..................  61) 

ILLUSTRATION.  —  An  Interruption. 

CHAPTER  XXVII. 

DICK  ON  THE  SICK  LIST.  -  RAPTURE  OF  BUTTONS 
AT  MAKING  AN  IMPORTANT  DISCOVERY....  71 

ILLUSTRATION.  —  Poor  Dick! 

CHAPTER  XXVIII. 

WHAT  KIND  OF  A  LETTER  THE  SENATOR  WROTE 
FOR  THE  "NEW  ENGLAND  PATRIOT,"  WHICH 
SHOWS  A  TRUE,  LIBERAL,  UNBIASED,  PLAIN,  UN 
VARNISHED  VIEW  OF  ROME  ..................  73 

ILLUSTRATION.  —  Sketches  by  a  Friend. 
CHAPTER  XXIX. 

THE  LONELY  ONE  AND  HIS  COMFORTER.  —  THE 
TRUE  MEDICINE  FOR  A  SICK  MAN  ...........  75 

CHAPTER  XXX. 

OCCUPATIONS  AND  PEREGRINATIONS  OF  BUT 

TONS  ................................  ..............     77 

ILLUSTRATION.  —  Buttons  and  Murray. 

CHAPTER  XXXI. 

BUTTONS  ACTS  THE  GOOD  SAMARITAN,  AND  LIT 
ERALLY  UNEARTHS  A  MOST  UNEXPECTED  VIC 
TIM  OF  AN  ATROCIOUS  ROBBERY.  —  GR-R-R-A- 

cious  ME!  .......................................     77 


78 


79 


CHAPTER  XXXII. 

ANOTHER  DISCOVERY  MADE    BY  BUTTONS.... 

CHAPTER  XXXIII. 

JSplKEKiK    KO(\£    KO(l£    KO(i£  ........................ 

ILLUSTRATION.  —  Brekekekek  Koax  Koax  ! 

CHAPTER  XXXIV. 

THE  SENATOR  PURSUES  HIS  INVESTIGATIONS.  -  AN 
INTELLIGENT  ROMAN  TOUCHES  A  CHORD  IN  THE 
SENATOR'S  HEART  THAT  VIBRATES.  —  RESULTS 
OF  THE  VIBRATION.  -  A  VISIT  FROM  THE  ROMAN 
POLICE  ;  AND  THE  GREAT  RACE  DOWN  THE  COR- 
SO  BETWEEN  THE  SENATOR  AND  A  ROMAN  SPY. 

-  GLEE  OF  THE  POPULACE!  —  Hi!    Hi!....       80 

ILLUSTRATIONS  —  Got  You  There!  —  Walking  Spanish. 

CHAPTER  XXXV. 

DICK  MAKES  ANOTHER  EFFORT,  AND  BEGINS  TO 
FEEL  ENCOURAGED  ............................  83 

ILLUSTRATION.  —  Dick  Thinks  it  Over. 

CHAPTER  XXXVI. 

SHOWING  HOW  DIFFICULT  IT  IS  TO  GET  A  LAUN 
DRESS,  FOR  THE  SENATOR  WANTED  ONE,  AND 


CONTENTS. 


NOT  KNOWING  THE  LANGUAGE  GOT  INTO  A 
SCRAPE,  NOT  BY  HIS  OWN  FAULT,  FOR  HE  WAS 
CAREFUL  ABOUT  COMMITTING  HIMSELF  WITH 
THE  LADIES  ;  BUT  PRAY,  WAS  IT  HIS  FAULT 
IF  THE  LADIES  WOULD  TAKE  A  FANCY  TO 
HIM? 85 

ILLUSTRATIONS.— The  Senator  in  a  Bad  Fix — The  Sena 
tor  in  a  Worse  Fix. 

•CHAPTER  XXXVII. 

Home.  —  Ancient   History. — THE    PREHISTORIC 

ERA.  CRITICAL  EXAMINATION  OF  NIEBUHR 

AND  HIS   SCHOOL. THE   EARLY  HISTORY  OF 

ROME  PLACED  ON  A  RIGHT  BASIS. EXPLANA 
TION  OF  HISTORY  OF  REPUBLIC. NAPOLEON'S 

"CAESAR."  —  THE  IMPERIAL  REGIME. — THE 
NORTHERN  BARBARIANS. — RISE  OF  THE  PA 
PACY. MEDIEVAL  ROME. 

Topography. TRUE  ADJUSTMENT  OF  BOUNDS  OF 

ANCIENT  CITY. ITS  PROBABLE  POPULATION. 

Geology. — EXAMINATION    OF    FORMATION.  — 

TUFA  TRAVERTINE. ROMAN  CEMENT. TERRA 
COTTA. — Special  consideration  of  Roman  Cata 
combs. BOSIO. — ARRINGHI. — CARDINAL  WISE 
MAN.  RECENT  EXPLORATIONS,  INVESTIGA 
TIONS,  EXAMINATIONS,  EXHUMATIONS,  AND  RE 
SUSCITATIONS. EARLY  CHRISTIAN  HISTORY 

SET    ON    A   TRUE    BASIS. — RELICS. — MARTYRS. 

REAL    ORIGIN     OF    CATACOMBS. TRUE     AND 

RELIABLE  EXTENT  (WITH  MAPS). 

Remarks  on  Art. — THE  RENAISSANCE. — THE  EAR 
LY  PAINTERS  :  CIMABUE,  GIOTTO,  PERUGINO, 
RAFAELLE  SANZIO,  MICHELANGELO  BUONAROT- 
TI. — THE  TRANSFIGURATION. — THE  MOSES  OF 

MICHELANGELO. BELLINI. SAINT    PETER'S, 

AND  MORE  PARTICULARLY  THE  COLONNADE. 

THE  LAST  JUDGMENT. — DANTE. — THE  MEDLS- 

,  VAL  SPIRIT. EFFECT  OF  GOTHIC  ART  ON  ITALY 

AND  ITALIAN  TASTE. COMPARISON  OF  LOM 
BARD  WITH  SICILIAN  CHURCHES. TO  WHAT 

EXTENT  ROME  INFLUENCED  THIS  DEVELOP 
MENT.  THE  FOSTERING  SPIRIT  OF  THE 

CHURCH. ALL     MODERN     ART     CHRISTIAN. 

WHY    THIS    WAS     A    NECESSITY. — FOLLIES     OF 

MODERN  CRITICS. REYNOLDS  AND  RUSKIN. 

HOW  FAR  POPULAR  TASTE  IS  WORTH  ANY 
THING. — CONCLUDING  REMARKS  OF  A  MISCEL 
LANEOUS  DESCRIPTION 88 

CHAPTER  XXXVIII. 

ITALIAN  TRAVEL,  ROADS,  INNS. A  GRAND  BREAK 
DOWN. AN  ARMY  OF  BEGGARS.  SIX  MEN 

HUNTING  UP  A  CARRIAGE  WHEEL;  AND  PLANS 
OF  THE  SENATOR  FOR  THE  GOOD  OF  ITALY.  88 

ILI.USTBATIONS. — Travelling  in  Italy.— The  Senator's  Es 
cort. 

CHAPTER  XXXIX. 

TRIUMPHANT    PROGRESS    OF    DICK. — GENDARMES 

FOILED. THE    DODGE    CLUB    IS    ATTACKED  BY 

BRIGANDS,  AND  EVERY  MAN  OF  IT  COVERS  HIM 
SELF  WITH  GLORY.  —  SCREAM  OF  THE  AMERI 
CAN  EAGLE! 91 

ILLUSTRATIONS. — Dick  in  his  Glory.— Pietro The  Barri 
cade. 

CHAPTER  XL. 

PLEASANT  MEDITATIONS  ABOUT  THE  WONDERS  OF 
TOBACCO  ;  AND  THREE  PLEASANT  ANECDOTES 
BY  AN  ITALIAN  BRIGAND....  .  95 


CHAPTER  XLI. 

FINAL  ATTACK  OF  REINFORCEMENTS  OF  BRIG 
ANDS. — THE  DODGE  CLUB  DEFIES  THEM  AND 

REPELS  THEM. HOW  TO  MAKE  A  BARRICADE. 

FRATERNIZATION   OF    AMERICAN  EAGLE  AND 

GALLIC  COCK. THERE'S  NOTHING  LIKE  LEATH 
ER 96 

ILLUSTBATION An  International  Affair. 

CHAPTER  XLII. 

FLORENCE. — DESPERATION  OF  BUTTONS,  OF  MR. 
FIGGS,  AND  OF  THE  DOCTOR 99 

ILLUSTRATIONS.— Florence,  from  San  Miniato Pitti  Pal 
ace — Fountain  of  Neptune,  Palazzo  Vecchio. — The  Du- 
omo. — The  Campanile.  —  Strozzi  Palace. — Buttons 
Melancholy. 

CHAPTER  XLIII. 

THE     SENATOR     ENTRAPPED. THE     WILES     AND 

WITCHERY    OF    A    QUEEN    OF     SOCIETY. HIS 

FATE  DESTINED  TO  BE,  AS  HE  THINKS,  ITALIAN 

COUNTESSES. SENTIMENTAL  CONVERSATION. 

POETRY. BEAUTY MOONLIGHT. RAPTURE. 

— DISTRACTION. — BLISS  ! 103 

ILLUSTRATION. — La  Cica. 

CHAPTER  XLIV. 

"MORERE  DIAGORA,  NON  ENIM  IN  CCELUM  AD- 

SCENSURUS   ES." THE  APOTHEOSIS  OF  THE 

SENATOR  (NOTHING  LESS — IT  WAS  A  MOMENT 
IN  WHICH  A  MAN  MIGHT  WISH  TO  DIE — 
THOUGH,  OF  COURSE,  THE  SENATOR  DIDN'T 
DIE) 10G 

ILLUSTRATIONS. — Solferino!— The  Senator  Speaks. 
CHAPTER  XLV. 

THE   PRIVATE    OPINION    OF    THE    DOCTOR    ABOUT 

FOREIGN     TRAVEL. BUTTONS      STILL  '  MEETS 

WITH  AFFLICTIONS 109 

ILLUSTRATIONS. — A  Grease  Spot. — Farewell,  Figgs ! 

CHAPTER  XLVI. 

A  MEMORABLE  DRIVE. — NIGHT. THE  BRIGANDS 

ONCE  MORE. — GARIBALDI'S  NAME. — THE  FIRE. 
THE  IRON  BAR. — THE  MAN  FROM  THE  GRAN 
ITE  STATE  AND  HIS  TWO  BOYS 111. 

ILLUSTRATIONS.—  In  the  Coach — A  Free  Fight.— Don't 
Speak. 

CHAPTER  XLVII. 

BAD  BRUISES,  BUT  GOOD  MUSES.  THE  HON 
ORABLE  SCARS  OF  DICK. A  KNOWLEDGE  OF 

BONES 115 

CHAPTER  XL VIII. 

SUFFERING  AND  SENTIMENT  AT  BOLOGNA. MOON 
SHINE. BEST  BALM  FOR  WOUNDS 117 

ILLUSTRATION. — Used  Up. 

CHAPTER  XLIX. 

CROSSING  INTO  THE  ENEMY'S  COUNTRY. CON 
STERNATION  OF  THE  CUSTOM-HOUSE  OFFI 
CERS 118 

ILLUSTRATION. — Buttons  in  Bliss. 


CONTENTS. 


CHAPTER  L. 

VENICE  AND  ITS  PECULIAR  GLORY. — THE  DODGE 

CLUB  COME  TO  GRIEF  AT  LAST. UP  A  TREE. 

IN  A  NET,  ETC 119 

ILLUSTRATIONS.— Dick's  Luggage. — Arrested — Silence ! 

CHAPTER  LI. 

THE  AMERICAN  EAGLE  AND  THE  AUSTRIAN  DOUB 
LE-HEADED  DITTO 122 

ILLUSTRATION — "Don't  Try  it  On  With  Me !" 
CHAPTER  LII. 

THE  SENATOR  STILL  ENGAGED  IN  FACING  DOWN 
THE  AUSTRIAN. — THE  AMERICAN  CONSUL. — 
UNEXPECTED  RE-APPEARANCE  OF  FORGOTTEN 
THINGS. — -COLLAPSE  OF  THE  COURT 124 

ILLUSTRATION.— Watts  Mis-spelled. 

CHAPTER  LIII. 

A  MYSTERIOUS  FLIGHT. — DESPAIR  OF  BUTTONS. 
— PURSUIT. — HISTORIC  GROUND,  AND  HISTORIC 
CITIES 126 

ILLCSTBATION — Formalities. 


CHAPTER  LIV. 

DICK  MEETS    AN  OLD  FRIEND. THE    EMOTIONAL 

NATURE  OF  THE  ITALIAN. — THE  SENATOR  OVER 
COME    AND    DUMBFOUNDED 128 

ILLUSTBA.TION. — The  Count  Ugo. 

CHAPTER  LV. 

IN  WHICH  BUTTONS  WRITES  A  LETTER;  AND  IX 
WHICH  THE  CLUB  LOSES  AN  IMPORTANT  MEM 
BER. SMALL  BY  DEGREES  AND  BEAUTIFULLY 

LESS 121) 

CHAPTER  LVL 

THE  FAITHFUL  ONE  !  —  DARTS,  DISTRACTION, 
LOVE'S  VOWS,  OVERPOWERING  SCENE  AT  THE 

MEETING     OF     TWO     FOND     ONES. COMPLETE 

BREAK-DOWN  OF  THE  HISTORIAN 130 

ILLUSTEATION. — The  Door. 

CHAPTER  LVII. 

THE  DODGE  CLUB  IN  PARIS  ONCE  MORE. — BUT- 
TONS'S  "JOLLY  GOOD  HEALTH." 132 

ILLUSTBATION. — "lie's  a  Jolly  Good  Fellow  I" 


THE  DODGE  CLUB ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


DICK! 


CHAPTER  I. 

PARIS. — THE  DODGE  CLUB. — HOW  TO  SPEAK 
FRENCH.— HOW   TO  RAISE  A  CROWD. 

IT'  is  a  glorious  day  in  Paris.  The  whole 
city  is  out  in  the  public  places,  watching  the 
departure  of  the  army  of  Italy.  Every  imagi 
nable  uniform,  on  foot  and  on  horseback,  en 
livens  the  scene.  Zouaves  are  everywhere. 
Cent  Gardes  hurry  to  and  fro,  looking  ferocious. 
Imperial  Gardes  look  magnificent.  Innumera 
ble  little  red-legged  soldiers  of  the  line  dance 
about,  gesticulating  vehemently.  Grisettes 
hang  about  the  necks  of  departing  braves.  A 
great  many  tears  are  shed,  and  a  great  deal  of 


bombast  uttered.  Tor  the 
invincible  soldiers  of  France 
are  oif  to  fight  for  an  idea ; 
and  doesn't  every  one  of 
them  carry  a  marshal's  ba 
ton  in  his  knapsack  ? 

A  troop  of  Cent  Gardes 
comes  thundering  down  in 
a  cloud  of  dust,  dashing  the 
people  right  and  left.  Loud 
cheers  arise  :  "  Vive  I'Em- 
pereur!"  The  hoarse  voices 
of  myriads  prolong  the  yell. 
It  is  Louis  Napoleon.  He 
touches  his  hat  gracefully 
to  the  crowd. 

A  chasseur  leaps  into  a 
cab. 

"Where   shall   I    take 
you  ?" 

"  To  Glory  !"  shouts  the 
soldier. 

The  crowd  applaud.  The 
cabman  drives  off  and  don't 
want  any  further  direction. 
Here  a  big-bearded  Zou 
ave  kisses  his  big-bearded 
brother  in  a  blouse. 

"  Adieu,     rnon    frere ; 
write  me." 

"Where  shall  I  write?" 
' '  Direct  to  Vienna— posts 
restante.'' 

Every  body  laughs  at 
every  thing,  and  the  crowd 

^ are  quite  wild  at  this. 

A  young  man  is  perched 
upon  a  pillar  near  the  gar 
den  wall  of  the  Tuileries.     He  enjoys  the  scene 
immensely.     After  a  while  he  takes  a  clay  pipe 
from  his  pocket  and  slowly  fills  it.     Having  com 
pleted  this  business  he  draws  a  match  alon^' 
the  stone  and  is  just  about  lighting  his  pipe. 
"Halloo!" 

Down  drops  the  lighted  match  on  the  neck 
of  an  ouvrier.     It  burns.     The  man  scowls  up ; 
but  seeing  the  cause,  smiles  and  waves  his  hand 
forgivingly. 
"Dick!" 

At  this  a  young  man  in  the  midst  of  the 
crowd  stops  and  looks  around.  He  is  a  short 
young  man,  in  whose  face  there  is  a  strange 
mixture  of  innocence  and  shrewdness.  He  is 


THE  DODGE  CLUB  ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


pulling  a  baby-carriage,  containing  a  small 
specimen  of  French  nationality,  and  behind 
him  walks  a  majestic  female. 

The  young  man  Dick  takes  a  quick  survey 
and  recognizes  the  person  who  has  called  him. 
Down  drops  the  pole  of  the  carriage,  and,  to 
the  horror  of  the  majestic  female,  he  darts  off, 
and,  springing  up  the  pillar,  grasps  first  the  foot 
and  then  the  hand  of  his  friend. 

"Buttons  !"  he  cried  ;  "  what,  you !  you  here 
in  Paris !" 

"  I  believe  I  am." 

"  Why,  when  did  you  come  ?" 

"  About  a  month  ago." 

"  I  had  no  idea  of  it.  I  didn't  know  you 
were  here." 

''And  I  didn't  know  that  you  were.  I 
thought  by  this  time  that  you  were  in  Italy. 
What  has  kept  you  here  so  long?" 

Dick  looked  confused. 

"  Why  tlie  fact  is,  I  am  studying  German." 

"  German  !  in  Paris  !     French,  you  mean." 

"  No,  German." 

"  You're  crazy ;  who  with  ?" 

Dick  nodded  his  head  toward  his  late  com 
panion. 

' '  What,  that  woman  ?  How  she  is  scowling 
at  us !" 

"Is  she  ?"  said  Dick,  with  some  trepidation. 

"Yes.  But  don't  look.  Have  you  been 
with  her  all  the  time  ?" 

"  Yes,  seven  months." 

"Studying  German!"  cried  Buttons,  with  a 
laugh.  "Who  is  she?" 

"Madame  Bang." 


11EKE   I    1KVITE   MY 


"Bang?  Well,  Madame  Bang  must  look 
out  for  another  lodger.  You  must  come  with 
me,  young  man.  You  need  a  guardian.  It's 
well  that  I  came  in  time  to  rescue  you.  Let's 
be  off!" 

And  the  two  youths  descended  and  were 
soon  lost  in  the  crowd. 

"  Three  flights  of  steps  are  bad  enough  ;  but 
great  Heavens  !  what  do  you  mean  by  taking  a 
fellow  up  to  the  eighth  story  ?" 

Such  was  the  exclamation  of  Dick  as  he  fell 
exhausted  into  a  seat  in  a  little  room  at  the  top 
of  one  of  the  tallest  houses  in  Paris. 
"  Economy,  my  dear  boy." 
"  Ehem  !" 

"Paris  is  overflowing,  and  I  could  get  no 
other  place  without  paying  an  enormous  price. 
Now  I  am  trying  to  husband  my  means." 
"  I  should  think  so." 
"I  sleep  here — " 
"  And  have  plenty  of  bedfellows." 
"  I  eat  here — " 

"The  powers  of  the  human  stomach  are  as 
tounding." 

"  And  here  I  invite  my  friends."        * 
"Friends    only,   I   should    think.      Nothing 
but  the  truest  friendship  could  make   a   man 
hold  out  in  sucli  an  ascent." 

"But  come.     What  are  your  plans ?" 
"  I  have  none." 

"  Then  you  must  league  yourself  with  me." 
"I  shall  be  delighted." 
"  And  I'm  going  to  Italy." 
"  Then  I'm  afraid  our  league  is  already  at  an 
end." 

"Why?" 

"  I  haven't  money  enough." 
"  How  much  have  you  ?" 
"  Only  five  hundred  dollars  ;  I've 
spent  all  the  rest  of  my  allowance." 

"Five  hundred?  Why,  man,  I 
have  only  four  hundred." 

"What!  and  you're  going  toltaly?" 
"  Certainly." 

"  Then  I'll  go  too  and  run  the  risk. 
But  is  this  the  style  ?"  and  Dick  looked 
dolefully  around. 

"  By  no  means — not  always.  But 
you  must  practice  economy." 

"  Have  you  any  acquaintances?" 
"  Yes,  two.     We  three  have  formed 
ourselves  into  a  society  for  the  purpose 
of  going  to  Italy.     Wre  call  ourselves 
the  Dodge  Club." 

"  The  Dodge  Club?" 
"  Yes.  Because  our  principle  is  to 
dodge  all  humbugs  and  swindles,  which 
make  travelling  so  expensive  generally. 
We  have  gained  much  experience  al 
ready,  and  hope  to  gain  more.  One 
of  my  friends  is  a  doctor  from  Phil 
adelphia,  Doctor  Snakeroot,  and  the 
other  is  Senator  Jones  from  Massa 
chusetts.  Neither  the  Doctor  nor  the 
Senator  understand  a  word  of  any  Ian- 


THE  DODGE  CLUB  ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


guage  but  the  American.  That  is  the  reason 
why  I  became  acquainted  with  them. 

"  First  as  to  the  Doctor,  I  picked  him  up  at 
Dunkirk.  It  was  in  a  cafe.  I  was  getting  my 
modest  breakfast  when  I  saw  him  come  in. 
He  sat  down  and  boldly  asked  for  coffee.  Aft 
er  the  usual  delay  the  gar9on  brought  him  a 
small  cup  filled  with  what  looked  like  ink. 
On  the  waiter  was  a  cup  of  eau  de  vie,  and  a  lit 
tle  plate  containing  several  enormous  lumps  of 
loaf-sugar.  Never  shall  I  forget  the  Doctor's  face 
'of  amazement.  He  looked  at  each  article  in  suc 
cession.  What  was  the  ink  for?  what  the  bran- 
dv  ?  what  the  sugar  ?  He  did  not  know  that  the 
two  first  when  mixed  makes  the  best  drink  in  the 
world,  and  that  the  last  is  intended  for  the  pock 
et  of  the  guest  by  force  of  a  custom  dear  to  ev 
ery  Frenchman.  To  make  a  long  story  short, 
I  explained  to  him  the  mysteries  of  French  cof 
fee,  and  we  became  sworn  friends. 

"My  meeting  with  the  Senator  was  under 
slightly  different  circumstances.  It  was  early 
in  the  morning.  It  was  chilly.  I  was  walk 
ing  briskly  out  of  town.  Suddenly  I  turned 
a  corner  and  came  upon  a  crowd.  They  sur 
rounded  a  tall  man.  He  was  an  American, 
and  appeared  to  be  insane.  First  he  made 
gestures  like  a  man  hewing  or  chopping.  Then 
he  drew  his  hand  across  his  throat.  Then  he 
staggered  forward  and  pretended  to  fall.  Then 
he  groaned  heavily.  After  which  he  raised  him 
self  up  and  looked  at  the  crowd  with  an  air  of 
mild  inquiry.  They  did  not  laugh.  They  did  not 
even  smile.  They  listened  respectfully,  for  they 
knew  that  the  strange  gentleman  wished  to  ex- 


!  press  something.     On  the  whole,  I  think  if  I 
j  hadn't  come  up  that  the  Senator  would  have 
,  been  arrested  by  a  stiff  gendarme  who  was  just 
then  coming  along  the  street.     As  it  was,  I  ar 
rived  just  in  time  to  learn  that  he  was  anxious 
I  to  see  the  French  mode  of  killing  cattle,  and 
was  trying   to  find   his  way  to  the  abattoirs. 
;  The  Senator  is  a  fine  man,  but  eminently  prac 
tical.     He  used  to  think  the  French  language 
'  an  accomplishment  only.     He  has  changed  his 
mind  since  his  arrival  here.     He  has  one  little 
peculiarity,  and  that  is,  to  bawl  broken  English 
at  the  top  of  his  voice  when  he  wants  to  commu 
nicate  with  foreigners." 

Not  long  afterward  the  Dodge  Club  received 
a  new  member  in  the  person  of  Mr.  Dick  Whif- 
fletree.  The  introduction  took  place  in  a  mod 
est  cafe',  where  a  dinner  of  six  courses  was  sup 
plied  for  the  ridiculous  sum  of  one  franc — soup, 
a  roast,  a  fry,  a  bake,  a  fish,  a  pie,  bread  at 
discretion,  and  a  glass  of  vinegar  generously 
thrown  in. 

At  one  end  of  the  table  sat  the  Senator,  a 
very  large  and  muscular  man,  with  iron-gray 
hair,  and  features  that  were  very  strongly 
marked  and  very  strongly  American.  He  ap 
peared  to  be  about  fifty  years  of  age.  At  the 
other  sat  the  Doctor,  a  slender  young  man  in 
black.  On  one  side  sat  Buttons,  and  opposite 
to  him  was  Dick. 

"Buttons,"  said  the  Senator,  "were  you  out 
yesterday  ?" 
"  I  was." 
"  It  was  a  powerful  crowd." 

"Rather  large." 
"  It  was  im-mense.     I  never 
before  had  any  idea  of  the  popu 
lation    of  Paris.      New   York 
isn't  to  be  compared  to  it." 

"As  to  crowds,  that  is  noth 
ing  uncommon  in  Paris.  Set 
a  rat  loose  in  the  Champs  Ely- 
se'cs,  and  I  bet  ten  thousand 
people  will  be  after  it  in  five 
minutes." 
"Sho!" 

"  Any  thing  will  raise  a  crowd 
in  Paris." 

"It  will  be  a  small  one. 
then." 

"  My  dear  Senator,  in  an 
hour  from  this  I'll  engage  my 
self  to  raise  as  large  a  crowd  as 
the  one  you  saw  yesterday." 

"  My  dear  Buttons,  you  look 
like  it." 

M\Vill  you  bet?" 
"  Bet  ?  Are  you  in  earnest  ?" 
"  Never  more  so." 
"But  there  is  an  immense 
crowd  outside  already." 

"Then  let  the  scene  of  my 
trial  be  in  a  less  crowded  plac* 
— the  Place  Vendome,  for  in 
stance." 


THE  DODGE  CLUB  ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX, 


"  Name  the  conditions." 

"  In  an  hour  from  this  I  engage  to  fill  the 
Place  Vendome  with  people.  Whoever  fails 
forfeits  a  dinner  to  the  Club." 

The  eyes  of  Dick  and  the  Doctor  sparkled. 

"Done  !"  said  the  Senator. 

"  All  that  you  have  to  do,"  said  Buttons, 
"  is  to  go  to  the  top  of  the  Colonne  Vendome 
and  wave  your  hat  three  times  when  you  want 
me  to  begin." 

"I'll  do  that.  But  it's  wrong,"  said  the 
Senator.  "It's  taking  money  from  you.  You 
must  lose." 

"Oh,  don't  be  alarmed,"  said  Buttons,  cheer 
fully. 

The  Dodge  Club  left  for  the  Place  Ven 
dome,  and  the  Senator,  separating  himself 
from  his  companions,  began  the  ascent.  But 
tons  left  his  friends  at  a  corner  to  see  the 


result,  and  walked  quickly  down  a  neighboring 
street. 

Dick  noticed  that  every  one  whom  he  met 
stopped,  stared,  and  then  walked  quickly  for 
ward,  looking  up  at  the  column.  These  peo 
ple  accosted  others,  who  did  the  same.  In  a 
few  minutes  many  hundreds  of  people  were 
looking  up  and  exchanging  glances  with  one  an 
other. 

In  a  short  time  Buttons  had  completed  the 
circuit  of  the  block,  and  re-entered  the  Place 
by  another  street.  He  was  running  at  a  quick 
pace,  and,  at  a  moderate  calculation,  about  two 
thousand  gamins  de  Paris  ran  before,  beside, 
and  behind  him.  Gens  d'armes  caught  the  ex 
citement,  and  rushed  frantically  about.  Sol 
diers  called  to  one  another,  and  tore  across  the 
square  gesticulating  and  shouting.  Carriages 
stopped ;  the  occupants  stared  up  at  the  col 
umn  ;  horsemen  drew  up  their  rearing  horses ; 
dogs  barked ;  children  screamed ;  up  flew  a 
thousand  windows,  out  of  which  five  thousand 
heads  were  thrust. 

At  the  end  of  twenty  minutes,  after  a  very 
laborious  journey,  the  Senator  reached  the  top 
of  the  column.  He  looked  down. 

A  cry  of  amazement  burst  from  him.  The 
immense  Place  Vendome  was  crammed  with 
human  beings.  Innumerable  upturned  faces 
were  staring  at  the  startled  Senator.  All 
around,  the  lofty  houses  sent  all  their  inmates 
to  the  open  windows,  through  which  they  look 
ed  up.  The  very  house-tops  were  crowded. 
Away  down  all  the  streets  which  led  to  the 
Place  crowds  of  human  beings  poured  along. 

"  Well,"  muttered  the  Senator,  "  it's  evident 
that  Buttons  understands  these  Frenchmen. 
However,  I  must  perform  my  part,  so  here- 
goes." 

And  the  Senator,  majestically  removing  his 
hat,  waved  it  slowly  around  his  head  seven 
times.  At  the  seventh  whirl  his  fingers  slipped, 
and  a  great  gust  of  wind  caught  the  hat  and 
blew  it  far  out  into  the  air. 


TUB  PLACE   VENIK>.\1K. 


THE  DODGE  CLUB  ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


It  fell. 

A  deep  groan  of  horror  burst  forth  from  the 
multitude,  so  deep,  so  long,  so  terrible  that  the 
Senator  turned  pale. 

A  hundred  thousand  heads  upturned ;  two 
hundred  thousand  arms  waved  furiously  in  the 
air.  The  tide  of  new-comers  flowing  up  the 
other  streets  filled  the  Place  to  overflowing ; 
and  the  vast  host  of  people  swayed  to  and  fro, 
agitated  by  a  thousand  passions.  All  this  was 
the  work  of  but  a  short  time. 

"  Come,"  said  the  Senator,  "  this  is  getting 
beyond  a  joke." 

There  was  a  sudden  movement  among  the 
people  at  the  foot  of  the  column.  The  Senator 
leaned  over  to  see  what  it  was. 

At  once  a  great  cry  came  up,  like  the  thun 
der  of  a  cataract,  warningly,  imperiously,  ter 
ribly.  The  Senator  drew  back  confounded. 

Suddenly  he  advanced  again.  He  shook  his 
head  deprecatingly,  and  waved  his  arms  as  if  to 
disclaim  any  evil  motives  which  they  might  im 
pute  to  him.  But  they  did  not  comprehend 
him.  Scores  of  stiff  gens  d'armes,  hundreds  of 
little  soldiers,  stopped  in  their  rush  to  the  foot 
of  the  column  to  shake  their  fists  and  scream  at 
him. 

"  Now  if  I  only  understood  their  doosid  lin 
go,"  thought  the  Senator.  "But" — after  a 
pause — "  it  wouldn't  be  of  no  account  up  here. 
And  what  an  awkward  fix,"  he  added,  "  for  the 
father  of  a  family  to  stand  hatless  on  the  top 
of  a.  pillory  like  this  !  Sho  !" 

There  came  a  deep  rumble  from  the  hollow 
stairway  beneath  him,  which  grew  nearer  and 
louder  every  moment. 

"  Somebody's  coming,"  said  the  Senator. 
"Wa'al,  I'm  glad.  Misery  loves  company. 
Perhaps  I  can  purchase  a  hat." 

In  five  minutes  more  the  heads  of  twenty 
gens  d'armes  shot  up  through  the  opening  in 
the  top  of  the  pillar,  one  after  another,  and  re 
minded  the  Senator  of  the  "  Jump-up-John- 
nies  "  in  children's  toys.  Six  of  them  seized 
him  and  made  him  prisoner. 

The  indignant  Senator  remonstrated,  and  in 
formed  them  that  he  was  an  American  citizen. 

His  remark  made  no  impression.  They  did 
not  understand  English. 

The  Senator's  wrath  made  his  hair  fairly 
bristle.  He  contented  himself,  however,  with 
drawing  up  the  programme  of  an  immediate 
war  between  France  and  the  Great  Republic* 

It  took  an  hour  for  the  column  to  get  emp 
tied.  It  was  choked  with  people  rushing  up. 
Seven  gentlemen  fainted,  and  three  escaped  with 
badly 'sprained  limbs.  During  this  time  the 
Senator  remained  in  the  custody  of  his  captors. 

At  last  the  column  was  cleared. 

The  prisoner  was  taken  down  and  placed  in  a 
cab.  He  saw  the  dense  crowd  and  heard  the 
mighty  murmurs  of  the  people. 

^  He  was  driven  away  for  an  immense  distance. 
It  seemed  miles. 

At  last  the  black  walls  of  a  huge  edifice  rose 
before  him.  The  cab  drove  under  a  dark  arch 


way.  The  Senator  thought  of  the  dungeons  of 
the  Inquisition,  and  other  Old  World  horrors  of 
which  he  had  heard  in  his  boyhood. 

So  the  Senator  had  to  give  the  dinner.  Th« 
Club  enjoyed  it  amazingly. 

Almost  at  the  moment  of  his  entrance  But 
tons  had  arrived,  arm  in  arm  with  the  Amer 
ican  minister,  whose  representations  and  ex 
planations  procured  the  Senator's  release. 

"  I  wouldn't  have  minded  it  so  much,"  said 
the  Senator,  from  whose  manly  bosom  the  last 
trace  of  vexation  had  fled,  "if  it  hadn't  been 
for  that  darned  policeman  that  collared  me  first. 
What  a  Providence  it  was  that  I  didn't  knock 
him  down  !  Who  do  you  think  he  was  ?" 

"Who?" 

"The  very  man  that  was  going  to  arrest  me 
the  other  day  when  I  was  trying  to  find  my  way 
to  the  slaughter-house.  That  man  is  my  evil 
genius.  I  will  leave  Paris  before  another  day." 

"The  loss  of  your  hat  completed  my  plans," 
said  Buttons.  "Was  that  done  on  purpose? 
Did  you  throw  it  down  for  the  sake  of  saying 
'  Take  my  hat  ?'  " 

"  No.  It  was  the  wind,"  said  the  Senator, 
innocently.  "But  how  did  you  manage  to 
raise  the  crowd  ?  You  haven't  told  us  that  yet." 

"  How  ?  In  the  simplest  way  possible.  I 
told  every  soul  I  met  that  a  crazy  man  was  go 
ing  up  the  Colonne  Vendome  to  throw  himself 
down." 

A  light  burst  in  upon  the  Senator's  soul. 
He  raised  his  new  hat  from  a  chair,  and  placing 
it  before  Buttons,  said  fervently  and  with  unc 
tion  : 

"  Keep  it,  Buttons!" 


KEEP  IT.  BUTTONS! 


10 


THE  DODGE  CLUB;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


THAT'S  A  UOTFL  BILL. 


CHAPTER  II. 


ORLEANS. — HOW  TO  QUELL  A  LANDLORD. — HOW 
'TO  FIGHT  OFF  HUMBUGS  J  AND  HOW  TO  TRAVEL 
WITHOUT  BAGGAGE. 

A  TREMENDOUS  uproar  in  the  hall  of  a  hotel 
at  Orleans  awaked  every  member  of  the  Dodge 
Club  from  the  sound  and  refreshing  slumber 
into  which  they  had  fallen  after  a  fatiguing 
journey  from  Paris. 

Filing  out  into  the  hall  one  after  another  they 
beheld  a  singular  spectacle. 

It  was  a  fat  man,  bald-headed,  middle-aged, 
with  a  well-to-do  look,  that  burst  upon  their 
sight.  , 

He  was  standing  in  the  hall  with  flushed  face 
and  stocking  feet,  swearing  most  frightfully.  A 
crowd  of  waiters  stood  around  shrugging  their 
shoulders,  and  trying  to  soothe  him.  As  the 
fat  man  spoke  English,  and  the  waiters  French, 
there  was  a  little  misapprehension. 

"There,  gentlemen,"  cried  the  fat  man,  as 
he  caught  sight  of  our  four  friends,  "  look  at 
that !  What  do  you  call  that  ?" 

"  That?"  said  Buttons,  taking  a  paper  which 
the  fat  man  thrust  in  his  face,  "  why,  that's  a 
hotel  bill." 

"A  hotel  bill?'  Why  it's  an  imposition!" 
cried  the  other  excitedly. 

"Perhaps  it  is,"  said  Buttons,  coolly. 

"  Of  course  it  is  !  Read  it  out  loud,  and  let 
these  gentlemen  see  what  they  think  of  it." 

"I'll  read  it  in  English,"  said  Buttons,  "for 
the  benefit  of  the  Club :" 

Mister  Blank, 

To  the  Hotel  du  Rni : 


Six  porters  
One  cab  

6 

2 
2 
5 
5 
2 

....  1 

t.     ' 

One  candle.  .  . 
One  candle.  .  . 
One  candle.  .  . 
One  candle.  .  . 

...  1      " 
...  1      " 
...  1      " 

...  1      " 

One  information. 
Wine  

Tobacco.  .  . 

"By  Jove!  Thirty-five  francs!  My  dear 
Sir,  I  quite  agree  with  you.  It's  an  imposi 
tion." 

A  deep  sigh  expressed  the  relief  of  the  fat 
man  at  this  mark  of  sympathy. 

"  There's  no  redress,"  said  Buttons.  "  You'll 
have  to  grin  and  bear  it.  For  you  must  know 
that  in  these  inland  towns  hotel-keepers  are  in 
league,  offensive  and  defensive,  with  all  the 
cab-drivers,  omnibus-drivers,  postillions,  truck 
men,  hostlers,  porters,  errand-boys,  cafe'-keep- 
ers,  cicerones,  tradesmen,  lawyers,  chamber 
maids,  doctors,  priests,  soldiers,  gens  d'armes, 
magistrates,  etc.,  etc.,  etc.  In  short,  the  whole 
community  is  a  joint-stock  company  organized 
to  plunder  the  unsuspecting  traveller." 

"And  must  I  stand  here  and  be  swindled 
without  a  word  ?"  cried  the  other. 

"  By  no  means.  Row  like  fury.  Call  up 
the  whole  household  one  by  one,  and  swear  at 
them  in  broad  Saxon.  That's  the  way  to  strike 
terror  into  the  soul  of  a  Frenchman." 

The  fat  man  stared  for  a  moment  at  Buttons, 
and  then  plunging  his  hands  deep  inro  his 
trowsers  pockets  he  walked  up  and  down  the  hall. 

At  last  he  turned  to  the  others  : 

"  Gentlemen,  is  this  endurable?" 
•   "  Horrible !"  cried  Dick. 

"  Abominable  !"  the  Doctor. 

"Infamous!"  the  Senator. 

"By  jingo!  I've  a  great  mind  to  go  home. 
If  I've  got  to  be  plundered,  I'd  a  durned  sight 
rather  have  my  money  go  to  support  our  own 
great  and  glorious  institutions." 

There  is  no  doubt  that  the  unfortunate  man 
would  have  had  to  pay  up  if  it  had  not  been  for 
the  energetic  action  of  Buttons. 

He  summoned  the  hotel-keeper  before  him, 
and,  closing  the  door,  asked  his  friends  to  sit 
down. 


THE  DODGE  CLUB  ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


-11 


Then  Buttons,  standing  up,  began  to  repeat  to 
the  hotel-keeper,  smilingly,  but  with  extraor 
dinary  volubility,  Daniel  Webster's  oration 
against  Hayne.  The  polite  Frenchman  would 
not  interrupt  him,  but  listened  with  a  bland 
though  somewhat  dubious  smile. 

The  Dodge  Club  did  infinite  credit  to  them 
selves  by  listening  without  a  smile  to  the  words 
of  their  leader. 

Buttons  then  went  through  the  proposition 
about  the  hypothenuse  of  a  right-angled  tri 
angle,  and  appended  the  words  of  a  few  negro 
songs. 

Here  the  worthy  landlord  interrupted  him, 
begging  his  pardon,  and  telling  him  that  he  did 
not  understand  English  very  well,  and  could 
his  Excellency  speak  French  ? 

His  Excellency,  with  equal  politeness,  regret 
ted  his  want  of  complete  familiarity  with  French. 
He  was  forced  when  he  felt  deeply  on  any  sub 
ject  to  express  himself  in  English. 

Then  followed  Cicero's  oration  against  Verres, 
and  he  was  just  beginning  a  speech  of  Chat 
ham's  when  the  landlord  surrendered  at  dis 
cretion. 

When,  after  the  lapse  of  three  hours  and 
twenty-five  minutes,  the  fat  man  held  his  bill 
toward  him,  and  Buttons  offered  five  francs, 
he  did  not  even  remonstrate,  but  took  the  money, 
and  hastily  receipting  the  bill  with  his  pencil, 
darted  from  the  room. 

"Well,"  exclaimed  the  Senator,  when  he 
had  recovered  from  the  effects  of  the  scene — "  I 
never  before  realized  the  truth  of  a  story  I  once 
heard." 

"What  was  the  story?" 

"  Oh,  it  was  about  a  bet  be 
tween  a  Yankee  and  a  French 
man,  who  could  talk  the  long 
est.  The  two  were  shut  up 
in  a  room.  They  remained 
there  three  days.  At  the  end 
of  that  time  their  friends  broke 
open  the  door  and  entered, 
and  what  do  you  think  they 
found  there  ?" 

"Nobody?"  suggested  the 
fat  man. 

"No,"  said  the  Senator, 
with  a  glow  of  patriotic  pride 
on  his  fine  face.  "  But  they 
found  the  Frenchman  lying 
dead  upon  the  floor,  and  the 
Yankee  whispering  in  his  ear 
the  beginning  of  the  second 
part  of  the  Higgins  story." 

"  And  what  is  the  Higgins 
story?" 

"For  Heaven's  sake,1' 
gasped  the  Doctor,  storting 
up,  "don't  ask  him  now — 
wait  till  next  week  !" 

As  they  passed  over  the 
mountains  of  Auvergne  a  new 
member  was  added  to  the 
Dodge  Club. 


It  was  the  fat  man. 

He  was  President  of  a  Western  bank. 

His  name  was  Figgs. 

It  was  a  damp,  dull,  dreary,  drencjpng  night, 
when  the  lumbering  diligence  bore  the  Dodgo 
Club  through  the  streets  of  Lyons  and  up  to 
the  door  of  their  hotel.  Seventeen  men  and 
five  small  boys  stood  bowing  ready  to  receive 
them. 

The  Senator,  Buttons,  and  Dick  took  the 
small  valises  which  contained  their  travelling 
apparel,  and  dashed  through  the  line  of  servitors 
into  the  house.  The  Doctor  walked  after,  se 
renely  and  majestically.  He  had  no  baggage. 
Mr.  Figgs  descended  from  the  roof  with  con 
siderable  difficulty.  Slipping  from  the  wheel, 
he  fell  into  the  outstretched  arms  of  three  wait 
ers.  They  put  him  on  his  feet. 

His  luggage  was  soon  ready. 

Mr.  Figgs  had  two  trunks  and  various  other 
articles.  Of  these  trunks  seven  waiters  took 
one,  and  four  the  other.  Then 

Waiter  No.  12  took  hat-box; 

13  travelling  desk ; 

14  Scotch  plaid ; 

15  over-coat ; 

16  nmbrella ; 

17  rubber  coat; 
Boy             1          cane ; 

2  muffler ; 

3  one  of  his  mittens  ; 

4  the  other ; 

5  cigar-case. 

After  a  long  and  laborious  dinner  they  rose 
and  smoked. 


CICERO  AGAINST  VEEBE8. 


THE  DODGE  CLUB  ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


8AC-R-K-E-KE  I 

The  head  waiter  informed  Mr.  Figgs  that 
with  his  permission  a  deputation  would  wait  on 
him.  Mr.  Figgs  was  surprised,  but  graciously 
invited  the  deputation  to  walk  in.  They  ac 
cordingly  walked  in.  Seventeen  men  and  five 
boys. 

"  What  did  they  want?" 

"  Oh,  only  a  pourboire  with  which  to  drink 
his  Excellency's  noble  health." 

"  Really  they  did  his  Excellency  too  much 
honor.  Were  they  not  mistaken  in  their  man  ?" 

"  Oh  no.  They  had  carried  his  luggage  into 
the  hotel." 

Upon  this  Mr.  Figgs  gave  strong  proof  of  poor 
moral  training,  by  breaking  out  into  a  volley  of 
Western  oaths,  which  shocked  one  half  of  the 
deputation,  and  made  the  other  half  grin. 

Still  they  continued  respectful  but  firm,  and 
reiterated  their  demand. 

Mr.  Figgs  called  for  the  landlord.  That  gen 
tleman  was  in  bed.  For  his  wife.  She  did 
not  attend  to  the  business.  For  the  head  wait 
er.  The  spokesman  of  the  deputation,  with  a 
polite  bow,  informed  him  that  the  head  waiter 
stood  before  him  and  was  quite  at  his  service. 

The  scene  was  ended  by  the  sudden  entrance 
of  Buttons,  who,  motioning  to  Mr.  Figgs,  pro 
ceeded  to  give  each  waiter  a  douceur.  One 
after  another  took  the  proffered  coin,  and  with 
out  looking  at  it,  thanked  the  generous  donor 
with  a  profusion  of  bows. 

Five  minutes  after  the  retreating  form  of 
Buttons  had  vanished  through  the  door,  twenty- 
one  persons,  consisting  of  men  and  boys,  stood 
staring  at  one  another  in  blank  amazement. 

Anger  followed ;  then 

"  Sac-r-r-r-r-r-r-R-K-R-R-R-R-R-.R<s .'" 

He  had  given  each  one  a  centime. 

But  the  customs  of  the  hotel  were  not  to  be 
changed  by  the  shabby  conduct  of  one  mean- 
minded  person.  When  the  Club  prepared  to 
retire  for  the  night  they  were  taken  to  some 
rooms  opening  into  each  other.  Five  waiters 


led  the  way ;  one  waiter  to 
each  man,  and  each  carried  a 
pair  of  tall  wax-candles.  Mr. 
Figgs's  waiter  took  him  to  his 
room,  laid  down  the  lights, 
and  departed. 

The  doors  which  connected 
the  rooms  were  all  opened, 
and  Mr.  Figgs  walked  through 
to  see  about  something.  He 
saw  the  Doctor,  the  Senator, 
Buttons,  and  Dick,  each  draw 
the  short,  well-used  stump  of 
a  wax-candle  from  his  coat 
pocket  and  gravely  light  it. 
Then  letting  the  melted  wax 
fall  on  the  mantle-pieces  they 
stuck  their  candles  there,  and 
in  a  short  time  the  rooms 
were  brilliantly  illuminated. 

TJhe  waiters  were  thunder 
struck.      Such   a   procedure 
had   never   come  within  the 
compass  of  their  experience   of  the  ways  of 
travellers. 

"  Bonsoir,"  said  Buttons.  "  Don't  let  us  de 
tain  you." 

They  went  out  stupefied. 
"  What's  the  idea  now?"  inquired  Mr.  Figgs. 
"Oh,  they  charge  a  franc  apiece  for  each 
candle,  and  that  is  a  swindle  which  we  will  not 
submit  to." 

"And  will  I  have  to  be  humbugged  again  ?" 
"  Certainly." 
"Botheration." 

"  My  dear  Sir,  the  swindle  of  bougies  is  the 
curse  of  the  Continental  traveller.  None  of  us 
are  particularly  prudent,  but  we  are  all  on  the 
watch  against  small  swindles,  and  of  them  all 
this  is  the  most  frequent  and  most  insidious,  the 
most  constantly  and  ever  recurrent.  Beware, 
my  dear  President,  of  bougies — that's  what  we 
call  candles." 

Mr.  Figgs  said  nothing,  but  leaned  against 
the  wall  for  a  moment  in  a  meditative  mood,  as 
if  debating  what  he  should  do  next. 

He  happened  to  be  in  the  Doctor's  room.  He 
had  already  noticed  that  this  gentleman  had  no 
perceptible  baggage,  and  didn't  understand  it. 
But  now  he  saw  it  all. 

The  Doctor  began  gravely  to  make  prepara 
tions  for  the  night. 

Before  taking  off  his  over-coat  he  drew  vari 
ous  articles  from  the  pockets,  among  which 
were : 


A  hair-brush, 

A  tooth-brush, 

A  shoe-brush, 

A  pot  of  blacking, 

A  night-shirt, 

A  clothes-brush, 

A  pipe, 

A  pouch  of  tobacco, 

A  razor, 

A  shaving-brush, 

A  piece  of  soap, 


A  night-cap, 
A  bottle  of  hair-oil, 
A  pistol, 
A  guide-book, 
A  cigar-case, 
A  bowie-knife, 
A  piece  of  cord, 
A  handkerchief, 
A  case  of  surgical  in 
struments, 
Some  bits  of  candles. 


Mr.  Figgs  rushed  from  the  room. 


THE  DODGE  CLUB  ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


13 


U 


NUMBER  7-9. 

CHAPTER  III. 

THE   RHONE  IN  A  RAIN. — THE   MAD  FRENCHMAN. 
— SUICIDE   A   CAPITAL,  CRIME   IN  FRANCE. 

THE  steamboats  that  run  on  the  Rhone  are 
very  remarkable  contrivances.  Their  builders 
have  only  aimed  at  combining  a  maximum  of 
length  with  a  minimum  of  other  qualities,  so 
that  each  boat  displays  an  incredible  extent  of 
deck  with  no  particular  breadth  at  all.  Five 
gentlemen  took  refuge  in  the  cabin  of  the 
Etoile,  from  the  drenching  rain  which  fell  dur 
ing  half  of  their  voyage.  This  was  an  absurd 
vessel,  that  made  trips  between  Lyons  and  Avign 
on.  Her  accommodations  resembled  those  of 
a  canal  boat,  and  she  was  propelled  by  a  couple 
of  paddle-wheels  driven  by  a  Lilliputian  engine. 
It  was  easy  enough  for  her  to  go  down  the 
river,  as  the  current  took  the  responsibility  of 
moving  her  along ;  but  how  she  could  ever  get 
back  it  was  difficult  to  tell. 

They  were  borne  onward  through  some  of  the 
fairest  scenes  on  earth.  Ruined  towers,  ivy- 
covered  castles,  thunder-blasted  heights,  fertile 
valleys,  luxuriant  orchards,  terraced  slopes,  trel- 
lised  vineyards,  broad  plains,  bounded  by  dis 
tant  mountains,  whose  summits  were  lost  in  the 
clouds ;  such  were  the  successive  charms  of  the 
region  through  which  they  were  passing.  Yet 
though  they  were  most  eloquently  described  in 
the  letters  which  Buttons  wrote  home  to  his 
friends,  it  must  be  confessed  that  they  made 
but  little  impression  at  the  time,  and  indeed 
were  scarcely  seen  at  all  through  the  vapor- 
covered  cabin  windows. 

Avignon  did  not  excite  their  enthusiasm. 
In  vain  the  guide-book  told  them  about  Pe 
trarch  and  Laura.  The  usual  raptures  were 
not  forthcoming.  In  vain  the  cicerone  led 
them  through  the  old  papal  palace.  Its  sombre 
walls  awakened  no  emotion.  The  only  effect 
produced  was  on  the  Senator,  who  whiled  away 
the  hours  of  early  bed-time  by  pointing  out  the 
superiority  of  American  institutions  to  those 
which  reared  the  prisons  which  they  had  visited. 


Aries  was  much  more 
satisfactory.  There 
are  more  pretty  wom 
en  in  Aries  than  in 
any  other  town  of  the 
same  size  on  the  Con 
tinent.  The  Club 
created  an  unusual 
excitement  in  this 
peaceful  town  by  walk 
ing  slowly  through  it 
in  Indian  file,  nar 
rowly  scrutinizing  ev 
ery  thing.  They  won 
dered  much  at  the 
numbers  of  people  that 
filled  the  cathedral, 
all  gayly  dressed.  It, 
was  not  until  after  a 
long  calculation  that 
they  found  out  that  it 
was  Sunday.  Buttons 

kept  his  memorandum-book  in  his  hand  all  day, 
and  took  account  of  all  the  pretty  women  whom 
he  saw.  The  number  rose  as  high  as  729.  He 
would  have  raised  it  higher,  but  unfortunately 
an  indignant  citizen  put  a  stop  to  it  by  charg 
ing  him  with  impertinence  to  his  wife. 

On  the  railroad  to  Marseilles  is  a  famous 
tunnel.  At  the  last  station  before  entering 
the  tunnel  a  gentleman  got  in.  As  they  passed 
through  the  long  and  gloomy  place  there  sud 
denly  arose  a  most  outrageous  noise  in  the 
car. 

It  was  the  new  passenger. 
Occasionally  the  light  shining  in  would  dis 
close  him,  dancing,  stamping,  tearing  his  hair, 
rolling  his  eyes,  gnashing  his  teeth,  and  curs 
ing. 

"  Is  he  crazy  ?"  said  Dick. 
"Or  drunk?"  said  Buttons. 
Lo  and  behold !  just  as  the  train  emerged 
from  the  tunnel  the  passenger  made  a  frantic 
dash  at  the  window,  flung  it  open,  and  before 
any  body  could  speak  or  move  he  was  half  out. 
To  spring  over  half  a  dozen  seats,  to  land 
behind  him,  to  seize  his  outstretched  leg,  to  jerk 
him  in  again,  was  but  the  work  of  a  moment. 
It  was  Buttons  who  did  this,  and  who  banged 
down  the  window  again. 

"  Sac-r-r-R-R-Re  !"  cried  the  Frenchman. 
"  Is  it  that  you  are  mad  ?"  said  Buttons. 
" Sacre  Bleu!"  cried  the  other.      "  Who  are 
you  that  lays  hands  on  me  ?" 

"  I  saved  you  from  destruction." 
"Then,  Sir,  you  have  no  thanks.     Behold 
me,  I'm  a  desperate  man !" 

In  truth  he  looked  like  one.  His  clothes 
were  all  disordered.  His  lips  were  bleeding, 
and  most  of  his  hair  was  torn  out.  By  this 
time  the  guard  had  come  to  the  spot.  All 
those  in  the  car  had  gathered  round.  It  was  a 
long  car,  second-class,  like  the  American. 

"M'sieu,  how  is  this?     What  is  it  that  I 
see?     You  endeavor  to  kill  yourself  ?" 
"Leave  me.     I  am  desperate." 


14 


THE  DODGE  CLUB  ;  OK,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


"  But  no.     M'sieu,  what  is  it  ?" 

"Listen.  I  enter  the  train  thinking  to  go 
to  Avignon.  I  have  important  business  there, 
most  important.  Suddenly  I  am  struck  by  a 
thought.  I  find  I  have  mistaken.  I  am  car 
ried  to  Marseilles.  It  is  the  express  train,  and 
I  must  go  all  the  way.  Horror !  Despair ! 
Life  is  of  no  use  !  It  is  time  to  resign  it !  I 
die!  Accordingly  I  attempt  to  leap  from  the 
window,  when  this  gentleman  seizes  me  by  the 
leg  and  pulls  me  in.  Behold  all." 

"M'sieu,"  said  the  guard,  slowly,  and  with 
emphasis,  "you  have  committed  a  grave  of 
fense.  Suicide  is  a  capital  crime." 

"A  capital  crime!"  exclaimed  the  French 
man,  turning  pale.  "  Great  Heaven  !" 

"  Yes,  Sir.  If  you  leap  from  the  car  I  shall 
put  you  in  irons,  and  hand  you  over  to  the  po 
lice  when  we  stop. " 

The  Frenchman's  p'ale  face  grew  paler.  He 
became  humble.  He  entreated  the  guard's 
compassion.  He  begged  Buttons  to  intercede. 
He  had  a  family.  Moreover  he  had  fought  in 
the  wars  of  his  country.  He  had  warred  in 
Africa.  He  appealed  to  the  Senator,  the  Doc 
tor,  to  Figgs,  to  Dick.  Finally  he  became 
calm,  and  the  train  shortly  after  arrived  at 
Marseilles. 

The  last  that  was  seen  of  him  he  was  rushing 
frantically  about  looking  for  the  return  train. 


HOEKOB!    DESPAIB! 


CHAPTER  IV. 

MARSEILLES. 

OLD  Massilia  wears  her  years  well.  To  look 
at  her  now  as  she  appears,  full  of  life  and  joy  and 
gayety,  no  one  would  imagine  that  thirty  cen 
turies  or  more  had  passed  over  her  head. 

Here  is^the  first  glimpse  of  the  glorious  South, 
with  all  its  sunshine  and  luxury  and  voluptuous 


j  beauty.     Here  the  Mediterranean  rolls  its  wa- 
'  ters  of  deepest  blue,  through  the  clear  air  the 
landscape  appears  with  astonishing  distinctness, 
'  and  the  sharply-defined  lines  of  distinct  objects 
;  surprise  the  Northern   eye.     Marseilles  is   al 
ways  a  picturesque  city.     No  commercial  town 
in  the  world  can  compare  with  it  in  this  respect. 
,  On    the  water   float  the  Mediterranean   craft, 
I  rakish  boats,  with  enormous  latteen  sails  ;  long, 
low,  sharp,  black  vessels,  with  a  suspicious  air 
redolent  of  smuggling  and  piracy.     No  tides 
!  rise    and   fall  —  advance    and    retreat.       The 
waters  are  always  the  same. 

All  the  Mediterranean  nations  are  represent- 

•  ed  in  Marseilles.     Three-quarters  of  the  world 

I  send  their  people  here.     Europe,  Asia,  Africa. 

In  the  streets  the  Syrian  jostles  the  Spaniard  ; 

the  Italian  the  Arab  ;  the  Moor  jokes  with  the 

i  Jew ;  the  Greek  chaffers  with  the  Algerine  ;  the 

Turk  scowls  at  the  Corsican ;  the  Russian  from 

Odessa  pokes  the  Maltese  in  the  ribs.     There  is 

no   want   of  variety  here.      Human  nature  is 

seen  under  a  thousand  aspects.     Marseilles  is 

the  most  cosmopolitan  of  cities,  and  represents 

not  only  many  races  but  many  ages. 

Moreover  it  is  a  fast  city.     New  York  is  not 
more  ambitious ;  Chicago  not  more  aspiring  ; 
i  San  Francisco  not  more  confident  in  its  future. 
Amazing  sight !     Here  is  a  city  which,  at  the 
end  of  three  thousand  years,  looks  forward  to  a 
longer  and  grander  life  in  the  future. 
And  Avhy  ? 

Why,  because  she  expects  yet  to  be  the  arbi 
ter  of  Eastern  commerce.  Through  her  the 
gold,  the  spices,  and  the  gems  of  India  will  yet 
be  conveyed  over  the  European  world.  For  the 
Suez  Canal,  which  will  once  more  turn  the 
tide  of  this  mighty  traffic  through  its  ancient 
Mediterranean  channel,  will  raise  Marseilles  to 
the  foremost  rank  among  cities. 

So,  at  least,  the  Marseillaise  believe. 
When  our  travellers  arrived  there  the  city 
was  crammed  with  soldiers.  The  harbor  was 
packed  with  steamships.  Guns  were  thunder 
ing,  bands  playing,  fifes  screaming,  muskets  rat 
tling,  regiments  tramping,  cavalry  galloping. 
Confusion  reigned  supreme.  Every  thing  was 
out  of  order.  No  one  spoke  or  thought  of  any 
thing  but  the  coming  war  in  Lombanly. 

Excitable  little  red-legged  French  soldiers 
danced  about  everywhere.  Every  one  was  be 
side  himself.  None  could  use  the  plain  lan 
guage  of  every-day  life.  All  were  intoxicated 
with  hope  and  enthusiasm. 

The  travellers  admired  immensely  the  excit 
ing  scene,  lint  their  admiration  was  changed  to 
disgust  when  they  found  that  on  account  of  the 
rush  of  soldiers  to  Italy  their  own  prospects  of 
getting  there  were  extremely  slight. 

At  length  they  found  that  a  steamer  was  go 
ing.  It  was  a  propeller.  Its  name  was  the 
Prince.  The  enterprising  company  that  owned 
her  had  patriotically  chartered  every  boat  on 
their  line  to  the  Government  at  an  enormous  prof 
it,  and  had  placed  the  Prince  on  the  line  for  the 
use  of  travellers. 


THE  DODGE  CLUB ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


15 


TU06E  ITALIANS. 


CHAPTER  V. 

THE  RETIRED  ORGAN-GRINDER. — THE  SENATOR 
I»HILOSOPHIZES.— EVILS  OF  NOT  HAVING  A  PASS 
PORT. 

THE  Mediterranean  is  the  most  glorious  of 
seas.  The  dark-blue  waves  ;  the  skies  of  dark 
er  blue ;  the  distant  hills  of  purple,  with  their 
crowns  of  everlasting  snow ;  and  the  beetling 
precipice,  where  the  vexed  waters  forever  throw 
up  their  foaming  spray;  the  frequent  hamlets 
that  nestle  among  them  ;  the  castles  and  towers 
that  crown  the  lofty  heights ;  and  the  road 
that  winds  tortuously  along  the  shore — all  these 
form  a  scene  in  which  beauty  more  romantic 
than  that  of  the  Rhine  is  contrasted  with  all  the 
grandeur  of  the  ocean. 

Buttons,  with' his  usual  flexible  and  easy  dis 
position,  made  the  acquaintance  of  a  couple  of 
Italians  who  had  been  away  from  Italy  and 
were  now  returning.  They  were  travelling  sec 
ond-class. 

Buttons  supposed  they  were  glad  to  get  back. 

"  Glad  ?  Did  he  doubt  it  ?  Why,  they  were 
Italians." 

"  Are  Italians  fonder  of  their  country  than 
others  ?" 

"Without  doubt.  Had  they  not  the  best 
reason  to  be  ?" 

"Why?" 

"  They  had  the  garden  and  pride  of  the 
world  for  their  country.  Mention  any  other  in 
the  same  breath  with  Italy." 

' '  If  they  love  it  so  much  why  can  they  not 
keep  it  for  themselves  ?" 
B 


"  How  can  you  ask  that  ?  If  you  know  the 
history  of  the  country  you  will  see  that  it  has 
been  impossible.  No  other  was  ever  so  beset. 
It  is  split  up  into  different  States.  It  is  sur 
rounded  by  powerful  enemies  who  take  advan 
tage  of  this.  It  would  not  be  so  bad  if  there 
were  only  one  foreign  foe  ;  but  there  are  many, 
and  if  one  were  driven  out  another  would  step 
in." 

"  There  will  be  a  chance  for  them  now  to 
show  what  they  can  do." 

"  True  ;  and  you  will  see  what  they  will  do. 
They  only  want  the  French  to  open  the  way. 
We  Italians  can  do  the  rest  ourselves.  It  is  a 
good  time  to  go  to  Italy.  You  will  see  devo 
tion  and  patriotism  such  as  you  never  saw  be 
fore.  There  is  no  country' so  beloved  as  Italy." 

"  I  think  other  nations  are  as  patriotic." 

"  Other  nations  !  What  nations?  Do  yon 
know  that  the  Italians  can  not  leave  Italy  ?  It 
is  this  love  that  keeps  them  home.  French, 
Germans,  Spaniards,  Portuguese,  English — all 
others  leave  their  homes,  and  go  all  over  the 
world  to  live.  Italians  can  not  and  do  not." 

"  I  have  seen  Italians  in  America." 

"  You  have  seen  Italian  exiles,  not  emi 
grants.  Or  you  have  seen  them  staying  there 
for  a  few  years  so  as  to  earn  a  little  money  to 
go  back  with.  They  are  only  travellers  on 
business.  They  are  always  unhappy,  and  are 
always  cheered  by  the  prospect  of  getting  home 
at  last." 

These  Italians  were  brothers,  and  from  ex 
perience  in  the  world  had  grown  very  intellN 
gent.  One  had  been  in  the  hand-organ  busi- 


J6 


THE  DODGE  CLUB ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


ness,  the  other  in  the  image-making  line.  Ital 
ians  can  do  nothing  else  in  the  bustling  com 
munities  of  foreign  nations.  Burtons  looked 
with  respect  upon  those  men  who  thus  had  car 
ried  their  love  for  their  dear  Art  for  years 
through  strange  lands  and  uncongenial  climes. 

"If  I  were  an  Italian  I  too  would  be  an 
organ-grinder!"  he  at  length  exclaimed. 

The  Italians  did  not  reply,  but  evidently 
thought  that  Buttons  could  not  be  in  a  better 
business.  x 

"  These  /talians,"  said  the  Senator,  to  whom 
Buttons  had  told  the  conversation — "  these  Ttal 
ians,"  said  he,  after  they  had  gone,  "air 
singular  people.  They're  deficient.  They'r 
wanting  in  the  leading  element  of  the  age 
They  haven't  got  any  idee  of  the  principl 
of  pro-gross.  They  don't  understand  trade 
There's  where  they  miss  it.  What's  the  ust 
of  hand-organs  ?  What's  the  use  of  dancers  ? 
What's  the  use  of  statoos,  whether  plaster  im 
ages  or  marble  sculptoor?  Can  they  clear  for 
ests  or  build  up  States?  No,  Sir;  and  there 
fore  I  say  that  this  /talian  nation  will  never  be 
wuth  a  cuss  until  they  are  inoculated  with  the 
spirit  of  Seventy-six,  the  principles  of  the  Pil 
grim  Fathers,  and  the  doctrines  of  the  Revo 
lution.  Boney  knows  it  "—he  added,  senten- 
tiously— "  bless  you,  Boney  knows  it." 

After  a  sound  sleep,  which  lasted  until  late 
in  the  following  day,  they  went  out  on  deck. 
There  lay  Genoa. 

Glorious  sight !  As  they  stood  looking  at 
the  superb  city  the  sun  poured  down  upon  the 
scene  his  brightest  rays.  The  city  rose  in  suc 
cessive  terraces  on  the  side  of  a  semicircular 
-slope  crowned  with  massive  edifices;  moles 
lected  into  the  harbor  terminated  by  lofty 
towers ;  the  inner  basin  was  crowded  with  ship 
ping,  prominent  among  which  were  countless 
French  ships  of  war  and  transports.  The  yells 
fifes,  the  throbbing  of  drums,  the  bang  of 
muskets,  the  thunder  of  cannon,  and  the  strains 
of  martial  music  filled  the  air.  Boats  crowded 


with  soldiers  constantly  passed  from  the  ships 
to  the  stone  quays,  where  thousands  more  wait 
ed  to  receive  them— soldiers  being   mixed  up 
with  guns,  cannons,   wheels,  muskets,  drums 
baggage,  sails,    beams,    timbers,   camps    mat 
tresses  casks,  boxes,  irons,  in  infinite  confusion. 
We  must  go  ashore  here,"  said  Buttons 
1  Does  any  body   know  how  long  the  steamer 
will  remain  here?" 
"A  day." 

•'A  day  !     That  will  be  magnificent!     We 
will  be  able  to  see  the  whole  city  in  that  time 
Let's  go  and  order  a  boat  off." 

The  Captain  received  them  politely. 
"  What  did  Messieurs  want  ?     To  go  ashore  ? 
With  the  utmost  pleasure.    Had  they  their  pass 
ports  ?     Of  course  they  had  them  vised  in  Mar 
seilles  for  Genoa." 

Buttons  looked  blank,  and  feebly  inquired  : 
"Why?" 

"It's  the  law,  Monsieur.  We  are  prohibited 
from  permitting  passengers  to  go  ashore  un 
less  their  passports  are  all  right.  It's  a  mere 
form." 

A  mere  form  !"   cried  Buttons.      "  Whv 
ours  are  vised  for  Naples." 

"Naples!"  cried  the  Captain,  with  a  shrug: 
"you  are  unfortunate,  Messieurs.  That  will 
not  pass  you  to  Genoa." 

"My  dear  Sir,  you  don't  mean  to  tell  me 
that,  on  account  of  this  little  informality,  you 
will  keep  us  prisoners  on  board  of  this  vessel  ? 
Consider — " 

"  Monsieur,"  said  the  Captain,  courteously, 
'I  did  not  make  these  laws.     It  is  the  law  ;'l 
can  not  change  it.     I  should  be  most  happy  to 
oblige  you,  but  I  ask  you,  how  is  it  possible  ?'" 

The^  Captain  was  right.  He  could  do  noth- 
ng.  The  travellers  would  have  to  swallow 
heir  rage. 

Imagine  them  looking  all  day  at  the  loveli- 
st  of  Italian  scenes— the  glorious  city  of  Genoa, 
•ith  all  its  historic  associations  .'—the  city  of 
ie  Dorias,  the  home  of  Columbus,  even  now 


GENOA,  TUB  6UPEKB. 


THE  DODGE  CLUB  ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


17 


the  scene  of  events  upon  which  the  eyes  of  all 
the  world  were  fastened. 

Imagine  them  looking  upon  all  tins,  and  only 
looking,  unable  to  go  near  ;  seeing  all  the  prep 
arations  for  war,  b.ut  unable  to  nnng  e  with  the 
warriors.  To  pace  up  and  down  all  day ;  to 
shake  their  lists  at  the  scene ;  to  fret,  and  fume, 
and  chafe  with  irrepressible  impatience;  to 
scold,  to  rave,  to  swear- this  was  the  lot . 
unhappy  tourists. 

High  in  the  startled  heavens  rose  the  thun 
der  of  preparations  for  the  war  in  Lombardy. 
They  heard  the  sounds,  but  could  not  watch 
the  scene  near  at  hand. 

The  day  was  as  long  as  an  ordinary  week, 
but  at  length  it  came  to  an  end.     On  the  fl 
lowing  morning  steam  was  got  up,  and  they 
went  to  Leghorn. 

"I  suppose  they  will  play  the  same  game 
on  us  at  Leghorn,"  said  Dick,  mournfully. 

"  Without  doubt,"  said  Buttons, 
don't  mind  ;  the  bitterness  of  death  is  past, 
can  stand  any  thing  now." 


I  Again  the  same  tantalizing  view  of  a  great 
city  from  afar.  Leghorn  lay  inviting  them,  but 
the  unlucky  passport  kept  them  on  board  of  the 
vessel.  The  Senator  grew  impatient,  Mr.  Figgs 
I  and  the  Doctor  were  testy  ;  Dick  and  Buttons 
I  alone  were  calm.  It  was  the  calmness  of  de 


spair. 

After  watching  Leghorn  for  hours  they  were 
taken  to  Civita  Vecchia.  Here  they  rushed 
down  below,  and  during  the  short  period  of 
their  stay  remained  invisible. 

At  last  their  voyage  ended,  and  they  entered 
the  harbor  of  Naples.  Glorious  Naples !  Naples 
the  captivating ! 

"  Vede  Napoli,  e  poi  mori  /" 
There  was  the  Bay  of  Naples— the  match 
less,  the  peerless,  the  indescribable!  There 
the  rock  of  Ischia,  the  Isle  of  Capri,  there  the 
slopes  of  Sorrento,  where  never-ending  spring 
abides;  there  the  long  sweep  of  Naples  and 
her  sister  cities ;  there  Vesuvius,  with  its  thin 
volume  of  smoke  floating  like  a  pennon  in  the 
air! 


THEIR  NOU1.E   EXCKI.LEXCIKS. 


CHAPTER  VI. 

LAZAHOSI   AND   MACAKONI. 

ABOUT  forty  or  fifty  lazaroni  surrounded  the 
Dodge  Club  when  they  landed,  but  to  their  in 
tense  disgust  the  latter  ignored  them  altogeth 
er,  and  carried  their  own  umbrellas  and  carpet 
bags.  But  the  lazaroni  revenged  themselves. 
As  the  Doctor  stooped  to  pick  up  his  cane, 
which  had  fallen,  a  number  of  articles  dropped 
from  his  breast-pocket,  and  among  them^was  a 
revolver,  a  thing  which  was  tabooed  in  Naples. 
A  ragged  rascal  eagerly  snatched  it  and  handed 


it  to  a  gendarme,  and  it  was  only  after  paying 
a  piastre  that  the  Doctor  was  permitted  to  re 
tain  it. 

Even  after  the  travellers  had  started  n 
foot  in  search  of  lodgings  the  lazaroni  did  not 
desert  them.  Ten  of  them  followed  every 
where.  At  intervals  they  respectfully  offered 
to  carry  their  baggage,  or  show  them  to  a 
hotel,  whichever  was  most  agreeable  to  their 
Noble  Excellencies. 

Their  Noble  Excellencies  were  in  despair. 

At  length,  stumbling  upon  the  Cafe  dell'  Eu- 

l  ropa,  they   rushed   in   and  passed  three  hours 


18 


THE  DODGE  CLUB  ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


over  their  breakfast.  This  done,  they  congrat 
ulated  themselves  on  having  got  rid  of  their 
followers. 

In  vain ! 

Scarcely  had  they  emerged  from  the  cafe' 
than  Dick  uttered  a  cry  of  horror.  From  be 
hind  a  corner  advanced  their  ten  friends,  with 
•the  same  calm  demeanor,  the  same  unruffled 
and  even  cheerful  patience,  and  the  same  re 
spectful  offer  of  their  humble  services. 

In   despair  they  separated.      Buttons   and 
Dick  obtained  lodgings  in  the  Strada  di  San  I 
Bartollomeo.     The  Senator  and  the  other  two 
engaged  pleasant  rooms  on  the  Strada  Nuova, 
which  overlooked  the  Bay. 

Certainly  Naples  is  a  very  curious  place. 
There  are  magnificent  edifices — palaces,  mon 
uments,  castles,  fortresses,  churches,  and  cathe 
drals.  There  are  majestic  rows  of  buildings ; 
gay  shops,  splendidly  decorated ;  stately  colon 
nades,  and  gardens  like  Paradise.  There  are 
streets  unrivalled  for  gayety,  forever  filled  to 
overflowing  with  the  busy,  the  laughing,  the 
jolly ;  dashing  officers,  noisy  soldiers,  ragged 
lazaroni,  proud  nobles,  sickly  beggars,  lovely 
ladies ;  troops  of  cavalry  galloping  up  and 
down ;  ten  thousand  caleches  dashing  to  and 
fro.  There  is  variety  enough  everywhere. 

All  the  trades  are  divided,  and  arranged  in 
different  parts  of  the  city.  Here  are  the  lock 
smiths,  there  the  cabinet-makers;  here  the 
builders,  there  the  armorers ;  in  this  place  the 
basket-weavers,  in  that  the  cork-makers. 

And  most  amusing  of  all  is  the  street  most 
favored  of  the  lazaroni.  Here  they  live,  and 
move,  and  have  their  being  ;  here  they  are 
born,  they  grow,  they  wed,  they  rear  families, 
they  eat,  and  drink,  and  die.  A  long  array  of 
furnaces  extends  up  the  street ;  over  each  is  a 
stew-pan,  and  behind  each  a  cook  armed  with 
an  enormous  ladle.  At  all  hours  of  the  duy  the 
cook  serves  up  macaroni  to  customers.  This  is 
the  diet  of  the  people. 

In  the  cellars  behind  those  lines  of  stew-pans 


are  the  eating-houses  of  the  vulgar — low,  grimy 
places,  floors  incrusted  with  mud,  tables  of 
thick  deal  worn  by  a  thousand  horny  hands, 
slippery  with  ten  thousand  upset  dishes  of  mac 
aroni.  Here  the  pewter  plates,  and  the  iron 
knives,  forks,  and  spoons  are  chained  to  the 
massive  tables.  How  utter  must  the  destitu 
tion  be  when  it  is  thought  necessary  to  chain 
up  such  worthless  trash  ! 

Into  one  of  these  places  went  Buttons  and 
Dick  in  their  study  of  human  nature.  They 
sat  at  the  table.  A  huge  dish  of  macaroni  was 
served  up.  Fifty  guests  stopped  to  look  at  the 
new-comers.  The  waiters  winked  at  the  cus 
tomers  of  the  house,  and  thrust  their  tongues 
in  their  cheeks. 

Dick  could  not  eat,  but  the  more  philosoph 
ical  Buttons  made  an  extremely  hearty  meal, 
and  pronounced  the  macaroni  delicious. 

On  landing  in  a  city  which  swarmed  with 
beggars  the  first  thought  of  our  tourists  was, 
How  the  mischief  do  they  all  live  ?  There  are 
sixty  thousand  lazaroni  in  this  gay  city.  The 
average  amount  of  clothing  to  each  man  is 
about  one-third  of  a  pair  of  trowsers  and  a 
woolen  cap.  But  after  spending  a  day  or  two 
the  question  changed  its  form,  and  became, 
How  the  mischief  can  they  all  help  living  ? 
Food  may  be  picked  up  in  the  streets.  Hand- 
fuls  of  oranges  and  other  fruits  sell  for  next  to 
nothing;  strings  of  figs  cost  about  a  cent. 

The  consequence  is  that  these  sixty  thousand 
people,  fellow-creatures  of  ours,  who  are  known 
as  the  lazaroni  of  Naples,  whom  we  half  pity 
and  altogether  despise,  and  look  upon  as  the 
lowest  members  of  the  Caucasian  race,  are  not 
altogether  very  miserable.  On  the  contrary, 
taken  as  a  whole,  they,  form  the  raggedest, 
oiliest,  fattest,  drollest,  noisiest,  sleekest,  dirti 
est,  ignorantcst,  prejudicedest,  narrow-minded- 
est,  shirtlessest,  clotheslessest,  idlest,  careless- 
est,  jolliest,  absurdest,  rascaliest — but  still,  for 
all  that,  perhaps — taken  all  in  all — the  happi 
est  community  on  the  face  of  the  earth. 


LAZARONI  AND  MACARONI. 


THE  DODGE  CLUB ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


19 


YANKEE  DOODLE. 

CHAPTER  VII. 

DOLORES. — AN  ITALIAN  MAID  LEARNS  ENGLISH. — 
A  ROMANTIC  ADVENTURE. — A  MASQUERADE,  AND 
WHAT  BEFELL  THE  SENATOR. — A  CHARMING 
DOMINO.  — A  MOONLIGHT  WALK,  AND  AN  AS 
TOUNDING  DISCOVERY. 

THE  lodgings  of  Buttons  and  Dick  were  in  a 
remarkably  central  part  of  Naples.  The  land 
lord  was  a  true  Neapolitan ;  a  handsome,  gay, 
witty,  noisy,  lively,  rascally,  covetous,  ungrate 
ful,  deceitful,  cunning,  good-hearted  old  scoun 
drel,  who  took  advantage  of  his  guests  in  a 
thousand  ways,  and  never  spoke  to  them  with 
out  trying  to  humbug  them.  He  was  the  fa 
ther  of  a  pretty  daughter  who  had  all  her  par 
ent's  nature  somewhat  toned  down,  and  expand 
ed  in  a  feminine  mould. 

Buttons  had  a  chivalrous  soul,  and  so  had 
Dick ;  the  vivacity  of  this  very  friendly  yoiing 
lady  was  like  an  oasis  in  the  wilderness  of 
travel.  In  the  evening  they  loved  to  sit  in  the 
sunshine  of  her  smile.  She  was  singularly 
unconventional,  this  landlord's  daughter,  and 
made  many  informal  calls  on  Tier  two  lodgers 
in  their  apartment. 

An  innocent,  sprightly  little  maid — name  Do 
lores — age  seventeen — complexion  olive — hair 
jet  black — eyes  likes  tars,  large,  luminous,  and 
at  the  same  time  twinkling — was  anxious  to 
learn  English,  especially  to  sing  English  songs  ; 
and  so  used  to  bring  her  guitar  and  sing  for  the 
Americans.  Would  they  teach  her  their  nation 


al  song?     "Oh  yes!  happy 
beyond  expression  to  do  so.'1 
The  result,  after  ten  lessons, 
was  something  like  this  : 

"  Anty  Dooda  tumma  towna 

By  his  sef  a  po-ne 

Stacca  fiidda  inna  sat 

Kalla  Maccaroni." 

She  used  to  sing  this  in  the 
most  charming  manner,  espe 
cially  the  last  word  in  the  last 
line.  Not  the  least  charm  in 
her  manner  was  her  evident 
conviction  that  she  had  mas 
tered  the  English  language. 

"Was  it  not  an  astonish 
ing  thing  for  so  young  a  Sign- 
orina  to  know  English  ?'' 

"  Oh,  it  was  indeed  !"  said 
Buttons,  who  knew  Italian 
very  well,  and  had  the  lion's 
share  of  the  conversation  al 
ways. 

"  And  they  said  her  accent 
was  fine  ?" 

"Oh,  most  beautiful !" 
"Bellissima!  Bellissima!" 
repeated  little  Dolores,  and 
she  would  laugh  until  her  eyes 
overflowed  with  delighted  van 
ity. 

"Could    any    Signorina 
Americana  learn  Italian  in  so 
short  a  time  ?" 

"  No,  not  one.  They  had  not  the  spirit.  They 
could  never  equal  her  most  beautiful  accent." 

"  Ah  !  you  say  all  the  time  that  my  accent  is 
most  beautiful." 

One  day  she  picked  tip  a  likeness  of  a  young 
lady  which  was  lying  on  the  table. 

"  Who  is  this  ?""  she  asked,  abruptly,  of  But 
tons. 

"  A  Signorina." 

"  Oh  yes !     I  know ;  but  is  she  a  relative  ?" 
"No." 

"  Are  you  married  ?" 
"No." 

"  Is  this  your  affianced  ?" 
"  Yes." 

"  Ah,  how  strange !  What  will  you  be? — a 
soldier  or  an  advocate  ?" 

"  Neither.     I  will  be  a  priest." 
"  A  priest !     Signer,  what  is  it  that  you  tell 
me  ?     How  can  this  be  your  affianced  lady  ?" 

"  Oh !  in  our  country  the  priests  all  marry, 
and  live  in  beautiful  little  cottages,  with  a  gar 
den  in  front." 

This  Dolores  treated  with  the  most  contempt 
uous  incredulity.  Who  ever  heard  of  such  a 
thing  ?  Impossible !  Moreover,  it  was  so  ab 
surd.  Buttons  told  her  that  he  was  affianced 
five  years  ago. 

"  An  eternity !"  exclaimed  Dolores.  "How 
can  you  wait  ?  But  you  must  have  been  very 


young. 
"  Young  ? 


Yes,  only  sixteen." 


20 


THE  DODGE  CLUB  ;  OK,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


"  Blessed  and  most  venerable  Virgin  !  Only 
sixteen !  And  is  she  the  most  beautiful  girl 
you  know  ?" 

"No." 

"Where  have  you  seen  one  more  so?" 

"  In  Naples." 

"Who  is  she?" 

"  An  Italian." 

"  What  is  her  name  ?" 

"  Dolores." 

"  That's  me." 

"  I  mean  you." 

This  was  pretty  direct ;  but  Dolores  was  frank, 
and  required  frankness  from  others.  Some  young 
ladies  would  have  considered  this  too  coarse  and 
open  to  be  acceptable.  But  Dolores  had  so  high 
an  opinion  of  herself  that  she  took  it  for  sincere 
homage.  So  she  half  closed  her  eyes,  leaned 
back  in  her  chair,  looked  languishingly  at  But 
tons,  and  then  burst  into  a  merry  peal  of  music 
al  laughter. 

"I  think  I  am  the  most  beautiful  girl  you 
ever  saw." 

It  was  Buttons's  turn  to  laugh.  He  told  Do 
lores  that  she  was  quite  right,  and  repeated  her 
favorite  word,  "Bellissima!" 

One  evening  when  Dick  was  alone  in  the 
room  a  knock  came  to  the  door. 

"  Was  he  disengaged?" 

"  Oh,  quite." 

"  The  Signora  in  the  room  next — " 

"Yes." 

"  Would  be  happy  to  see  him." 

"Now?" 

"Yes,  as  soon  as  he  liked." 


I   KISS  IJA.NDS. 


The  Signora  did  not  have  to  wait  long.  In 
less  time  than  it  takes  to  tell  this  Dick  stood 
with  his  best  bow  before  her.  How  he  con 
gratulated  himself  on  having  studied  Italian  ! 
The  lady  reclined  on  a  sofa.  She  was  about 
thirty,  and  undeniably  pretty.  A  guitar  lay  at 
her  feet.  Books  were  scattered  around— French 
novels,  and  manuals  of  devotion.  Intelligence 
beamed  from  her  large,  expressive  eyes.  How 
delightful !  Here  was  an  adventure,  perhaps  a 
fair  conquest. 

"  Good-evening,  Signor !" 
"I  kiss  the  hands  to  your  ladyship,"  said 
Dick,  mustering  a  sentence  from  Ollendorff. 
"  Pardon  me  for  this  liberty." 
"  I  assure  you  it  gives  me  the  greatest  happi 
ness,  and  I  nm  wholly  at  your  service." 

"  I  have  understood  that  you  are  an  Ameri 
can." 

"  I  am,  Signora." 

"And  this  is  your  first  visit  to  Naples  ?" 
"My  first,  Signora." 
"  How  does  Naples  please  you  ?" 
"  Exceedingly.  The  beautiful  city,  the  crowd 
ed  streets,  the  delightful  views — above  all,  the 
most  charming  ladies." 

A  bow — a  slight  flush  passed  over  the  lady's 
face,  and  Dick  whispered  to  himself — 

"  Well  put,  Dick,  my  boy — deuced  well  put 
for  a  beginner." 

"  To  come  to  the  point,"  said  the  lady,  with 
a  sigh. — ("Ah,  here  we  have  it!"  thought 
Dick — the  point — blessed  moment !) — "  I  would 
not  have  ventured  to  trouble  you  for  any  slight 
cause,  Signor,  but  this  nearly  concerns  myself." — • 
(Keep  down — our  heart,  murmured 
Dick — cool,  you  dog — cool!) — "My 
happiness  and  my  tenderest  feel 
ings — "  (Dick's  suffused  eyes  ex 
pressed  deep  sympathy.) — "  1  thought 
of you — " 

"Ah,  Signora !" 

"And  not  being  acquainted  with 
you — "  (What  a  shame  ! — aside) — 
"I  concluded  to  waive  all  formality  " 
— (Social  forms  are  generally  a  nui 
sance  to  ardent  souls — aside) — "and 
to  communicate  at  once  with  you." 

"  Signora,  let  me  assure  you  that 
this  is  the  happiest  moment  in  my 
life." 

The  Signora  looked  surprised,  but 
went  on  in  a  sort  of  preoccupied  way : 
"  I  want  to  know  if  you  can  tell  me 
any  thing  about  my  brother." 
"  Brother !" 

"Who  is  now  in  America." 
Dick  opened  his  eyes. 
"I thought  that  perhaps  yon  could 
tell  me  how  he  is.     I  have  not  heard 
from  him  for  two  years,  and  feel  very 
anxious." 

Dick  sat  for  a  moment  surprised  at 
this  unexpected  turn.  The  lady's 
anxiety  about  her  brother  he  could 
see  was  not  feigned.  So  he  concealed 


THE  DODGE  CLUB  ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


21 


TUB  YOU.NG  HUSSAR. 

his  disappointment,  and  in  his  most  engaging 
manner  informed  her  that  he  had  not  seen  her 
brother  ;  but  if  she  could  tell  him  his  name,  and 
the  place  where  he  was  living,  he  might  be  able 
to  tell  something  about  him. 

"His  name,"  sighed  the  lady,  "is  Giulio 
Faijti." 

"  And  the  plaee  ?" 

"Rio  Janeiro." 

"  Rio  Janeiro?'' 

"Yes,"  said  the  lady,  slowly. 

Dick  wasln  despair.  Not  to  know  any  thing 
of  her  brother  would  make  her  think  him  stu 
pid.,  So  he  attempted  to  explain  : 

"  America,"  he  began,  "  is  a  very  large  coun 
try — larger,  in  fact,  than  the  whole  Kingdom 
of  Naples.  It  is  principally  inhabited  by  sav 
ages,  who  are  very  hostile  to  the  whites.  The 
whites  have  a  few  cities,  however.  In  the  North 
the  whites  all  speak  English.  In  the  South  they 
all  speak  Spanish.  The  South  Americans  are 
good  Catholics,  and  respect  the  Holy  Father ; 
but  the  English  in  the  North  are  all  heretics. 
Consequently  there  is  scarcely  any  communica 
tion  between  the  two  districts." 

The  lady  had  heard  somewhere  that  in  the 
American  wars  they  employed  the  savages  to 
assist  them.  Dick  acknowledged  the  truth  of 
this  with  candor,  but  with  pain.  She  would 
see  by  this  why  he  was  unable  to  tell  her  any 
thing  about  her  brother.  His  not  knowing 
that  brother  was  now  the  chief  sorrow  of  his 
life.  The  lady  earnestly  hoped  that  Rio  Ja 
neiro  was  well  protected  from  the  savages. 

' '  Oh,  perfectly  so.  The  fortifications  of  that 
city  are  impregnable." 

Dick  thus  endeavored  to  give  the  lady  an 
idea  of  America.  The  conversation  gradually 


tapered  down  until  the  en 
trance  of  a  gentleman  brought 
it  to  a  close.  Dick  bowed 
himself  out. 

"At  any  rate,"  he  mur 
mured,  "if  the  lady  wanted  to 
inspect  me  she  had  a  chance, 
and  if  she  wanted  to  pump 
me  she  ought  to  be  satisfied." 

One  evening  Buttons  and 
Dick  came  in  and  found  a, 
stranger  chatting  familiarly 
with  the  landlord  and  a  young 
hussar.  The  stranger  was 
dressed  like  a  cavalry  officer, 
and  was  the  most  astounding 
fop  that  the  two  Americans 
had  ever  seen.  He  paced  up 
and  down,  head  erect,  chest 
thrown  out,  sabre  clanking, 
spurs  jingling,  eyes  sparkling, 
ineffable  smile.  He  strode  up 
to  the  two  youths,  spun  round 
on  one  heel,  bowed  to  the 
ground,  waved  his  hand  pat 
ronizingly,  and  welcomed 
them  in. 

"A  charming  night,  gallant  gentlemen.  A 
bewitching  night.  All  Naples  is  alive.  All  the 
world  is  going.  Are  you  ?" 

The  young  meii  stared,  and  coldly  asked 
where  ? 

"Ha,  ha,  ha!"     A  merry  peal  of  laughter 
rang  out.     "Absolutely  —  if  the  young  Amer 
icans  are  not  stupid.     They  don't  know  me!" 
"Dolores!"  exclaimed  Buttons. 
"  Yes, "  exclaimed  the  other.     "  How  do  you 
like  me  ?     Am  I  natural  ? — eh  ?  military  ?    Do 
I  look  terrible?" 

And  Dolores  skipped  up  and  down  with  a 
strut  beyond  description,  breathing  hard  and 
frowning. 

"  If  you  look  so  fierce  you  will  frighten  us 
away."  said  Buttons. 

"How  do  I  look  now?"  she  said,  standing 
full  before  him  with  folded  arms,  a  la  Napoleon 
at  St.  Helena. 

"Bellissima!  Bellissima!"  said  Buttons,  in 
unfeigned  admiration. 

"Ah!"    ejaculated   Dolores,  smacking    her 
lips,  and  puffing  out  her  little  dimpled  cheeks. 
"  Oh !"   and  her  eyes   sparkled   more  brightly 
with  perfect  joy  and  self-contentment. 
"And what  is  all  this  for?" 
"  Is  it  possible  that  you  do  not  know?'1 
"  I  have  no  idea." 

"Then  listen.  It  is  at  the  Royal  Opera- 
house.  It  will  be  the  greatest  masquerade  ball 
ever  given." 

"  Oh — a  masquerade  ball ! — and  you  ?" 
"  I  ?     I  go  as  a  handsome  young  officer  to 
break  the  hearts  of  the  ladies,  and  have  such 
rare  sport.     My  brave   cousin,  yonder  gallant 
soldier,  goes  with  me." 

The  brave  cousin,  who  was  a  big,  heavy-bead- 


22 


THE  DODGE  CLUB  ;  OK,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


ed  fellow,  grinned  in  acknowledgment,  but  said 
nothing. 

The  Eoyal  Opera-house  at  Naples  is  the 
largest,  the  grandest,  and  the  most  capacious  in 
the  world.  An  immense  stage,  an  enormous 
pit  all  thrown  into  one  vast  room,  surrounded 
by  innumerable  boxes,  all  rising,  tier  above 
tier — myriads  of  dancers,  myriads  of  masks, 
myriads  of  spectators — so  the  scene  appeared. 
Moreover,  the  Neapolitan  is  a  born  buffoon. 
Nowhere  is  he  so  natural  as  at  a  masquerade. 
The  music,  the  crowd,  the  brilliant  lights,  the 
incessant  motion  are  all  intoxication  to  this  im 
pressible  being. 

The  Senator  lent  the  countenance  of  his 
presence — not  from  curiosity,  but  from  a  benev 
olent  desire  to  keep  his  young  friends  out  of 
trouble.  He  narrowly  escaped  being  prohibited 
from  entering  by  making  an  outrageous  fuss  at 
the  door  about  some  paltry  change.  He  actual 
ly  imagined  that  it  was  possible  to  get  the  right 
change  for  a  large  coin  in  Naples. 

The  multitudes  of  moving  forms  made  the 
new-comers  dizzy.  There  were  all  kinds  of 
fantastic  figures.  Lions  polked  with  sylphs, 
crocodiles  chased  serpents,  giants  walked  arm 
in  arm  with  dwarfs,  elephants  on  two  legs  ran 
nimbly  about,  beating  every  body  with  huge 
probosces  of  inflated  India  rubber.  Pretty  girls 
in  dominos  abounded  ;  every  body  whose  face 
was  visible  was  on  the  broad  -grin.  Air  classes 
were  represented.  The  wealthiest  nobles  en 
tered  into  the  spirit  of  the  scene  with  as  great 


A  PERPLEXED   SENATOR. 


gusto  as  the  humblest  artisan  who  treated  his 
obscure  sweet-heart  with  an  entrance  ticket. 

Our  friends  all  wore  black  dominos,  "just 
for  the  fun  of  the  thing."  Every  body  knew 
that  they  were  English  or  American,  which  is 
just  the  same  ;  for  Englishmen  and  Americans 
are  universally  recognizable  by  the  rigidity  of 
their  muscles. 

A  bevy  of  masked  beauties  were  attracted  bv 
the  colossal  form  of  the  Senator.  To  say  thi.t 
he  was  bewildered  would  express  his  sensations 
but  faintly.  He  was  distracted.  He  looked 
for  Buttons.  Buttons  was  chatting  with  a  little 
domino.  He  turned  to  Dick.  Dick  was  walk 
ing  off  with  a  rhinoceros.  To  Figgs  and  the 
Doctor.  Figgs  and  the  Doctor  were  exchang 
ing  glances  with  a  couple  of  lady  codfishes  and 
trying  to  look  amiable.  The  Senator  gave  a 
sickly  smile. 

"  What'n  thunder'll  I  do  ?"  he  muttered. 
Two  dominos  took  either  arm.     A  third  stood 
smilingly  before  him.     A  fourth  tried  to  appro 
priate  his  left  hand. 

"Will  your  Excellency  dance  with  one  of  us 
at  a  time,"  said  No.  4,  with  a  Tuscan  accent, 
"or  will  you  dance  with  all  of  us  at  once  ?'' 
The  Senator  looked  helplessly  at  her. 
"  He  does  not  know  how,"  said  No  1.     "  He 
has  passed  his  life  among  the  stars." 

"Begone,  irreverent  ones!"  said  No.  3. 
"  This  is  an  American  prince.  He  said  I  should 
be  his  partner." 

"  Boh !  malidetta  !  "  cried  No.  2.  "He  told 
me  the  same  ;  but  he  said  he 
was  a  Milor  Inglese." 

No.  4  thereupon  gave  a  smart 
pull  at  the  Senator's  hand  to 
draw  him  off.  Whereupon  No. 
2  did  the  same.  No.  3  began 
singing  "Come  e  bello!"  and 
No.  1  stood  coaxing  him  to 
"Fly  with  her."  A  crowd 
of  idlers  gathered  grinningly 
around. 

"  My  goodness  !"  groaned 
the  Senator.  "Me!  the — the 
representative  of  a  respectable 
constituency ;  the  elder  of  a 
Presbyterian  church  ;  the  pres 
ident  of  a  temperance  society; 
the  deliverer  of  that  famous 
Fourth  of  July  oration ;  the 
father  of  a  family — me !  to  be 
treated  thus !  Who  air  these 
females  ?  Air  they  countesses  ? 
Is  this  the  way  the  foreign  no 
bility  treat  an  American  cit 
izen  ?" 

But  the  ladies  pulled  and  the 
crowd  grinned.  The  Senator 
endeavored  to  remonstrate. 
Then  he  tried  to  pull  his  arms 
away  ;  but  finding  that  impos 
sible  he  looked  in  a  piteous 
manner,  first  at  one,  and  then 
at  the  other. 


THE  DODGE  CLUB ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


23 


"  He  wants,  I  tell  you,  to  be  my  partner," 
said  No.  1. 

"  Bah  !"  cried  No.  2,  derisively  ;  "  he  intends 
to  be  mine.  I  understand  the  national  dance 
of  his  country — the  famous  jeeg  Irlandese." 

"MRS.!!  !" 

The  Senator  shouted  this  one  word  in  a  sten 
torian  voice.  The  ladies  dropped  his  arms  and 
started. 

"I  say,  Mrs. !"  cried  the  Senator.  "Look 
here.  Me  no  speeky  7-talian — me  American. 
Me  come  just  see  zee  fun,  you  know — zee  spoart 
—you  und-stand  ?  Ha?  Hum  !" 

The  ladies  clapped  their  hands,  and  cried 
"Bravo!" 

Quite  a  crowd  gathered  around  them.  The 
Senator,  impressed  with  the  idea  that,  to  make 
foreigners  understand,  it  was  only  necessary  to 
yell  loud  enough,  bawled  so  loudly  that  ever  so 
many  dangers  stopped.  Among  these  Buttons 


came  near  with  the  little 
Domino.  Little  Dom 
ino  stopped,  laughed, 
clapped  her  hands,  and 
pointed  to  the  Senator. 

The  Senator  was  yell 
ing  vehemently  in  bro 
ken  English  to  a  large 
crowd  of  masks.  He 
told  them  that  he  had  a 
large  family ;  that  he 
owned  a  factory ;  that  he 
was  a  man  of  weight, 
character,  influence,  pop- 
ularity,  wealth  ;  that  he 
came  here  merely  to 
study  their  manners  and 
customs.  He  disclaimed 
any  intention  to  partici 
pate  in  their  amuse 
ments  just  then,  or  to 
make  acquaintances. — 
He  would  be  proud  to 
visit  them  all  at  their 
houses,  or  see  them  at 
his  apartments,  or — or — 
in  short,  would  be  hap 
py  to  do  any  thing  if 
they  would  only  let  him 
go  in  peace. 

The  crowd  laughed, 
chattered,  and  shout 
ed  "Bravo!"  at  ev 
ery  pause.  The  Senator 
was  covered  with  shame 
and  perspiration.  What 
would  have  become  of 
him  finally  it  is  impos 
sible  to  guess  ;  but,  for 
tunately,  at  this  extrem 
ity  he  caught  sight  of 
Buttons.  To  dash  away 
from  the  charming  la 
dies,  to  burst  through  the 
crowd,  and  to  seize  the 
arm  of  Buttons  was  but 
the  work  of  a  moment. 

"Buttons!  Buttons!  Buttons!  Help  me ! 
These  confounded  7-talian  wimmin  !  Take 
them  away.  Tell  them  to  leave  me  be.  Tell 
them  I  don't  know  them — don't  want  to  have 
them  hanging  round  me.  Tell  them  Tm  your 
father .'"  cried  the  Senator,  his  voice  rising  to 
a  shout  in  his  distraction  and  alarm. 

About  970  people  were  around  him  by  this 
time. 

"Goodness!"  said  Buttons;  "you  are  in  a 
fix.  Why  did  you  make  yourself  so  agreeable  ? 
and  to  so  many  ?  Why,  it's  too  bad.  One  at 
a  time  !" 

"Buttons,"  said  the  Senator,  solemnly,  "is 
this  a  time  for  joking?  For  Heaven's  sake  get 
me  away ! " 

"  Come,  then  ;  you  must  run  for  it." 
He  seized  the  Senator's  right  arm.     The  lit 
tle  Domino  clung  to  his  other.     Away  they 


THE  DODGE  CLUB ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


started.  It  was  a  full  run.  A  shout  arose.  So 
arises  the  shout  in  Rome  along  the  bellowing 
Corso  when  the  horses  are  starting  for  the  Car 
nival  races.  It  was  a  long,  loud  shout,  gather 
ing  and  growing  and  deepening  as  it  rose,  till 
it  burst  on  high  in  one  grand  thunder-clap  of 
sound. 

Away  went  the  Senator  like  the  wind.  The 
dense  crowd  parted  on  either  side  with  a  rush. 
The  Opera-house  is  several  hundred  feet  in 
length.  Down  this  entire  distance  the  Senator 
ran,  accompanied  by  Buttons  and  the  little 
Domino.  Crowds  cheered  him  as  he  passed. 
Behind  him  the  passage-way  closed  up,  and  a 
long  trail  of  screaming  maskers  pressed  after 
him.  The  louder  they  shouted  the  faster  the 
Senator  ran.  At  length  they  reached  the  oth 
er  end. 

"Do  you  see  that  box?"  asked  Buttons, 
pointing  to  one  on  the  topmost  tier. 

"Yes,  yes." 

"  Fly  !  Run  for  your  life  !  It's  your  only 
hope.  Get  in  there  and  hide  till  we  go ! " 

The  Senator  vanished.  Scarcely  had  his 
coat-tails  disappeared  through  the  door  when 
the  pursuing  crowd  arrived  there.  Six  thou 
sand  two  hundred  and  twenty-seven  human  be 
ings,  dressed  in  every  variety  of  costume,  on 
finding  that  the  runner  had  vanished,  gave  vent 
to  their  excited  feelings  by  a  loud  cheer  for  the 
interesting  American  who  had  contributed  so 
greatly  to  the  evening's  enjoyment. 

Unlucky  Senator !  Will  it  be  believed  that 
even  in  the  topmost  box  his  pursuers  followed 
him  ?  It  was  even  so.  About  an  hour  after 
ward  Buttons,  on  coming  near  the  entrance, 
encountered  him.  His  face  was  pale  but  reso 
lute,  his  dress  disordered.  He  muttered  a  few 
words  about  "  durned  7-talian  countesses,"  and 
hurried  out. 

Buttons  kept  company  with  the  little  Dom 
ino.  Never  in  his  life  had  he  passed  so  agree 
able  an  evening.  He  took  good  care  to  let  his 
companion  know  this.  At  length  the  crowd 
began  to  separate.  The  Domino  would  go. 
Buttons  would  go  with  her.  Had  she  a  car 
riage  ?  No,  she  walked.  Then  he  would  walk 
with  her. 

Buttons  tried  hard  to  get  a  carriage,  but  all 
were  engaged.  But  a  walk  would  .not  be  un 
pleasant  in  such  company.  The  Domino  did 
not  complain.  She  was  vivacious,  brilliant,  de 
lightful,  bewitching.  Buttons  had  been  trying 
all  the  evening  to  find  out  who  she  was.  In 
vain. 

"  Who  in  the  world  is  she  ?  I  must  find  out, 
so  that  I  may  see  her  again."  This  was  his 
one  thought. 

They  approached  the  Strada  Nuova. 

"  She  is  not  one  of  the  nobility,  at  any  rate," 
he  thought,  "  or  she  would  not  live  here." 

They  turned  up  a  familiar  street. 

"  How  exceedingly  jolly  !  She  can't  live  far 
away  from  my  lodgings." 

They  entered  the  Strada  di  San  Bartolomeo. 

"  Hanged  if  she  don't  live  in  the  same  street !" 


A  strange  thought  occurred.  It  was  soon 
confirmed.  They  stopped  in  front  of  Buttons's 
own  lodgings.  A  light  gleamed  over  the  door. 
Another  flashed  into  the  soul  of  Buttons.  The 
I  Domino  took  off  her  mask  and  turned  her  face 
uptoButtons.  That  face;  dimpled,  smiling,'be- 
witching ;  flashing,  sparkling  eyes ;  little  mouth 
with  its  rosy  lips  ! 

"  Dolores  /" 

' '  Blessed  saints,  and  Holy  Virgin !  Is  it  pos- 
I  sible  that  you  never  suspected  ?" 

"  Never.  How  could  I  when  I  thought  yon 
were  dressed  like  a  dragoon?" 

"And  you  never  passed  so  happy  an  even 
ing  ;  and  you  never  had  so  fascinating  and 
charming  a  partner ;  and  you  never  heard  such 
a  voice  of  music  as  mine ;  and  you  can  never 
forget  me  through  all  life ;  and  you  never  can 
hope  to  find  any  one  equal  to  me  !"  said  Do 
lores,  in  her  usual  laughing  volubility. 

"Never!"  cried  Buttons. 

"  Oh  dear!  I  think  you  must  love  me  very 
much." 

And  a  merry  peal  of  laughter  rang  up  the 
stairs  as  Dolores,  evading  Buttons's  arm,  which 
that  young  man  had  tried  to  pass  about  her 
waist,  dashed  away  into  the  darkness  and  out 
of  sight. 


CHAPTER  VIII. 

ADVENTURES  AND  MISADVENTURES. — A  WET  GROT 
TO  AND  A  BOILING  LAKE.  —  THE  TWO  FAIR 
SPANIARDS,  AND  THE  DONKEY  HIDE. 

THE  Grotto  ofPosilippo  is  a  most  remarkable 
place,  and,  in  the.  opinion  of  every  intelligent 
traveller,  is  more  astonishing  than  even  the  Hoo- 
sac  Tunnel,  which  nobody  will  deny  except  the 
benighted  Bostonian. 

The  city  of  Pozzuoli  is  celebrated  for  two 
things ;  first,  because  St.  Paul  once  landed 
there,  and  no  doubt  hurried  away  as  fast  as  he 
could ;  and,  secondly,  on  account  of  the  im 
mense  number  of  beggars  that  throng  around 
the  unhappy  one  who  enters  its  streets. 

The  Dodge  Club  contributed  liberally.  The 
Doctor  gave  a  cork-screw ;  the  Senator,  a  blade- 
less  knife ;  Dick,  an  old  lottery  ticket ;  Buttons, 
a  candle-stump ;  Mr.  Figgs,  a  wild-cat  bank 
note.  After  which  they  all  hurried  away  on 
donkeys  as  fast  as  possible. 

The  donkey  is  in  his  glory  here.  Nowhere 
else  does  he  develop  such  a  variety  of  forms — 
nowhere  attain  such  an  infinity  of  sizes — nowhere 
emit  so  impressive  a  bray.  It  is  the  Bray  of 
Naples.  "It  is  like  the  thunder  of  the  night 
when  the  cloud  bursts  o'er  Cona,  and  a  thou 
sand  ghosts  shriek  at  once  in  the  hollow  wind." 

There  is  a  locality  in  this  region  which  the 
ancients  named  after  a  certain  warm  region 
which  no  refined  person  ever  permits  himself  to 
mention  in  our  day.  Whatever  it  may  have 
been  when  some  Roman  Tityrus  walked  pipe  in 
mouth  along  its  shore,  its  present  condition 
renders  its  name  singularly  appropriate  and 
felicitous.  Here  the  party  amused  themselves 


THE  DODGE  CLUB ;  OK,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


25 


with  a  lunch  of  figs  and  oranges,  which  they 
gathered  indiscriminately  from  orchards  and 
gardens  on  the  road-side. 

There  was  the  Lake  Lucrine.  Averno  and 
the  Elysian  Fields  were  there.  The  ruins  of 
Caligula's  Bridge  dotted  the  surface  of  the  sea. 
Yet  the  charms  of  all  these  classic  scenes  were 
eclipsed  in  the  tourists'  eyes  by  those  of  a  num 
ber  of  pretty  peasants  girls  who  stood  washing 
clothes  in  the  limpid  waters  of  the  lake. 

It  was  in  this  neighborhood  that  they  found 
the  Grotto  of  the  Cumcean  Sibyl.  They  follow 
ed  the  intelligent  cicerone,  armed  with  torches, 
into  a  gloomy  tunnel.  The  intelligent  cicerone 
walked  before  them  with  the  air  of  one  who  had 
something  to  show.  Seven  stout  peasants  fol 
lowed  after.  The  cavern  was  as  dark  as  possi 
ble,  and  extended  apparently  for  an  endless  dis 
tance. 

After  walking  a  distance  of  about  two  miles, 
according  to  the  Senator's  calculation,  they  came 
to  the  centre  of  interest.  It  was  a  hole  in  the 
wall  of  the  tunnel.  The  Americans  were  given 
to  understand  that  they  must  enter  here. 

"But  how?" 


latter  looked  as  anxious  as  his  trembling  bear 
er. 

"Darn  it!  I  say,  "he  cried.  "Darnit!  Don't! 
Don't!" 

"  Diavo-lo!"  muttered  the  Italian. 

And  in  the  next  instant  plump  went  the  Sen 
ator  into  the  water.  A  scene  then  followed 
that  baffles  description.  The  Senator,  rising 
from  his  unexpected  bath,  foaming  and  sputter 
ing,  the  Italian  praying  for  forgiveness,  the 
loud  voices  of  all  the  others  shouting,  calling, 
and  laughing. 

The  end  of  it  was  that  they  all  left  as  soon  as 
possible,  and  the  Senator  indignantly  waded 
back  through  the  water  himself.  A  furious  row 
with  the  unfortunate  bearer,  whom  the  Senator 
refused  to  pay,  formed  a  beautifully  appropriate 
termination  to  their  visit  to  this  classic  spot. 
The  Senator  was  so  disturbed  by  this  misad 
venture  that  his  wrath  did  not  subside  until  his 
trowsers  were  thoroughly  dried.  This,  how 
ever,  was  accomplished  at  last,  under  the  warm 
sun,  and  then  he  looked  around  him  with  his 
usual  complacency. 

The  next  spot  of  interest  which  attracted 


"How?     Why,  on  the  broad  backs  of  the  j  them  was  the  Hall  of  the  Subterranean  Lake. 

In  this  place  there  is  a  cavern  in  the  centre  of 
a  hill,  which  is  approached  by  a  passage  of  some 
considerable  length,  and  in  the  subterranean 
cavern  a  pool  of  water  boils  and  bubbles.  The 
usual  crowd  of  obliging  peasantry  surrounded 
them  as  they  entered  the  vestibule  of  this  inter 
esting  place.  It  was  a  dingy-looking  chamber, 
out  of  which  two  narrow  subterranean  passages 
ran.  A  grimy,  sooty,  blackened  figure  stood 
before  them  with  torches. 


stout  peasants,  who  all  stood  politely  offering 
their  humble  services."  The  guide  went  first. 
Buttons,  without  more  ado,  got  on  the  back  of 
the  nearest  Italian  and  followed.  Dick  came 
next ;  then  the  Doctor.  Mr.  Figgs  and  the 
Senator  followed  in  the  same  dignified  manner. 

Tlfey  descended  for  some  distance,  and  finally 
came  to  water  about  three  feet  deep.     As  the 
roof  was  low,  and  only  rose  three  feet  above  the 
water,  the  party  had  some  difficulty,  not  only  in 
keeping  their  feet  out  of  the  water, 
but  also  in  breathing.     At  length  they 
came  to  a  chamber  about  twelve  feet 
square.     From  this  they  passed  on  to 
another  of  the  same  size.     Thence  to 
another.     And  so  on. 

Arriving  at  the  last,  Bearer  No.  1 
quietly  deposited  Buttons  on  a  raised 
stone  platform,  which  fortunately 
arose  about  half  an  inch  above  the 
water.  Three  other  bearers  did  the 
same.  Mr.  Figgs  looked  forlornly 
about  him,  and,  being  a  fat  man, 
seemed  to  grow  somewhat  apoplectic. 
Dick  beguiled  the  time  by  lighting  his 
pipe. 

"  So  this  is  the  Grotto  of  the  Gu 
nman  Sibyl,  is  it  ?"  said  Buttons. 
"Then  all  I  can  say  is  that — " 

What  he  was  going  to  say  was  lost 
by  a  loud  cry  which  interrupted  him 
and  startled  all.  It  came  from  the 
other  chamber. 

"The  Senator  !"  said  Dick. 

It  was  indeed  his  well-known  voice. 
There  was  a  plash  and  a  groan.  Im 
mediately  afterward  a  man  staggered 
into  the  room.  He  was  deathly  pale, 
and  tottered  feebly  under  the  tremen 
dous  weight  of  the  Senator.  The 


DAltN    IT!— DOS'T. 


26 


THE  DODGE  CLUB ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


"Follow!" 

This  was  all  that  he  condescended  to 
say,  after  lighting  his  torches  and  dis 
tributing  them  to  his  visitors.  He 
stalked  off,  and  stooping  down,  darted 
into  the  low  passage-way.  The  cicerone 
followed,  then  Buttons,  then  Dick,  then 
the  Senator,  then  the  Doctor,  then  Mr. 
Figgs.  The  air  was  intensely  hot,  and 
the  passage-way  grew  lower.  More 
over,  the  smoke  from  the  torches  filled 
the  air,  blinding  and  choking  them. 

Mr.  Figgs  faltered.  Fat,  and  not  by 
any  means  nimble,  he  came  to  a  pause 
about  twenty  feet  from  the  entrance, 
and,  making  a  sudden  turn,  darted  out. 

The  Doctor  was  tall  and  unaccustom 
ed  to  bend  his  perpendicular  form. 
Half  choked  and  panting  heavily  lie  too 
gave  up,  and  turning  about  rushed  out 
after  Mr.  Figgs. 

The  other  three  went  on  bravely. 
Buttons  and  Dick,  because  they  had 
long  since  made  up  their  minds  to  see 
every  thrng  that  presented  itself,  and 
the  Senator,  because  when  he  started  on 
an  enterprise  he  was  incapable  of  turn 
ing  back. 

After  a  time  the  passage  went  sloping 
steeply  down.  At  the  bottom  of  the 
declivity  was  a  pond  of  water  bubbling 
and  steaming.  Down  this  they  ran. 
Now  the  slope  was  extremely  slippery, 
and  the  subterranean  chamber  was  but 
faintly  illuminated  by  the  torches.  And 
so  it  came  to  pass  that,  as  the  Senator 
ran  down  after  the  others,  they  had 
barely  reached  the  bottom  when 
Thump  ! 

At  once  all  turned  round  with  a  start. 
Not  too  quickly ;  for  there  lay  the  Senator,  on  his 
back,  sliding,  in  an  oblique  direction,  straight 
toward  the  pool.  His  booted  feet  were  already 
in  the  seething  waves ;  his  nails  were  dug  into 
the  slippery  soil ;  he  was  shouting  for  help. 

To  grasp  his  hand,  his  collar,  his  leg — to  jerk 
him  away  and  place  him  upright,  was  the  work 
of  a  shorter  time  than  is  taken  to  tell  it. 

The  guide  now  wanted  them  to  wait  till  he 
boiled  an  egg.  The  Senator  remonstrated,  stat 
ing  that  he  had  already  nearly  boiled  a  leg. 
The  Senator's  opposition  overpowered  the  wishes 
of  the  others,  and  the  party  proceeded  to  return. 
Pale,  grimy  with  soot,  panting,  covered  with 
huge  drops  of  perspiration,  they  burst  into  the 
chamber  where  the  others  were  waiting — first 
Buttons,  then  Dick,  then  the  Senator  covered 
with  mud  and  slime. 

The  latter  gentleman  did  not  answer  much  to 
the  eager  inquiries  of  his  friends,  but  maintained 
a  solemn  silence.  The  two  former  loudly  and 
volubly  descanted  on  the  accumulated  horrors 
of  the  subterranean  way,  the  narrow  passage, 
the  sulphurous  air,  the  lake  of  boiling  floods. 

In  this  outer  chamber  their  attention  was  di 
rected  to  a  number  of  ancient  relics.  These 


•rim  MP  1 

are  offered  for  sale  in  such  abundance  that  they 
may  be  considered  staple  articles  of  commerce 
in  this  country. 

So  skillful  are  the  manufacturers  that  they  can 
produce  unlimited  supplies  of  the  following  arti 
cles,  and  many  others  too  numerous  to  mention : 

Cumrean  and  Oscan  coins ; 
J'itto     and   ditto  statuettes; 
Ditto     and  ditto  rings  ; 
Ditto     and   ditto  bracelets  ; 
Ditto     and   ditto  iina-_rc- : 
Ditto     and  ditto  toilet  articles; 
Ditto     and   ditto  vases  ; 
Ditto     and   ditto  fia-ks; 
Relic?  of  Partlieuope ; 
Diito  of  Bnise  ; 
Ditto  of  Misenum  ; 
Ditto  of  Pivstum  ; 
Ditto  of  Herculaueum; 
Ditto  of  Pompeii; 
Ditto  of  Caprsva  ; 
Ditto  .of  Capua; 
Ditto  of  Cumae — 

And  other  places  too  numerous  to  mention ; 
all  supplied  to  order ;  all  of  which  are  eaten  by 
rust,  and  warranted  to  be  covered  by  the  canker 
and  the  mould  of  antiquity. 

The  good  guide  earnestly  pressed  some  inter 
esting  relics  upon  their  attention,  but  without 
marked  success.  And  now,  as  the  hour  of  din- 


THE  DODGE  CLUB  ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


27 


ner  approached,  they  made 
the  best  of  their  way  to  a 
neighboring  inn,  which  com 
manded  a  fine  view  of  the 
bay.  Emerging  from  the 
chamber  the  guide  followed 
them,  offering  his  wares. 

"Tell  me,"  he  cried,  in  a 
sonorous  voice,  "  oh  most  no 
ble  Americans  !  how  much 
will  you  give  for  this  most 
ancient  vase  ?" 

"  Un'  mezzo  carlino,"  said 
Dick. 

"  Un'  mezzo  carlino!  !  !" 

The  man's  hand,  which  had 
been  uplifted  to  display  the 
vase,  fell  downward  as  he  said 
this.  His  tall  figure  grew  less 
and  less  distinct  as  they  went 
further  away  ;  but  long  after 
he  was  out  of  sight  the  phan 
tom  of  his  reproachful  face 
haunted  their  minds. 

After  dinner  they  went  out 
on  the  piazza  in  front  of  the 
hotel.  Two  Spanish  ladies 
were  there,  whose  dark  eyes 
produced  an  instantaneous  effect  upon  the  im 
pressible  heart  of  Buttons. 

They  sat  side  by  side,  leaning  against  the  stone 
balustrade.  They  were  smoking  cigarettes, 
and  the  effect  produced  by  waving  their  pretty 
hands  as  they  took  the  cigarettes  from  their 
mouths  was,  to  say  the  least,  bewildering. 

Buttons  awaited  his  opportunity,  and  did  not 
have  to  wait  long.  Whether  it  was  that  they  were 
willing  to  give  the  young  American  a  chance,  or 
whether  it  was  really  unavoidable,  can  not  be 
said,  but  certainly  one  of  the  fair  Spaniards 
found  that  her  cigarette  had  gone  out.  A  pret 
ty  look  of  despair,  and  an  equally  pretty  gesture 
or  vexation,  showed  at  once  the  state  of  things. 
Upon  which  Buttons  stepped  up,  and  with  a  bow 
that  would  have  done  honor  to  Chesterfield,  pro 
duced  a  box  of  scented  allumettes,  and  lighting 
one,  gravely  held  it  forward.  The  fair  Spaniard 
smiled  bewitchingly,  and  bending  forward  with 
out  hesitation  to  light  her  cigarette,  brought  her 
rosy  lips  into  bewildering  proximity  to  Buttons's 
hand. 

It  was  a  trying  moment. 

The  amiable  expression  of  the  ladies'  faces, 
combined  with  the  softly-spoken  thanks  of  the 
lady  whom  Buttons  first  addressed,  encouraged 
him.  The  consequence  was,  that  in  about  five 
minutes  more  he  was  occupying  a  seat  opposite 
them,  chatting  as  familiarly  as  though  he  were 
an  old  playmate.  Dick  looked  on  with  admira 
tion  ;  the  others  with  envy. 

"How  in  the  world  does  it  happen,"  asked 
the  Senator,  "  that  Buttons  knows  the  lingo  of 
every  body  he  meets  ?" 

"He  can't  help  it,"  said  Dick.  "These 
Continental  languages  are  all  alike ;  know  one, 
and  you've  got  the  key  to  the  others  —  that 


A  TRYING  MOMENT. 

is  with  French,  Italian,  Spanish,  and  Portu 
guese." 

"And  look  at  him  now!"  cried  the  Senator, 
his  eye  beaming  with  cordial  admiration. 

"  You  may  well  look  at  him !"  sighed  Dick. 
"  Two  such  pretty  girls  as  these  won't  turn  up 
again  in  a  hurry.  Spaniards  too  ;  I  always  ad 
mired  them."  And  he  walked  down  to  the 
shore  humming  to  himself  something  about 
"the  girls  of  Cadiz." 

The  ladies  informed  Buttons  that  they  were 
travelling  with  their  brother,  and  had  been 
through  Russia,  Germany,  England,  France, 
and  were  now  traversing  Italy ;  did  not  like  the 
three  first-mentioned  countries,  but  were  charm 
ed  with  Italy. 

Their  naivete  was  delightful.  Buttons  found 
out  that  the  name  of  one  was  Lucia,  and  the 
other  Ida.  For  the  life  of  him  he  did  not  know 
which  he  admired  most ;  but,  on  the  whole,  rath 
er  inclined  to  the  one  to  whom  he  had  offered 
the  light — Ida. 

He  was  equally  frank,  and  let  them  know 
his  name,  his  country,  his  creed.  They  were 
shocked  at  his  creed,  pleased  with  his  country, 
and  amused  at  his  name,  which  they  pro 
nounced,  "  Seilor  Bo-to-nes." 

After  about  an  hour  their  brother  came.  He 
was  a  small  man,  very  active,  and  full  of  vivac 
ity.  Instead  of  looking  fiercely  at  the  stran 
ger,  he  shook  hands  with  him  very  cordially. 
Before  doing  this,  however,  he  took  one  short, 
quick  survey  of  his  entire  person,  from  his  felt 
hat  down  to  his  Congress  boots.  The  conse 
quence  was  that  Buttons  deserted  his  compan 
ions,  and  went  off  with  the  ladies. 

Dick  took  the  lead  of  the  party  on  the  return 
home.  They  viewed  the  conduct  of  Buttons 


28 


THE  DODGE  CLUB ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


SENATOB  AND   DONKEY. 


with  displeasure.  The  Senator  did  not  show 
his  usual  serenity. 

The  party  were  all  riding  on  donkeys.  To 
do  this  on  the  minute  animals  which  the  Nea 
politans  furnish  it  is  necessary  to  seat  one's  self 
on  the  stern  of  the  animal,  and  draw  the  legs 
well  up,  so  that  they  may  not  trail  on  the  ground. 
The  appearance  of  the  rider  from  behind  is  that 
of  a  Satyr  dressed  in  the  fashion  of  the  nine 
teenth  century.  Nothing  can  be  more  ridicu 
lous  than  the  sight  of  a  figure  dressed  in  a  frock- 
coat  and  beaver  hat,  and  terminated  by  the  legs 
and  tail  of  a  donkey. 

As  it  was  getting  late  the  party  hurried.  The 
donkeys  were  put  on  the  full  gallop.  First  rode 
the  guide,  then  the  others,  last  of  whom  was  the 
Senator,  whose  great  weight  was  a  sore  trial  to 
the  little  donkey. 

They  neared  Pozzuoli,  when  suddenly  the 
Senator  gave  his  little  beast  a  smart  whack  to 
hasten  his  steps.  The  donkey  lost  all  patience. 
With  a  jump  he  leaped  forward.  Away  he 
went,  far  ahead  of  the  others.  The  saddle, 
whose  girth  was  rather  old,  slipped  off.  The 
Senator  held  on  tightly.  In  vain !  Just  as  he 
rounded  a  corner  formed  by  a  projecting  sand 
bank  the  donkey  slipped.  Down  went  the  rider  ; 
down  went  the  donkey  also — rider  and  beast 
floundering  in  the  dusty  road. 

A  merry  peal  of  ill-suppressed  laughter  came 
from  the  road-side  as  he  rolled  into  view.  It 
came  from  a  carriage.  In  the  carriage  were  the 
Spaniards — there,  too,  was  Buttons. 


CHAPTER  IX. 

A  DRIVE  INTO  THE  COUNTRY. — A  FIGHT  WITH  A 
VETTURINO. — THE  EFFECT  OF  EATING  "HARD 
BOILED  EGGS." — WHAT  THEY  SAW  AT  PJESTUM. 
— FIVE  TEMPLES  AND  ONE  "MILL." 

To  hire  a  carriage  in  Naples  for  any  length 
of  time  is  by  no  means  an  easy  thing.  It  is 
necessary  to  hold  long  commune  with  the.  pro 
prietor,  to  exert  all  the  wiles  of  masterly  diplo 
macy,  to  circumvent  cunning  by  cunning,  to  ex 
ert  patience,  skill,  and  eloquence.  After  a  de 
cision  has  been  reached,  there  is  but  one  way  in 
which  you  can  hold  your  vetturino  to  his  bar 
gain,  and  that  is  to  bind  him  to  it  by  securin 
his  name  to  a  contract.  Every  vetturino  ha 
printed  form  all  ready.  If  he  can't  write 
name,  he  does  something  equally  binding  and 
far  simpler.  He  dips  his  thumb  in  the  ink-bot 
tle  and  stamps  it  on  the  paper.  If  that  is  not 
his  signature,  what  else  is  it  ? 

"Thus,"  said  one,  "  Signer  Adam  signed  the 
marriage-contract  with  Signora  Eva." 

After  incredible  difficulties  a  contract  had 
been  drawn  up  and  signed  by  the  horny  thumb 
of  a  certain  big  vetturino,  who  went  by  the 
name  of  "  II  Piccolo."  It  was  to  the  effect  that, 
for  a  certain  specified  sum,  II  Piccolo  should 
take  the  party  to  Psestum  and  back,  with  a  de 
tour  to  Sorrento. 

It  was  a  most  delightful  morning.  All  were 
in  the  best  of  spirits.  So  they  started.  On 
for  miles  through  interminable  streets  of  houses 
that  bordered  the  circular  shore,  through  crowds 
of  sheep,  droves  of  cattle,  dense  masses  of  hu 
man  beings,  through  which  innumerable  ca- 
leches  darted  like  meteors  amid  the  stars  of 
heaven.  Here  came  the  oxen  of  Southern  Italy, 
stately,  solemn,  long-horned,  cream-colored ; 
there  marched  great  droves  of  Sorrento  hogs — • 


THE  DODGE  CLUB  ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


29 


the  hog  of  hogs — a  strange  but  not  ill-favored 
animal,  thick  in  hide,  leaden  in  color,  hairless 
as  a  hippopotamus.  The  flesh  of  the  Sorrento 
.hog  bears  the  same  relation  to  common  pork 
that  "Lubin's  Extrait"  bears  to  the  coarse 
scent  of  a  country  grocery.  A  pork-chop  from 
the  Sorrento  animal  comes  to  the  palate  with 
the  force  of  a  new  revelation  ;  it  is  the  highest 
possibility  of  pork — the  apotheosis  of  the  pig ! 
Long  lines  of  macaroni-cooks  doing  an  enor 
mous  business ;  armies  of  dealers  in  anisette ; 
crowds  of  water-carriers  ;  throngs  of  fishermen, 
carrying  nets  and  singing  merry  songs — "Ecco 
mi !"  "  Ecco  la!" — possible  Massaniellos  every 
man  of  them,  I  assure  you,  Sir.  And — envel 
oping  all,  mingling  with  all,  jostling  all,  busy 
with  the  busiest,  idle  with  the  idlest,  noisy  with 
the  noisest,  jolly  with  the  jolliest,  the  fat,  oily, 
swarthy,  rosy — (etc.,  for  further  epithets  see 
preceding  pages) — Lazuroni ! 

Every  moment  produces  new  effects  in  the 
ever-shifting  scenes  of  Naples.  Here  is  the  re 
verse  of  monotony  ;  if  any  thing  becomes  weari 
some,  it  is  the  variety.  Here  is  the  monotony 
of  incessant  change.  The  whole  city,  with  all 
its  vast  suburbs,  lives  on  the  streets. 

The  Senator  wiped  his  fevered  brow.  He 
thought  that  for  crowds,  noise,  tumult,  dash, 
hurry  -  skurry,  gayety,  life,  laughter,  joyance, 
and  all  that  incites  to  mirth,  and  all  that  stirs 
the  soul,  even  New  York  couldn't  hold  a  candle 
to  Naples. 

Kmbelais  ought  to  have  been  a  Neapolitan. 

Then,  as  the  city  gradually  faded  into  the 
country,  the  winding  road  opened  up  before 
them  with  avenues  of  majestic  trees — overhang 
ing,  arching  midway— forming  long  aisles  of 
shade.  Myrtles,  that  grew  up  into  trees,  scent 
ed  the  air.  Interminable  groves  of  figs  and 
oranges  spread  away  up  the  hill,  intermingled 
with  the  darker  foliage  of  the  olive  or  cypress. 

The  mountains  come  lovingly  down  to  bathe 
their  feet  in  the  sea.  The  road  winds  among 
them.  There  is  a  deep  valley  around  which 
rise  lofty  hills  topped  with  white  villages  or 
ancient  towers,  or  dotted  with  villas  which  peep 
forth  from  amid  dense  groves.  As  far  as  the 
eye  can  reach  the  vineyards  spread  away. 
Not  as  in  France  or  Germany,  miserable  sandy 
fields  with  naked  poles  or  stunted  bushes;  but 
vast  extents  of  trees,  among  which  the  vines 
'leap  in  wild  luxuriance,  hanging  in  long  fes 
toons  from  branch  to  branch,  or  intertwining 
with  the  foliage. 

"  I  don't  know  how  it  is,"  said  the  Senator, 
"  but  I'm  cussed  if  I  feel  as  if  this  here  country 
was  ground  into  the  dust.  If  it  is,  it  is  no  bad 
thing  to  go  through  the  mill.  I  don't  much 
wonder  that  these  /talians  don't  emigrate.  If 
I  owned  a  farm  in  this  neighborhood  I'd  stand 
a  good  deal  of  squeezin'  before  I'd  sell  out  and 
go  anywheres  else." 

At  evening  they  reached  Salerno,  a  watering- 
place  on  the  sea-coast,  and  Naples  in  miniature. 

There  is  no  town  in  Italy  without  its  opera- 
house  or  theatre,  and  among  the  most  vivid  and 


most  precious  of  scenic  delights  the  pantomime 
commends  itself  to  the  Italian  bosom.  Of 
course  there  was  a  pantomime  at  Salerno.  It 
was  a  mite  of  a  house ;  on  a  rough  calculation 
thirty  feet  by  twenty  ;  a  double  tier  of  boxes  ; 
a  parquette  about  twelve  feet  square ;  and  a 
stage  of  about  two-thirds  that  size. 

Yet  behold  what  the  ingenuity  of  man  can 
accomplish!  On  that  stage  there  were  per 
formed  all  the  usual  exhibitions  of  human  pas 
sion, 'and  they  even  went  into  the  production 
of  great  scenic  displays,  among  which  a  great 
storm  in  the  forest  was  most  prominent. 

Polichinello  was  in  his  glory  !  On  this  occa 
sion  the  joke  of  the  evening  was  an  English 
traveller.  The  ideal  Englishman  on  the  Con 
tinent  is  a  never-failing  source  of  merriment. 
i  The  presence  of  five  Americans  gave  addi 
tional  piquancy  to  the  show.  The  corpulent, 
|  double-chinned,  red-nosed  Englishman,  with 
knee-breeches,  shoe-buckles,  and  absurd  coat, 
stamped,  swore,  frowned,  doubled  up  his  fists, 
knocked  down  waiters,  scattered  gold  right  and 
left,  was  arrested,  was  tried,  was  fined  ;  but 
came  forth  untcrrified  from  every  persecution, 
:  to  rave,  to  storm,  to  fight,  to  lavish  money  as 
'  before. 

How  vivid  were  the  flashes  of  lightning  pro- 
1  duced  by  touching  off  some  cotton-wool  soaked 
in  alcohol !  How  terrific  the  peals  of  thunder 
produced  by  the  vibrations  of  a  piece  of  sheet- 
iron  !  Whatever  was  deficient  in  mechanical 
apparatus  was  readily  supplied  by  the  powerful 
imagination  of  the  Italians,  who,  though  they 
had  often  seen  all  this  before,  were  not  at  all 
weary  of  looking  at  it,  but  enjoyed  the  thou 
sandth  repetition  as  much  as  the  first. 

Those  merry  Italians ! 

There  is  an  old,  old  game  played  by  every 
vetturino. 

When  our  travellers  had  returned  to  the  ho 
tel,  and  were  enjoying  themselves  in  general 
conversation,  the  vetturino  bowed  himself  in. 
He  was  a  good  deal  exercised  in  his  mind. 
With  a  great  preamble  he  came  to  the  point : 
As  they  intended  to  start  early  in  the  morning, 
he  supposed  they  would  not  object  to  settle  their 
little  bill  now. 

•"  What!"  shouted  Buttons,  jumping  up. 
"  What  bill?  Settle  a  bill?  We  settle  a  bill  ? 
Are  you  mad  ?" 

"  Your  excellencies  intend  to  settle  the  bill, 
of  course,"  said  the  vetturino,  with  much 
|  phlegm. 

"  Our  excellencies  never  dreamed  of  any 
such  thing." 

"  Not  pay  ?     Ha  !  ha  !     You  jest,  Signer." 

"Do  yon  see  this?"  said  Buttons,  solemnly 
producing  the  contract. 

"  Well  ?"  responded  II  Piccolo. 

"  What  is  this  ?" 

"  Our  contract." 

"  Do  you  know  what  it  is  that  you  have  en 
gaged  to  do?" 

"To  take  you  to  Pnsstum." 

"Yes;  to  Paestum  and  back,  with  a  detour 


30 


THE  DODGE  CLUB ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


to  Sorrento.  Moreover,  you  engage  to  supply 
us  with  three  meals  a  day  and  lodgings,  for 
all  of  which  we  engage  to  pay  a  certain  sum. 
What,  then,"  cried  Buttons,  elevating  his  voice, 
"  in  the  name  of  all  the  blessed  saints  and  apos 
tles,  do  vou  mean  by  coming  to  us  about  hotel 
bills?" 

"  Signer,"  said  the  vetturino,  meekly,  "when 
I  made  that  contract  I  fear  I  was  too  sanguine." 

"Too  sanguine !" 

"And  I  have  changed  my  mind  since." 

"Indeed?" 

"  I  h'nd  that  I  am  a  poor  man." 

"Did  you  just  find  that  out?" 

"  And  that  if  I  carry  out  this  it  will  ruin 
me." 

"Well?" 

"  So  you'll  have  to  pay  for  the  hotel  expenses 
yourselves,"  said  II  Piccolo,  with  desperation. 

"I  will  forgive  this  insufferable  insolence," 
said  Buttons,  majestically,  "  on  condition  that 
it  never  occurs  again.  Do  you  see  that  ?"  he 
cried,  in  louder  tones. 

And  he  unfolded  the  contract,  which  he  had 
been  holding  in  his  hand,  and  sternly  pointed 
to  the  big  blotch  of  ink  that  was  supposed  to 
be  II  Piccolo's  signature. 

" Do  you  see  that?"  he  cried,  in  a  voice  of 
thunder. 

The  Italian  did  not  speak. 

"And  that?"  he  cried,  pointing  to  the  sig 
nature  of  the  witness. 

The  Italian  opened  his  mouth  to  speak,  but 
was  evidently  nonplused. 

"You  are  in  my  power!"  said  Buttons,  in  a 


"nO  YOU   bEE 


fine  melodramatic  tone,  and  with  a  vivacity  of 
gesture  that  was  not  without  its  effect  on  the 
Italian.  He  folded  the  contract,  replaced  it  in 
his  breast-pocket,  and  slapped  it  with  fearful 
emphasis.  Every  slap  seemed  to  go  to  the 
heart  of  II  Piccolo. 

' '  If  you  dare  to  try  to  back  out  of  this  agree 
ment  I'll  have  you  up  before  the  police.  I'll 
enforce  the  awful  penalty  that  punishes  the 
non-performance  of  a  solemn  engagement.  I'll 
have  you  arrested  by  the  Royal  Guards  in  the 
name  of  His  Majesty  the  King,  and  cause  you 
to  be  incarcerated  in  the  lowest  dungeons  of 
St.  Elmo.  Besides,  I  won't  pay  you  for  the 
ride  thus  far." 

With  this  last  remark  Buttons  walked  to  the 
door,  and  without  another  word  opened  it,  and 
motioned  to  II  Piccolo  to  leave.  The  vetturino 
departed  in  silence. 

On  the  following  morning  he  made  his  ap 
pearance  as  pleasant  as  though  nothing  had 
happened. 

The  carriage  rolled  away  from  Salerno. 
Broad  fields  stretched  away  on  every  side. 
Troops  of  villagers  marched  forth  to  their  la 
bor.  As  they  went  on  they  saw  women  work 
ing  in  the  fields,  and  men  lolling  on  the  fences. 

"Do  you  call  that  the  stuff  for  a  free  coun 
try  ?"  cried  the  Senator,  whose  whole  soul  rose 
up  in  arms  against  such  a  sight.  "  Air  these 
things  men  ?  or  can  such  slaves  as  these  wom 
en  seem  to  be  give  birth  to  any  thing  but 
slaves  ?" 

"  Bravo  !"  cried  Buttons. 

The  Senator  was  too  indignant  to  say  more, 
and  so  fell  into  a  fit  of  musing. 

"Dick,"  said  Buttons,  after  a  long  pause, 
"  you  are  as  pale  as  a  ghost.  I  lielieve  you 
must  be  beginning  to  feel  the  miasma  from 
these  plains." 

"  Oh  no,"  said  Dick,  dolefully ;  "  something 
worse." 

"What's  the  matter?" 

' '  Do  you  remember  the  eggs  we  had  for  din 
ner  last  evening  ?" 

"Yes." 

"  That's  what's  the  matter,"  said  Dick,  with 
a  groan.  "  I  can't  explain  ;  but  this,  perhaps, 
will  tell  thee  all  I  feel." 

He  took  from  his  pocket  a  paper  and  handed 
it  to  Buttons.  Around  the  margin  were  drawn 
etchings  of  countless  fantastic  figures,  illustrat 
ing  the  following  lines : 

A  NIGHTMARE. 

"  Gorgons,  and  hydras,  mid  chimeras  dire.'" 
BY  A  VICTIM. 

Egss!    Kggs!!    Eggs!!! 

Hard  boiled  eggs  for  tea! 
And  oh !  the  horrible  nightmare  dream 

They  brought  to  luckless  me! 
The  hippopotamus  came ; 

He  sat  upon  my  chest: 
The  hippopotamus  roared  "  I'll  spot  him  1"  as 

He  trampled  upon  my  bivast. 

The  big  iguanodon  hunched 

And  rooted  in  under  me: 
The  big  iguanodnn  raised  by  thnt  pan  o'  done 

Overdone  eggs  for  tea. 


THE  DODGE  CLUB  ;  OK,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


The  ichthyosaurus  tried 

To  roll  me  up  in  a  ball ; 
While  all  the   three  were  grinning  at  me, 

And  pounding  me,  bed  and  alL 

Hip  !  hip!  hurrah  ! 

It  was  a  little  black  pig, 
And  a  big  bull-frog,  and  a  bobtailed  dog — 

All  of  them  dancing  a  jig. 

And  oh,  the  snakes !  the  snakes  ! 

And  the  boa  constrictor  too! 
.And  the  cobra  capello — a  terrible  fellow — 

Carde  to  my  horrified  view. 

Snakes  and  horrible  beasts, 

Frog,  pig,  and  dog 
Hustled  me,  pushed  me,  tickled  me,  crushed  me, 

Kolled  me  about  like  a  log. 

The  little  blue  devils  came  on  ; 

They  rode  on  a  needle's  point ; 
Ami  the  big  giraffe,  with  asthmatic  laugh, 

And  legs  all  out  of  joint. 
Bats  crawled  into  my  ear?, 

Hopping  about  in  my  brain  ; 
And  grizzly  hears  rode  up  on  mares, 

And  then  rode  down  again. 

An  antediluvian  roared, 

In  the  form  of  a  Brahmin  bull ; 
And  a  Patagonian  squeezed  an  onion, 

Filling  my  aching  eyes  full. 

The  three  blue  bottles  that  sat 

Upon  the  historical  stones 
San-4,  "  Hey  diddle  diddle  " — two  on  a,  fiddle, 

The  other  one  on  the  bones. 

"Whoo!  whoo  !  whoo! 

Get  up,  g>'t  up,  you  beauty! 
Here  come  the  shaved  monkeys,  a-riding  on  don 
keys, 
Fresh  from  Bobberty  Shooty." 

They  raised  me  up  in  the  air, 

Bed,  body,  and  all, 
And  carried  me  soon  to  the  man  in  the  moon, 

At  the  siege  of  Sebastopol. 

Down,  down,  down, 

Hound,  round,  round, 
A  whirlpool  hurled  me  out  of  the  world, 

And  oh,  no  bottom  I  found. 

Down,  down,  down, 

Whirl,  whirl,  whirl, 
And  the  Florentine  boar  was  pacing  the  shore, 

His  tail  nil  out  of  curl.    '. 

He  smoked  my  favorite  pipe, 

JHe  blew  a  cloud  of  smoke, 
He  pulled  me  out  with  his  porci  le  snout, 
And  hugging  him,  I  awoke. 

"  Why,  Dick,"  cried  the  Senator,  "  what  pre 
cious  nonsense !" 

"  It  was  intended  to  be  so,"  said  Dick. 

"  Well,  but  you  might  as  well  put  on  an  idee. 
It  must  have  some  meaning.'' 

"  Not  a  bit  of  it.  It  has  no  meaning  ;  that 
is,  no  more  than  a  dream  or  a  nightmare." 

The  Senator  now  began  to  discuss  the  nature 
of  poetry,  but  was  suddenly  interrupted  by  a 
shout — 

"  The  Temples !" 

The  country  about  Psestum  is  one  of  the  most 
beautiful  in  the  world.  Between  the  mountains 
and  the  sea  lies  a  luxuriant  plain,  and  in  the 
middle  of  it  is  the  ruined  city.  The  outlines  of 
walls  and  remnants  of  gates  are  there.  Above 
all  rise  five  ancient  edifices.  They  strolled  care 
lessly  around.  The  marble  floors  of  a  good 
many  private  houses  are  yet  visible,  but  the 
stupendous  temples  are  the  chief  attractions 
here;  above  all,  the  majestic  shrine  of  Neptune. 

It  was  while  standing  with  head  thrown  back, 
eyes  and  mouth  opened  wide,  and  thoughts  all 
C 


taken  up  with  a  deep  calculation,  that  the  Sena 
tor  was  startled  by  a  sudden  noise. 

Turning  hastily  he  saw  something  that  made 
him  run  with  the  speed  of  the  wind  toward  the 
place  where  the  noise  arose.  Buttons  and  Dick 
were  surrounded  by  a  crowd  of  fierce-looking 
men,  who  were  making  very  threatening  dem 
onstrations.  There  were  at  least  fifteen.  As 
the  Senator  ran  up  from  one  direction,  so  came 
up  Mr.  Figgs  and  the  Doctor  from  another. 

"  What  is  this?"  cried  the  Senator,  bursting 
in  upon  the  crowd. 

A  huge  Italian  was  shaking  his  fist  in  But- 
tons's  face,  and  stamping  and  gesticulating  vio 
lently. 

"These  men  say  we  must  pay  five  piastres 
each  to  them  for  strolling  about  their  ground, 
and  Buttons  has  told  this  big  fellow  that  he  will 
give  them  five  kicks  each.  There'll  be  some 
kind  of  a  fight.  They  belong  to  the  Camorra." 
Dick  said  all  this  in  a  hurried  under-tone. 

"  Camorry,  what's  that — brigands?" 

"  All  the  same." 

"  They're  not  armed,  anyhow." 

Just  at  this  moment  Buttons  said  something 
which  seemed  to  sting  the  Italians  to  the  soul, 
for  with  a  wild  shout  they  rushed  forward.  The 
Doctor  drew  out  his  revolver.  Instantly  Dick 
snatched  it  from  him,  and  rushing  forward," 
drove  back  the  foremost.  None  of  them  were 
armed. 

"Stand  off!"  he  cried,  in  Italian.  "The 
fight  is  between  this  big  fellow  and  my  friend. 
If  any  one  of  you  interferes  I'll  put  a  bullet 
through  him." 

The  Italians  fell  back  cursing.  Buttons  in 
stantly  divested  himself  of  his  coat,  vest,  and 
collar.  t  The  Italian  waited  with  a  grim  smile. 

At  one  end  were  the  Senator,  the  Doctor,  Mr. 
Figgs ;  at  the  other  the  Italian  ruffians.  In  the 
middle  Buttons  a:.d  his  big  antagonist.  Near 
them  Dick  with  his  pistol. 

The  scene  that  followed  had  better  be  de 
scribed  in  Dick's  own  words,  as  he  pencilled 
them  in  his  memorandum-book,  from  time  to 
time,  keeping  a  sharp  lookout  with  his  pistol 
also.  Afterward  the  description  was  retouched  : 

Great  mill  at  Pcestum,  between  E.  BUTTONS,  Esq.,  Gentle 
man,  (tnd  Italian  party  called  HEI'PO. 

1st  Round. — Beppo  defiant  'no  attitude  at  all.  But 
tons  aSBuitfe.i  an  elegant  j>o  e.  Beppa  made  a  succes 
sion  of  wild  strokes  without  any  aim,  which  were«parrie  1 
without  effort.  After  which  B'uttorw  landed  four  blows, 
one  on  each  peeper,  one  on  the  smeller,  and  one  on  the 
miig. 

1-  ii-fst  blood  for  Buttons.  B;'ppo  considerably  sur 
prised.  Ru.shetl  furiously  at  Buttons,  arras'flying  every 
where,  struck  over  Buttons' s  head.  Buttons  lightly  made 
obeisance,  and  then  fired  a  hundivd-p"und.ev  on  Beppo' s 
left  auricular,  which  had  the  effect  of  bringing  him  to 
grass.  First  knock  down  for  Buttons. 

2iZ  Round. — Foreign  population  quite  dumbfounded. 
Americans  amused  but  not  excited.  One  hundred  to  one 
on  Buttons  eagerly  offered,  but  no  takers.  Beppo  jumped 
to  his  feet  like  a  wild  cat.  Eyes  encircled' with  ebon 
nurioles,  olfactory  quite  demolished.  Made  a  rush  at 
Buttons,  who,  being  a  member  of  the  Dodge  Club,  dodged 
him,  and  Innded  a  rattler  on  the  jugular,  which  again 
sent  foreign  party  to  grass. 

3r7  ROUIM. — Nimble  to  the  scratch.  Beppo  badly 
mashed  and  raving.  Buttons  unscathed  and  laushintr. 
Beppo  more  cautious  made  a  faint  attempt  to  get  into 


32 


THE  DODGE  CLUB ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 

t 

- ' '  -    ''•' 


^^ 


THE   MILL  AT   IMiSTUM. 


Buttons.  Ne  go.  Tried  a  little  sparring,  which  was  sum 
marily  ended  by  a  cannonade  from  Buttons  directly  in 
his  countenance. 

4th  Round. — Foreigners  wild.  Yelling  to  their  man  to 
go  in.  (Don't  understand  a  single  one  of  the  rules  of  the 
P.  R.  Very  benighted.  Need  missionaries.)  Evinced 
strong  determination  to  go  in  themselves,  but  were  clieck- 
,  ed  by  uttitude,  of  referee,  who  threatened  to  blow  out 
brains  of  first  man  that  interfered.  Beppo's  face  magni 
fied  considerably.  Appearance  not  at  all  prepossessing. 
Much  distressed  but  furious.  Made  a  bound  at  Buttons, 
who  calmly,  and  without  any  apparent  effort,'  met  him 
with  a  terrific  upper  cut,  which  made  the  Italian's  gigan 
tic  frame  tremble  like  a  ship  under  the  stroke  of  a  big 
wave.  lie  tottered,  and  swung  his  arms,  trying  to  regain 
his  balance,  when  another  annihilator  most  cleanly  ad 
ministered  by  Buttons  laid  him  low.  A  great  tumult  rose 
among  the  foreigners.  Beppo  lay  panting  with  no  de 
termination  to  come  to  the  scratch.  At  the  expiration 
of  usual  time,  opponent  not  appearing,  Buttons  was 
proclaimed  victor.  Beppo  very  much  mashed.  Foreign 
ers  very  greatly  cowed.  After  waiting  a  short  time 
Buttons  resumed  his  garments  and  walked  off  with  his 
friends. 


After  the  victory  the  travellers  left  Pa?stum 
on  their  return. 

The  road  that  turns  off  to  Sorrento  is  the 
most  beautiful  in  the  world.  It  winds  along 
the  shore  with  innumerable  turnings,  climbing 
hills,  descending  into  valleys,  twining  around 
precipices.  There  are  scores  of  the  prettiest 
villages  under  the  sun,  ivy-covered  ruins,  frown 
ing  fortresses,  lofty  towers,  and  elegant  villas. 

At  last  Sorrento  smiles  out  from  a  valley 
which  is  proverbial  for  beauty,  where,  within  its 
shelter  of  hills,  neither  the  hot  blast  of  midsum 
mer  nor  the  cold  winds  of  winter  can  ever  dis 
turb  its  repose.  This  is  the  valley  of  perpetual 
spring,  where  fruits  forever  grow,  and  the  sea 
sons  all  blend  together,  so  that  the  same  orchard 
shows  trees  in  blossom  and  bearing  fruit. 


CHAPTER  X. 

ON  THE  WATER,  WHERE  BUTTONS  SEES  A  LOST 
-IDEA  AND  GIVES  CHASE  TO  IT,  TOGETHER  WITH 
THE  HEART-SICKENING  RESULTS  THEREOF. 

ON  the  following  morning  Buttons  and  Dick 
went  a  little  way  out  of  town,  and  down  the 
steep  cliff  toward  the  shore. 

It  was  a  classic  spot.  Here  was  no  less  a 
place  than  the  cave  of  Polyphemus,  where  Ho 
mer,  at  least,  may  have  stood,  if  Ulysses  didn't. 
And  here  is  the  identical  stone  with  which  the 
giant  was  wont  to  block  up  the  entrance  to  his 
cavern. 

The  sea  rolled  before.  Away  down  to  the 
right  was  Vesuvius,  starting  from  which  the 
eye  took  in  the  whole  wide  sweep  of  the  shore, 
lined  with  white  cities,  with  a  background  of 
mountains,  till  the  land  terminated  in  bold  prom 
ontories. 

Opposite  was  the  Isle  of  Capri. 

Myriads  of  white  sails  flashed  across  the  sea. 

One  of  these  arrested  the  attention  of  But 
tons,  and  so  absorbed  him  that  he  stared  fixed 
ly  at  it  for  half  an  hour  without  moving. 

At  length  an  exclamation  burst  from  him  : 

"By  Jove!     It  is  !     It  is!" 

"What  is?     What  is?" 

"The  Spaniards!" 

"Where?" 

"  In  that  boat." 

"  Ah  !"  said  Dick,  coolly,  looking  at  the  ob 
ject  pointed  out  by  Buttons. 

It  was  an  English  sail-boat,  with  a  small  cab 
in  and  an  immense  sail.  In  the  stern  were  a 
gentleman  and  two  ladies.  Buttons  was  confi 
dent  that  they  were  the  Spaniards. 


THE  DODGE  CLUB ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


Tllii   Sl'AMAltUS. 


"  Well,"  said  Dick,  "  what's  the  use  of  get 
ting  so  excited  about  it  ?" 

"Why,  I'm  going  back  to  Naples  by  water !" 

"Are  you?  Then  I'll  go  too.  Shall  we 
leave  the  others  ?" 

"  Certainly  not,  if  they  want  to  come  with  us." 

Upon  inquiry  they  found  that  the  others  had 
a  strong  objection  to  going  by  sea.  Mr.  Figgs 
preferred  the  ease  of  the  carriage.  The  Doctor 
thought  the  sea  air  injurious.  The  Senator  had 
the  honesty  to  confess  that  he  was  afraid  of  sea 
sickness.  They  would  not  listen  to  persuasion, 
but  were  all  resolutely  bent  on  keeping  to  the 
carriage. 

Buttons  exhibited  a  feverish  haste  in  search 
ing  after  a  boat.  There  was  but  little  to  choose 
from  among  a  crowd  of  odd-looking  fishing-boats 
that  crowded  the  shore.  However,  they  se 
lected  the  cleanest »from  among  them,  and  soon 
the  boat,  \\ith  her  brqad  sail  spread,  was  dart 
ing  over  the  sea. 

The  boat  of  which  they  went  in  pursuit  was 
far  away  over  near  the  other  shore,  taking  long 
tacks  across  the  bay.  Buttons  headed  his  boat  so 
as  to  meet  the  other  on  its  return  tack. 

It  was  a  magnificent  scene.  After  exhaust- 
ting  every  shore  view  of  Naples,  there  is  nothing 
like  taking  to  the  water.  Every  thing  then  ap 
pears  in  a  new  light.  The  far,  winding  cities 
that  surround  the  shore,  the  white  villages,  the 
purple  Apennines,  the  rocky  isles,  the  frowning 
volcano. 

This  is  what  makes  Naples  supreme  in  beauty. 
The  peculiar  combinations  of  scenery  that  are 
found  there  make  rivalry  impossible.  For  if 
you  find  elsewhere  an  equally  beautiful  bay, 


you  will  not  have  so  liquid  an  atmosphere ;  if 
you  have  a  shore  with  equal  beauty  of  outline, 
and  equal  grace  in  its  long  sweep  of  towering 
headland  and  retreating  slope,  you  will  not  have 
so  deep  a  purple  on  the  distant  hills.  Above 
all,  nowhere  else  on  earth  has  Nature  placed  in 
the  very  centre  of  so  divine  a  scene  the  contrast 
ed  terrors  of  the  black  volcano. 

Watching  a  chase  is  exciting ;  but  taking 
part  in  it  is  much  more  so.  Buttons  had  made 
the  most  scientific  arrangements.  He  had  cal 
culated  that  at  a  certain  point  on  the  opposite 
shore  the  other  boat  would  turn  on  a  new  tack, 
and  that  if  he  steered  to  his  boat  to  a  point  about 
half-way  over,  he  would  meet  them,  without  ap 
pearing  to  be  in  pursuit.  He  accordingly  felt  so 
elated  at  the  idea  that  he  burst  forth  into  song. 

The  other  boat  at  length  had  passed  well  over 
under  the  shadow  of  the  land.  It  did  not  turn. 
Further  and  further  over,  and  still  it  did  not 
change  its  course.  Buttons  still  kept  the  course 
which  he  had  first  chosen ;  but  finding  that  he 
was  getting  far  out  of  the  way  of  the  other  boat, 
he  was  forced  to  turn  the  head  of  his  boat  closer 
to  the  wind,  and  sail  slowly,  watching  the 
others. 

There  was  an  island  immediately  ahead  of 
the  other  boat.  What  was  his  dismay  at  see 
ing  it  gracefully  pass  beyond  the  outer  edge 
of  the  island,  turn  behind  it,  and  vanish.  He 
struck  the  taffrail  furiously  with  his  clenched 
hand.  However,  there  was  no  help  for  it ;  so, 
changing  his  course,  he  steered  in  a  straight  line 
after  the  other,  to  where  it  had  disappeared. 

Now  that  the  boat  was  out  of  sight  Dick  did 
not  feel  himself  called  on  to  watch.  So  he  went 
forward  into  the  bow,  and  made  himself  a  snug 
berth,  where  he  laid  down ;  and  lighting  his 
pipe,  looked  dreamily  out  through  a  cloud  of 
smoke  upon  the  charming  scene.  The  tossing 
of  the  boat  and  the  lazy  flapping  of  the  sails 
had  a  soothing  influence.  His  nerves  owned 
the  lulling  power.  His  eyelids  grew  heavy  and 
gently  descended. 

The  wind  and  waves  and  islands  and  sea  and 
sky,  all  mingled  together  in  a  confused  mass, 
came  before  his  mind.  He  was  sailing  on 
clouds,  and  chasing  Spanish  ladies  through  the 
sky.  The  drifting  currents  of  the  air  bore  them 
resistlessly  along  in  wide  and  never-ending 
curves  upward  in  spiral  movements  toward  the 
zenith  ;  and  then  off  in  ever-increasing  speed, 
with  ever-widening  gyrations,  toward  the  sun 
set,  where  the  clouds  grew  red,  and  lazaroni 
grinned  from  behind — 

A  sudden  bang  of  the  huge  sail  struck  by  the 
wind,  a  wild  creaking  of  the  boom,  and  a  smart 
dash  of  spray  over  the  bows  and  into  his  face 
waked  him  from  his  slumber.  He  started  up, 
half  blinded,  to  look  around.  Buttons  sat  gaz 
ing  over  the  waters  with  an  expression  of  bitter 
vexation.  They  had  passed  the  outer  point  of 
the  island,  and  had  caught  a  swift  current,  a 
chopping  sea,  and  a  brisk  breeze.  The  other 
;  boat  was  nowhere  to  be  seen.  Buttons  had  al- 
'L  ready  headed  back  again. 


THE  DODGE  CLUB ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


"  I  don't  see  the  other  boat,"  said  Dick. 

Buttons  without  a  word  pointed  to  the  left. 
There  she  was.  She  had  gone  quietly  around 
the  island,  and  had  taken  the  channel  between 
it  and  the  shore.  All  the  time  that  she  had 
been  hidden  she  was  steadily  increasing  the 
distance  between  them. 

"There's  no  help  for  it,"  said  Dick,  "but  to 
keep  straight  after  them." 

Buttons  did  not  reply,  but  leaned  back  with 
n  sweet  expression  of  patience.  The  two  boats 
kept  on  in  this  way  for  a  long  time  ;  but  the 
one  in  which  our  friends  had  embarked  was  no 
match  at  all  for  the  one  they  were  pursuing. 
At  every  new  tack  this  fact  became  more  pain 
fully  evident.  The  only  hope  for  Buttons  was 
to  regain  by  his  superior  nautical  skill  what  he 
might  lose.  Those  in  the  other  boat  had  but 
little  skill  in  sailing,  These  at  length  became 
aware  that  they  were  followed,  and  regarded 
their  pursuers  with  earnest  attention.  It  did 
not  seem  to  have  any  effect. 

"They  know  we  are  after  them  at  last!" 
said  Dick. 

"  I  wonder  if  they  can  recognize  us  ?" 

"If  they  do  they  have  sharp  eyes.  I'll  be 
hanged  if  I  can  recognize  them  !  I  don't  see 
how  you  can." 

"  Instinct,  Dick — instinct !"  said  Buttons, 
with  animation. 

"  What's  that  flashing  in  their  boat  ?" 

"That?"  said  Buttons.  "It's  a  spy-glass. 
I  didn't  notice  it  before." 

"  I've  seen  it  for  the  last  half-hour." 

' '  Then  they  must  recognize  us.     How  strange 


that  they  don't,  slacken  a  little  !  Perhaps  we 
are  not  in  full  view.  I  will  sit  a  little  more  out 
of  the  shade  of  the  sail,  so  that  they  can  recog 
nize  me." 

Accordingly  Buttons  moved  out  to  a  more 
conspicuous  place,  and  Dick  allowed  himself  to 
be  more  visible.  Again  the  flashing  brass  wsis 
seen  in  the  boat,  and  they  could -plainly  per 
ceive  that  it  was  passed  from  one  to  the  other, 
while  each  took  a  long  survey. 

"They  must  be  able  to  see  us  if  they  have 
any  kind  of  a  glass  at  all." 

"I  should  think  so,"  said  Buttons,  dolefully. 

"  Are  you  sure  they  are  the  Spaniards  ?" 

"Oh  !  quite." 

"  Then  I  must  say  they  might  be  a  little 
more  civil,  and  not  keep  us  racing  after  them 
forever !" 

"Oh,  I  don't  know  ;  I  suppose  they  wouldn't 
like  to  sail  close  up  to  us." 

"  They  needn't  sail  up  to  us,  but  they  might 
give  us  a  chance  to  hail  them." 

"  I  don't  think  the  man  they  have  with  them 
looks  like  Senor  Francia." 

"Prancia?  Is  that  his  name  ?  He  certain 
ly  looks  larger.  He  is  larger." 

"Look!" 

As  Buttons  spoke  the  boat  ahead  fell  rapidly 
to  leeward.  The  wind  had  fallen,  and  a  cur 
rent  which  they  had  struck  upon  bore  them 
away.  In  the  effort  to  escape  from  the  current 
the  boat  headed  toward  Buttons,  and  when  the 
wind  again  arose  she  continued  to  sail  toward 
them.  As  they  came  nearer  Button's  face  ex 
hibited  a  strange  variety  of  expressions. 


THE  DODGE  CLUB  ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


35 


They  met. 

In  the  other  boat  sat  two  English  ladies  and 
a 'tall  gentleman,  who  eyed  the  two  young  men 
fixedly,  with  a  "stony  British  stare." 

"  A  thousand  pardons  !"  said  Buttons,  rising 
and  bowing.  "  I  mistook  you  for  some  ac 
quaintances." 

Whereupon  the  others  smiled  in  a  friendly 
way,  bowed,  and  said  something.  A  few  com 
monplaces  were  interchanged,  and  the  boats 
drifted  away  out  of  hearing. 


CHAPTER  XI. 

THE  SENATOR  HAS  SUCH  A  FANCY  FOR  SEEKING 
USEFUL  INFORMATION  '.-—CURIOUS  POSITION  OF 
A  WISE,  AND  WELL-KNOWN,  AND  DESERVEDLY- 
POPULAR  LEGISLATOR,  AND  UNDIGNIFIED  MODE 
OF  HIS  ESCAPE. 

IT  was  not  much  after  ten  in  the  morning 
when  Buttons  and  Dick  returned.  On  reach 
ing  the  hotel  they  found  Mr.  Figgs  and  the 
Doctor,  who  asked  them  if  they  had  seen  the 
Senator.  To  which  they  replied  by  putting  the 
same  question  to  their  questioners. 

He  had  not  been  seen  since  they  had  all  been 
together  last.  Where  was  he  ? 

Of  course  there  was  no  anxiety  felt  about 
him,  but  still  they  all  wished  to  have  him  near 
at  hand,  as  it  was  about  time  for  them  to  leave 
the  town.  The  vetturino  was  already  grum 
bling,  and  it  required  a  pretty  strong  remon 
strance  from  Buttons  to  silence  him. 

They  had  nothing  to  do  but  to  wait  patient 
ly.  Mr.  Figgs  and  the  Doctor  lounged  about 
the  sofas.  Buttons  and  Dick  strolled  about  the 
town.  Hearing  strains  of  music  as  they  passed 
the  cathedral,  they  turned  in  there  to  listen  to 
the  service.  Why  there  should  be  service,  and 
full  service  too,  they  could  not  imagine. 

"Can  it  be  Sunday,  Dick?"  said  Buttons, 
gravely. 

"Who  can  tell?"  exclaimed  Dick,  lost  in 
wonder. 

The  cathedral  was  a  small  one,  with  nave 
and  transept  as  usual,  and  in  the  Italian  Gothic 
style.  At  the  end  of  the  nave  stood  the  high 
altar,  which  was  now  illuminated  with  wax-can 
dles,  while  priests  officiated  before  it.  At  the 
right  extremity  of  the  transept  was  the  organ- 
loft,  a  somewhat  unusual  position ;  while  at 
the  opposite  end  of  the  transept  was  a  smaller 
door.^  The  church  was  moderately  filled.  Prob 
ably  there  were  as  many  people  there  as  it  ever 
had.  They  knelt  on  the  floor  with  their  faces 
toward  the  altar.  Finding  the  nave  somewhat 
crowded,  Buttons  and  Dick  went  around  to  the 
door  at  the  end  of  the  transept,  and  entered 
there.  A  large  space  was  empty  as  far  as  the 
junction  with  the  nave.  Into  this  the  two  young 
men  entered,  very  reverently,  and  on  coming 
near  to  the  place  where  the  other  worshipers 
were  they  knelt  down  in  the  midst  of  them. 

While  looking  before  him,  with  his  mind 
full  of  thoughts  called  up  by  the  occasion,  and 


I  while  the  grand  music  of  one  of  Mozart's  masses 
was  filling  his  soul,  Buttons  suddenly  felt  his 
arm  twitched.  He  turned.  It  was  Dick. 

Buttons  was  horrified.  In  the  midst  of  this 
solemn  scene  the  young  man  was  convulsed 
with  laughter.  His  features  were  working,  his 

',  lips  moving,  as  he  tried  to  whisper  something 
which  his  laughter  prevented  him  from  saying, 
and  tears  were  in  his  eyes.  At  last  he  stuck 
his  handkerchief  in  his  mouth  and  bowed  down 
very  low,  while  his  whole  frame  shook.  Some 
of  the  worshipers  near  by  looked  scandalized, 
others  shocked,  others  angry.  Buttons  felt 
vexed.  At  last  Dick  raised  his  face  and  rolled 
his  eyes  toward  the  organ-loft,  and  instantly 
bowed  his  head  again.  Buttons  looked  up  me 
chanically,  following  the  direction  of  Dick's 

i  glance.  The  next  instant  he  too  fell  forward, 
tore  his  handkerchief  out  of  his  pocket,  while 
his  whole  frame  shook  with  the  most  painful 
convulsion  of  laughter. 

And  how  dreadful  is  such  a  convulsion  in  a 
solemn  place  !  In  a  church,  amid  worshipers  ; 
perhaps  especially  amid  worshipers  of  another 
creed,  for  then  one  is  suspected  of  offering  de 
liberate  insult.  So  it  was  here.  People  near 
saw  the  two  young  men,  and  darted  angry  looks 

j  at  them. 

Now  what  was  it  that  had  so  excited  two 
young  men,  who  were  by  no  means  inclined  to 
offer  insult  to  any  one,  especially  in  religious, 

i  matters  ? 

It  was  this :  As  they  looked  up  to  the  organ- 

j  loft  they  saw  a  figure  there. 

The  organ  projected  from  the  wall  about  six 

;  feet ;  on  the  left  side  was  the  handle  worked  by 
the  man  who  blew  it,  and  a  space  for  the  choir. 
On  the  right  was  a  small  narrow  space  not  more 
than  about  three  feet  wide,  and  it  was  in  this 
space  that  they  saw  the  figure  which  produced 
such  an  effect  on  them. 

It  was  the  Senator.  He  stood  there  erect, 
bare-headed  of  course,  with  confusion  in  his 
face  and  vexation  and  bewilderment.  The 
sight  of  him  was  enough — the  astonishing  posi 
tion  of  the  man,  in  such  a  place  at  such  a  time. 
But  the  Senator  was  looking  eagerly  for  help. 
And  he  had  seen  them  enter,  and  all  his  soul 

•  was  in  his  eyes,  and  all  his  eyes  were  fixed  on 
those  two. 

As  Dick  looked  up  startled  and  confounded 
at  the  sight,  the  Senator  projected  his  head  as 
far  forward  as  he  dared,  frowned,  nodded,  and 
then  began  working  his  lips  violently  as  certain 
deaf  and  dumb  people  do,  who  converse  by  such 
movements,  and  can  understand  what  words  are 
said  by  the  shape  of  the  mouth  in  uttering  them. 
But  the  effect  was  to  make  the  Senator  look 

,  like  a  man  who  was  making  grimaces  for  a 
wager,  like  those  in  Victor  Hugo's  "  Notre 
Dame."  As  such  the  apparition  was  so  over 
powering  that  neither  Buttons  nor  Dick  dared 
to  look  up  for  some  time.  What  made  it  worse, 

|  each  was  conscious  that  the  other  was  laughing, 
so  that  self-control  was  all  the  more  difficult. 
Worse  still,  each  knew  that  this  figure  in  the 


36 


THE  DODGE  CLUB ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


organ-loft  was  watching  them  with  his  hungry 
glance,  ready  the  moment  that  they  looked  up 
to  begin  his  grimaces  once  more. 

"That  poor  Senator!"  thought  Buttons; 
"  how  did  he  get  there  ?  Oh,  how  did  he  get 
there  ?" 

Yet  how  could  he  be  rescued  ?  Could  he  be  ? 
No.  He  must  wait  till  the  service  should  be 
over. 

Meanwhile  the  young  men  mustered  sufficient 
courage  to  look  up  again,  and  after  a  mighty 
struggle  to  gaze  upon  the  Senator  for  a  few 
seconds  at  a  time  at  least.  There  he  stood, 
projecting  forward  his  anxious  face,  making 
faces  as  each  one  looked  up. 


THE   SENATOR. 

Now  the  people  in  the  immediate  vicinity  of 
the  two  young  men  had  noticed  their  agitation 
as  has  already  been  stated,  and,  moreover,  they 
had  looked  up  to  see  the  cause  of  it.  They  too 
saw  the  Senator.  Others  again,  seeing  their 
neighbors  looking  up,  did  the  same,  until  at  last 
all  in  the  transept  were  staring  up  at  the  odd- 
looking  stranger. 

As  Buttons  and  Dick  looked  up,  which  they 


could  not  help  doing  often,  the  Senator  would 
repeat  his  mouthings,  and  nods,  and  becks,  and 
looks  of  entreaty.  The  consequence  was,  that 
the  people  thought  the  stranger  was  making 
faces  at  them.  Three  hundred  and  forty-seven 
honest  people  of  Sorrento  thus  found  themselves 
shamefully  insulted  in  their  own  church  by  a 
barbarous  foreigner,  probably  an  Englishman, 
no  doubt  a  heretic.  The  other  four  hundred 
and  thirty-six  who  knelt  in  the  nave  knew  noth 
ing  about  it.  They  could  not  see  the  organ- 
loft  at  all.  The  priests  at  the  high  altar  could 
not  see  it,  so  that  they  were  uninterrupted  in 
their  duties.  The  singers  in  the  organ-loft  saw 
nothing,  for  the  Senator  was  concealed  from 
their  view.  Those  therefore  who  saw  him  were 
the  people  in  the  transept,  who  now  kept  star 
ing  fixedly,  and  with  angry  eyes,  at  the  man  in 
the  loft. 

There  was  no  chance  of  getting  him  out  of 
that  before  the  service  M'as  over,  and  Buttons 
saw  that  there  might  be  a  serious  tumult  when 
the  Senator  came  down  among  that  wrathful 
crowd.  Eveiy  moment  made  it  worse.  Those 
in  the  nave  saw  the  agitation  of  those  in  the 
transept,  and  got  some  idea  of  the  cause. 

At  last  the  service  was  ended  ;  the  singers 
departed,  the  priests  retired,  but  the  congrega 
tion  remained.  Seven  hundred  and  eiglity- 
three  human  beings  waiting  to  take  vengeance 
on  the  miscreant  who  had  thrown  ridicule  on 
the  Holy  Father  by  making  faces  at  the  faithful 
as  they  knelt  in  prayer.  Already  a  murmur 
arose  on  every  side. 

"  A  heretic  !  A  heretic  !  A  blasphemer  ! 
He  has  insulted  us!" 

Buttons  saw  that  a  bold  stroke  alone  could 
save  them.  He  burst  into  the  midst  of  the 
throng  followed  by  Dick. 

"Fly  !"  he  cried.  "  Fly  for  your  lives  !  It 
is  a  madman!  Fly!  Fly!" 

A  loud  cry  of  terror  arose.  Instantaneous 
conviction  flashed  on  the  minds  of  all.  A  mad 
man  !  Yes.  He  could  be  nothing  else. 

A  panic  arose.  The  people  recoiled  from 
before  that  terrible  madman.  Buttons  sprang 
up  to  the  loft.  He  seized  the  Senator's  arm 
and  dragged  him  down.  The  people  fled  in 
horror.  As  the  Senator  emerged  he  saw  seven 
hundred  and  eighty-three  good  people  of  Sor 
rento  scampering  away  like  the  wind  across  the 
square  in  front  of  the  cathedral. 

On  reaching  the  hotel  he  told  his  story.  He 
had  been  peering  about  in  search  of  useful  in 
formation,  and  had  entered  the  cathedral.  After 
going  through  every  part  he  went  up  into  the 
organ-loft.  Just  then  the  singers  came.  In 
stead  of  going  out  like  a  man,  he  dodged  them 
from  some  absurd  cause  or  other,  with  a  half 
idea  that  he  would  get  into  trouble  for  intrud 
ing.  The  longer  he  stayed  the  worse  it  was  for 
him.  At  last  he  saw  Buttons  and  Dick  enter, 
and  tried  to  make  signals. 

"Well,"  said  Buttons,  "we  had  better 
leave.  The  Sorrentonians  will  be  around  here 
soon  to  see  the  maniac.  They  will  find  out  all 


THE  DODGE  CJAJB  ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


37 


about  him,  and  make  us  acquainted  with  Lynch 

ft  In  a  quarter  of  an  hour  more  they  were  on 
their  way  back  to  Naples. 


CHAPTER   XII. 

HEPCULANECM  AND  POMPEII,  AND  ALL  THAT  THE 
SmHT  OF  THOSE  FAMOUS  PLACES  PKODUCED  ON 
THE  MINDS  OF  THE  DODGE  CLUB. 

THEY  had  already  visited  Herculaneum,  but 
the  only  feeling  whfch  had  been  awakened  by 
the  sight  of  that  ill-fated  city  was  one  of  un 
mitigated  disgust.  As  honesty  was  the  chief 
characteristic  of  the  whole  party,  they  did  not 
hesitate  to  express  themselves  with  the  utmost 
freedom  on  this  subject.  They  hoped  for  bet 
ter  things  from  Pompeii.  At  any  rate  Pompei 
was  above  ground ;  what  might  be  there  would 
be  visible.  No  fuss  with  torches.  No  hum- 
bu^ging  with  lanterns  No  wandering  througl 
long  black  passages.  No  mountains  bringing 
forth  mice. 

Their  expectations  were  encouraged  as  the} 
walked  up  the  street  of  Tombs  leading  to  the 
Herculaneum  Gate.  Tombs  were  all  around 
any  quantity,  all  sizes,  little  black  vaults  full  of 
pigeon-holes.  These  they  narrowly  examined 
and  when  the  guide  wasn't  looking  they  fille< 
their  pockets  with  the  ashes  of  the  dead. 

"Strange,"    quoth   the   Senator,    musingly 


that  these  ancient  Pompey  fellers  should  pick 
ut  this  kind  of  a  way  of  getting  buried.  Tins 
-nust  be  the  reason  why  people  speak  of  urns 
nd  ashes  when  they  speak  of  dead  people. 

They  walked  through  the  Villa  of  Diomedes. 
They  were  somewhat  disappointed.  From 
guide-books,  and  especially  from  the  remarka 
bly  well-got-up  Pompeian  court  at  Sydenham 
Palace,  Buttons  had  been  led  to  expect  some- 
-hing  far  grander.  But  in  this,  the  largest 
'louse  in  the  city,  what  did  he  find  ?  Mites  of 
ooms,  in  fact  closets,  in  which  even  a  humble 
modern  would  find  himself  rather  crowded. 
There  was  scarcely  a  decent-sized  apartment  in 
the  whole  establishment,  as  they  all  indignant 
ly  declared.  The  cellars  were  more  striking. 
A  number  of  earthern  vessels  of  enormous  size 
were  in  one  corner. 

'  What  are  these?"  asked  the  Senator. 
'Wine  jars.'' 
'  What  ?" 

'  Wine  jars.    They  didn't  use  wooden  casks. 

'The  more  fools 'they.     Now  do  yon  mean 

to  say  that  wooden  casks  are  not  infinitely  more 

convenient  than  these  things  that  can't  stand 

up  without  they  are  leaned  against  the  wall? 

Pho !" 

At  one  corner  the  guide  stopped,  and  point 
ing  down,  said  something. 

"  What  does  he  say  ?"  asked  the  Senator. 

"  He  says  if  you  want  to  know  how  the  Pom- 
peians  got"  choked,  stoop  down  and  smell  that. 


VILLA  OF   DIOMEDE8. 


38 


THE  DODGE  CLUB ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


Every  body  who  comes  here  is  expected  to  smell 
this  particular  spot,  or  he  can't  say  that  he  has 
seen  Pompeii." 

So  down  went  the  five  on  their  knees,  and 
up  again  faster  than  they  went  down.  With  one 
universal  shout  of:  "  Phew-w-w-w-w-h-h-h  !  ! !" 

It  was  a  torrent  of  sulphurous  vapor  that  they 
inhaled. 

"Now,  I  suppose,"  said  the  Senator,  as  soon 
as  he  could  speak,  "  that  that  there  comes  di 
rect  in  a  bee-line  through  a  subterranean  tun 
nel  right  straight  from  old  Vesuvius. " 

"Yes,  and  it  was  this  that  suggested  the 
famous  scheme  for  extinguishing  the  volcano." 

"How?     What  famous  scheme?" 

"Why,  an  English  stock-broker  came  here 
last  year,  and  smelled  this  place,  as  every  one 
must  do.  An  idea  struck  him.  He  started 
up.  He  ran  off  without  a  word.  He  went 
straight  to  London.  There  he  organized  a 
company.  They  propose  to  dig  a  tunnel  from 
the  sea  to  the  interior  of  the  mountain.  When 
all  is  ready  they  will  let  in  the  water.  There 
will  be  a  tremendous  hiss.  The  volcano  will 
belch  out  steam  for  about  six  weeks ;  but  the 
result  will  be  that  the  fires  will  be  put  out  for 
ever." 

From  the  Villa  of  Diomedes  they  went  to  the 
gate  where  the  guard-house  is  seen.  Buttons 
told  the  story  of  the  sentinel  who  died  there  on 
duty,  embellishing  it  with  a  few  new  features 
of  an  original  character. 

"Now  that  may  be  all  very  well,"  said  the 
Senator,  "but  don't  ask  me  to  admire  that 


chap,  or  the  Roman  army, 
'or  the  system.  It  was  all 
hollow.  Why,  don't  you  see 
the  man  was  a  blockhead  ? 
He  hadn't  sense  enough  to 
see  that  when  the  whole 
place  was  going  to  the  dogs, 
it  was  no  good  stopping  to 
guard  it.  He'd  much  better 
have  cleared  out  and  saved 
his  precious  life  for  the  good 
of  his  country.  Do  you 
suppose  a  Yankee  would  act 
that  way  ?" 

"  I  should  suppose  not." 
"  That  man,  Sir,  was  a 
machine,  and  nothing  more. 
A  soldier  must  know  some 
thing  else  than  merely  obey 
ing  orders." 

By  this  time  they  had 
passed  through  the  gate  and 
stood  inside.  The  street 
opened  before  them  for  a 
considerable  distance  with 
houses  on  each  side.  In 
cluding  the  sidewalks  it 
mi^ht  have  been  almost 
twelve  feet  wide.  As  only 
the  lower  part  of  the  walls 
of  the  houses  was  standing, 
the  show  that  they  made  was 
not  imposing.  There  was  no  splendor  in  the  ar 
chitecture  or  the  material,  for  the  style  of  the 
buildings  was  extremely  simple,  and  they  were 
made  with  brick  covered  with  stucco. 

After  wandering  silently  through  the  streets 
the  Senator  at  length  burst  forth : 

"I  say  it's  an  enormous  imposition!" 
"  What  ?"  inquired  Buttons,  faintly. 
' '  Why,  the    whole   system   of  Cyclopedias, 
Panoramas,  Books  of  Travel,  Woodbridge's  Ge 
ography,  Sunday-school  Books — " 
"  What  do  you  mean  ?" 
"I  mean  the  descriptions  they  give  of  this 
place.     The  fellows  who  write  about  it  get  into 
the  heroics,  and   what  with  their  descriptions, 
and  pictures,  and  moralizing,  you  believe  it  is 
a  second  Babylon.      It  don't  seem  possible  for 
any  of  them  to  tell  the  truth.     Why,  there  isn't 
a  single  decent-sized  house  in  the  place.     Oh, 
it's  small!  it's  small !" 

"It  certainly  might  be  larger." 
"I  know,"  continued  the  Senator,  with  a 
majestic  wave  of  his  hand — "I  know  that  I'm 
expected  to  find  this  here  scene  very  impressive  ; 
but  I'll  be  hanged  if  I'm  satisfied.  Why,  in  the 
name  of  Heaven,  when  they  give  us  pictures 
of  the  place,  can't  they  make  things  of  the  right 
size  ?  Why,  I've  seen  a  hundred  pictures  of 
that  gate.  They  make  it  look  like  a  triumph 
ant  arch  ;  and  now  that  I'm  here,  durn  me  if  I 
can't  touch  the  top  of  it  when  I  stand  on  tip- 


In  all  his  walk  the  Senator  found  only  one 
thing  that  pleased  him.     This  was   the  cele- 


THE  DODGE  CLUB ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLLX. 


39 


brated  Pompeian  institution  of  a  shop  under  the 
dwelling-house. 

"  Whenever  I  see  any  signs  of  any  thing  like 
trade  among  these  ancients,"  said  he,  "I  re 
spect  them.  And  what  is  more  satisfactory 
than  to  see  a  bake-shop  or  an  eating-saloon  in 
the  lower  story  of  a  palace  ?" 

Their  walk  was  terminated  by  the  theatre  and 
amphitheatre.  The  sight  of  these  were  more 
satisfactory  to  the  Senator. 

"  Didn't  these  fellows  come  it  uncommon 
strong  though  in  the  matter  of  shows?"  he  ask 
ed,  with  considerable  enthusiasm.  "Hey? 
Why,  we  haven't  got  a  single  travelling  circus, 
menagerie  and  all,  that  could  come  anyway  near 
to  this.  After  all,  this  town  might  have  looked 
well  enough  when  it  was  all  bran-new  and 
painted  up.  It  might  have  looked  so  then ; 
but,  by  thunder !  it  looks  any  thing  but  that 
now.  What  makes  me  mad  is  to  see  every 
traveller  pretend  to  get  into  raptures  about  it 
now.  Raptures  be  hanged !  I  ask  you,  as  a 
sensible  man,  is  there  any  thing  here  equal  to 
any  town  of  the  same  population  in  Massachu 
setts  ?" 


Although  the  expectations  which  he  had 
formed  were  not  quite  realized,  yet  Buttons 
found  much  to  excite  interest  after  the  first  dis 
appointment  had  passed  away.  Dick  excited 
the  Senator's  disgust  by  exhibiting  those  rapt 
ures  which  the  latter  had  condemned. 

The  Doctor  went  by  the  Guide-book  altogeth 
er,  and  regulated  his  emotions  accordingly. 
Having  seen  the  various  places  enumerated 
there,  he  wished  no  more.  As  Buttons  and 
Dick  wished  to  stroll  further  among  the  houses, 
the  other  three  waited  for  them  in  the  amphi 
theatre,  where  the  Senator  beguiled  the  time  by 
giving  his  "  idee  "  of  an  ancient  show. 

It  was  the  close  of  day  before  the  party  left. 
At  the  outer  barrier  an  official  politely  exam 
ined  them.  The  result  of  the  examination  was 
that  the  party  was  compelled  to  disgorge  a  num 
ber  of  highly  interesting  souvenirs,  consisting 
of  lava,  mosaic  stones,  ashes,  plaster,  marble 
chips,  pebbles,  bricks,  a  bronze  hinge,  a  piece 
of  bone,  a  smalL  rag,  a  stick,  etc. 

The  official  apologized  with  touching  polite 
ness:  "It  was  only  a  form,"  he  said.  "Yet 
he  must  do  it.  For  look  you,  Signori,"  and 


A   8TISEET   1>"   POMPEII. 


THE  DODGE  CLUB  ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


here  he  shrugged  up  his  shoulders,  rolled  his 
eyes,  and  pufted  out  his  lips  in  a  way  that  was 
possible  to  none  but  an  Italian,  "  were  it  not 
thus  the  entire  city  would  be  carried  away  piece 
meal!" 


CHAPTER  XIH. 

VESUVIUS. — WONDERFUL  ASCENT  OF  THE  CONE.— - 
WONDERFUL  DESCENT  INTO  THE  CRATER. — AND 
MOST  WONDERFUL  DISAPPEARANCE  OF  MR. 
FIGGS,  AFTER  WHOM  ALL  HIS  FRIENDS  GO,  WITH 
THEIR  LIVES  IN  THEIR  HANDS. — GREAT  SENSA 
TION  AMONG  SPECTATORS. 

To  every  visitor  to  Naples  the  most  promi 
nent  object  is  Vesuvius.  The  huge  form  of  the  ! 
volcano  forever  stands  before  him.  The  long 
pennon  of  smoke  from  its  crater  forever  floats 
out  triumphantly  in  the  air.  Not  in  the  land 
scape  only,  but  in  all  the  picture-shops.  In 
these  establishments  they  really  seem  to  deal  in 
nothing  but  prints  and  paintings  of  Vesuvius. 

It  was  a  lovely  morning  when  a  carriage,  ! 
filled  with  Americans,  drew  up  at  an  inn  near 
the  foot  of  the  mountain.     There  were  guides 
without  number  waiting,  like  beasts  of  prey,  to 
fall  on  them  ;  and  all  the  horses  of  the  country — 
awonderfullot — anamazinglot — alean,  cranky,  , 
raw-boned,  ill-fed,  wall-eyed,  ill-natured,  sneak 
ing,  ungainly,  half-foundered,  half-starved  lot ;  | 
afflicted  with  all  the  diseases  that  horse-flesh  is  ! 
heir  to.     There  were   no  others,  so  but  little 
time  was  wasted.     All  were  on  an  equal  foot 
ing.     To   have  a  preference   was   out   of  the 
question,  so  they  amused  themselves  with  pick 
ing  out  the  ugliest. 

When  the  horses  were  first  brought  out  Mr. 
Figgs  looked  uneasy,  and  made  some  mysteri 
ous  remarks  about  walking.  He  thought  such 
nags  were  an  imposition.  He  vowed  they  could 
go  faster  on  foot.  On  foot !  The  others  scout 
ed  the  idea.  Absurd !  Perhaps  he  wasn't  used 
to  such  beasts.  Never  mind.  He  mustn't  be 
proud.  Mr.  Figgs,  however,  seemed  to  have 
reasons  which  were  strictly  private,  and  an 
nounced  his  intention  of  walking.  But  the 
others  would  not  hear  of  such  a  thing.  They 
insisted.  They  forced  him  to  mount.  This 
Mr.  Figgs  at  length  accomplished,  though  he 
got  up  on  the  wrong  side,  and  nearly  pulled  his 
horse  over  backward  by  pulling  at  the  curb- 
rein,  shouting  all  the  time,  in  tones  of  agony, 
"Who-a!" 

At  length  they  all  set  out,  and,  with  few  in 
terruptions,  arrived  at  a  place  half-way  up  the 
mountain  called  The  Hermitage.  Here  they 
rested,  and  leaving  their  horses  behind,  walked 
on  over  a  barren  region  to  the  foot  of  the  cone. 
All  around  was  the  abomination  of  desolation. 
Craggy  rocks,  huge,  disjointed  masses  of  shat 
tered  lava-blocks,  cooled  oflf  into  the  most  gro 
tesque  shapes,  mixed  with  ashes,  scoriae,  and 
pumice-stones.  The  cone  towered  frowningly 
above  their  heads.  Looking  up,  the  aspect  was 
not  enticing.  A  steep  slope  ran  up  for  an  im 
mense  distance  till  it  touched  the  smoky  canopy. 


On  one  side  it  was  covered  with  loose  sand,  but 
in  other  places  it  was  all  overlaid  with  masses 
of  lava  fragments.  The  undertaking  seemed 
prodigious. 

The  Senator  looked  up  with  a  weary  smile, 
but  did  not  falter ;  the  Doctor  thought  they 
would  not  be  able  to  get  up  to  the  top,  and  pro 
posed  returning ;  the  others  declined ;  where 
upon  the  Doctor  slowly  sauntered  back  to  the 
Hermitage.  Mr.  Figgs,  whom  the  ride  had 
considerably  shaken,  expressed  a  desire  to  as 
cend,  but  felt  doubtful  about  his  wind.  Dick 
assured  him  that  he  would  find  plenty  when  he 
got  to  the  top.  The  guides  also  came  to  his 
relief.  Did  he  want  to  go  ?  Behold  them. 
They  had  chairs  to  carry  him  up  or  straps  to 
pull  him.  Their  straps  were  so  made  that  they 
could  envelop  the  traveller  and  allow  him  to  be 
pulled  comfortably  up.  So  Mr.  Figgs  grace 
fully  resigned  himself  to  the  guides,  who  in  a 
short  time  had  adjusted  their  straps,  and  led 
him  to  the  foot  of  the  cone. 

Now  for  the  ascent. 

Buttons  went  first.  Like  a  young  chamois 
this  youth  bounded  up,  leaping  from  rock  to 
rock,  and  steering  in  a  straight  line  for  the 
summit.  Next  the  Senator,  who  mounted  slow 
ly  and  perseveringly,  as  though  he  had  a  solemn 
duty  to  perform,  and  was  determined  to  d<nt 
thoroughly.  Then  came  Dick.  More  fitful.' 
A  few  steps  upward ;  then  a  rest ;  then  a  fresh 
start;  followed  by  another  rest.  At  length  he 
sat  down  about  one-third  of  the  way  up  and 
took  a  smoke.  Behind  him  Mr.  Figgs  toiled 


THE   ASCENT  OF  VKSUVIUS. 


THE  DODGE  CLUB ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


41 


up,  pulled  by  the  panting  guides.  Three  stout 
men  in  front — two  others  boosting  from  behind. 

A  long  description  might  be  given  of  this  re 
markable  ascent.  How  Mr.  Figgs  aggravated 
the  guides  almost  beyond  endurance  by  mere 
force  of  inertia.  Having  committed  himself  to 
them  he  did  it  thoroughly,  and  not  by  one  single 
act  of  exertion  did  he  lessen  their  labor.  They 
pulled,  pushed,  and  shouted ;  then  they  rested  ; 
then  they  rose  again  to  pull,  to  push,  to  shout, 
and  to  rest  as  before ;  then  they  implored  him 
in  the  most  moving  terms  to  do  something  to 
help  them,  to  put  one  foot  before  the  other,  to 
brace  himself  firmly — in  short,  to  do  any  thing. 

In  vain.  Mr.  Figgs  didn't  understand  a 
word.  He  was  unmovable.  Then  they  threat 
ened  to  drop  him  and  leave  him  half-way.  The 
threat  was  disregarded.  Mr.  Figgs  sat  on  a 
stone  while  they  rested  and  smiled  benignantly 
at  them.  At  last,  maddened  by  his  impassi 
bility,  they  screamed  at  him  and  at  one  an 
other  with  furious  gesticulations,  and  then  tear 
ing  off  the  straps,  they  hurried  up  the  slope, 
leaving  him  on  the  middle  of  the  mount  to  take 
care  of  himself. 

It  might  ba  told  how  the  Senator  toiled  up 
slowly  but  surely,  never  stopping  till  he  had 
gained  the  summit ;  or  how  Buttons,  who  ar 
rived  there  first,  spent  the  time  in  exploring 
the  mysteries  of  this  elevated  region;  or  how 
Dick  stopped  every  twenty  paces  to  rest  and 
smoke ;  how  he  consumed  much  time  and 
mudh  tobacco ;  and  how  he  did  not  gain  the 
summit  until  twenty  minutes  after  the  serene 
face  of  the  Senator  had  confronted  the  terrors 
of  the  crater. 

Before  these  three  there  was  a  wonderful 
scene.  Below  them  lay  the  steep  sides  of  the 
cone,  a  waste  of  hideous  ruin — 

"  Eocks,  crags,  and  mounds  confusedly  hurled, 
The  fragments  of  a  ruined  world." 

Before  them  was  the  crater,  a  vast  abyss,  the 
bottom  of  which  was  hidden  from  sight  by  dense 
clouds  of  sulphurous  smoke  which  forever  as 
cended.  Far  away  on  the  other  side  rose  the 
apposite  wall  of  the  abyss — black,  rocky  cliffs 
that  rose  precipitously  upward.  The  side  on 
which  they  stood  sloped  down  at  a  steep  angle 
for  a  few  hundred  feet,  and  then  went  abruptly 
downward.  A  mighty  wind  was  blowing  and 
carried  all  the  smoke  away  to  the  opposite  side 
of  the  crater,  so  that  by  getting  down  into  the 
shelter  of  a  rock  they  were  quite  comfortable. 

The  view  of  the  country  that  lay  beneath  was 
superb.  There  lay  Naples  with  its  suburbs, 
extending  for  miles  along  the  shore,  with  Por- 
tici,  Castellamare,  and  the  vale  of  Sorrento. 
There  rose  the  hills  of  Baise,  the  rock  of  Ischia, 
and  the  Isle  of  Capri.  There  lay  countless 
vineyards,  fields  forever  green,  groves  of  orange 
and  fig-trees,  clusters  of  palms  and  cypresses. 
Mountains  ascended  all  around,  with  many 
heights  crowned  with  castles  or  villages.  There 
lay  the  glorious  Bay  of  Naples,  the  type  of  per 
fect  beauty.  Hundreds  of  white  sails  dotted 
the  intense  blue  of  its  surface.  Ships  were  , 


there  at  anchor,  and  in  full  sail.  Over  all  was 
a  sky  such  as  is  seen  only  in  Italy,  with  a  depth 
of  blue,  which,  when  seen  in  paintings,  seems 
to  the  inexperienced  eye  like  an  exaggeration. 

The  guides  drew  their  attention  from  all  this 
beauty  to  a  solid  fact.  This  was  the  cooking 
of  an  egg  by  merely  burying  it  in  the  hot  sand 
for  a  few  minutes. 

Buttons  now  proposed  to  go  down  into  the 
crater.  The  guides  looked  aghast. 

"  Why  not  ?" 

"  Impossible,  Signor.     It's  death." 

"  Death  ?  Nonsense  !  come  along  and  show 
us  the  way." 

"  The  way  ?  There  is  no  way.  No  one 
ever  dares  to  go  down.  Where  can  we  go  to  ? 
Do  you  not  see  that  beyond  that  point  where 
the  rock  projects  it  is  all  a  precipice  ?" 

' '  That  point  ?  Well,  that  is  the  very  spot  I 
wish  to  go  to.  Come  along." 

"Never,  Signor." 

"Then  I'll  go." 

"  Don't.  For  the  sake  of  Heaven,  and  in  the 
name  of  the  most  Holy  Mother,  of  St.  Peter  in 
chains,  of  all  the  blessed  Apostles  and  Martyrs, 
the  glorious  Saints  and — " 

"  Blessed  Botheration, "cried Buttons,  abrupt 
ly  turning  his  back  and  preparing  to  descend. 

"  Are  you  in  earnest,  Buttons?"  asked  Dick. 
"  Are  you  really  going  down  ?" 

"Certainly." 

"  Oh,  then  I'll  go  too." 

Upon  this  the  others  warned,  rebuked,  threat 
ened,  remonstrated,  and  begged.  In  vain.  The 
Senator  interposed  the  authority  of  years  and 
wisdom.  But  to  no  purpose.  With  much 
anxiety  he  sat  on  the  edge  of  the  crater,  look 
ing  for  the  result  and  expecting  a  tragedy. 

The  slope  down  which  they  ventured  was 
covered  with  loose  sand.  At  each  step  the 
treacherous  soil  slid  beneath  them.  It  was  a 
mad  and  highly  reprehensible  undertaking. 
Nevertheless  down  they  went — further  and  fur 
ther.  The  kind  heart  of  the  Senator  felt  a  pang 
at  every  step.  His  voice  sounded  mournfully 
through  the  rolling  smoke  that  burst  through  a 
million  crevices,  and  at  times  hid  the  advent 
urers  from  view.  But  down  they  went.  Some 
times  they  slid  fearfully.  Then  they  would 
wait  and  cautiously  look  around.  Sometimes  the 
vapors  covered  them  with  such  dense  folds  that 
they  had  to  cover  their  faces. 

"If  they  ain't  dashed  to  pieces  they'll  be  suf 
focated — sure!"  cried  the  Senator,  starting  up, 
and  unable  to  control  his  feelings.  "  I  can't 
stand  this,"  he  muttered,  and  he  too  stepped 
down. 

The  guides  looked  on  in  horror.  "Your 
blood  will  be  on  your  own  heads  !"  they  cried. 

As  the  Senator  descended  the  smoke  entered 
his  eyes,  mouth,  and  nostrils,  making  him  cough 
and  sneeze  fearfully.  The  sand  slid  ;  the  heat 
under  the  surface  pained  his  feet ;  every  step 
made  it  worse.  However,  he  kept  on  bravely. 
At  length  he  reached  the  spot  where  the  others 
were  standing. 


42 


THE  DODGE  CLUB  ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


THE  DESCENT   OP  VESUVIUS. 


At  the  foot  of  the  declivity  was  an  angular 
rock  which  jutted  out  for  about  twelve  feet.  It 
was  about  six  feet  wide.  Its  sides  went  clown 
precipitously.  The  Senator  walked  painfully 
to  where  they  were  standing.  It  was  a  fearful 
scene.  All  around  arose  the  sides  of  the  crater, 
black  and  rocky,  perpendicular  on  all  sides,  ex 
cept  the  small  slope  down  which  they  had  just 
descended — a  vast  and  gloomy  circumference. 
But  the  most  terrific  sight  lay  beneath. 

The  sides  of  the  crater  went  sheer  down  to  a 
great  depth  enclosing  a  black  abyss  which  in  the 
first  excitement  of  the  scene  the  startled  fancy 
might  well  imagine  extending  to  the  bowels  of 
the  earth  from  which  there  came  rolling  up  vast 
clouds  dense  black  sulphurous  which  at  times 
completely  encircled  them  shutting  out  every 
thing  from  view  filling  eyes  nose  mouth  with 
fumes  of  brimstone  forcing  them  to  hold  the 
tails  of  their  coats  or  the  skirts  it's  all  the 
same  over  their  faces  so  as  not  to  be  altogether 
suffocated  while  again  after  a  while  a  fierce 
blast  of  wind  driving  downward  would  hurl  the 
smoke  away  and  dashing  it  against  the  other 
side  of  the  crater  gather  it  up  in  dense  volumes 


of  blackest  smoke  in  thick  clouds  which  rolled 
up  the  flinty  cliffs  and  reaching  the  summit 
bounded  fiercely  out  into  the  sky  to  pass  on  and 
be  seen  from  afar  as  that  dread  pennant  of  Ve 
suvius  which  is  the  sign  and  symbol  of  its  mas 
tery  over  the  earth  around  it  and  the  inhabit 
ants  thereof  ever  changing  and  in  all  its  changes 
watched  with  awe  by  fearful  men  who  read  in 
those  changes  their  own  fate  now  taking  heart 
as  they  see  it  more  tenuous  in  its  consistency 
anon  shuddering  as  they  see  it  gathering  in 
denser  folds  and  finally  awe-stricken  and  all 
overcome  as  they  see  the  thick  black  cloud  rise 
proudly  up  to  heaven  in  a  long  straight  col 
umn  at  whose  upper  termination  the  colossal 
pillar  spreads  itself  out  and  shows  to  the  start 
led  gaze  the  dread  symbol  of  the  cypress  tree 

the  herald  of  earthquakes  eruptions  and 

There — I  flatter  myself  that  in  the  way 

of  description  it  would  not  be  easy  to  beat  the 
above.  I  just  throw  it  off  as  my  friend  Tit- 
marsh,  poor  fellow,  once  said,  to  show  what  I 
could  do  if  I  tried.  -I  have  decided  not  to  put 
punctuation  marks  there,  but  rather  to  let  each 
reader  supply  them  for  himself.  They  are  oft- 


THE  DODGE  CLUB  ;  Oil,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


en  in  the  way,  particularly  to  the  writer,  when 
he  has  to  stop  in  the  full  flow  of  a  description 
and  insert  them — 

But — 

We  left  our  friends  down  in  the  crater  of  Ve 
suvius.  Of  course  they  hurried  out  as  soon  as 
they  could,  and  mounting  the  treacherous  steep 
they  soon  regained  the  summit,  where  the  guides 
had  stood  bawling  piteously  all  the  time. 

Then  came  the  descent.  It  was  not  over  the 
lava  blocks,  but  in  'another  place,  which  was 
covered  with  loose  sliding  sand.  Away  they 
started. 

Buttons  ahead,  went  with  immense  strides 
down  the  slope.  At  every  step  the  sliding  sand 
carried  him  about  ten  feet  further,  so  that  each 
step  was  equal  to  about  twenty  feet.  It  was 
like  flying.  But  it  was  attended  by  so  many 
falls  that  the  descent  of  Buttons  and  Dick  was 
accomplished  as  much  by  sliding  and  rolling  as 
by  walking. 

The  Senator  was  more  cautious.  Having 
fallen  once  or  twice,  he  tried  to  correct  this 
tendency  by  walking  backward.  Whenever  he 
found  himself  falling  he  would  let  himself  go, 
and  thus,  on  his  hands  and  knees,  would  let 
himself  slide  for  a  considerable  distance.  This 
plan  gave  him  immense  satisfaction. 

"  It's  quite  like  coasting,"  said  he,  after  he 
had  reached  the  bottom;  "only  it  docs  come  a 
little  hard  on  the  trowsers." 

On  their  arrival  at  the  Hermitage  to  their 
surprise  they  saw  nothing  of  Mr.  Figgs.  The 
Doctor  had  been  sleeping  all  the  time,  but  the 
landlord  said  he  had  not  been  that  way.  As 


they  knew  that  the  neighborhood  of  Vesuvius 
was  not  always  the  safest  in  the  world,  they  all 
went  back  at  once  to  search  after  him. 

Arriving  at  the  foot  of  the  cone  they  went 
everywhere  shouting  his  name.  There  was  no 
response.  They  skirted  the  base  of  the  cone. 
They  walked  up  to  where  he  had  been.  They 
saw  nothing.  The  guides  who  had  thus  far 
been  with  them  now  said  they  had  to  go.  So 
they  received  their  pay  and  departed. 

"  Of  all  the  mean,  useless,  chicken-hearted 
dolts  that  ever  I  see,"  said  the  Senator,  "  they 
are  the  wust!" 

But  meanwhile  there  was  no  Figgs.  They 
began  to  feel  anxious.  At  last  Buttons,  who 
had  been  up  to  where  Mr.  Figgs  was  left, 
thought  he  saw  traces  of  footsteps  in  the  sand 
that  was  nearest.  He  followed  these  for  some 
time,  and  at  last  shouted  to  the  others.  The 
others  went  to  where  he  was.  They  saw  an 
Italian  with  him — an  ill-looking,  low-browed 
rascal,  with  villain  stamped  on  every  feature. 

"  This  fellow  says  he  saw  a  man  who  an 
swers  the  description  of  Figgs  go  over  in  that 
direction,"  said  Buttons,  pointing  toward  the  part 
of  the  mountain  which  is  furthest  from  the 
sea. 

"There?     What  for?" 

"I  don't  know." 

"Is  there  any  danger?" 

"I  think  so — Figgs  may  have  had  to  go — 
who  knows?" 

"Well,"  said  the  Senator,  "we  must  go  after 
him." 

"What  arms  have  you?"  said  the  Doctor. 
"  Don't  show  it  before  this  rascal." 

"  I  have  a  bowie-knife,"  said  Buttons. 

"  So  have  I,"  said  Dick. 

"  And  I,"  said  the  Senator,  "  am  sorry  to  say 
that  I  have  nothing  at  all." 

"Well,  I  suppose  we  must  go,"  said  the  Doc 
tor.  "My  revolver  is  something.  It  is  a  dou 
ble  revolver,  of  peculiar  shape." 

Without  any  other  thought  they  at  once  pre 
pared  to  venture  into  a  district  that  for  all  they 
knew  might  swarm  with  robbers.  They  had 
only  one  thought,  and  that  was  to  save  Figgs. 

"Can  this  man  lead  us  ?"  asked  Dick. 

"  He  says  he  can  take  us  along  where  he  saw 
Figgs  go,  and  perhaps  we  may  see  some  people 
who  can  tell  us  about  him." 

"Perhaps  we  can,"  said  the  Senator,  grimly. 

They  then  started  off  with  the  Italian  at  their 
head.  The  sun  was  by  this  time  within  an 
hour's  distance  from  the  horizon,  and  they  had 
no  time  to  lose.  So  they  walked  rapidly.  Soon 
they  entered  among  hills  and  rocks  of  lava, 
where  the  desolation  of  the  surrounding  coun 
try  began  to  be  modified  by  vegetation.  It  was 
quite  difficult  to  keep  their,  reckoning,  so  as  to 
know  in  what  direction  they  were  going,  but 
they  kept  on  nevertheless. 

All  of  them  knew  that  the  errand  was  a  dan 
gerous  one.  All  of  them  knew  that  it  would 
be  better  if  they  were  armed.  But  no  one  said 
any  thing  of  the  kind.  In  fact,  they  felt  such 


THE  DODGE  CLUB ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


confidence  in  their  own  pluck  and  resolution 
that  they  had  no  doubt  of  success. 

At  length  they  came  to  a  place  where  trees 
were  on  each  side  of  the  rough  path.  At  an 
opening  here  three  men  stood.  Buttons  at 
once  accosted  them  and  told  his  errand.  They 
looked  at  the  Americans  with  a  sinister  smile. 

"  Don't  be  afraid  of  us,"  said  Buttons,  quiet 
ly.  "  We're  armed  with  revolvers,  but  we  won't 
hurt  you.  Just  show  us  where  our  friend  is, 
for  we're  afraid  he  has  lost  his  way." 

At  this  strange  salutation  the  Italians  looked 
puzzled.  They  looked  at  their  guns,  and  then 
at  the  Americans.  Two  or  three  other  men 
came  out  from  the  woods  at  the  same  time,  and 
stood  in  their  rear.  At  length  as  many  as  ten 
men  stood  around  them. 

"What  are  you  staring  at?"  said  Buttons 
again.  "You  needn't  look  so  frightened. 
Americans  only  use  their  revolvers  against 
thieves." 

The  Doctor  at  this,  apparently  by  accident, 
took  out  his  revolver.  Standing  a  little  on  one 
side,  he  fired  at  a  large  crow  on  the  top  of  a 
tree.  The  bird  fell  dead.  He  then  fired  five 
other  shots  just  by  way  of  amusement,  laughing 
all  the  time  with  the  Senator. 

"You  see,"  said  he — "  ha,  ha — we're  in  a  fix 
— ha,  ha — and  I  want  to  show  them  what  a  re 
volver  is  ?" 

"  But  you're  wasting  all  your  shot." 

"Not  a  bit  of  it.     See!" 

And  saying  this  he  drew  a  second  chamber 
from  his  pocket,  and  taking  the  first  out  of  the 
pistol  inserted  the  other.  He  then  fired  anoth 
er  shot.  All  this  was  the  work  of  a  few  mo 
ments.  He  then  took  some  cartridges  and  filled 
the  spare  chamber  once  more. 

The  Italians  looked  on  this  display  in  great 
astonishment,  exchanging  significant  glances, 
particularly  when  the  Doctor  changed  the  cham 
bers.  The  Americans,  on  the  contrary,  took 
pood  care  to  manifest  complete  indifference. 
The  Italians  evidently  thought  they  were  all 
armed  like  the  Doctor.  Naturally  enough,  too, 
for  if  not,  why  should  they  venture  here  and 
talk  so  loftily  to  them  ?  So  they  were  puzzled, 
and  in  doubt.  After  a  time  one  who  appeared 
to  be  their  leader  stepped  aside  with  two  or 
three  of  the  men,  and  talked  in  a  low  voice,  aft 
er  which  he  came  to  Buttons  and  said : 

"  Come,  then,  and  we  will  show  you." 

"Go  on." 

The  Captain  beckoned  to  his  men.  Six  of 
them  went  to  the  rear.  Buttons  saw  the  ma 
noeuvre,  and  burst  into  roars  of  laughter.  The 
Italians  looked  more  puzzled  than  ever. 

"  Is  that  to  keep  us  from  getting  away  ?"  he 
cried — "  ha,  ha,  ha,  ha,  ha !  Well,  well !" 

"  He's  putting  a  guard  behind  us.  Laugh 
like  fury,  boys,"  said  Buttons,  in  English. 

Whereupon  they  all  roared,  the  tremendous 
laughter  of  the  Senator  coming  in  with  fearful 
effect. 

"  There's  nothing  to  laugh  at,"  said  the  man 
who  appeared  to  be  captain,  very  sulkily. 


"  It's  evident  that  you  Italians  don't  under 
stand  late  improvements,"  said  Buttons.  "  But 
come,  hurry  on." 

The  Captain  turned  and  walked- ahead  sullen- 

"  It's  all  very  well  to  laugh,"  said  the  Doctor, 
in  a  cheerful  tone  ;  "but  suppose  those  devils 
behind  us  shoot  us." 

"  I  think  if  they  intended  to  dp  that  the  Cap 
tain  would  not  walk  in  front.  No,  they  want 
to  take  us  alive,  and  make  us  pay  a  heavy  ran 
som." 

After  this  the  Club  kept  up  an  incessant  chat 
ter.  They  talked  over  their  situation,  but  could 
as  yet  decide  upon  nothing.  It  grew  dark  at 
length.  The  sun  went  down.  The  usual  rapid 
twilight  came  on. 

"  Dick,"  said  the  Doctor,  "  when  it  gets  dark 
enough  I'll  give  you  my  pistol,  so  that  you  may 
show  off  with  it  as  if  it  were  yours." 

"All  right,  my  son,"  said  Dick. 

Shortly  after,  when  it  was  quite  dark,  the 
Doctor  slipped  the  pistol  into  the  side-pocket  of 
Dick's  coat.  At  length  a  light  appeared  before 
them.  It  was  an  old  ruin  which  stood  upon  an 
eminence.  Where  they  were  not  a  soul  of 
them  could  tell.  Dick  declared  that  he  smelt 
salt  water. 

The  light  which  they  saw  came  from  the 
broken  windows  of  a  dilapidated  hall  belonging 
to  the  building.  They  went  up  some  crumbling 
steps,  and  the  Captain  gave  a  peculiar  knock  at 
the  door.  A  woman  opened  it.  A  bright 
light  streamed  out.  Dick  paused  for  a  mo 
ment,  and  took  the  Doctor's  pistol  from  his 
pocket.  He  held  it  up,  and  pretended  to  ar 
range  the  chamber.  Then  he  carelessly  put  it 
in  his  pocket  again. 

"You  haven't  bound  them  ?"  said  the  woman 
who  opened  the  door  to  the  Captain. 

"  Meaning  us,  my  joy?"  said  Buttons,  in  Ital 
ian.  "  Not  just  yet,  I  believe,  and  not  for  some 
time.  But  how  do  you  all  do  ?" 

The  woman  stared  hard  at  Buttons,  and  then 
at  the  Captain.  There  were  eight  or  ten  women 
here.  It  was  a  large  hall,  the  roof  still  entire, 
but  with  the  plaster  all  gone.  A  bright  fire 
burned  at  one  end.  Torches  burned  around. 
On  a  stool  near  the  fire  was  a  familiar  form — 
a  portly,  well-fed  form — with  a  merry  face — a 
twinkle  in  his  eye — a  pipe  in  his  mouth — calm 
ly  smoking — apparently  quite  at  home,  though 
his  feet  were  tied — in  short,  Mr.  Figgs ! 

"Figgs,  my  boy!" 

One  universal  shout  and  the  Club  surrounded 
their  companion.  In  an  instant  Buttons  cut  his 
bonds. 

"  Bless  you — bless  you,  my  children  !"  cried 
Figgs.  "But  how  the  (Principal  of  Evil)  did 
you  get  here  ?  These  are  brigands.  I've  just 
been  calculating  how  heavy  a  bill  I  would  have 
to  foot." 

The  brigands  saw  the  release  of  Figgs,  and 
stood  looking  gloomily  at  their  singular  prison 
ers,  not  quite  knowing  whether  they  were  pris 
oners  or  not,  not  knowing  what  to  do.  Each 


THE  DODGE  CLUB  ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


45 


member  of  the  Club  took  the  most  comforta 
ble  seat  he  could  find  near  the  fire,  and  began 
talking  vehemently.  Suddenly  Buttons  jump 
ed  up. 

"A  thousand  pardons  —  I  really  forgot  that 
there  were  ladies  present.  Will  you  not  sit 
here  and  give  us  the  honor  of  your  company  ?" 

He  made  a  profound  bow  and  looked  at 
several  of  them.  They  looked  puzzled,  then 
pleased  ;  then  they  all  began  to  titter. 

"  Signor  makes  himself  very  much  at  home," 
said  one,  at  length. 

"  And  where  could  there  be  a  pleasanter 
place  ?  This  old  hall,  this  jolly  old  fire,  and 
this  delightful  company  !" 

Another  bow.  The  Captain  looked  very  sul 
len  still.  He  was  evidently  in  deep  perplexity. 

"  Come,  cheer  up  there!  "said  Buttons.  "We 
won't  do  you  any  harm  ;  we  won't  even  com 
plain  to  the  authorities  that  we  found  our  friend 
here.  Cheer  up  !  Have  you  any  thing  to  eat, 
most  noble  Captain?" 

The  Captain  turned  away. 

Meanwhile  Figgs  had  told  the  story  of  his 
capture.  After  resting  for  a  while  on  the  slope 
he  prepared  to  descend,  but  seeing  sand  further 
away  he  went  over  toward  it  and  descended 
there.  Finding  it  very  dangerous  or  difficult 
to  go  down  straight  he  made  the  descent  ob 
liquely,  so  that  when  he  reached  the  foot  of  the 
oone  he  was  far  away  from  the  point  at  which 
he  had  started  to  make  the  ascent.  Arriving 
there,  he  sat  down  to  rest  after  his  exertions. 
Some,  men  came  toward  him,  but  he  did  not 


think  much  about  it.  Suddenly,  before  he  knew 
what  was  up,  he  found  himself  a  prisoner.  He 
had  a  weary  march,  and  was  just  getting  com 
fortable  as  they  came  in. 

As  they  sat  round  the  fire  they  found  it  very 
comfortable.  Like  many  evenings  in  Italy,  it 
was  damp  and  quite  chilly.  They  laughed  and 
talked,  and  appeared  to  be  any  thing  but  cap 
tives  in  a  robber's  hold.  The  Captain  had  been 
out  for  some  time,  and  at  length  returned.  He 
was  now  very  cheerful.  He  came  laughingly 
up  to  the  fire. 

"Well,  Signori  Americani,  what  do  you  think 
of  your  accommodation  ?" 

"  Delightful !  charming  !"  cried  Buttons  and 
Dick. 

"  If  the  ladies  would  only  deign  to  smile  on 
us — " 

"  Aha  !  You  are  a  great  man  for  the  ladies  !" 
said  the  Captain. 

"Who  is  not?"  said  Buttons,  sententiously. 

After  a  few  pleasant  words  the  Captain  left 
again. 

"  He  has  some  scheme  in  his  villainous  head," 
said  Buttons. 

"To  drug  us,"  said  the  Doctor. 

"  To  send  for  others,"  said  Dick. 

' '  To  wait  till  we  sleep,  and  then  fall  on  us, " 
said  Mr.  Figgs. 

"  Well,  gentlemen,"  said  the  Senator,  draw 
ing  himself  up,  "  we're  more  than  a  match  for 
them.  Why,  what  are  these  brigands  ?  Is 
there  a  man  of  them  who  isn't  a  poor,  misera 
ble,  cowardly  cuss  ?  Not  one.  If  we  are  capt- 


MB.   FIGGS. 


THE  DODGE  CLUB  ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


T11E   LADIES. 


ured  by  such  as  these  we  deserve  to  be  cap 
tives  all  our  lives." 

"  If  we  don't  get  off  soon  we'll  have  a  good 
round  sum  to  pay,"  said  Mr.  Figgs. 

"  And  that  I  object  to,"  said  Buttons  ;  "  for 
I  promised  my  Governor  solemnly  that  I  wouldn't 
spend  more  than  a  certain  sum  in  Europe,  and 
I  won't." 

"For  my  part,"  said  the  Doctor,  "I  can't 
afford  it." 

"  And  I  would  rather  use  the  amount  which 
they  would  ask  in  some  other  way,"  said  Dick. 

"That's  it,  boys!  You're  plucky.  Go  in! 
We'll  fix  their  flints.  The  American  eagle  is 
soaring,  gentlemen — let  him  ascend  to  the  ze 
nith.  Go  it !  But  mind  now — don't  be  too 
hasty.  Let's  wait  for  a  time  to  see  further  de 
velopments." 

"  Ilichar'd,  my  boy,  will  you  occupy  the  time 
by  singing  a  hymn?"  continued  the  Senator. 
"  I  see  a  guitar  there." 

Dick  quietly  got  up,  took  the  guitar,  and, 
tuning  it,  began  to  sing.  The  brigands  were 
still  in  a  state  of  wonder.  The  women  looked 
shy.  Most  of  the  spectators,  however,  were 
grinning  at  the  eccentric  Americans.  Dick 
played  and  sang  a  great  quantity  of  songs,  all 
of  a  comic  character. 

The  Italians  were  fond  of  music,  of  course. 
Dick  had  a  good  voice.  Most  of  his  songs  had 
choruses,  and  the  whole  Club  joined  in.  The 
Italians  admired  most  the  nigger  songs.  "  Oh, 
Susannah !"  was  greeted  with  great  applause. 
So  was  "  Doo-dah  ;"  and  the  Italians  themselves 
joined  energetically  in  the  chorus.  But  the 
song  that  they  loved  best  was  "Ole  Virginny 
Shore."  This  they  called  for  over  and  over, 
and  as  they  had  quick  ears  they  readily  caught 
the  tune ;  so  that,  finally,  when  Dick,  at  their 
earnest  request,  sang  it  for  the  seventh  time, 
they  whistled  the  air  all  through,  and  joined  in 
with  a  thundering  chorus.  The  Captain  came 
in  at  the  midst  of  it,  and  listened  with  great  de 
light.  After  Dick  had  laid  down  his  instru 
ment  he  approached  the  Americans. 


"  Well,  ole  hoss,"  said  the  Senator,  "won't 
you  take  an  arm-chair?" 

"What  is  it?"  said  the  Captain  to  Buttons. 

"  He  wants  to  know  if  your  Excellency  will 
honor  him  by  sitting  near  him." 

The  Captain's  eye  sparkled.  Evidently  it 
met  his  wishes.  The  Americans  saw  his  de 
light. 

"I  should  feel  honored  by  sitting  beside  the 
illustrious  stranger,"  said  he.  "  It  was  what  I 
came  to  ask.  And  will  you  allow  the  rest  of 
these  noble  gentlemen  to  sit  here  and  partici 
pate  in  your  amusement  ?" 

"  The  very  thing,"  said  Buttons,  "  which  we 
have  been  trying  to  get  them  to  do,  but  they 
won't.  Now  we  are  as  anxious  as  ever,  but 
still  more  anxious  for  the  ladies.'' 

"Oh,  the  ladies!"  said  the  Captain;  "they 
are  timid." 

Saying  this  he  made  a  gesture,  and  five  of 
his  men  came  up.  The  whole  six  then  sat  with 
the  five  Americans.  The  Senator  insisted  that 
the  Captain  should  sit  by  his  side.  Yet  it  was 
singular.  Each  one  of  the  men  still  kept  his 
gun.  No  notice  was  taken  of  this,  however. 
The  policy  of  the  Americans  was  to  go  in  for 
utter  jollity.  They  sat  thus  : 

The  Captain. 

The  Senator. 
Bandit  Number  1. 

Mr.  Figgs. 
Bandit  Number  2. 

The  Doctor. 
Bandit  Number  3. 

Dick. 
Bandit  Number  4. 

Buttons. 
Bandit  Number  5. 

Five  members  of  the  Club.  Six  bandits.  In 
addition  to  these,  four  others  stood  armed  at 
the  door.  The  women  were  at  a  distance. 

But  the  sequel  must  be  left  to  another  chap 
ter. 


THE  DODGE  CLUB  ;*OK,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


CHAPTER  XIV. 

MAGNIFICENT  ATTITUDE  OF  THE  SENATOR  ;  BRIL- 
•      LIANCY  OF  BUTTONS  ;  AND  PLUCK  OF  THE   OTH 
ER  MEMBERS  OF  THE  CLUB  :    BY  ALL   OF  WHICH 
THE  GREATEST  EFFECTS  ARE  PRODUCED. 

"  BOYS,"  said  the  Senator,  assuming  a  gay 
tone,  "  it's  evident  these  rascals  have  planned 
this  arrangement  to  attack  us;  but  I've  got  a 
plan  by  which  we  can  turn  the  tables.  Now 
laugh,  all  of  you."  A  roar  of  laughter  arose. 
"  I'll  tell  it  in  a  minute.  Whenever  I  stop,  you 
all  laugh,  so  that  they  may  not  think  that  we  are 
plotting."  Another  roar  of  laughter.  "But 
tons,  talk  Italian  as  hard  as  you  can;  pre 
tend  to  translate  what  I  am  saying;  make  up 
something  funny,  so  as  to  get  them  laugh 
ing;  but  take  good  care  to  listen  to  what  I 
say." 

"  All  right,"  said  Buttons. 

"Ha!  ha!  ha!  ha!  ha!"  said  the  others. 

Now  the  Senator  began  to  divulge  his  plan, 
and  Buttons  began  to  talk  Italian,  pretending  to 
translate  what  the  Senator  said.  To  do  this 
required  much  quickness,  and  a  vivid  imagina 
tion,  with  a  sense  of  the  ridiculous,  and  many 
other  qualities  too  numerous  to  mention.  For 
tunately  Buttons  had  all  these,  or  else  the  Club 
would  not  have  acted  precisely  as  it  did  act ; 
and  perhaps  it  might  not  have  been  able  to 
move  along  in  the  capacity  of  a  Club  any  longer, 
in  which  case  it  would,  of  course,  have  had  no 
further  adventures;  and  then  this  history  would 
not  have  been  written ;  and  whether  the  world 
would  have  been  better  off  or  worse  is  more  tiian 
I  can  say,  I'm  sure. 


[What  the  Senator  said.] 
"Boys,  look  at  the*e  dev 
ils,  one  ou  each  side  of  us. 
They  have  arranged  some 
signal,  and  when  it  is  given 
they  will  spring  at  us.  Look 
sharp  for  your  lives,  and  be 
ready  to  do  what  I  say. 
Buttons,  listen,  and  when 
you  don't  hear  look  at  me, 
and  I'll  repeat  it." 

[Club — "Ha!  ha!  ha! 
ha!  ha!"] 

"  My  idea  is  to  turn  the 
tables  on  these  varmints. 
They  put  themselves  in  our 
power.  What  tliey  have 
arranged  for  themselves  will 
do  for  us  just  as  well  as  if 
we  planned  it  all.  In  fact, 
if  we  had  tried  we  could  not 
have  adjusted  the  present 
company  better." 

[Club.— "Ha!  ha!  ha! 
ha!  ha:"] 

"Listen  now,  Buttons. 
We  will  arrange  a  signal, 
and  at  a  certain  word  we 
will  fall  on  our  neighbors 
an  1  do  with  them  as  they 
propose  doing  with  us.  But 
first  let  us  arrange  carefully 
ai:out  the  signal;  for  every 
thing  depends  on  that." 


[C'w1) "Hal  ha!  ha! 

ha!  ha!"] 

"First,  we  must  keep  up 
our  uproar  and  merriment 
to  as  gri  at  an  extent  as  we 
can,  but  not  veiy  long.  Let 
it  be  wild,  mad,  boisterous, 
but  short.  It  will  distract 
these  vagabonds,  and  throw 
them  off  their  guard.  The 
first  thing  on  the  pro 
gramme,  then,  is  merri 
ment.  Laugh  as  loud  and 
long  as  you  can." 


[What  Buttons  said  he  said.] 

"  He  says,  most  uobla 
Captain,  and  gentlemen, 
that  he  is  desperately  hun 
gry  ;  that  he  can't  get  what 
he  wants  to  eat.  He  gen 
erally  eats  dr  ed  snakes,  and 
the  supply  he  brought  from 
the  Great  American  desert 
is  exhausted ;  he  wants 
more,  and  will  have  it." 

[Sensation  among  ban 
dits.] 

"  He  says  he  wouldn't 
have  come  out  here  to-day, 
but  had  a  little  difficulty 
just  before  he  joined  otir 
party.  He  was  landing 
from  the  American  ehip  of 
war,  and  on  stepping  on 
shore  a  man  trod  on  his  foot, 
whereupon  he  put  him  into 
the  water,  and  held  him 
there  till  he  was  drowned." 

[Bandits  looking  more  re 
spectfully.] 

'•  It  makes  him  feel 
amused,  he  fays,  when  he 
thinks  how  odd  that  guide 
looked  at  him  when  he 
made  him  go  down  into  the 
crater  of  Vesuvius;  gave 
him  five  minutes  to  say  hia 
prayers,  and  then  lifted  him 
up  in  the  air  and  pitched 
him  down  to  the  bottom. 
He  thinks  he  is  falling  still.' ' 

[Bandits  exchange  glan 
ces.] 

"He  doesn't  know  but 
what  he'll  have  a  little 
trouble  about  a  piiest  he 
killed  last  night.  He  was 
in  a  church,  and  was  walk 
ing  about  whistling,  when 
a  priest  came  up  and  order 
ed  him  out;  whereupon  hs 
drew  his  revolver,  and  put 
all  six  of  the  bulleta  in  the 
priebt's  head." 


THE  BANDITS   OAl"iUlitD. 


I) 


43 


THE  DODGE  CLUB ;  OB,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


[What  the  Senator  said.] 
[Club.— "Ha!    ha!    ha! 
ha!  ha!"] 

"The  next  thing  is,  to 
have  some  Hinging.  They 
sc:em  to  like  our  glorious 
national  songs.  Give  them 
some  of  them.  Let  tilt:  first 
one  be  '  Old  Virginny.'  " 


[What  Buttons  said  he  said.] 
[Bandits  cross  themselves, 
and  look  serious.] 

''  He  heard  that  the  priest 
was  not  dead.  As  he  always 
makes  sure  work,  he  intends 
to  look  in  in  the  morning, 
and  if  he's  alive,  he'll  cut 
his  throat,  and  make  all  his 
.  attendants  dance  to  the  tune 
of  l  Old  Virginny.1 " 


Wlub.— "Ha!    ha!   ha! 
ha!  hal"] 

Buttons  had  to  work  on  that  word  "Old 
Virginny,"  for  the  quick  ears  of  the  Italians 
had  caught  it.  Bandits  cross  themselves  again. 

Captain. — "  I  don't  believe  a  word  of  it.  It's 
impossible." 

Bandit  No.  5. — "  He  looks  like  it,  any  way." 

In  fact,  the  Senator  did  look  like  it.  His 
hair  tinged  to  an  unnatural  hue  by  the  sulphur 
of  Vesuvius,  his  square,  determined  jaw,  his 
heavy,  overhanging  brow,  marked  him  as  one 
who  was  capable  of  any  desperate  enterprise. 


[What  the  Senator  said.] 
"Next  and  last,  Dick, 
you  are  to  sing  '  Yankee 
Doodle.'  You  know  the 
words  about  'coming  to 
town  riding  on  a  pony.' 
You  know  that  verse  ends 
with  an  Italian  word.  I  am 
particular  about  this,  for  you 
might  sing  the  wrong  verse. 
Do  you  understand,  all  of 
you  ?  If  so,  wink  your  eyes 
twice." 


[The  Club  all  winked 
twice.  Then,  as  usual : 

"Ha!  ha!  ha!  ha! 
ha!"] 

"  Look  at  me.  There  are 
six.  I  will  take  two;  each 
of  you  take  one — the  man  on 
your  right,  remember.  As 
Dick,  in  singing,  comes  to 
that  word,  each  of  you  go 
at  your  man.  Buttons,  you 
hear,  of  course." 


[C7M&.— "Ha!    ha!   ha! 
ha!  hal"] 


"Boys,  arrange  in  your 
minds  what  to  do.  Grab 
the  gun,  and  put  your  man 
down  backward.  I'm  al 
most  ashamed  of  the  game, 
it's  so  ea^y.  Look  at  these 
boobies  by  me.  They  are 
like  children.  No  muscle. 
The  fellows  at  the  end  won't 
dare  to  shoot  for  fear  of 
wounding  their  own  men. 

C/n&.-'-Ha!  ha!  ha! 
ha!  ha!"] 

Captain,  coldly. — "  That  crow  didn't  blow 
up." 

Buttons. — "  Oh  yes  it  did.  It  was  dark,  and 
you  didn't  notice.  Go  get  it  to-morrow,  exam 
ine  it,  and  you  will  find  traces  of  the  exploded 
shell." 

Bandit  No.  4. — "Santa  Maria!  What  lies 
this  giant  tells  his  friends !  and  they  all  laugh. 
They  don't  believe  him." 


[What  Buttons  said  he  said.] 

"  He  says  there  is  no 
danger  for  him,  however, 
for  foreigners  are  in  terror 
of  the  tune  of  'Yankee 
Doodle.'  If  he  were  arrest 
ed  by  the  Government,  the 
American  Admiral  would  at 
once  send  ashore  a  file  of 
marines  with  an  'ultima 
tum,'  a  'Columbiad,'  a 
'  spanker  boom,'  a  '  Web 
ster's  Unabridged,'  and  a 
'  brachycatalectic,'  to  de 
mand  his  surrender  at  the 
cannon's  mouth." 

[Great  sensation  among 
the  bandits  at  the  formida 
ble  arms  of  American  ma 
rines.] 

"  They  think  in  town  that 
he  is  the  Devil,  because  he 
has  killed  seven  men  in 
duels  since  he  camo,  and 
has  never  been  wounded. 
People  don't  know  the  great 
American  invention,  worn 
next  the  skin,  which  makes 
the  body  impervious  to  bul 
lets." 

iCnptnin,  sneering. — "  I 
don't  believe  it." 

liandit  No.  3 "  I  don't 

know.  They  invented  the 
revolver.  if  I  only  had 
one!"] 

"  He's  made  up  his  mind 
to  fro  and  take  part  in  the 
war  in  Lombardy.  He  will 
raise  a  band  of  Americans, 
all  clot.hrd  in  the  great  shot- 
proof  shirt,  nnd  armed  with 
revolvers  like  ours,  that 
shoot  twelve  times,  and  have 
bullets  like  bomb-shells, 
that  burst  inside  of  a  man 
and  blow  him  to  pieces." 


Bandit  No.  1 . — ' '  Well,  that  revolver  is  enough 
for  me  ;  and  they  all  have  them." 

The  above  conversation  was  all  carried  on 
very  rapidly,  and  did  not  take  up  much  time. 

At  once  the  Club  proceeded  to  carry  out  the 
Senator's  plan.  First  they  talked  nonsense, 
and  roared  and  laughed,  and  perfected  their 
plan,  and  thus  passed  about  ten  minutes.  Then 
Buttons  asked  the  Italians  if  they  wished  more 
music. 

"Answer,  gallant  Captain  of  these  Kings 
of  the  Koad.  Will  you  hear  our  foreign 
songs  ?" 

.  "Most  gladly,"  said  the  gallant  Captain. 
"  There  will  yet  be  time  before  we  get  our  sup 
per.'1 

A  sinister  gleam  in  his  eye  as  he  said  this 
about  the  supper  did  not  escape  the  notice  of 
Buttons.  Thereupon  he  handed  the  guitar  to 
Dick,  and  the  latter  began  to  sing  once  more 
the  strains  of  "  Ole  Virginny."  The  Italians 
showed  the  same  delight,  and  joined  in  a  roar 
ing  chorus.  Even  the  men  by  the  door  stood 
yelling  or  whistling  as  Dick  sang. 

Lastly,  Dick  struck  up  the  final  song.  The 
hour  had  come! 

"Yankee  Doodle  came  to  town 
To  buy  himself  a  pony, 
Stuck  a  feather  in  his  hat 
And  called  it — Slaccaroni  !" 

As  the  song  began  each  man  had  quietly 
braced  himself  for  one  grand  effort.  At  the " 
sound  of  the  last  word  the  effect  was  tremen 
dous. 

The  Senator  threw  his  mighty  arms  rotmd 
the  Captain  and  the  other  bandit.  They  were 
both  small  men,  as  indeed  Italians  are  general 
ly,  and  beside  his  colossal  frame  they  were  like 
boys  to  a  grown  man.  He  held  them  as  in  a 
vice,  and  grasping  their  hands,  twisted  them 
back  till  their  guns  fell  from  their  grasp.  As 
he  hurled  the  affrighted  ruffians  to  the  floor, 
the  guns  crashed  on  the  stone  pavement,  one  of 
them  exploding  in  its  fall.  He  then  by  sheer 
strength  jerked  the  Captain  over  on  his  face, 
and  threw  the  other  man  on  him  face  down 
ward.  This  done  he  sat  on  them,  and  turned 
to  see  what  the  others  were  doing. 

Buttons  had  darted  at  No.  5  who  was  on  his 
right,  seized  his  gun  and  thrown  him  backward. 
He  was  holding  him  down  now  while  the  fellow 
was  roaring  for  help. 

Dick  had  done  about  the  same  thing,  but  had 
not  yet  obtained  possession  of  the  gun.  He 
was  holding  the  Doctor's  pistol  to  the  bandit's 
head,  and  telling  him  in  choice  Italian  to  drop 
his  gun,  or  he  would  send  him  out  of  the  world 
with  twelve  bullets. 

The  Doctor  was  all  right.  He  was  calmly 
seated  on  Bandit  No.  3,  with  one  hand  holding 
the  bandit's  gun  pointed  toward  the  door,  and 
the  other  grasping  the  ruffian's  throat  in  a  death 
like  clutch.  The  man's  face  was  black,  and  he 
did  not  move.  . 

Mr.  Figgs  had  not  been  so  successful*-  Being 
fat,  he  had  not  been  quick  enoii^hT  He  was 


THE  DODGE  CLUB  ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


49 


holding  the  bandit's  gun,  and  aiming  blows  at 
his  face. 

"  Doctor,"  said  the  Senator,  "  your  man's  all 
right.  Give  it  to  Figgs's  man." 

The  Doctor  sprang  up,  seized  Figgs's  man  by 
the  throat,  just  as  he  staggered  back,  and 
brought  him  do\vn. 

The  whole  thing  had  been  done  in  an  incred 
ibly  short  time.  The  robbers  had  been  taken 
1>y  complete  surprise.  In  strength  they  were 
far  inferior  to  their  assailants.  Attacked  as  they 
were  so  unexpectedly  the  success  of  the  Ameri 
cans  was  not  very  wonderful.  The  uproar  was 
tremendous.  The  women  were  most  noisy. 
At  first  all  were  paralyzed.  Then  wild  shrieks 
rang  through  the  hall.  They  yelled,  they  shout 
ed,  they  wrung  their  hands. 

The  four  bandits  at  the  end  of  the  hall  stood 
for  a  moment  horror-struck.  Then  they  raised 
their  guns.  But  they  dared  not  fire.  They 
might  shoot  their  own  men.  Suddenly  Dick, 
who  had  got  the  gun  which  he  wished,  looked 
at  the  door,  and  seeing  the  guns  levelled  he 
fired  the  revolver.  A  loud  scream  followed. 
One  of  the  men  fell.  The  women  rushed  to 
take  care  of  him.  The  other  three  ran  off. 

"Doctor,"  said  the  Senator,  "have  you  a 
rope?  Tie  that  man's  hands  behind  him." 

The  Doctor  took  his  handkerchief,  twisted  it, 
and  tied  the  man's  hands  as  neatly  and  as  firm 
ly  as  though  they  were  in  handcuffs.  He  then 
went  to  Buttons,  got  a  handkerchief  from  him, 
and  tied  up  his  man  in  the  same  way.  Then 
Dick's  man  was  bound.  At  that  moment  a 
bullet  fired  through  one  of  the  windows  grazed 
the  head  of  Mr.  Figgs. 

"Dick,"  said  the  Senator,  "go  out  and  keep 
guard." 

Dick  at  once  obeyed.  The  women  screamed 
and  ran  as  he  came  along. 

Then  the  two  men  whom  the  Senator  had 
captured  were  bound.  After  a  while  some 
pieces  of  rope  and  leather  straps  were  found  by 
Buttons.  With  these  all  the  bandits  were  se 
cured  more  firmly.  The  men  whom  the  Sena 
tor  had  captured  were  almost  lifeless  from  the 
tremendous  weight  of  his  manly  form.  They  i 
made  their  captives  squat  down  in  one  corner, 
while  the  others  possessed  themselves  of  their 
guns  and  watched  them.  The  wretches  look 
ed  frightened  out  of  their  wits.  They  were 
Neapolitans  and  peasants,  weak,  feeble,  nerve 
less. 

"It's  nothing  to  boast  of,"  said  the  Senator, 
contemptuously,  as  he  looked  at  the  slight  fig 
ures.  "They're  a  poor  lot — small,  no  muscle, 
no  spirit,  no  nothing." 

The  poor  wretches  now  began  to  whine  and 
cry. 

"  Oh,  Signore,"  they  cried,  appealing  to  But 
tons.  "  Spare  our  lives !" 

At  that  the  whole  crowd  of  women  came 
moaning  and  screaming. 

"  Back  !"  said  Buttons. 

'•Oh,  Rignori,  for  the  sake  of  Heaven  spare 
them.  Spare  our  husbands !" 


"Back,  all  of  you!  We  won't  hurt  any  one 
if  you  all  keep  quiet." 

The  women  went  sobbing  back  again.  The 
Doctor  then  went  to  look  at  the  wounded  man 
by  the  door.  The  fellow  was  trembling  and 
weeping.  All  Italians  weep  easily. 

The  Doctor  examined  him  and  found  it  was 
only  a  flesh  wound.  The  women  were  full  of 
gratitude  as  the  Doctor  bound  up  his  arm  after 
probing  the  wound,  and  lifted  the  man  on  a  rude 
couch.  From  time  to  time  Dick  would  look  in 
at  the  door  to  see  how  things  were  going  on. 
The  field  was  won. 

"Well,"  said  the  Senator,  "the  other  three 
have  probably  run  for  it.  They  may  bring 
others  back.  At  any  rate  we  had  better  hurry 
off.  We  are  armed  now,  and  can  be  safe.  But 
what  ought  we  to  do  with  these  fellows  ?" 

"  Nothing,"  said  Buttons. 

"Nothing?" 

"  No.  They  probably  belong  to  the  '  Camor- 
ra,'  a  sort  of  legalized  brigandage,  and  if  we 
had  them  all  put  in  prison  they  would  be  let  out 
the  next  day." 

"  Well,  I  must  say  I'd  rather  not.  They're  a 
mean  lot,  but  I  don't  wish  them  any  harm. 
Suppose  we  make  them  take  us  out  to  the  road 
within  sight  of  the  city,  and  then  let  them  go  ?'' 

"  Well." 

The  others  all  agreed  to  this. 

"  We  had  better  start  at  once  then." 

"  For  my  pan,"  said  Mr.  Figgs,  "I  think  we 
had  much  better  get  something  to  eat  before  we 
go." 

"Pooh!  We  can  get  a  good  dinner  in  Na 
ples.  We  may  have  the  whole  country  around 
us  if  we  wait,  and  though  I  don't  care  for  my 
self,  yet  I  wouldn't  like  to  see  one  of  you  fall, 
boys." 

So  it  was  decided  to  go  at  once.  One  maa 
still  was  senseless.  He  was  left  to  the  care  of 
the  women  after  being  resuscitated  by  the  Doc 
tor.  The  Captain  and  four  bandits  were  taken 
away. 

"Attend,"  said  Buttons,  sternly.  "You 
must  show  us  the  nearest  way  to  Naples.  If 
yon  deceive  us  you  die.  If  you  show  us  our 
way  we  may  perhaps  let  you  go." 

The  women  all  crowded  around  their  hus 
bands,  screaming  and  yelling.  In  vain  Buttons 
told  them  there  was  no  danger.  At  last  he 
said — 

"  You  come  along  too,  and  make  them  show 
us  the  way.  You  will  then  return  here  with 
them.  The  sooner  the  better.  Haste!" 

The  women  gladly  assented  to  this. 

Accordingly  they  all  started,  each  one  of  the 
Americans  carrying  a  gun  in  one  hand,  and 
holding  the  arm  of  a  bandit  with  the  other. 
The  women  went  ahead  of  their  own  accord, 
eager  to  put  an  end  to  their  fears  by  getting  rid 
of  such  dangerous  gnests.  After  a  walk  of 
about  half  an  hour  they  came  to  the  public  road 
which  ran  near  to  the  sea. 

"  I  thought  I  smelt  the  sea-air,"  said  Dick. 

They  had  gone  by  the  other  side  of  Vesuvius. 


r.o 


THE  DODGE  CLUB ;  OK,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


"This  is  the  road  to  Naples,  Signori,"  said 
the  women. 

"  Ah  !  And  you  won't  feel  safe  till  you  get 
the  men  away.  Very  well,  you  may  go.  We 
can  probably  take  care  of  ourselves  now." 

The  women  poured  forth  a  torrent  of  thanks 
and  blessings.  The  men  were  then  allowed  to 
go,  and  instantly  vanished  into  the  darkness. 
At  first  it  was  quite  dark,  but  after  a  while  the 
moon  arose  and  they  walked  merrily  along, 
though  very  hungry. 

Before  they  reached  their  hotel  it  was  about 
one  o'clock.  Buttons  and  Dick  stayed  there. 
As  they  were  all  sitting  over  the  repast  which 
they  forced  the  landlord  to  get  for  them,  Dick 
suddenly  struck  his  hand  on  the  table. 

"  Sold  !"  he  cried. 

"What?" 

"They've  got  our  handkerchiefs." 

"  Handkerchiefs  !"  cried  Mr.  Figgs,  ruefully, 
"  why,  I  forgot  to  get  back  my  purse." 


"  Your  purse !  Well,  let's  go  out  to-mor 
row — " 

"Pooh!  it's  no  matter.  There  were  only 
three  piastres  in  it.  I  keep  my  circular  bill  and 
larger  money  elsewhere.'' 

"Well,  they've  made  something  out  of  us 
after  all.  Three  piastres  and  five  handker 
chiefs." 

The  Senator  frowned.  ' '  I've  a  precious  good 
mind  to  go  out  there  to-morrow  and  make  them 
disgorge,"  said  he.  "I'll  think  it  over." 


CHAPTER  XV. 

DOLORES  ONCE  MORE. — A  PLEASANT  CONVERSA 
TION. — BUTTONS  LEARNS  MORE  OF  HIS  YOUNG 
FRIEND. — AFFECTING  FAREWELL. 

As  the  Club  intended  to  leave  for  Rome  al 
most  immediately,  the  two  young  men  in  the 
Strado  di  San  Bartollo  were  prepared  to  settle 
with  their  landlord. 

When  Buttons  and  Dick  packed   up  their 


modest  valises  there  was  a  general  excitement 
in  the  house  ;  and  when  they  called  for  their 
little  bill  it  appeared,  and  the  •\yhole  family 
along  with  it.  The  landlord  presented  it  with 
a  neat  bow.  Behind  him  stood  his  wife.  On 
his  left  the  big  dragoon.  And  on  his  right 
Dolores. 

Such  was  the  position  which  the  enemy  took 
up. 

Buttons  took  up  the  paper  and  glanced  at  it. 

"What  is  this?" 

"Your  bill." 

"My  bill?" 

"  Yes,  Signore." 

"  Yes,"  repeated  Dolores,  waving  her  little 
hand  at  Buttons. 

Something  menacing  appeared  in  the  atti 
tude  and  tone  of  Dolores.  Had  she  changed  ? 
Had  she  joined  the  enemy  ?  What  did  all  this 
mean  ? 

"  What,  did  you  say  you  would  ask  for  this 
room  when  I  came  here  ?"  Buttons  at  length 
asked. 

"I  don't  recollect  naming  any  price,"  said 
the  landlord,  evasively. 

"  I  recollect,"  said  Dolores,  decidedly.  "  He 
didn't  name  any  price  at  all." 

"  Good  Heavens  !"  cried  Buttons,  aghast,  and 
totally  unprepared  for  this  on  the  part  of  Do 
lores,  though  nothing  on  the  part  of  the  land 
lord  could  hare  astonished  him.  In  the  brief 
space  of  three  weeks  that  worthy  had  been  in 
the  habit  of  telling  him  on  an  average  about 
four  hundred  and  seventy-seven  downright  lies 
per  d;iy. 

"You  told  me,"  said  Buttons,  with  admira 
ble  calmness,  "that  it  would  be  two  piastres  a 
week." 

"  Two  piastres  !  Two  for  both  of  you  !  Im 
possible  !  You  might  as  well  say  I  was  in 
sane.  " 

"  Two  piastres !"  echoed  Dolores,  in  indig 
nant  tones — "only  think!  and  for  this  mag 
nificent  apartment !  the  best  in  the  house — ele 
gantly  furnished,  and  two  gentlemen  !  Why, 
what  is  this  that  he  means  ?" 

"  Et  tu  Brute  !"  sighed  Buttons. 

"  Signore!"  said  Dolores. 

"Didn't  he,  Dick?" 

"  He  did,"  said  Dick;  "of  course  he  did." 

"Oh,  that  wmicciuolo  will  say  any  thing," 
said  Dolores,  contemptuously  snapping  her  fin 
gers  in  Dick's  face. 

"  Why,  Sinogre.  Look  you.  How  is  it  pos 
sible?  Think  what  accommodations!  Gnze 
upon  that  bed !  Gaze  upon  that  furniture  ! 
Contemplate  that  prospect  of  the  busy  street !'' 

"  Why,  it's  the  most  wretched  room  in  town, " 
cried  Buttons.  "I've  been  ashamed  to  ask  my 
friends  here." 

"  Ah,  wretch  !"  cried  Dolores,  with  flashing 
eyes.  "You  well  know  that  you  were  never 
so  well  lodged  at  home.  This  miserable  !  This 
a  room  to  be  ashamed  of!  Away,.  American 
savage  !  And  your  friends,  who  are  they  ?  Do 
you  lodge  with  the  lazaroni?" 


THE  DODGE  CLUB;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


"  You  said  that  you  would  charge  two  pi 
astres.  I  will  pay  no  more ;  no,  not  half  a 
carline.  How  dare  you  send  me  a  bill  for 
eighteen  piastres  ?  I  will  pay  you  six  piastres 
for  the  three  weeks.  Your  bill  for  eighteen  is 
a  cheat.  I  throw  it  away.  Behold  I" 

And  Buttons,  tearing  the  paper  into  twenty 
fragments,  scattered  them  over  the  floor. 

"  Ah !"  cried  Dolores,  standing  before  him, 
with  her  arms  folded,  and  her  face  all  aglow 
with  beautiful  anger;  "you  call  it  a  cheat,  do 
you?  You  would  like,  would  you  not,  to  run 
off  and  pay  nothing?  That  is  the  custom,  I 
suppose,  in  America.  But  you  can  not  do  that 
in  this  honest  country." 

"  Signore,  you  may  tear  up  fifty  bills,  but  you 
must  pay,"  said  the  landlord,  politely. 

"If  you  come  to  travel  you  should  bring 
money  enough  to  take  you  along,"  said  Dolores. 

"Then  I  would  not  have  to  take  lodgings 
fit  only  for  a  Sorrento  beggar,"  said  Buttons, 
somewhat  rudely. 

"  They  are  too  good  for  an  American  beg 
gar,"  rejoined  Dolores,  taking  a  step  nearer  to 
him,  and  slapping  her  little  hands  together  by 
way  of  emphasis. 

"Is  this  the  maid,"  thought  Buttons,  "that 
hung  so  tenderly  on  my  arm  at  the  masquerade  ? 
the  sweet  girl  who  has  charmed  so  many  even 
ings  with  her  innocent  mirth  ?  Is  this  the  fair 
young  creature  who — " 

"  Are  you  going  to  pay,  or  do  you  think  you 
can  keep  us  waiting  forever?"  cried  the  fair 
young  creature,  impatiently  and  sharply. 

"  No  more  than  six  piastres,"  replied  Buttons. 

"Be  reasonable,  Signore.  Be  reasonable," 
said  the  landlord,  with  a  conciliatory  smile ; 
"  and  above  all,  be  calm — be  calm.  Let  us 
have  no  contention.  I  feel  that  these  honor 
able  American  gentlemen  have  no  wish  but  to 
act  justly,"  and  he  looked  benignantly  at  his 
family. 

"  I  wish  I  could  feel  the  same  about  these 
Italians,"  said  Buttons. 

"  You  will  soon  feel  that  these  Italians  are 
determined  to  have  their  due,"  said  Dolores. 

"They  shall  have  their  due  and  no  more." 

"Come,  Buttons,"  said  Dick,  in  Italian,  "let 
us  leave  this  old  rascal." 

"Old  rascal?"  hissed  Dolores,  rushing  up 
toward  Dick  as  though  she  would  tear  his  eyes 
our,  and  stamping  her  little  foot.  "Old  ras 
cal  !  Ah,  piccolo  Di-a-vo-lo  !" 

"Come,"  said  the  landlord;  "I  have  affec 
tion  for  you.  I  wish  to  satisfy  you.  I  have 
always  tried  to  satisfy  and  please  you." 

"  The  ungrateful  ones  ! "  said  Dolores.  "  Have 
we  not  all  been  as  friendly  to  them  as  we  never 
were  before  ?  And  now  they  try  like  vipers  to 
sting  us." 

"  Peace,  Dolores,"  said  the  landlord,  majes 
tically.      "Let  us  all  be  very  friendly.     Come,  ' 
good  American  gentlemen,  let  us  have  peace. 
"  What  now  will  yon  pay?" 

"  Stop !"  cried  Dolores.  "  Do  you  bargain  ? 
Why,  they  will  try  and  make  you  take  a  half- 


Two  PIASTEES! 


carline  for  the  whole  three  weeks.  I  am 
ashamed  of  you.  I  will  not  consent." 

"  How  much  will  you  give  ?"  said  the  land 
lord,  once  more,  without  heeding  his  daughter. 

"  Six  piastres,"  said  Buttons. 

"  Impossible !" 

"  When  I  came  here  I  took  good  care  to 
have  it  understood.  You  distinctly  said  two 
piastres  per  week.  You  may  find  it  very  con 
venient  to  forget.  I  find  it  equally  convenient 
to  remember." 

"Try — tiy  hard,  and  perhaps  you  will  re 
member  that  we  offered  to  take  nothing.  Oh 
yes,  nothing — absolutely  nothing.  Couldn't 
think  of  it,"  said  Dolores,  with  a  multitude  of 
ridiculous  but  extremely  pretty  gestures,  that 
made  the  little  witch  charming  even  in  her  ras 
cality. — "Oh  yes,  nothing" — a  shrug  of  the 
shoulders — "we  felt  so  honored" — spreading 
out  her  hands  and  bowing. — "A  great  Ameri 
can  ! — a  noble  foreigner!" — folding  her  arms, 
and  strutting  up  and  down. — "  Too  much  hap 
piness  !" — here  her  voice  assumed  a  tone  of  most 
absurd  sarcasm. — "We  wanted  to  entertain 
them  all  the  rest  of  our  lives  for  nothing '' — a 
ridiculous  grimace — "or  perhaps  your  sweet 
conversation  has  been  sufficient  pay — ha  ?"  and 
she  pointed  her  little  rosy  taper  finger  at  But 
tons  as  though  she  would  transfix  him. 

Buttons  sighed.  "Dolores!"  said  he,  "I 
always  thought  you  were  my  friend.  I  didn't 
think  that  you  would  turn  against  me." 

"Ah,  infamous  one  !  and  foolish  too  !  Did 
you  think  that  I  could  ever  help  you  to  cheat 
my  poor  parents  ?  Was  this  the  reason  why 


THE  DODGE  CLUB  ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


you  sought  me  ?  Dishonest  one  !  I  am  only 
an  innocent  girl,  but  I  can  understand  your  vil 
lainy." 

"  I  think  you  understand  a  great  many 
things,"  said  Buttons,  mournfully. 

"And  to  think  that  one  would  seek  my 
friendship  to  save  his  money  !" 

Buttons  turned  away.  "  Suppose  I  stayed 
here  three  weeks  longer,  how  much  would  you 
charge?"  he  asked  the  landlord. 

That  worthy  opened  his  eyes.  His  face 
brightened. 

"Three  weeks  longer?  Ah— I— Well- 
Perhaps — " 

"  Stop !"  cried  Dolores,  placing  her  hand 
over  her  father's  mouth — "  not  a  word.  Don't 
you  understand  ?  He  don't  want  to  stay  three 
minutes  longer.  He  wants  to  get  you  into  a 
new  bargain,  and  cheat  you." 

"Ah!"  said  the  landlord,  with  a  knowing 
wink.  "  But,  my  child,  you  are  really  too 
harsh.  You  must  not  mind  her,  gentlemen. 
She's  only  a  willful  young  girl — a  spoiled  child 
— a  spoiled  child." 

"Her  language  is  a  little  strong,"  said  But 
tons,  "  but  I  don't  mind  what  she  says." 

"  You  may  deceive  my  poor,  kind,  simple, 
honest,  unsuspecting  father,"  said  she,  "but 
you  can't  deceive  me." 

"Probably  not." 

"Buttons,  hadn't  we  better  go  ?"  said  Dick ; 
"  squabbling  here  won't  benefit  us." 

"Well,"  said  Buttons,  slowly,  and  with  a 
lingering  look  at  Dolores. 

But  as  Dolores  saw  them  stoop  to  take  their 
valises  she  sprang  to  the  door-way. 

"  They're  going !  They're  going  !"  she  cried. 
"  And  they  will  rob  us.  Stop  them." 

"Signore,"  said  Buttons,  "here  are  six  pi 
astres.  I  leave  them  on  the  table.  You  will 
get  no  more.  If  you  give  me  any  trouble  I  will 
summon  you  before  the  police  for  conspiracy 
against  a  traveller.  You  can't  cheat  me.  You 
need  not  try." 

So  saying,  he  quietly  placed  the  six  piastres 
on  the  table,  and  advanced  toward  the  door. 

"  Signore!  Signore  !"  cried  the  landlord,  and 
he  put  himself  in  his  way.  At  a  sign  from 
Dolores  the  big  dragoon  came  also,  and  put 
himself  behind  her. 

"  You  shall  not  go,"  she  cried.  "You  shall 
never  pass  through  this  door  till  you  pay." 

"  Who  is  going  to  stop  us  ?''  said  Buttons. 

"  My  father,  and  this  brave  soldier  who  is 
armed,"  said  Dolores,  in  a  voice  to  which  she 
tried  to  give  a  terrific  emphasis. 

"  Then  I  beg  leave  to  say  this  much,"  said 
Buttons ;  and  he  looked  with  blazing  eyes  full 
in  the  face  of  the  "  brave  soldier."  "  I  am  not 
a  'brave  soldier,'  and  I  am  not  armed;  but  my 
friend  and  I  have  paid  our  bills,  and  we  are 
going  through  that  door.  If  you  dare  to  lay 
so  much  as  the  weight  of  your  finger  on  me  I'll 
show  you  how  a  man  can  use  his  fists." 

Now  the  Continentals  have  a  great  and  a 
wholesome  dread  of  the  English  fist,  and  con 


sider  the  American  the  same  flesh  and  blood. 
They  believe  that  "  le  bogues  "  is  a  necessary 
part  of  the  education  of  the  whole  Anglo-Saxon 
race,  careful  parents  among  that  people  being 
intent  upon  three  things  for  their  children,  to 
wit: 

(1.)  To  eat  Rosbifand.  BifLek,  but  especially 
the  former. 

(2.)  To  use  certain  profane  expressions,  by 
which  the  Continental  can  always  tell  the  An 
glo-Saxon. 

(3.)  To  STRIKE  FKOM  THE  SHOULDER  !  !  ! 

Consequently,  when  Buttons,  followed  by 
Dick,  advanced  to  the  door,  the  landlord  and 
the  ' '  brave  soldier  "  slipped  aside,  and  actually 
allowed  them  to  pass. 

Not  so  Dolores. 

She  tried  to  hound  her  relatives  on;  she 
stormed ;  she  taunted  them  ;  she  called  them 
cowards ;  she  even  went  so  far  as  to  run  after 
Buttons  and  seize  his  valise.  Whereupon  that 
young  gentleman  patiently  waited  without  a 
word  till  she  let  go  her  hold.  He  then  went 
on  his  way. 

Arriving  at  the  foot  of  the  stairway  he  look 
ed  back.  There  was  the  slender  form  of  the 
young  girl  quivering  with  rage. 

"  Addio,  Dolores  !"  in  the  most  mournful  of 
voices. 

"Scelerato!"  was  the  response,  hissed  out 
from  the  prettiest  of  lips. 

The  next  morning  the  Dodge  Club  left  Na 
ples. 


THE   BRAVE   SOI.DIEB. 


THE  DOtiGE  CLUB ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


CHAPTER  XVI. 

DICK  RELATES  A  FAMILY   LEGEXD. 

"  DICK,"  said  the  Senator,  as  they  rolled  over 
the  road,  "  spin  a  yarn  to  beguile  the  time." 

Dick  looked  modest. 

The  rest  added  their  entreaties. 

"  Oh,  well,"  said  Dick,  "  since  you're  so  very 
urgent  it  would  be  unbecoming  to  refuse.  A 
story  ?  Well,  what  ?  I  will  tell  you  about  my 
maternal  grandfather. 

"My  maternal  grandfather,  then,  was  once 
out  in  Hong  Kong,  and  had  saved  up  a  little 
money.  As  the  climate  did  not  agree  with 
him  he  thought  he  would  come  home ;  and  at 
length  an  American  ship  touched  there,  on  board 
of  which  he  went,  and  he  saw  a  man  in  the 
galley ;  so  my  grandfather  stepped  up  to  him 
and  asked  him : 

"  'Are  you  the  mate ?' 

"  'No.  I'm  the  man  that  boils  the  mate,1 
said  the  other,  who  was  also  an  Irishman. 

"So  he  had  to  go  to  the  cabin,  where  he 
found  the  captain  and  mate  writing  out  clear 
ance  papers  for  the  custom-house. 

"'Say,  captain,  will  you  cross  the  sea  to 
plow  the  raging  main  ?'  asked  my  grandfather. 

"  '  Oh,  the  ship  it  is  ready  and  the  wind  is 
fair  to  plow  the  raging  main  !'  said  the  captain. 
Of  course  my  grandfather  at  once  paid  his  fare 
without  asking  credit,  and  the  amount  was  three 
hundred  and  twenty-seven  dollars  thirty-nine 
cents. 

"Well,  they  set  sail,  and  after  going  ever 
so  many  thousand  miles,  or  hundred — I  forget 
which,  but  it  don't  matter — a  great  storm  arose, 
a  typhoon  or  simoon,  perhaps  both ;  and  after 
slowly  gathering  up  its  energies  for  the  space 
of  twenty-nine  days,  seven  hours,  and  twenty- 
three  minutes,  without  counting  the  seconds,  it 
burst  upon  them  at  exactly  forty-two  minutes 
past  five,  on  the  sixth  day  of  the  week.  Need 
I  say  that  day  was  Friday  ?  Now  my  grand 
father  saw  all  the  time  how  it  was  going  to  end ; 
and  while  the  rest  were  praying  and  shrieking 
he  had  cut  the  lashings  of  the  ship's  long-boat 
and  stayed  there  all  the  time,  having  put  on 
board  the  nautical  instruments,  two  or  three 
fish-hooks,  a  gross  of  lucifer  matches,  and  a 
sauce-pan.  At  last  the  storm  struck  the  ship, 
as  I  have  stated,  and  at  the  first  crack  away 
went  the  vessel  to  the  bottom,  leaving  my  grand 
father  floating  alone  on  the  surface  of  the 
ocean. 

"  My  grandfather  navigated  the  long-boat 
fifty-two  days,  three  hours,  and  twenty  minutes 
by  the  ship's  chronometer ;  caught  plenty  of 
fish  with  his  fish-hooks  ;  boiled  sea-water  in  his 
sauce-pan,  and  boiled  all  the  salt  away,  making 
his  fire  in  the  bottom  of  the  boat,  which  is  a 
very  good  place,  for  the  fire  can't  burn  through 
without  touching  the  water,  which  it  can't  burn  ; 
•  and  finding  plenty  of  fuel  in  the  boat,  which  he 
gradually  dismantled,  taking  first  the  thole-pins, 
then  the  seats,  then  the  taffrail,  and  so  on.  This 
sort  of  thing,  though,  could  not  last  forever,  and 


at  last,  just  in  the  nick  of  time,  he  came  across 
a  dead  whale. 

"  It  was  floating  bottom  upward,  covered 
with  barnacles  of  very  large  size  indeed  ;  and 
where  his  fins  projected  there  were  two  little 
coves,  one  on  each  side.  Into  the  one  on  the 
lee-side  he  ran  his  boat,  of  which  there  was 
nothing  left  but  the  stem  and  stern  and  two 
side  planks. 

' '  My  grandfather  looked  upon  the  whale  as 
an  island.  It  was  a  very  nice  country  to  one 
who  had  been  so  long  in  a  boat,  though  a  little 
monotonous.  The  first  thing  that  he  did  was 
to  erect  the  banner  of  his  country,  of  which  he 
happened  to  have  a  copy  on  his  pocket-hand 
kerchief;  which  he  did  by  putting  it  at  the  end 
of  an  oar  and  sticking  it  in  the  ground,  or  the 
flesh,  whichever  you  please  to  call  it.  He  then 
took  an  observation,  and  proceeded  to  make 
himself  a  house,  which  he  did  by  whittling  up 
the  remains  of  the  long-boat,  and  had  enough 
left  to  make  a  table,  a  chair,  and  a  boot-jack. 
So  here  he  stayed,  quite  comfortable,  for  forty- 
three  days  and  a  half,  taking  observations  all 
the  time  with  great  accuracy ;  and  at  the  end 
of  that  time  all  his  house  was  gone,  for  he  had 
to  cut  it  up  for  fuel  to  cook  his  meals,  and  noth 
ing  was  left  but  half  of  the  boot-jack  and  the 
oar  which  served  to  uphold  the  banner  of  his 
country.  At  the  end  of  this  time  a  ship  came 
up. 

"  The  men  of  the  ship  did  not  know  what  on 
earth  to  make  of  this  appearance  on  the  water, 
where  the  American  flag  was  flying.  So  they 
bore  straight  down  toward  it. 

"  '  I  see  a  sight  across  the  sea,  hi  ho  cheerly 
men !'  remarked  the  captain  to  the  mate,  in  a 
confidential  manner. 

"'Methinks  it  is  my  own  countrie,  hi  ho 
cheerly  men!'  rejoined  the  other,  quietly. 

"  '  It  rises  grandly  o'er  the  brine,  hi  ho  cheer 
ly  men  !'  said  the  captain. 

"  '  And  bears  aloft  our  own  ensign,  hi  ho 
cheerly  men  !'  said  the  mate. 

"  As  the  ship  came  up  my  grandfather  placed 
both  hands  to  his  mouth  in  the  shape  of  a  speak 
ing-trumpet,  and  cried  out :  '  Ship  ahoy  across 
the  wave,  with  a  way-ay-ay-ay-ay !  Storm 
along !' 

"  To  which  the  captain  of  the  ship  respond 
ed  through  his  trumpet:  'Tis  I,  my  messmate 
bold  and  brave,  with  a  way-ay-ay-ay-ay !  Storm 
along." 

"At  this  my  grandfather  inquired:  'What 
vessel  are  you  gliding  on  ?  Pray  tell  to  me  its 
name.' 

"  And  the  captain  replied  :  '  Our  bark  it  is  a 
whaler  bold,  and  Jones  the  captain's  name.' 

"  Thereupon  the  captain  came  on  board  the 
whale,  or  on  shore,  whichever  you  like — I  don't 
know  which,  nor  does  it  matter — he  came,  at 
any  rate.  My  grandfather  shook  hands  with 
him  and  asked  him  to  sit  down.  But  the  cap 
tain  declined,  saying  he  preferred  standing. 

"  'Well,'  said  my  grandfather,  '  I  called  on 
you  to  see  if  you  would  like  to  buy  a  whale.' 


THE  DODGE  CLUB  ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


NU   A   WHALE. 


"Wa'al,  yes,  I  don't  mind.  I'm  in  that  line 
myself.' 

"  '  What'll  you  give  for  it?' 
"  '  What'll  you  take  for  it  ?' 
"  '  What'll  you  give  ?' 
"'What'll  you  take?' 
"  '  What'll  you  give  ?' 
"/What'll  you  take?' 

f  give  ?'         give  ?' 

•t  t\*n.  t»n  take?'        take?' 

"  'What  11  you <         „,  .     „, 

I  give?          give  ? 

(  take  ?'         take  ?' 

"  Twenty-five  minutes  were  taken  up  in  the 
repetition  of  this  question,  for  neither  wished  to 
commit  himself. 

"  '  Have  you  had  any  offers  for  it  yet  ?'  asked 
Captain  Jones  at  last. 

"  '  Wa'al,  no  ;  can't  say  that  I  have.' 

"  'I'll  give  as  much  as  any  body.' 

•' '  How  much  ?' 

'"What'll  you  take?' 

"'What'll  you  give?' 

"  '  What'll  you  take  ?' 

"'What'll  you  give?' 

"  '  What'll  you  take  ?' 

C  give  ?'  give  ?' 
j  take?'  take?' 
)  give?'  give?' 
[  take  ?'  take  ?' 

"Then  my  grandfather,  after  a  long  delib 
eration,  took  the  captain  by  the  arm  and  led 
him  all  around,  showing  him  the  country,  as 
one  may  say,  enlarging  upon  the  (iae  points, 
and  doing  as  all  good  traders  are  bound  to  do 
when  they  find  themselves  face  to  face  with  a 
customer. 


'What'll 


give  ? ' 
take?' 
give?' 
take?' 


"To  which  the  end  was  : 
"  'Wa'al,  what'll  you  take?' 
"  '  What'll  you  give  ?' 
f  give?' 

"  'What'll  you  \   T'  .   ?, 

[  take  ?' 

"  '  Well,'  said  my  grandfather,  'I  don't  know 
as  I  care  about  trading  after  all.  I  think  I'll 
wait  till  the  whaling  fleet  comes  along.  I've 
been  waiting  for  them  for  some  time,  and  they 
ought  to  be  here  soon." 

"  'You're  not  in  the  right  track,'  said  Cap 
tain  Jones. 

"  '  Yes,  I  am.' 

"  '  Excuse  me.' 

"'Ex-cuse  7/fe,'  said  my  grandfather.  'I 
took  an  observation  just  before  you  came  in 
sight,  and  I  am  in  lat.  47°  22'  20",  long.  150° 
15'  55".' 

"Captain  Jones's  face  fell.  My  grandfather 
poked  him  in  the  ribs  and  smiled. 

" '  I'll  tell  you  what  I'll  do,  as  I  don't  care, 
after  all,  about  waiting  here.  It's  a  little  damp, 
and  I'm  subject  to  rheumatics.  I'll  let  you  have 
the  whole  thing  if  you  give  me  twenty-five  per 
cent,  of  the  oil  after  it's  barreled,  barrels  and  all.' 

"  The  captain  thought  for  a  moment. 

"  'You  drive  a  close  bargain.' 

"  'Of course.' 

"  '  Well,  it'll  save  a  voyage,  and  that's  some 
thing.' 

"  '  Something!  Bless  your  heart !  ain't  that 
every  thing?' 

"'Well,  I'll  agree.  Come  on  board,  and 
we'll  make  out  the  papers.' 


THE  DODGE  CLUB  ;  OB,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


55 


So  my  grandfather  went  on  board,  and  they 
made  out  the  papers ;  and  the  ship  hauled  up 
alongside  of  the  whale,  and  they  went  to  work 
cutting,  and  slashing,  and  hoisting,  and  burn 
ing,  and  boiling,  and  at  last,  after  ever  so  long  a 
time  —  I  don't  remember  exactly  how  long  — 
the  oil  was  all  secured,  and  my  grandfather,  in 
a  few  months  afterward,  when  he  landed  at 
Nantucket  and  made  inquiries,  sold  his  share 
of  the  oil  for  three  thousand  nine  hundred  and 
fifty-six  dollars  fifty-six  cents,  which  he  at  once 
invested  in  business  in  New  Bedford,  and  start 
ed  off  to  Pennsylvania  to  visit  his  mother.  The 
old  lady  didn't  know  him  at  all,  he  was  so 
changed  by  sun,  wind,  storm,  hardship,  sickness, 
fatigue,  want,  exposure,  and  other  things  of 
that  kind.  She  looked  coldly  on  him. 

'  Who  are  you  ?' 

'  Don't  you  know  ?' 

1  No.' 

'Think.' 

'  Have  you  a  strawberry  on  your  arm  ?' 

'No.' 

'  Then — you  are — you  are — YOU  ARE — my 
own — my  long-lost  son!' 


"  And  she  caught  him  in  her  arms. 

"  Here  endeth  the  first  part  of  my  grandfa 
ther's  adventures,  but  he  had  many  more,  good 
and  bad  ;  for  he  was  a  remarkable  man,  though 
I  say  it ;  and  if  any  of  you  ever  want  to  hear 
more  about  him,  which  I  doubt,  all  you've  got 
to  do  is  to  say  so.  But  perhaps  it's  just  as  well 
to  let  the  old  gentleman  drop,  for  his  advent 
ures  were  rather  strange ;  but  the  narration 
of  them  is  not  very  profitable,  not  that  I  go  in 
for  the  utilitarian  theory  of  conversation  ;  but  I 
think,  on  the  whole,  that,  in  story-telling,  fic 
tion  should  be  preferred  to  dull  facts  like  these, 
and  so  the  next  time  I  tell  a  story  I  will  make 
one  up." 

The  Club  had  listened  to  the  story  with  the 
gravity  which  should  be  manifested  toward  one 
who  is  relating  family  matters.  At  its  close  the 
Senator  prepared  to  speak.  He  cleared  his  throat: 

"  Ahem  !  Gentlemen  of  the  Club  !  our  ad 
ventures,  thus  far,  have  not  been  altogether 
contemptible.  We  have  a  President  and  a  Sec 
retary  ;  ought  we  not  also  to  have  a  Kecording 
Secretary — a  Historian  ?" 

"Ay  !"  said  all,  very  earnestly. 

"Who,  then,  shall  it  be?" 

All  looked  at  Dick. 

"I  see  there  is  but  one  feeling  among  us 
all,"  said  the  Senator.  "Yes,  Richard,  you 
are  the  man.  Your  gift  of  language,  your  fancy, 
your  modesty,  your  fluency —  But  I  spare  you. 
From  this  time  forth  you  know  your  duty." 

Overcome  by  this  honor,  Dick  was  compelled 
to  bow  his  thanks  in  silence  and  hide  his  blush 
ing  face. 

"  And  now,"  said  Mr.  Figgs, eagerly,  "I  want 
to  hear  the  Higgins  Story  .'" 

The  Doctor  turned  frightfully  pale.  Dick 
began  to  fill  his  pipe.  The  Senator  looked 
earnestly  out  of  the  window.  Buttons  looked 
at  the  ceiling. 

"What's  the  matter?"  said  Mr.  Figgs. 

"  What  ?"  asked  Buttons. 

"The  Higgins  Story?" 

The  Doctor  started  to  his  feet.  His  excite 
ment  was  wonderful.  He  clenched  his  fist. 

"  I'll  quit  I  I'm  going  back.  I'll  join  you 
at  Home  by  another  route.  I'll — " 

"  No,  you  won't !"  said  Buttons  ;  "  for  on  a 
journey  like  this  it  would  be  absurd  to  begin 
the  Higgins  Story." 

"Pooh!"  said  Dick,  "it  would  require  nine 
teen  days  at  least  to  get  through  the  introducto 
ry  part. " 

"When,  then,  can  I  hear  it?"  asked  Mr. 
Figgs,  in  perplexity. 


56 


THE  DODGE  CLUB ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


CHAPTER  XVII. 


NIGHT  ON  THE  ROAD. — THE  CLUB  ASLEEP. — THEY 
ENTER  ROME.  —  THOUGHTS  ON  APPROACHING 
AND  ENTERING  "  THE  ETERNAL  CITY." 


CHAPTER  XVIII. 

A    LETTER    BY    DICK,    AND    CRITICISMS    OF    HIS 
FRIENDS. 

THEY  took  lodgings  near  the  Piazza  di  Spag- 
na.  This  is  the  best  part  of  Rome  to  live  in, 
which  every  traveller  will  acknowledge.  Among 
other  advantages,  it  is  perhaps  the  only  clean 
spot  in  the  Capital  of  Christendom. 

Their  lodgings  were  peculiar.  Description  is 
quite  unnecessary.  They  were  not  discovered 
without  toil,  and  not  secured  without  warfare. 
Once  in  possession  they  .had  no  reason  to  com 
plain.  True,  the  conveniences  of  civilized  life 
do  not  exist  there — but  who  dreams  of  conven 
ience  in  Rome  ? 

On  the  evening  of  their  arrival  they  were  sit 
ting  in  the  Senator's  room,  which  was  used  as 
the  general  rendezvous.  Dick  was  diligently 
writing. 

"Dick,"  said  the  Senator,  "what  are  you 
about  ?" 

"Well,"  said  Dick,  "the  fact  is,  I  just  hap 
pened  to  remember  that  when  I  left  home  the 
editor  of  the  village  paper  wished  me  to  write 
occasionally.  I  promised,  and  he  at  once  pub 
lished  the  fact  in  enormous  capitals.  I  never 
thought  of  it  till  this  evening,  when  I  happened 


to  find  a  scrap  of  the  last  issue  of  his  paper  in 
my  valise.  I  recollected  my  promise,  and  I 
thought  I  might  as  well  drop  a  line." 

"  Read  what  you  have  written." 

Dick  blushed  and  hesitated. 

"Nonsense !  Go  ahead,  my  boy !"  said  But 
tons. 

Whereupon  Dick  cleared  his  throat  and  be 
gan: 

"  ROME,  May  30,  1859. 

"  MK.  EDITOR, — Rome  is  a  subject  which  is  neither  un 
interesting  nor  alien  to  the  present  age." 

' '  That's  a  fact,  or  you  wouldn't  be  here  writ 
ing  it,"  remarked  Buttons. 

"  Iu  looking  over  the  past,  our  view  is  too  often  bound 
ed  by  the  Middle  Ages.  We  consider  that  period  as  the 
chaos  of  the  modern  world,  when  it  lay  covered  with 
darkness,  until  the  Reform  came  and  said,  '  Let  there  be 
light!'" 

"  Hang  it,  Dick !  be  original  or  be  nothing." 

"  Yet,  if  the  life  of  the  world  began  anywhere,  it  was 
in  Rome.  Assyria  is  nothing  to  me.  Egypt  is  but  a  spec 
tacle  !" 

"  If  you  only  had  enough  funds  to  carry  you 
there  you'd  change  your  tune.  But  go  on." 

"  But  Rome  arises  before  me  as  the  parent  of  the  latter 
time.  By  her  the  old  battles  between  Freedom  and  Des 
potism  were  fought  long  ago,  and  the  forms  and  principles 
of  Liberty  came  forth,  to  pass,  amid  many  vicissitude:*, 
down  to  a  new-born  day." 

"  There  !     I'm  coming  to  the  point  now  !" 
"About  time,  I  imagine.     The  editor  will 
get  into  despait." 

"  There  is  but  one  fitting  approach  to  Rome.  By  any 
other  roud  the  majesty  of  the  Old  Capital  is  lost  in  the  le^  s- 
er  grandeur  of  the  Medieval  City.  Whoever  goes  there  let 
him  come  up  from  Naples  and  enter  by  the  Jerusalem 
Gate." 

"Jerusalem  fiddlesticks!  Why,  there's  no 
such  gate!" 

"There  the  very  spirit  of  Antiquity  sits  enthroned  to 
welcome  the  traveller,  and  all  the  solemn  Past  sheds  hur 
influences  over  his  soul — " 

"  Excuse  me  ;  there  is  a  Jerusalem  Gate." 
"Perhaps  so — in  Joppa." 

"There  the  Imperial  City  lies  in  the  sublimity  of  ruin. 
It  is  the  Rome  of  our  dreams — the  ghost  of  a  dead  and 
buried  Empire  hovering  over  its  own  neglected  grave  !" 

"  Dick,  it's  not  fair  to  work  off  an  old  college 
essay  as  European  correspondence." 

u  Nothing  may  be  seen  but  desolation.  The  waste  Cam- 
pagna  stretches  its  arid  surface  away  to  the  Alban  mount 
ains,  uninhabited,  and  forsaken  of  man  and  beast.  F>  r 
the  dust  and  the  works  and  the  monuments  of  millions  lie 
here,  mingled  in  the  common  corruption  of  the  tomb,  and 
the  life  of  the  present  age  shrinks  away  in  terror.  Long 
lin  s  of  lofty  aqueducts  come  slowly  down  from  the  Alb:;n 
hills,  but  these  crumbled  stones  and  broken  arches  tell  a 
story  more  eloquent  than  human  voice. 

u  The  walls  arise  before  us,  but  there  is  no  city  beyond. 
The  desolation  Unit  reigns  in  the  Campagna  has  entered 
here.  The  palace  of  the  noble,  the  haunts  of  pleasure,  the 
resorts  of  the  multitude,  the  garrison  of  the  soldier,  have 
crumbled  to  dust,  and  mingled  together  in  one  common 
ruin.  The  soil  on  which  we  tread,  which  gives  birth  to 
trees,  shrubs,  and  wild  flowers  without  number,  is  but  nn 
assemblage  of  the  disintegrated  atoms  of  stones  and  mortn'r 
that  once  arose  on  high  in  the  form  of  palace,  pyramid,  or 
temple." 

"  Dick,  I  advise  you  to  write  all  your  letters 
before  you  see  the  places  you  speak  of.  You've 
no  idea  how  eloquent  you  can  be!" 

"Now  if  we  pass  on  in  this  direction,  we  soon  come  to  a 
spot  which  is  the  centre  of  the  world — the  place  where 
most  of  all  we  must  look  when  we  search  for  the  source  of 
much  that  is  valuable  in  our  age. 


THE  DODGE  CLUB ;  OB,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


57 


"It  is  a  rude  and  a  neglected  spot.  At  one  end  rises  a 
rock  crowned  with  houses  ;  on  one  side  are  a  few  mean  edi 
fices,  mingled  with  masses  of  tottering  ruins;  on  the  other  ' 
a  hill  formed  altogether  of  crumbled  atoms  of  bricks,  mor 
tar,  and  precious  marbles.  In  the  midst  are  a  few  rough 
columns  blackened  by  time  and  exposure.  The  soil  is 
deep,  and  in  places  there  are  pits  where  excavations  have 
been  made.  Rubbish  lies  around  :  bits  of  straw,  and  grass, 
and  hay,  and  decayed  leather,  and  broken  bottles,  and  old 
bones.  A  few  dirty  shepherds  puss  along,  driving  lean  and 
miserable  sheep.  Further  up  is  a  cluster  of  wine-carts, 
nth  still  more  curious  horses  and  drivers. 

"What  is  this  place? — what  those  ruins,  these  fallen 
monuments,  these  hoary  arches,  these  ivy-covered  walls  ? 
What?  This  is— 

"  '  The  field  of  freedom,  faction,  fame,  and  blood  ; 

IIiTc-  a  proud  people's  passions  were  exhaled, 
From  the  first  hour  of  Empire  in  the  bud 

To  that  when  further  worlds  to  conquer  failed  ; 
The  Vorum  where  the  immortal  accents  glow, 
And  still  the  eloquent  air  breathes,  burns  with  Cicero  !'  ' 
'  Yet  if  you  go  up  to  one  of  those  people  and  ask  this 
question,  he  will  answer  you  and  tell  you  the  only  name 
he  knows — '  The  Cow  Market  /" " 

"  Is  that  all  ?"  inquired  Buttons,  as  Dick  laid 
down  his  paper. 

"  That's  all  I've  written  as  yet." 

Whereupon  Buttons  clapped  his  hands  to  ex 
press  applause,  and  all  the  others  laughingly  fol 
lowed  his  example. 

"Dick,"  said  the  Senator,  after  a  pause, 
"  what  j'ou  have  written  sounds  pretty.  But 
look  at  the  facts.  Here  you  are  writing  a  de 
scription  of  Rome  before  you've  seen  any  thing 
of  the  place  at  all.  All  that  you  have  put  in 
that  letter  is  what  you  have  read  in  books  of 
travel.  I  mention  this  not  from  blame,  but 
merely  to  show  what  a  wrong  principle  travellers 
go  on.  They  don't  notice  real  live  facts.  Now 
I've  promised  the  editor  of  our  paper  a  letter. 
As  soon  as  I  write  it  I'll  read  it  for  you.  The 
style  won't  be  equal  to  yours.  But,  if  I  write, 
I'll  be  bound  to  tell  something  new.  Senti 
ment,"  pursued  the  Senator,  thoughtfully,  "is 
playing  the  dickens  with  the  present  age.  What 
we  ought  to  look  at  is  not  old  ruins  or  pictures, 
but  men — men — live  men.  I'd  rather  visit  the 
cottage  of  an  Italian  peasant  than  any  church  in 
the  country.  I'd  rather  see  the  working  of  the 
political  constitution  of  this  'ere  benighted  land  j 
than  any  painting  you  can  show.  Horse-shoes 
before  ancient  stones,  and  macaroni  before  stat 
ues,  say  I !  For  these  little  things  show  me  all 
the  lite  of  the  people.  If  I  only  understood  their 
cursed  lingo,"  said  the  Senator,  with  a  tinge  of 
regret,  "I'd  rather  stand  and  hear  them  talk  by 
the  hour,  particularly  the  women,  than  listen  to 
the  pootiest  music  they  can  scare  up ! " 

"  I  tried  that  game,"  said  Mr.  Figgs,  rueful 
ly,  "  in  Naples.  I  went  into  a  broker's  shop  to 
change  a  Napoleon.  I  thought  I'd  like  to  see 
their  financial  system.  I  saw  enough  of  it ;  for 
the  scoundrel  gave  me  a  lot  of  little  bits  of  coin 
that  only  passed  fora  few  cents  apiece  in  Naples, 
with  difficulty  at  that,  and  won't  pass  here  at 
all!" 

The  Senator  laughed.  ' '  Well,  yon  shouldn't 
complain.  You  lost  your  Napoleon,  but  gained 
experience.  You  have  a  new  wrinkle.  I  gained 
a  new  wrinkle  too  when  I  gave  a  half-Napoleon, 
by  mistake,  to  a  wretched  looking  beggar,  blind 
of  one  eye.  I  intended  to  give  him  a  centime." 

"Your  principle,"  said  Buttons,  "does  well 


enough  for  you  as  a  traveller.  But  you  don't 
look  at  all  the  points  of  the  subject.  The  point 
is  to  write  a  letter  for  a  newspaper.  Now  what 
is  the  most  successful  kind  of  letter  ?  The  read 
ers  of  a  family  paper  are  notoriously  women  and 
young  men,  or  lads.  Older  men  only  look  at 
the  advertisements  or  the  news.  What  do 
women  and  lads  care  for  horse-shoes  and  maca 
roni  ?  Of  course,  if  one  were  to  write  about 
these  things  in  a  humorous  style  they  would 
take ;  but,  as  a  general  thing;  they  prefer  to  read 
about  old  ruins,  and  statues,  and  cities,  and  pro 
cessions.  But  the  best  kind  of  a  correspondence 
is  that  which  deals  altogether  in  adventures. 
That's  what  takes  the  mind  !  Incidents  of  trav 
el,  fights  with  ruffians,  quarrels  with  landlords, 
shipwrecks,  robbery,  odd  scrapes,  laughable 
scenes ;  and  Dick,  my  boy !  when  you  write 
again  be  sure  to  fill  your  letter  with  events  of 
this  sort." 

"But  suppose,"  suggested  Dick,  meekly, 
"  that  we  meet  with  no  ruffians,  and  there  are  no 
adventures  to  relate  ?" 

"  Then  use  a  traveller's  privilege  and  invent 
them.  What  was  imagination  given  for  if  not 
to  use  ?" 

"  It  will  not  do — it  will  not  do, "  said  the  Sen 
ator,  decidedly.  "You  must  hold  on  to  facts. 
Information,  not  amusement,  should  be  your 
aim." 

"But  information  is  dull  by  itself.  Amuse 
ment  perhaps  is  useless.  Now  how  much  bet 
ter  to  combine  the  utility  of  solid  information 
with  the  lighter  graces  of  amusement,  fun,  and 
fancy.  Your  pill,  Doctor,  is  hard  to  take, 
though  its  effects  are  good.  Coat  it  with  sugar 
and  it's  easy." 

"What!"  exclaimed  the  Doctor,  suddenly 
starting  up.  ' '  I'm  not  asleep  !  Did  you  speak 
to  me  ?" 

The  Doctor  blinked  and  rubbed  his  eyes,  and 
wondered  what  the  company  wrere  laughing  at. 
In  a  few  minutes,  however,  he  concluded  to  re 
sume  his  broken  slumber  in  his  bed.  He  accord 
ingly  retired  ;  and  the  company  followed  his  ex 
ample. 


CHAPTER  XIX. 

ST.  PETER'S!  —  THE  TRAGIC  STORY  OF  THE  FAT 
MAN  IN  THE  BALL. — HOW  ANOTHER  TRAGEDY 
NEARLY  HAPPENED. — THE  WOES  OF  MEINHERR 

SCHATT. 

Two  stately  fountains,  a  colonnade  which  in 
spite  of  faults  possesses  unequalled  majesty,  a 
vast  piazza,  enclosing  many  acres,  in  whose  im 
mense  area  puny  man  dwindles  to  a  dwarf,  and 
in  the  distance  the  unapproachable  glories  of 
the  greatest  of  earthly  temples — such  is  the  first 
view  of  St.  Peter's. 

Our  party  of  friends  entered  the  lordly  vesti 
bule,  and  lifting  the  heavy  mat  that  hung  over 
the  door-way  they  passed  through.  There  came 
a  soft  air  laden  with  the  odor  of  incense ;  and 
strains  of  music  from  one  of  the  side  chapels 
came  echoing  dreamily  down  one  of  the  side 


58 


THE  DODGE  CLUB ;  OR,  ITALY  IX  MDCCCLIX. 


aisles.  A  glare  of  sunlight  flashed  in  on  pol 
ished  marbles  of  a  thousand  colors  that  covered 
pillars,  walls,  and  pavement.  The  vaulted  ceil 
ing  blazed  with  gold.  People  strolled  to  and 
fro  without  any  apparent  object.  They  seemed 
to  be  promenading.  In  different  places  some 
peasant  women  were  kneeling. 

They  walked  up  the  nave.  The  size  of  the 
immense  edifice  increased  with  every  step. 
Arriving  under  the  dome  they  stood  looking  up 
with  boundless  astonishment. 

They  walked  round  and  round.  They  saw 
statues  which  were  masterpieces  of  genius; 
sculptures  that  glowed  with  immortal  beauty  ; 
pictures  which  had  consumed  a  life-time  as  they 
grew  up  beneath  the  patient  toil  of  the  mosaic 
worker.  There  were  altars  containing  gems 
equal  to  a  king's  ransom ;  curious  pillars  that 
came  down  from  immemorial  ages  ;  lamps  that 
burn  forever. 

"This,"  said  the  Senator,  "is  about  the  first 
place  that  has  really  come  up  to  my  idee  of  for 
eign  parts.  In  fact  it  goes  clean  beyond  it.  I 
acknowledge  its  superiority  to  any  thing  that 
America  can  produce.  But  what's  the  good  of 
it  all  ?  If  this  Government  really  cared  for  the 
good  of  the  people  it  would  sell  out  the  hull 
concern,  and  devote  the  proceeds  to  railways 
and  factories.  Then  Italy  would  go  ahead  as 
Providence  intended." 

"My  dear  Sir,  the  people  of  this  country 
would  rise  and  annihilate  any  Govenrment  that 
dared  to  touch  it." 

"  Shows  how  debased  they  have  grown. 
There's  no  utility  in  all  this.  Tiiere  couldn't 
be  any  really  good  Gospel  preaching  here. 

"  Different  people  require  different  modes  of 
worship,"  said  Buttons,  sententiously. 

"  But  it's  immense,"  said  the  Senator,  as  they 
stood  at  the  furthest  end  and  looked  toward  the 
entrance.  "  I've  been  calc'latin'  that  you  could 
range  along  this  middle  aisle  about  eighteen 
good-sized  Protestant  churches,  and  eighteen 
more  along  the  side  aisles.  You  could  pile 
them  up  three  tiers  high.  Yon  could  stow  away 
twenty-four  more  in  the  cross  aisle.  '  After  that 
you  could  pile  up  twenty  more  in  the  dome. 
That  would  make  room  here  for  one  hundred 
and  fifty-two  good-sized  Protestant  churches, 
and  room  enough  would  be  left  to  stow  away  all 
their  spires." 

And  to  show  the  truth  of  his  calculation  he 
exhibited  a  piece  of  paper  on  which  he  had  pen 
cilled  it  all. 

If  the  interior  is  imposing  the  ascent  to  the 
roof  is  equally  so.  There  is  a  winding  path  so 
arranged  that  mules  can  go  up  carrying  loads. 
Up  this  they  went  and  reached  the  roof.  Six 
or  seven  acres  of  territory  snatched  from  the 
air  spread  around  ;  statues  rose  from  the  edge  ; 
all  around  cupolas  and  pillars  arose.  In  the 
centre  the  huge  dome  itself  towered  on  high. 
There  was  a  long  low  building  filled  with  peo 
ple  who  lived  up  here.  They  were  workmen 
whose  duty  it  was  to  attend  to  the  repairs  of 
the  vast  structure.  Two  fountains  poured  forth 


a  never-ceasing  supply  of  water.  It  was  diffi 
cult  to  conceive  that  this  was  the  roof  of  a  build 
ing. 

Entering  the  base  of  the  central  cupola  a 
stairway  leads  up.  There  is  a  door  which  leads 
to  the  interior,  where  one  can  walk  around  a 
gallery  on  the  inside  of  the  dome  and  look  down. 
Further  up  where  the  arch  springs  there  is  an 
other.  Finally,  at  the  apex  of  the  dome  there 
is  a  third  opening.  Looking  down  through  this 
the  sensation  is  terrific. 

Upon  the  summit  of  the  vast  dome  stands  an 
edifice  of  large  size,  which  is  called  the  lantern, 
and  appears  insignificant  in  comparison  with 
the  mighty  structure  beneath.  Up  this  the 
stairway  goes  until  at  length  the  opening  into 
the  ball  is  reached. 

The  whole  five  climbed  up  into  the  ball. 
They  found  to  their  surprise  that  it  would  hold 
twice  as  many  more.  The  Senator  reached  up 
his  hand.  He  could  not  touch  the  top.  They 
looked  through  the  slits  in  the  side.  The  view 
was  boundless ;  the  wide  Campagna,  the  pur 
ple  Apennines,  the  blue  Mediterranean,  appear 
ed  from  different  sides. 

"  I  feel,"  said  the  Senator,  "  that  the  conceit 
is  taken  out  of  me.  What  is  Boston  State 
House  to  this ;  or  Bunker  Hill  monument !  I 
used  to  see  pictures  of  this  place  in  Woodbridge's 
Geography ;  but  I  never  had  a  realizing  sense 
of  architecture  until  now." 

"This  ball,"  said  Buttons,  "has  its  history, 
its  associations.  It  has  been  the  scene  of  suf 
fering.  Once  a  stoutish  man  came  up  here. 
The  guides  warned  him,  but  to  no  purpose.  He 
was  a  willful  Englishman.  You  may  see,  gen 
tlemen,  that  the  opening  is  narrow.  How  the 
Englishman  managed  to  get  up  does  not  appear; 
but  it  is  certain  that  when  he  tried  to  get  down 
he  found  it  impossible.  He  tried  for  hours  to 
squeeze  through.  No  use.  Hundreds  of  peo 
ple  came  up  to  help  him.  They  couldn't.  The 
whole  city  got  into  a  state  of  wild  excitement. 
Some  of  the  churches  had  prayers  offered  up 
for  him  though  he  was  a  heretic.  At  the  end 
of  three  days  he  tried  again..  Fasting  and 
anxiety  had  come  to  his  relief,  and  he  slipped 
through  without  difficulty." 

"He  must  have  been  a  London  swell,"  sai 
Dick. 

"I  don't  believe  a  word  of  it,"  said  Mr. 
Figgs,  looking  with  an  expression  of  horror, 
first  at  the  opening  and  then  at  his  own  rotund 
ity.  Then  springing  forward  he  hurriedly  be 
gan  to  descend. 

Happy  Mr.  Figgs !  There  was  no  danger 
for  him.  But  in  his  eagerness  to  get  down  he 
did  not  think  of  looking  below  to  see  if  the  way 
was  clear.  And  so  it  happened,  that  as  he  de 
scended  quickly  and  with  excited  haste,  he 
stepped  with  all  his  weight  upon  the  hand  of  a 
man  who  was  coming  up.  The  stranger  shouted. 
Mr.  Figgs  jumped.  His  foot  slipped.  His 
hand  loosened,  and  down  he  fell  plump  to  the 
bottom.  Had  he  fallen  on  the  floor  there  is  no 
doubt  that  he  would  have  sustained  severe  in 


THE  DODGE  CLUB  ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


59 


jury.  Fortunately  for  himself  he  fell  upon  the 
stranger  and  nearly  crushed  his  life  out. 

The  stranger  writhed  and  rolled  till  he  had 
got  rid  of  his  heavy  burden.  The  two  men 
simultaneously  started  to  their  feet.  The  stran 
ger  was  a  short  stout  man  with  an  unmistaka 
ble  German  face.  He  had  bright  blue  eyes,  red 
hair,  and  a  forked  red  beard.  He  stared  with 
all  his  might,  stroked  his  forked  red  beard  pite- 
ously,  and  then  ejaculated  most  gutturally,  in 
tones  that  seemed  to  come  from  his  boots — 

"  Gh-h-h-r-r-r-r-r-acious  me  !" 

Mr.  Figgs  overwhelmed  him  with  apologies, 
assured  him  that  it  was  quite  unintentional, 
hoped  that  he  wasn't  hurt,  begged  his  pardon  ; 
but  the  stranger  only  panted,  and  still  he  stroked 
his  forked  red  beard,  and  still  ejaculated — 

"Gh-h-h-r-r-r-r-r-acious  me!" 

Four  heads  peered  through  the  opening 
above ;  but  seeing  no  accident  their  owners,  one 
by  one,  descended,  and  all  with  much  sympathy 
asked  the  stranger  if  he  was  much  hurt.  But 
the  stranger,  who  seemed  quite  bewildered,  still 
panted  and  stroked  his  beard,  and  ejaculated — 

"  Gh-h-h-r-r-r-r-r-acious  me !" 

At  length  he  seemed  to  recover  his  faculties, 
and  discovered  that  he  was  not  hurt.  Upon 
this  he  assured  Mr.  Figgs,  in  heavy  guttural 
English,  that  it  was  nothing.  He  had  often 
been  knocked  down  before.  If  Mr.  Figgs  were 
a  Frenchman,  he  would  feel  angry.  But  as  he 
was  an  American  he  was  proud  to  make  his 
acquaintance.  He  himself  had  once  lived  in 
America,  in  Cincinnati,  where  he  had  edited 

German  paper.  His  name  was  Meinherr 
Schatt. 

Meinherr  Schatt  showed  no  further  disposi 
tion  to  go  up ;  but  descended  with  the  others 
down  as  far  as  the  roof,  when  they  went  to  the 
front  and  stood  looking  down  on  the  pia/.za. 
In  the  course  of  conversation  Meinherr  Schatt 
informed  them  that  he  belonged  to  the  Duchy 
of  Saxe  Meiningen,  that  he  had  been  living  in 
Rome  about  two  years,  and  liked  it  about  as 
well  as  any  place  that  lie  had  seen.  He  went 


every  autumn  to  Paris  to  speculate  on  the 
Bourse,  and  generally  made  enough  to  keep 
him  for  a  year.  He  was  acquainted  with  all 
the  artists  in  Rome.  Would  they  like  to  be  in 
troduced  to  some  of  them  ? 

Buttons  would  be  most  charmed.  He  would 
rather  become  acquainted  with  artists  than  with 
any  class  of  people. 

Meinherr  Sehatt  lamented  deeply  the  present 
state  of  things  arising  from  the  war  in  Lom- 
bardy.  A  peaceful  German  traveller  was  scarce 
ly  safe  now.  Little  boys  made  faces  at  him  in 
the  street,  and  shouted  after  him,  "Maledetto 
Tedescho ! " 

Just  at  this  moment  the  eye  of  Buttons  was 
attracted  by  a  carriage  that  rolled  away  from 
under  the  front  of  the  cathedral  down  the  piaz 
za.  In  it  were  two  ladies  and  a  gentleman. 
Buttons  stared  eagerly  for  a  few  moments,  and 
then  gave  a  jump. 

"  What's  the  matter?"  cried  Dick, 

"It  is!     By  Jove!     It  is!" 

"What?     Who?" 

"  I  see  her  face  !     I'm  off!" 

' '  Confound  it !     Whose  face  ?" 

But  Buttons  gave  no  answer.  He  was  off 
like  the  wind,  and  before  the  others  could  re 
cover  from  their  surprise  had  vanished  down 
the  descent. 

"What  upon  airth  has  possessed  Buttons 
now  ?"  asked  the  Senator. 

"  It  must  be  the  Spanish  girl,"  said  Dick. 

"  Again  ?  Hasn't  his  mad  chase  at  sea  given 
him  a  lesson?  Spanish  girl !  What  is  he  after  ? 
If  he  wants<a  girl,  why  can't  he  wait  and  pick 
out  a  regular  thorough-bred  out  and  outer  of 
Yankee  stock  ?  These  Spaniards  are  not  the 
right  sort." 

In  an  incredible  short  space  of  time  the  figure 
of  Buttons  was  seen  dashing  down  the  piazza, 
in  the  direction  which  the  carriage  had  taken. 
But  the  carriage  was  far  ahead,  and  even  as  he 
left  the  church  it  had  already  crossed  the  Ponte 
di  S.  Angelo.  The  others  then  descended. 
Buttotis  was  not  seen  till  the  end  of  the  day. 


'GBACIOC8  MET 


GO 


THE  DODGE  CLUB  ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


He  then  made  his  appearance  with  a  dejected 
air. 

"  What  luck  ?"  asked  Dick,  as  he  came  in. 

"  None  at  all,"  said  Buttons,  gloomily. 

"  Wrong  ones  again  ?" 

"  No,  indeed.  I'm  not  mistaken  this  time. 
But  I  couldn't  catch  them.  They  got  out  of 
sight,  and  kept  out  too.  I've  been  to  every 
hotel  in  the  place,  but  couldn't  find  them.  It's 
too  bad." 

"Buttons,"  said  the  Senator,  gravely,  "I'm 
sorry  to  see  a  young  man  like  you  so  infatuated. 
Beware — Buttons — beware  of  winnnin !  Take 
the  advice  of  an  older  and  more  experienced 
man.  Beware  of  wimmin.  Whenever  you  see 
one  coining — dodge  !  It's  your  only  hope.  If 
it  hadn't  been  for  wimmin'' — and  the  Senator 
seemed  to  speak  half  to  himself,  while  his  face 
assumed  a  pensive  air— "if  it  hadn't  been  for 
wimmin,  I'd  been  haranguing  the  Legislatoor 
now,  instead  of  wearying  my  bones  in  this  be 
nighted  and  enslaved  country." 


CHAPTEE  XX. 

THE  GLORY,  GRANDEUR,  BEAUTY,  AND  INFINITE 
VARIETY  OF  THE  PINCIAN  HILL;  NARRATED 
AND  DETAILED  NOT  COLUMNARILY  BUT  EX 
HAUSTIVELY,  AND  AFTER  THE  MANNER  OF  RA 
BELAIS. 

OH,  the  Pincian  Hill!— Does  the  memory  of 
that  place  affect  all  alike?  Whether  it  does 
or  not  matters  little  to  the  chronicler  of  this 
veracious  history.  To  him  it  is  the  crown  and 
glory  of  modern  Rome  ;  the  centre  around  which 
all  Rome  clusters.  Delightful  walks !  Views 
without  a  parallel !  Place  on  earth  to  which 
no  place  else  can  hold  a  candle ! 

Pooh — what's  the  use  of  talking?  Contem 
plate,  0  Reader,  from  the  Pincian  Hill  the  fol 
lowing  : 


Swiss  Guards,  Dutchmen,  Mosaic-workers,  Plane-trees, 
Cypress-trees,  Irishmen,  Propaganda  Students,  Goats, 
Fleas,  Men  from  Bosting,  Patent  Medicines,  Swells,  Lnger, 
Meerschaum-pipes,  The  New  York  Herald,  Crosses,  Rustic 
Seats,  Dark-eyed  Maids,  Babel,  Terrapins,  Marble  Pave- 


Shade,  Murray's  Hand-book,  Cicerones,  Englishmen,  Dog 
carts,  Youth,  Hope,  Beauty,  Conversation  Kenge,  Blue 


bottle  Flie=,  Gnats,  Galignani,  Statues,  Pensants,  Cock 
neys,  Gas-lamps,  Dundreary,  Michiganders,  Paper-collars, 
Pavilions,  Mosaic  Brooches,  Little  Dogs,  Small  Boys,  liz 
ards,  Snakes,  Golden  Sunsets,  Turks,  Pnrple  Hills,  Pla 
cards,  Shin-plasters,  Monkeys,  Old  Boots,  Coffee-roasters, 
Pale  Ale,  The  Dust  of  Ages,  The  Ghost  of  Rome,  Ice 
Cream,  Memories,  Soda- Water,  Harper's  Guide-Book. 


CHAPTER  XXI. 

HARMONY  ON  THE  PINCIAN  HILL. — MUSIC  HATH 
CHARMS. — AMERICAN  MELODIES. — THE  GLORY, 
THE  POWER,  AND  THE  BEAUTY  OF  YANKEE  DOO 
DLE,  AND  THE  MERCENARY  SOUL  OF  AN  ITAL 
IAN  ORGAN-GRINDER. 

THE  Senator  loved  the  Pincian  Hill,  for  there 
he  saw  what  hQ  loved  best;  more  than  ruins, 
more  than  churches,  more  than  pictures  and 
statues,  more  than  music.  He  saw  man  and 
human  nature. 

He  had  a  smile  for  all ;  of  superiority  for  the 
bloated  aristocrat;  of  friendliness  for  the  hum 
ble,  yet  perchance  worthy  mendicant.  He 
longed  every  day  more  and  more  to  be  able  to 
talk  the  language  of  the  people. 

On  one  occasion  the  Club  was  walking  on  the 
Pincian  Hill,  when  suddenly  they  were  arrested 
by  familiar  sounds  which  came  from  some  place 
not  very  far  away.  It  was  a  barrel-organ ;  a 
soft  and  musical  organ ;  but  it  was  playing 
"  Sweet  Home." 

"  A  Yankee  tune,"  said  the  Senator.  "Let 
us  go  and  patronize  domestic  manufacture. 
That  is  my  idee  of  political  economy." 

Reaching  the  spot  they  saw  a  pale,  intellect 
ual-looking  Italian  working  away  at  his  instru 
ment. 

"  It's  not  bad,  though  that  there  may  not  be 
the  highest  kind  of  musical  instrument." 

"No,"  said  Buttons ;  "but  I  wonder  that 
you,  an  elder  of  a  church,  can  stand  here  and 
listen  to  it." 

"  Why,  what  has  the  church  to  do  with  a 
barrel-organ  ?" 

"Don't  you  believo  the  Bible?" 

"  Of  course,"  said  the  Senator,  looking  mys 
tified. 

"Don't  you  know  what  it  says  on  the  sub 
ject?" 

"What  the  Bible  says?  Why  no,  of  course 
not.  It  says  nothing." 

' '  I  beg  your  pardon.  It  says,  '  The  sound  of 
the  grinding  is  low.'  See  Ecclesiastes,  twelfth, 
fourth." 

The  Senator  looked  mystified,  but  said  noth 
ing.  But  suddenly  the  organ-grinder  struck 
up  another  tune. 

"  Well,  I  do  declare,"  cried  the  Senator,  de 
lighted,  "  if  it  isn't  another  domestic  melody  !" 

It  was  "  Independence  Day." 

"Why,  it  warms  my  heart,1'  he  said,  as  a 
flush  spread  over  his  fine  countenance. 

The  organ-grinder  received  any  quantity  of 
baiocchi,  which  so  encouraged  him  that  he  tried 
another — "  Old  Virginny." 

"That's  better  yet,"  said  the  Senator.  "  But 
how  on  airth  did  this  man  manage  to  get  hold 
of  these  tunes  ?" 

Then  came  others.  They  were  all  Ameri 
can :  "Old  Folks  at  Home,"  "Nelly  Ely," 
"Suwannee  Ribber,"  "Jordan,"  "Dan  Tuck 
er,"  "  Jim  Crow.'' 

The  Senator  was  certainly  most  demonstra 
tive,  but  all  the  others  were  equally  affected. 

Those  native  airs  ;  the  dashing,  the  reckless, 


THE  DODGE  CLUB ;  OK,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


61 


the  roaringly-humorous,  the 
obstreperously  jolly — they 
show  one  part  of  the  many- 
sided  American  character. 

Not  yet  has  justice  been 
done  to  the  nigger  song.  It 
is  not  a  nigger  song.  It 

an  American  melody. 
Leaving  out  those  which 
have  been  stolen  from  Ital 
ian  Operas,  how  many  there 
are  which  are  truly  Ameri 
can  in  their  extravagance, 
:heir  broad  humor,  their 
•rlorious  and  uproarious  jol- 
ity !  The  words  are  trash. 
The  melodies  are  every 
thing. 

These  melodies  touched 
the  hearts  of  the  listeners. 
American  life  rose  before 
them  as  they  listened. — 
American  life — free,  bound- 
ess,  exuberant,  broadly-de 
veloping,  self- asserting, 
.raining  its  characteristics 
Tom  the  boundless  extent 
of  its  home — a  continental 
ife  of  limitless  variety.  As 
mournful  as  the  Scotch  ;  as 
reckless  as  the  Irish ;  as 
solemnly  patriotic  as  the  English. 

"Listen  !"  cried  the  Senator,  in  wild  excite 
ment.  ' 

It  was  "Hail  Columbia." 

"  The  Pincian  Hill,"  said  the  Senator,  with 
:leep  solemnity,  "is  glorified  from  this  time 
"orth  and  for  evermore.  It  has  gained  a  new 
:harm.  The  Voice  of  Freedom  hatli  made  it 
self  heard  J" 

The  others,  though  less  demonstrative,  were 
no  less  delighted.  Then  came  another,  better 
»-et.  "The  Star-Spangled  Banner." 

"There!"  cried  the  Senator,  "is  our  true 
national  anthem — the  commemoration  of  nation- 
il  triumph  ;  the  grand  upsoaring  of  the  victori 
ous  American  Eagle  as  it  wings  its  everlasting 
flight  through  the  blue  empyrean  away  up  to 
the  eternal  stars  ! " 

He  burst  into  tears ;  the  others  respected  his 
emotion. 

Then  he  wiped  his  eyes  and  looked  ashamed 
^f  himself — quite  uselessly — for  it  is  a  mistake 
to  suppose  that  tears  are  unmanly.  Unmanly  ! 
The  manliest  of  men  may  sometimes  shed  tears 
3ut  of  his  very  manhood. 

At  last  there  arose  a  magic  strain  that  pro 
duced  an  effect  to  which  the  former  was  noth 
ing.  It  was  "  Yankee  Doodle  !" 

The  Senator  did  not  speak.  He  could  not 
find  words.  He  turned  his  eyes  first  upon  one, 
find  then  another  of  his  companions ;  eyes  beam 
ing  with  joy  and  triumph  —  eyes,  that  showed 
emotion  arising  straight  from  a  patriot's  heart 
— eyes  which  seemed. to  say  :  Is  there  any  sound 
on  earth  or  above  the  earth  that  can  equal  this  ? 


OLD  VIBGINNY. 

Yankee  Doodle  has  never  received  justice. 
It  is  a  tune  without  words.  What  are  the  rec 
ognized  words  ?  Nonsense  unutterable  —  the 
sneer  of  a  British  officer.  But  the  tune! — ah, 
that  is  quite  another  thing ! 

The  tune  was  from  the  very  first  taken  to  the 
national  heart,  and  has  never  ceased  to  be  cher 
ished  there.  The  Republic  has  grown  to  be  a 
very  different  thing  from  that  weak  beginning, 
but  its  national  air  is  as  popular  as  ever.  The 
people  do  not  merely  love  it.  They  glory  in  it. 
And  yet  apologies  are  sometimes  made  for  it. 
By  whom?  By  the  soulless  dilettante.  The 
people  know  better: — the  farmers,  the  mechan 
ics,  the  fishermen,  the  dry-goods  clerks,  the 
newsboys,  the  railway  stokers,  the  butchers, 
the  bakers,  the  candlestick-makers,  the  tinkers, 
the  tailors,  the  soldiers,  the  sailors.  Why  ? 
Because  this  music  has  a  voice  of  its  own,  more 
expressive  than  words ;  the  language  of  the 
soul,  which  speaks  forth  in  certain  melodies 
which  form  an  utterance  of  unutterable  passion. 

The  name  was  perhaps  given  in  ridicule.  It 
was  accepted  with  pride.  The  air  is  rash,  reck 
less,  gay,  triumphant,  noisy,  boisterous,  care 
less,  heedless,  rampant,  raging,  roaring,  rattle- 
brainish,  devil  -may-  care  -ish,  plague -take- the- 
hindmost-ish ;  but!  solemn,  stern,  hopeful,  res 
olute,  fierce,  menacing,  strong,  cantankerous 
(cantankerous  is  entirely  an  American  idea), 
bold,  daring — 

Words  fail. 

Yankee  Doodle  has  not  yet  received  its  Doo ! 

The  Senator  had  smiled,  laughed,  sighed,, 
wept,  gone  through  many  variations  of  feeling. 


62 


THE  DODGE  CLUB  ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


He  had  thrown  baiocchi  till  his  pockets  were  ex 
hausted,  and  then  handed  forth  silver.  He  had 
shaken  hands  with  all  his  companions  ten  times 
over.  They  themselves  went  not  quite  as  far 
in  feeling  as  he,  but  yet  to  a  certain  extent  they 
went  in. 

And  yet  Americans  are  thought  to  be  practi 
cal,  and  not  ideal.  Yet  here  was  a  true  Amer 
ican  who  was  intoxicated — drunk !  By  what  ? 
By  sound,  notes,  harmony.  By  music  ! 

"  Buttons,"  said  he,  as  the  music  ceased  and 
the  Italian  prepared  to  make  his  bow  and  quit 
the  scene, "I  must  make  that  gentleman's  ac 
quaintance." 

Buttons  walked  tip  to  the  organ-grinder. 

"  Be  my  interpreter,"  said  the  Senator.  "  In 
troduce  me." 

"What's  your  name?"  asked  Buttons. 

"Maffeo  Cloto." 

"From  where?" 

"Urbino." 

"  Were  you  ever  in_America?" 

"  No,  Signore." 

"  What  does  he  say  ?"  asked  the  Senator,  im 
patiently. 

"  He  sa3rs  his  name  is  Mr.  Cloto,  and  he  was 
never  in  America." 

"  How  did  you  get  these  tunes?" 

"Out  of  my  organ,"  said  the  Italian,  grin 
ning. 

"  Of  course  ;  but  how  did  you  happen  to  get 
an  organ  with  such  tunes  ?" 

"  I  bought  it." 

"  Oh  yes ;  but  how  did  you  happen  to  buy 
one  with  these  tunes  ?" 

' '  For  you  illustrious  American  Signore.  You 
all  like  to  hear  them." 

"Do  you  know  any  thing  about  the  tunes?" 

"  Signore  ?" 

"  Do  you  know  what  the  words  are  ?" 

"  Oh  no.     I  am  an  Italian." 

"I  suppose  you  make  money  out  of  them." 

"I  make  more  in  a  day  with  these  than  I 
could  in  a  week  with  other  tunes." 

"  You  lay  up  money,  I  suppose." 

"  Oh  yes.  In  two  years  I  will  retire  and  let 
my  younger  brother  play  here." 

"These  tunes?" 

"  Yes,  Signore." 

"To  Americans?" 

"  Yes,  Signore." 

"  What  is  it  all?"  asked  the  Senator. 

"  He  says  that  he  finds  he  makes  money  by 
playing  American  tunes  to  Americans." 

"  Hm,"  said  the  Senator,  with  some  displeas 
ure  ;  "and  he  has  no  soul  then  to  see  the — the 
beauty,  the  sentiment,  the  grandeur  of  his  vo 
cation  !" 

' '  Not  a  bit — he  only  goes  in  for  money. " 

The  Senator  turned  away  in  disgust.  "  Yan 
kee  Doodle,"  he  murmured,  "  ought  of  itself  to 
have  a  refining  and  converting  influence  on  the 
European  mind  ;  but  it  is  too  debased — yes — 
yes— too  debased." 


CHAPTER  XXII. 

HOW  A  BARGAIN  IS  MADE. —  THE  WILES  OF  THE 
ITALIAN  TRADESMAN.  —  THE  NAKED  SULKY 
BEGGAR,  AND  THE  JOVIAL  WELL-CLAD  BEG 
GAR. — WHO  IS  THE  KING  OF  BEGGARS  ? 

"  WHAT  are  you  thinking  about,  Buttons?" 

"Well,  Dick,  to  tell  the  truth,  I  have  been 
thinking  that  if  I  do  find  the  Spaniards  they 
won't  have  reason  to  be  particularly  proud  of 
me  as  a  companion.  Look  at  me." 

"  I  look,  and  to  be  frank,  my  dear  boy,  I 
must  say  that  you  look  more  shabby-genteel 
than  otherwise." 

"That's  the  result  of  travelling  on  one  suit 
of  clothes — without  considering  fighting.  I 
give  up  my  theory." 

"  Give  it  up,  then,  and  come  out  as  a  butter- 

fly." 

"Friend  of  my  soul,  the  die  is  cast.  Come 
forth  with  me  and  seek  a  clothing-store." 

It  was  not  difficult  to  find  one.  They  en 
tered  the  first  one  that  they  saw.  The  polite 
Roman  overwhelmed  them  with  attention. 

"  Show  me  a  coat,  Signore." 

Signore  sprang  nimbly  at  the  shelves  and 
brought  down  every  coat  in  his  store.  Buttons 
picked  out  one  that  suited  his  fancy,  and  tried 
it  on. 

"  What  is  the  price?" 

With  a  profusion  of  explnnation  and  descrip 
tion  the  Roman  informed  him:  "Forty  pias 
tres." 

"I'll  give  you  twelve, "said  Buttons,  quietly. 

The  Italian  smiled,  put  his  head  on  one  side, 
drew  down  the  corners  of  his  mouth,  and  threw 
up  his  shoulders.  This  is  the  shrug.  The 
shrug  requires  special  attention.  The  shrug  is 
a  gesture  used  by  the  Latin  race  for  expressing 
a  multitude  of  things,  both  objectively  and  sub 
jectively.  It  is  a  language  of  itself.  It  is,  as 
circumstances  require,  a  noun,  adverb,  pronoun, 
verb,  adjective,  preposition,  interjection,  con 
junction.  Yet  it  does  not  supersede  the  spoken 
language.  It  comes  in  rather  when  spoken 
words  are  useless,  to  convey  intensity  of  mean 
ing  or  delicacy.  It  is  not  taught,  but  it  is 
learned. 

The  coarser,  or  at  least  blunter,  Teutonic 
race  have  not  cordially  adopted  this  mode  of 
human  intercommunication.  The  advantage 
of  the  shrug  is  that  in  one  slight  gesture  it  con 
tains  an  amount  of  meaning  which  otherwise 
would  require  many  words.  A  good  shrugger 
in  Italy  is  admired,  just  as  a  good  conversation 
ist  is  in  England,  or  a  good  stump  orator  in 
America.  When  the  merchant  shrugged,  But 
tons  understood  him  and  said  : 

"You  refuse?     Then  I  go.     Behold  me  !" 

"  Ah,  Signore,  how  can  you  thus  endeavor  to 
take  advantage  of  the  necessities  of  the  poor?" 

"  Signore,  I  must  buy  according  to  my  abil 
ity." 

The  Italian  laughed  long  and  quietly.  The 
idea  of  an  Englishman  or  American  not  having 
much  money  was  an  exquisite  piece  of  humor. 

"  Go  not,  Signore.     Wait  a  little.     Let  me 


THE  DODGE  CLUB ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


63 


TIIK   BHKUQ. 


unfold  more  garments.     Behold  this,  and  this. 


You  shall  have  many  of  my  goods  for  twelve  Lyour  word !" 


piastres. " 

"  Nq,  Signore ;  I  must  have  this,  or  I  will 
have  none." 

"You  are  very  hard,  Signore.  Think  of  my 
necessities.  Think  of  the  pressure  of  this  pres- 
;nt  war,  which  we  poor  miserable  tradesmen 
feel  most  of  all." 

"  Then  addio,  Signore ;  I  must  depart." 

They  went  out  and  walked  six  paces. 
•"  P-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-t!"  (Another  little  idea 
of  the  Latin  race.  It  is  a  much  more  penetrat 
ing  sound  than  a  loud  Hallo!  Ladies  can  use 
it.  Children  too.  This  would  be  worth  im 
porting  to  America.) 

"  P-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-t !" 

Buttons  and  Dick  turned.  The  Italian  stood 
smiling  and  bowing  and  beckoning. 

"Take  it  for  twenty-four  piastres." 

"  No,  Signore  ;  I  can  only  pay  twelve." 

"With  a  gesture  of  ruffled  dignity  the  shop 
keeper  withdrew.  Again  they  turned  away. 
They  had  scarcely  gone  ten  paces  before  the 
;-hop-keeper  was  after  them : 

"  A  thousand  pardons.  But  I  have  concluded 
to  take  twenty." 

"No;  twelve,  and  no  more." 

"  But  think,  Signore;  only  think." 

"I  do  think,  my  friend  ;  I  do  think." 

"  Say  eighteen." 

"No,  Signore." 

"Seventeen." 

"Twelve." 

"  Here.     Come  back  with  me." 
E 


They  obeyed.  The  Italian  folded  the  coat 
neatly,  tied  it  carefully,  stroked  the  parcel  ten 
derly,  and  with  a  meek  yet  sad  smile  handed  it 
to  Buttons. 

"  There — only  sixteen  piastres." 

Buttons  had  taken  out  his  purse.  At  this  he 
hurriedly  replaced  it,  with  an  air  of  vexation. 

"  I  can  only  give  twelve." 

"Oh,  Signore,  be  generous.  Think  of  my 
struggles,  my  expenses,  my  family.  You  will 
not  force  me  to  lose." 

"I  would  scorn  to  force  you  to  any  thing, 
and  therefore  I  will  depart." 

"  Stop,  Signore,"  cried  the  Italian,  detaining 
them  at  the  door.  "  I  consent.  You  may  take 
it  for  fourteen." 

"For  Heaven's  sake,  Buttons,  take  it,"  said 
Dick,  whose  patience  was  now  completely  ex 
hausted.  "Take  it." 

"Twelve,"  said  Buttons. 

"Let  me  pay  the  extra  two  dollars,  for  my 
own  peace  of  mind,"  said^Dick. 

"Nonsense,  Dick.  It's  the  principle  of  the 
thing.  As  a  member  of  the  Dodge  Club,  too, 
I  could  not  give  more." 

"Thirteen,  good  Signore  mine,"  said  the 
Italian  piteously. 

"  My  friend,  I  have  given  my  word  that  I 
would  pay  only  twelve." 

"  Your  word  ?     Your  pardon,  but  to  whom  ?" 

"To  you." 

"Oh,  then,  how   gladly  I  release  you  from 


"  Twelve,  Signore,  or  I  go." 

"I  can  not." 

Buttons  turned  away.  They  walked  along 
the  street,  and  at  length  arrived  at  another 
clothier's.  Just  as  they  stepped  in  a  hand  was 
laid  on  Buttons's  shoulder,  and  a  voice  cried 
out — 

"  Take  it !     Take  it,  Signore!" 

"  Ah  !     I  thought  so !     Twelve  ?" 

"  Twelve." 

Buttons  paid  the  money  and  directed  where 
it  should  be  sent.  He  found  out  afterward  that 
the  price  which  an  Italian  gentleman  would 
pay  was  about  ten  piastres. 

There  is  no  greater  wonder  than  the  patient 
waiting  of  an  Italian  tradesman  in  pursuit  of  a 
bargain.  The  flexibility  of  the  Italian  con 
science  and  imagination  under  such  circum 
stances  is  truly  astonishing. 

Dress  makes  a  difference.  The  very  expres 
sion  of  the  face  changes  when  one  has  passed 
from  shabbiness  into  elegance.  After  Buttons 
had  dressed  himself  in  his  gay  attire  his  next 
thought  was  what  to  do  with  his  old  clothes. 

"Come  and  let  us  dispose  of  them." 

"  Dispose  of  them  !" 

"  Oh,  I  mean  get  rid  of  them.  I  saw  a  man 
crouching  in  a  corner  nearly  naked  as  I  came 
up.  Let  us  go  and  see  if  we  can  find  him.  I'd 
like  to  try  the  effect." 

They  went  to  the  place  where  the  man  had 
been  seen.  He  was  there  still.  A  young  man, 
in  excellent  health,  brown,  muscular,  lithe.  He 


THE  DODGE  CLUB ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


had  an  old  coverlet  around  his  loins — that  was 
all.  He  looked  up  sulkily. 

"Are  you  not  cold  ?." 

"No,"  he  blurted  out,  and  turned  away. 

"A  boor,"  said  Dick.  "Don't  throw  away 
your  charity  on  him." 

"  Look  here." 

The  man  looked  up  lazily. 

"Do  you  want  some  clothes?" 

No  reply. 

"I've  got  some  here,  and  perhaps  will  give 
them  to  you." 

The  man  scrambled  to  his  feet. 

"  Confound  the  fellow  !"  said  Dick.  "  If  he 
don't  want  them  let's  find  some  one  who  does.1' 

"  Look  here,"  said  Buttons. 

He  unfolded  his  parcel.  The  fellow  looked 
indifferently  at  the  tilings. 

"  Here,  take  this,"  and  he  offered  the  panta 
loons. 

The  Italian  took  them  and  slowly  put  them 
on.  This  done,  he  stretched  himself  and  yawned. 

"Take  this." 

It  was  his  vest. 

The  man  took  the  vest  and  put  it  on  with 
equal  sang  froid.  Again  he  yawned  and 
stretched  himself. 

' '  Here's  a  coat." 

Buttons  held  it  out  to  the  Italian.  The  fel 
low  took  it,  surveyed  it  closely,  felt  in  the  pock 
ets,  and  examined  very  critically  the  stiffening 
of  the  collar.  Finally  he  put  it  on.  He  but 
toned  it  closely  around  him,  and  passed  his  fin 
gers  through  his  matted  hair.  Then  he  felt  the 
pockets  once  more.  After  which  he  yawned 
long  and  solemnly.  This  done,  he  looked  ear 
nestly  at  Buttons  and  Dick.  He  saw  that  they 
had  nothing  more.  Upon  which  he  turned  on 
his  heel,  and  without  saying  a  word,  good  or 
bad,  walked  off  \\ith  immense  strides,  turned  a 
corner,  and  was  out  of  sight.  The  two  philan 
thropists  were  left  staring  at  one  another.  At 
last  they  laughed. 

"That  man  is  an  original,"  said  Dick. 

"Yes,  and  there  is  another,"  snid  Buttons. 

As  he  spoke  he  pointed  to  the  flight  of  stone 
steps  that  goes  up  from  the  Piazza  di  Spagna. 
Dick  looked  up.  There  sat  The  Beggar ! 

ANTONIO  ! 

Legless,  hatless,  but  not  by  any  means  penni 
less,  king  of  Roman  beggars,  with  a  European 
reputation,  unequalled  in  his  own  profession — 
there  sat  the  most  scientific  beggar  that  the 
world  has  ever  seen. 

He  had  watched  the  recent  proceedings,  and 
caught  the  glance  6f  the  young  men. 

As  they  looked  up  his  voice  came  clear  and 
sonorous  through  the  air  : 

"  O  most  generous — O  most  noble — 0  most 
illustrious  youths — Draw  near — Look  in  pity 
upon  the  abject — Behold  legless,  armless,  help-, 
less,  the  beggar  Antonio  forsaken  of  Heaven — 
For  the  love  of  the  Virgin — For  the  sake  of  the 
saints  —  In  the  name  of  humanity  —  Date  me 
uno  mezzo  baioccho — Sono  poooooooooovero — 
Miseraaaaaaafcaabile — Desperrrraaaaaaaado !" 


CHAPTER  XXIII. 

THE  MANIFOLD  LIFE  OF  THE  CAFE  NCTOVO,  AND 
HOW  THEY  RECEIVED  THE  NEWS  ABOUT  MAGEN 
TA.  —  EXCITEMENT.  —ENTHUSIASM. — TEARS. — 
EMBRACES. 

ALL  modern  Rome  lives  in  the  Cafe'  Nuovo. 
It  was  once  a  palace.  Lofty  ceilings,  glitter 
ing  walls,  marble  pavements,  countless  tables, 
luxurious  couches,  immense  mirrors,  all  dazzle 
the  eye.  The  hubbub  is  immense,  the  confu 
sion  overpowering. 

The  European  mode  of  life  is  not  bad.  Lodp- 
ings  in  roomy  apartments,  where  one  sleeps  and 
attends  to  one's  private  affairs  ;  meals  altogeth 
er  at  the  cafe'.  There  one  invites  one's  friends. 
No  delay  with  dinner  ;  no  badly-cooked  dishes  ; 
no  stale  or  stmr  bread ;  no  timid,  overworn 
wife  trembling  for  the  result  of  new  experiments 
in  housekeeping.  On  the  contrary,  one  has  : 
prompt  meals  ;  exquisite  food  ;  delicious  bread ; 
polite  waiters ;  and  happy  wife,  with  plenty  of 
leisure  at  home  to  improve  mind  and  adorn 
body. 

The  first  visit  which   the  Club   paid  to  the 
Cafe'  Nuovo  was  an  eventful  one.      News  had 
just  been  received  of  the  great  strife  at  Magenta. 
Every  one  was  wild.     The  two  Galignani's  had 
been   appropriated   by  two  Italians,  who  were 
surrounded  by  forty-seven  frenzied  Englishmen, 
all  eager  to  get  hold  of  the  papers.     The  Ital 
ians  obligingly  tried  to  read  the  news.       The 
I  wretched  mangle  which  they  made  of  the  lan- 
I  guage,  the  impatience,  the  excitement,  and  the 
I  perplexity  of  the  audience,  combined  with  the 
!  splendid  self-complacency  of  the  readers,  formed 
a  striking  scene. 

The  Italians  gathered  in  a  vast  crowd  in  one 
of  the  billiard-rooms,  where  one  of  their  num 
ber,  mounted  on  a  table,  was  reading  with  ter 
rific  volubility,  and  still  more  terrific  gesticula 
tions,  a  private  letter  from  a  friend  at  Milan. 

"  Bravo !"  cried  all  present. 

In  pronouncing  which  word  the  Italians  rolled 
the  "r"  so  tumultuously  that  the  only  audible 
sound  was — 

B-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-ah ! 
Like  the  letter  B  in  a  railway  train. 

The  best  of  all  was  to  see  the  French.  They 
were  packed  in  a  dense  mass  at  the  furthest  ex 
tremity  of  the  Grand  Saloon.  Every  one  was 
talking.  Every  one  was  describing  to  his 
neighbor  the  minute  particulars  of  the  tremen 
dous  contest.  Old  soldiers,  hoarse  with  ex 
citement,  emulated  the  volubility  of  younger 
ones.  A  thousand  arms  waved  energetically  in 
the  air.  Every  one  was  too  much  interested  in 
his  own  description  to  heed  his  neighbor.  They 
were  all  talkers,  no  listeners. 

A  few  Germans  were  there,  but  they  sat  for 
saken  and  neglected.  Even  the  waiters  for 
sook  them.  So  they  smoked  the  cigars  of  sweet 
and  bitter  fancy,  occasionally  conversing  in  thick 
gutturals.  It  was  evident  that  they  considered 
the  present  occasion  as  a  combined  crow  of  the 
whole  Latin  race  over  the  German.  So  they 
looked  on  with  impassive  faces. 


THE  DODGE  CLUB ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


NEWS  OP  MAGENTA! 


Perhaps  the  most  stolid  of  all  was  Meinheer 
Schatt,  who  smoked  and  sipped  coffee  alternate 
ly,  stopping  after  each  sip  to  look  around  with 
mild  surprise,  to  stroke  his  forked  beard,  and 
to  ejaculate — 

"  Gr-r-r-r-r-r-acious  me !" 

Him  the  Senator  saw  and  accosted,  who, 
making  room  for  the  Senator,  conversed  with 
much  animation.  After  a  time  the  others  took 
seats  near  them,  -and  formed  a  neutral  party. 
At  this  moment  a  small-sized  gentleman  with 
black  twinkling  eyes  came  rushing  past,  and 
burst  into  the  thick  of  the  crowd  of  Frenchmen. 
At  the  sight  of  him  Buttons  leaped  up,  and 
cried : 

"  There's  Francia !     I'll  catch  him  now !" 

Francia  shouted  a  few  words  which  set  the 
Frenchmen  wild. 

"  The  Allies  have  entered  Milan !  A  dis 
patch  has  just  arrived !" 

There  burst  a  shrill  yell  of  triumph  from  the 
insane  Frenchmen.  There  was  a  wild  rushing 
to  and  fro,  and  the  crowd  swayed  backward  and 
forward.  The  Italians  came  pouring  in  from 
the  other  room.  One  word  was  sufficient  to 


tell  them  all.  It  was  a  great  sight  to  see.  On 
each  individual  the  news  produced  a  different 
effect.  Some  stood  still  as  though  petrified ; 
others  flung  up  their  arms  and  yelled ;  others 
cheered ;  others  upset  tables,  not  knowing  what 
they  were  doing;  others  threw  themselves  into 
one  another's  arms,  and  embraced  and  kissed  ; 
others  wept  for  joy: — these  last  were  Milanese. 
Buttons  was  trying  to  find  Francia.  The 
rush  of  the  excited  crowd  bore  him  away,  and 
his  efforts  were  fruitless.  In  fact,  when  he  ar 
rived  at  the  place  where  that  gentleman  had 
been,  he  was  gone.  The  Germans  began  to 
look  more  uncomfortable  than  ever.  At  length 
Meinheer  Schatt  proposed  that  they  should  all 
go  in  a  bodv  to  the  Cafe'  Scacchi.  So  they  all 
left. 


CHAPTER  XXIV. 

CHECKMATE  ! 

THE  Cafe  Scacchi,  as  its  name  implies,  is  de 
voted  to  chess.  Germans  patronize  it  to  a  great 
extent.  Politics  do  not  enter  into  the  precincts 
sacred  to  Caissa. 


THE  DODGE  CLUB  ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


After  they  had  been  seated  about  an  hour 
Buttons  entered.  He  had  not  been  able  to  find 
Francia.  To  divert  his  melancholy  he  proposed 
that  Meinheer  Schatt  should  play  a  game  of 
chess  with  the  Senator.  Now,  chess  was  the 
Senator's  hobby.  He  claimed  to  be  the  best 
ji  layer  in  his  State.  With  a  patronizing  smile 
he  consented  to  play  with  a  tyro  like  Meinheer 
Schatt.  At  the  end  of  one  game  Meinheer 
Schatt  stroked  his  beard  and  meekly  said — 

" Gr-r-r-acious  me!" 

The  Senator  frowned  and  bit  his  lips.  He 
was  checkmated. 

Another  game.  Meinheer  Schatt  played  in 
a  calm,  and  some  might  say  a  stupid,  manner. 

"Gr-r-r-acious  me!" 

It  was  a  drawn  game. 

Another :  this  was  a  very  long  game.  The 
Senator  played  laboriously.  It  was  no  ,use. 
Slowly  and  steadily  Meinheer  Schatt  won  the 
game. 

When  he  uttered  his  usual  exclamation  the 
Senator  felt  strongly  inclined  to  throw  the  board 
at  his  head.  However,  he  restrained  himself, 
and  they  commenced  another  game.  Much  to 
his  delight  the  Senator  beat.  He  now  began 
to  explain  to  Buttons  exactly  why  it  was  that 
he  had  not  beaten  before. 

Another  game  followed.  The  Senator  lost 
woefully.  His  defeat  was  in  fact  disgraceful. 
When  Meinheer  Schatt  said  the  ominous  word 
the  Senator  rose,  and  was  so  overcome  with  vex 
ation  that  he  had  not  the  courtesy  to  say — Good 
night. 

As  they  passed  out  Meinheer  Schatt  was  seen 
staring  after  them  with  his  large  blue  eyes, 
stroking  his  beard,  and  whispering  to  himself — 

"  Gr-r-r-acious  me !" 


CHAPTER  XXV. 

BUTTONS  A  MAN  OF  ONE  IDEA. — DICK  AND  HIS 
MEASURING  TAPE. — DAKK  EYES. — SUSCEPTIBLE 
HEART. — YOUNG  MAIDEN  WHO  LIVES  OUT  OF 
TOWN. — GRAND  COLLISION  OF  TWO  ABSTRACTED 
LOVERS  IN  THE  PUBLIC  STREETS. 

Too  much  blame  can  not  be  given  to  Buttons 
for  his  behavior  at  this  period.  He  acted  as 
though  the  whole  motive  of  his  existence  was 
to  find  the  Francias.  To  this  he  devoted  his 
days,,  and  of  this  he  dreamed  at  night.  He  de 
serted  his  friends.  Left  to  themselves,  without 
his  moral  influence  to  keep  them  together  and 
give  aim  to  their  efforts,  each  one  followed  his 
own  inclination. 

Mr.  Figgs  spent  the  whole  of  his  time  in  the 
Cafe  Nuovo,  drawing  out  plans  of  dinners  for 
each  successive  day.  The  Doctor,  after  sleep 
ing  till  noon,  lounged  on  the  Pincian'Hill  till 
evening,  when  he  joined  Mr.  Figgs  at  dinner. 
The  Senator  explored  every  nook  and  corner  of 
Rome.  At  first  Dick  accompanied  him,  but 
gradually  they  diverged  from  one  another  in 
different  paths.  The  Senator  visited  every 
place  in  the  city,  peered  into  dirty  houses,  exam 
ined  pavements,  investigated  fountains,  stared 
hard  at  the  beggars,  and  looked  curiously  at 
the  Swiss  Guard  in  the  Pope's  Palace.  He 
soon  became  known  to  the  lower  classes,  who 
recognized  with  a  grin  the  tall  foreigner  that 
shouted  queer  foreign  words  and  made  funny 
gestures. 

Dick  lived  among  churches,  palaces,  and  ru 
ins.  Tired  at  length  of  wandering,  he  attached 
himself  to  some  artists,  in  whose  studios  he 
passed  the  greater  part  of  his  afternoons.  He 
became  personally  acquainted  with  nearly  every 
member  of  the  fraternity,  to  whom  he  endeared 
himself  by  the  excellence  of  his  tobacco,  and 
his  great  capacity  for  listening.  Your  talkative 
people  bore  artists  more  than  any  others. 

"What  a  lovely  girl!  What  a  look  she 
gave !" 

Such  was  the  thought  that  burst  upon  the 
soul  of  Dick,  after  a  little  visit  to  a  little  church 


BEFORE  AND   AFTEB. 


THE  DODGE  CLUB ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


G7 


that  goes  by  the  name  of  Saint  Somebody  ai 
quattri  fontani.  He  had  visited  it  simply  be 
cause  he  had  heard  that  its  dimensions  exactly 
correspond  with  those  of  each  of  the  chief  piers 
that  support  the  dome  of  Saint  Peter's.  As  he 
wished  to  be  accurate,  he  had  taken  a  tape-line, 
and  began  stretching  it  from  the  altar  to  the 
door.  The  astonished  priests  at  first  stood  par 
alyzed  by  his  sacrilegious  impudence,  but  final 
ly,  after  a  consultation,  they  came  to  him  and 
ordered  him  to  be  gone.  Dick  looked  up  with 
mild  wonder.  They  indignantly  repeated  the 
order. 

Dick  was  extremely  sorry  that  he  had  given 
offense.  Wouldn't  they  overlook  it?  He  was 
a  stranger,  and  did  not  know  that  they  would 
be  unwilling.  However,  since  he  had  begun, 
he  supposed  they  would  kindly  permit  him  to 
finish. 

— "They  would  kindly  do  no  such  thing," 
remarked  one  of  the  priests,  brusquely.  "  Was 
their  church  a  common  stable  or  a  wine-shop 
that  he  should  presume  to  molest  them  at  their 
services?  If  he  had  no  religion,  could  he  not 
have  courtesy ;  or,  if  he  had  no  faith  himself, 
could  he  not  respect  the  faith  of  others  ?" 

Dick  felt  abashed.  The  eyes  of  all  the  wor 
shipers  were  on  him,  and  it  was  while  rolling 
up  his  tape  that  his  eyes  met  the  glance  of  a 
beautiful  Italian  girl,  who  was  kneeling  oppo 
site.  The  noise  had  disturbed  her  devotions, 
and  she  had  turned  to  see  what  it  was.  It  was 
a  thrilling  glance  from  deep  black  lustrous  orbs, 
in  which  there  was  a  soft  and  melting  languor 
which  he  could  not  resist.  He  went  out  daz 
zled,  and  so  completely  bewildered  that  he  did 
not  think  of  waiting.  After  he  had  gone  a  few 
blocks  he  hurried  back.  She  had  gone.  How 
ever,  the  impression  of  her  face  remained. 

He  went  so  often  to  the  little  church  that  the 
priests  noticed  him ;  but  finding  that  he  was 
qmet  and  orderly  they  were  not  offended.  One 
of  them  seemed  to  think  that  his  rebuke  had 
awakened  the  young  foreigner  to  a  sense  of 
higher  things  ;  so  he  one  day  accosted  him  with 
much  politeness.  The  priest  delicately  brought 
•forward  the  claims  of  religion.  Dick  listened 
meekly.  At  length  he  asked  the  priest  if  he 
recollected  a  certain  young  girl  with  beautiful 
face,  wonderful  eyes,  and  marvellous  appearance 
that  was  worshiping  there  on  the  day  that  he 
came  to  measure  the  church. 

"  Yes,"  said  the  priest,  coldly. 

Could  he  tell  her  name  and  where  she  lived  ? 

"Sir, "said  the  priest,  "I  had  hoped  that 
you  came  here  from  a  higher  motive.  It  will 
do  you  no  good  to  know,  and  I  therefore  decline 
telling  you." 

Dick  begged  most  humbly,  but  the  priest  was 
inexorable.  At  last  Dick  remembered  having 
heard  that  an  Italian  was  constitutionally  un 
able  to  resist  a  bribe.  He  thought  he  might 
try.  True,  the  priest  was  a  gentleman ;  but 
perhaps  an  Italian  gentleman  was  different  from 
an  English  or  American;  so  he  put  his  hand 
in  his  pocket,  and  blushing  violently,  brought 


forth  a  gold  piece  of  about  twenty  dollars  value. 
He  held  it  out.  The  priest  stared  at  him  with 
a  look  that  was  appalling. 

"  If  you  know — "  faltered  Dick — ' '  any  one — 
of  course  I  don't  mean  yourself — far  from  it — 
but — that  is — " 

"  Sir,"  cried  the  priest,  "who  are  you?  Are 
there  no  bounds  to  your  impudence?  Have 
you  come  to  insult  me  because  I  am  a  priest, 
and  therefore  can  not  revenge  myself?  Away !" 

The  priest  choked  with  rage.  Dick  walked 
out.  Bitterly  he  cursed  his  wretched  stupidity 
that  had  led  him  to  this.  His  very  ears  tingled 
with  shame  as  he  saw  the  full  extent  of  the  in 
sult  that  he  had  offered  to  a  priest  and  a  gen 
tleman.  He  concluded  to  leave  Rome  at  once. 

But  at  the  very  moment  when  he  had  made 
this  desperate  resolve  he  saw  some  one  coming. 
A  sBarp  thrill  went  through  his  heart. 

It  was  SHE  !  She  looked  at  him  and  glanced 
modestly  away.  Dick  at  once  walked  up  to 
her. 

"Signorina,"  said  he,  not  thinking  what  a 
serious  thing  it  was  to  address  an  Italian  maiden 
in  the  streets.  But  this  one  did  not  resent  it. 
She  looked  up  and  smiled.  "  What  a  smile !'.' 
thought  Dick. 

"  Signorina, "he  said  again,  and  then  stopped, 
not  knowing  what  to  say.  His  voice  was  very 
tremulous,  and  the  expreesion  of  his  face  ten 
der  and  beseeching.  His  eyes  told  all. 

"  Signore,"  said  the  girl,  with  a  sweet  smile. 
The  smile  encouraged  Dick. 

"Ehem — I  have  lost  my  way.  I — I — could 
you  tell  me  how  I  could  get  to  the  Piazza  del 
Popolo  ?  I  think  I  might  find  my  way  home 
from  there." 

The  girl's  eyes  beamed  with  a  mischievous 
light. 

"Oh  yes,  most  easily.  You  go  down  that 
street ;  when  you  pass  four  side-streets  you  turn 
to  the  left — the  left — remember,  and  then  you 
keep  on  till  you  come  to  a  large  church  with  a 
fountain  before  it,  then  you  turn  round  that,  and 
you  see  the  obelisk  of  the  Piazza  del  Popolo." 

Her  voice  was  the  sweetest  that  Dick  had 
ever  heard.  He  listened  as  he  would  listen  to 
music,  and  did  not  hear  a  single  word  that  he 
comprehended. 

"Pardon me, "said he,  "but  would  you  please 
to  tell  me  again.  I  can  not  remember  all. 
Three  streets  ?" 

The  girl  laughed  and  repeated  it 

Dick  sighed. 

"I'm  a  stranger  here,  and  am  afraid  that  I 
can  not  find  my  way.  I  left  my  map  at  home. 
If  I  could  find  some  one  who  would  go  with  me 
and  show  me." 

He  looked  earnestly  at  her,  but  she  modestly 
made  a  movement  to  go. 

"Are  you  in  a  great  hurry?"  said  he. 

"  No,  Signore,"  replied  the  girl,  softly. 

"Could  you — a — a — would  you  be  willing — 
to — to — walk  a  little  part  of  the  way  with  me, 
and — show  me  a  very  little  part  of  the  way — 
only  a  very  little?" 


68 


THE  DODGE  CLUB  ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


AWAY  ! 

The  girl  seemed  half  to  consent,  but  mod 
estly  hesitated,  and  a  faint  flush  stole  over  her 
face. 

"Ah  do!"  said  Dick.      He  was   desperate. 

"It's  my  only  chance,"  thought  he. 

The  girl  softly  assented  and  walked  on  with 
him. 

"I  am  very  much  obliged  to  yon  for  your 
kindness,"  said  Dick.  "It's  very  hard  for  a 
stranger  to  find  his  way  in  Rome." 

""But,  Signore,  by  this  time  you  ought  to 
know  the  whole  of  our  city." 

"What?     How?" 

"Why,  you  have  been  here  three  weeks  at 
least." 

"  How  do  you  know  ?"  and  the  young  man 
blushed  to  his  eyes.  He  had  been  telling  lies, 
and  she  knew  it  all  the  time. 

"  Oh,  I  saw  you  once  in  the  church,  and  I 
have  seen  you  with  that  tall  man.  Is  he  your 
father  ?" 

"  No,  only  a  friend." 

"I  saw  you,"  and  she  shook  her  little  head 
triumphantly,  and  her  eyes  beamed  with  fun 
and  laughter. 


"Any  way,"  thought  Dick,  "she  ought  to 
understand." 

''And  did  you  see  me  when  I  was  in  that 
little  church  with  a  measuring  line  ?" 

The  young  girl  looked  up  at  him,  her  large 
eyes  reading  his  very  soul. 

"  Did  I  look  at  you?     Why,  I  was  praying." 

"You  looked  at  me,  and  I  have  never  for 
gotten  it." 

Another  glance  as  though  to  assure  herself 
of  Dick's  meaning.  The  next  moment  her 
eyes  sank  and  her  face  flushed  crimson.  Dick's 
heart  beat  so  fast  that  he  could  not  speak  for 
some  time. 

"  Signore,"  said  the  young  girl  at  last,  "  when 
you  turn  that  corner  you  will  see  the  Piazza  del 
Popolo." 

"  Will  you  not  walk  as  far  as  that  corner?" 
said  Dick. 

"Ah,  Signore,  I  am  afraid  I  will  not  have 
time." 

"Will  I  never  see  you  again?"  asked  he, 
mournfully. 

"  I  do  not  know,  Signore.  You  ought  to 
know." 

A  pause.  Both  had  stopped,  and  Dick  was 
looking  earnestly  at  her,  but  she  was  looking  at 
the  ground. 

"  How  can  I  know  when  I  do  not  know  even 
your  name  ?  Let  me  know  that,  so  that  I  may 
think  about  it." 

"  Ah,  how  you  try  to  flatter !  My  name  is 
Pepita  Gianti." 

"And  do  you  live  far  from  here?" 

"Yes.  I  live  close  by  the  Basilica  di  San 
Paolo  fuori  le  mure." 

"  A  long  distance.     I  was  out  there  once." 

"I  saw  you." 

Dick  exulted. 

"How  many  times  have  you  seen  me?  I 
have  only  seen  you  once  before." 

"Oh,  seven  or  eight  times." 

"And  will  this  be  the  last?"  said  Dick,  be 
seechingly. 

"Signore,  if  I  wait  any  longer  the  gates  will 
be  shut." 

"  Oh,  then,  before  you  go,  tell  me  where  I 
!  can  find  you  to-morrow.  If  I  walk  out  on  that 
road  will  I  see  you  ?  Will  you  come  in  to-mor 
row?  or  will  you  stay  out  there  and  shall  I  go 
there  ?  Which  of  the  houses  do  you  live  in  ?  or 
where  can  I  find  you  ?  If  you  lived  over  on  the 
Alban  Hills  I  would  walk  everyday  to  find  you." 

Dick  spoke  with  ardor  and  impetuosity.  The 
deep  feeling  which  he  showed,  and  the  mingled 
eagerness  and  delicacy  which  he  exhibited, 
seemed  not  offensive  to  his  companion.  She 
looked  up  timidly. 

"  When  to-morrow  comes  you  will  be  think 
ing  of  something  else — or  perhaps  away  on  those 
Alban  mountains.      You  will  forget  all  about 
me.     What  is  the  use  of  telling  you  ?     I  ought ' 
to  go  now." 

"  I'll  never  forget !"  burst  forth  Dick.  "  Nev 
er — never.  Believe  me.  On  my  soul ;  and  oh, 
Signorina,  it  is  not  much  to  ask!" 


THE  DODGE  CLUB  ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


G9 


His  ardor  carried  him  away.  In  the  broad 
street  he  actually  made  a  gesture  as  though  he 
would  take  her  hand.  The  young  girl  drew 
back  blushing  deeply.  She  looked  at  him  with 
a  reproachful  glance. 

"  You  forget — " 

Whereupon  Dick  interrupted  her  with  innu 
merable  apologies. 

"  You  do  not  deserve  forgiveness.  But  I  will 
forgive  you  if  you  leave  me  now.  Did  I  not 
tell  you  that  I  was  in  a  hurry  ?" 

"  Will  you  not  tell  me  where  I  can  see  you 
again  ?" 

"  I  suppose  I  will  be  walking  out  about  this 
time  to-morrow." 

"  Oh,  Signorina  !  and  I  will  be  at  the  gate." 

"If  yon  don't  forget." 

"Would  you  be  angry  if  you  saw  me  at  the 
gate  this  evening?" 

"Yes^  for  friends  are  going  out  with  me. 
Addio,  Signore." 

The  young  girl  departed,  leaving  Dick  rooted 
to  the  spot.  After  a  while  he  went  on  to  the 
Piazza  del  Popolo.  A  thousand  feelings  agi 
tated  him.  Joy,  triumph,  perfect  bliss,  were 
mingled  with  countless  tender  recollections  of 
the  glance,  the  smile,  the  tone,  and  the  blushes 
of  Pepita.  He  walked  on  with  new  life.  So 
abstracted  was  his  mind  in  all  kinds  of  delicious 
anticipations  that  he  ran  full  against  a  man  who 
was  hurrying  at  full  speed  and  in  equal  abstrac 
tion  in  the  opposite  direction.  There  was  a  re 
coil.  Both  fell.  Both  began  to  make  apolo 
gies.  But  suddenly : 

"Why,  Buttons!" 

"Why,  Dick!" 

"  Where  in  the  world  did  you  come  from  ?" 

"Where  in  the  world  did  you  come  from?" 

"  What  are  you  after,  Buttons  ?" 

"  Did  you  see  a  carriage  passing  beyond  that 
corner  ?" 

"  No,  none." 

"  You  must  have  seen  it." 

"Well,  I  didn't." 

"  Why,  it  must  have  just  passed  you." 

"  I  saw  none." 


"Confound  it!" 

Buttons  hurriedly  left,  and  ran  all  the  way  to 
the  corner,  round  which  he  passed. 


CHAPTER  -XXVI. 

CONSEQUENCES  OF  BEING  GALLANT  IN  ITALT, 
WHERE  THERE  ARE  LOVERS,  HUSBANDS,  BROTH 
ERS,  FATHERS,  COUSINS,  AND  INNUMERABLE 
OTHER  RELATIVES  AND  CONNECTIONS,  ALL 
READY  WITH  THE  STILETTO. 

AFTER  his  meeting  with  Pepita,  Dick  found 
it  extremely  difficult  to  restrain  his  impatience 
until  the  following  evening.  'He  was  at  the 
gate  long  before  the  time,  waiting  with  trem 
bling  eagerness. 

It  was  nearly  sundown  before  she  came ;  but 
she  did  come  at  last.  Dick  watched  her  with 
strange  emotions,  murmuring  to  himself  all 
those  peculiar  epithets  which  are  commonly 
used  by  people  in  his  situation.  The  young 
girl  was  unmistakably  lovely,  and  her  grace  and 
beauty  might  have  affected  a  sterner  heart  than 
Dick's. 

"  Now  I  wonder  if  she  knows  how  perfectly 
and  radiantly  lovely  she  is,"  thought  he,  as  she 
looked  at  him  and  smiled. 

He  joined  her  a  little  way  from  the  gate. 

"  So  you  do  not  forget." 

"/forget !  Before  I  spoke  to  you  I  thought 
of  you  without  ceasing,  and  now  I  can  never 
forget  you." 

"  Do  your  friends  know  where  you  are?"  she 
asked,  timidly. 

"  Do  yon  think  I  would  tell  them  ?" 

"  Are  you  going  to  stay  long  in  Rome  ?" 

"  I  will  not  go  away  for  a  long  time." 

"  You  are  an  American." 

"  Yes." 

"America  is  very  far  away." 

"But  it  is  easy  to  get  there." 

"  How  long  will  you  be  in  Rome  ?" 

"  I  don't  know.     A  very  long  time." 

"  Not  in  the  summer?" 

"  Yes,  in  the  summer." 

' '  But  the  malaria.  Are  you  not  afraid  'of 
that  ?  Will  your  friends  stay  ?" 

"I  do  not  care  whether  my  friends  do  or 
not." 

"  But  you  will  be  left  alone." 

"  I  suppose  so." 

' '  But  what  will  you  do  for  company  ?  It  will 
be  very  lonely. " 

"I  will  think  of  you  all  day,  and  at  evening 
come  to  the  gate." 

' '  Oh,  Signore  !    You  jest  now ! " 

"  How  can  I  jest  with  you  ?" 

"You  don't  mean  what  you  say." 

"Pepita!" 

Pepita  blushed  and  looked  embarrassed. 
Dick  had  called  her  by  her  Christian  name ; 
but  she  did  not  appear  to  resent  it. 

"  You  don't  know  who  I  am,"  she  said  at 
last.  "  Why  do  you  pretend  to  be  so  friendly  ?" 

"  I  know  that  you   are  Pepita,  and  I  don't 


70 


THE  DODGE  CLUB ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


want  to  know  any  thing  more,  except  one  thing, 
which  I  am  afraid  to  ask." 

Pepita  quickened  her  pace. 

"Do  not  walk  so  fast,  Pepifa,"  said  Dick, 
beseechingly.  "Let  the  walk  be  as  long  as 
you  can." 

"  But  if  I  walked  so  slowly  you  would  never 
let  me  get  home." 

"  I  wish  I  could  make  the  walk  so  slow  that 
we  could  spend  a  life-time  on  the  road." 

Pepita  laughed.  "That  would  be  a  long 
time." 

It  was  getting  late.  The  sun  was  half-way 
below  the  horizon.  The  sky  was  flaming  with 
golden  light,  which  glanced  dreamily  through 
the  hazy  atmosphere.  Every  thing  was  toned 
down  to  soft  beauty.  Of  course  it  was  the  sea 
son  for  lovers  and  lovers'  vows.  Pepita  walked 
a  little  more  slowly  to  oblige  Dick.  She  uttered 
an  occasional  murmur  at  their  slow  progress, 
but  still  did  not  seem  eager  to  quicken  her  pace. 
Every  step  was  taken  unwillingly  by  Dick,  who 
wanted  to  prolong  the  happy  time. 

Pepita's  voice  was  the  sweetest  in  the  world, 
and  her  soft  Italian  sounded  more  musically 
than  that  language  had  ever  sounded  before. 
She  seemed  happy,  and  by  many  little  signs 
showed  that  her  companion  was  not  indifferent 
to  her.  At  length  Dick  ventured  to  offer  his 
arm.  She  rested  her  hand  on  it  very  gently, 
and  Dick  tremulously  took  it  in  his.  The  little 
hand  fluttered  for  a  Jew  minutes,  and  then  sank 
to  rest. 

The  sun  had  now  set.  Evening  in  Italy  is 
far  different  from  what  it  is  in  northern  lati 
tudes.  There  it  comes  on  gently  and  slowly, 
sometimes  prolonging  its  presence  for  hours, 
and  the  light  will  be  visible  until  very  late.  In 
Italy,  however,  it  is  short  and  abrupt.  Almost 
as  soon  as  the  sun  disappears  the  thick  shad 
ows,  come  swiftly  on  and  cover  every  thing.  It 
was  so  at  this  time.  It  seemed  but  a  moment 
after  sunset,  and  yet  every  thing  was  growing 
indistinct.  The  clumps  of  trees  grew  black ; 
the  houses  and  walls  of  the  city  behind  all  faded 
into  a  mass  of  gloom.  The  stars  shone  faintly. 
There  was  no  moon. 

"  I  will  be  very  late  to-night,"  said  Pepita, 
timidly. 

"  But  are  yon  much  later  than  usual  ?" 

"  Oh,  very  much  !" 

"  There  is  no  danger,  is  there  ?  But  if  there 
is  you  are  safe.  I  can  protect  you.  Can  you 
trust  me  ?" 

"Yes,"  said  Pepita,  in  a  low  voice. 

It  was  too  dark  to  see  the  swiftly-changing 
color  of  Pepita's  face  as  Dick  murmured  some 
words  in  her  ear.  But  her  hand  trembled  vio 
lently  as  Dick  held  it.  She  did  not  say  a  word 
in  response.  Dick  stood  still  for  a  moment  and 
begged  her  to  answer  him.  She  made  an  effort 
and  whispered  some  indistinct  syllables.  Where 
upon  Dick  called  her  by  every  endearing  name 
that  he  could  think  of,  and Hasty  foot 
steps!  Exclamations!  Shouts!  They  were 
surrounded!  Twelve  men  ormore — stout,  strong 


fellows,  magnified  by  the  gloom.    Pepita  shriek 
ed. 

"Who  are  you?"  cried  Dick.      "Away,  or  • 
I'll  shoot  you  all.     I'm  armed." 

"Boh !"  said  one  of  the  men,  contemptuously. 

"  Off!"  cried  Dick,  as  the  fellow  drew  near. 

He  put  himself  before  Pepita  to  protect  her, 
and  thrust  his  right  hand  in  the  breast-pocket 
of  his  coat. 

"Who  is  that  with  you?"  said  a  voice. 

At  the  sound  of  the  voice  Pepita  uttered  a 
cry.  Darting  from  behind  Dick  she  rushed  up 
to  him. 

"It  is  Pepita,  Luigi !" 

"Pepita!  Sister!  What  do  you  mean  by 
this  ?"  said  the  man  hoarsely.  "  Why  are  you 
so  late?  Who  is  this  man?" 

"  An  American  gentleman  who  walked  out 
as  far  as  this  to  protect  me,"  said  Pepita,  burst 
ing  into  tears. 

"An  American  gentleman!"  said  Luigi,  with 
a  bitter  sneer.  "  He  came  to^rotect  you,  did 
he  ?  Well ;  we  will  show  him  in  a  few  min 
utes  how  grateful  we  are." 

Dick  stood  with  folded  arms  awaiting  the  re 
sult  of  all  this. 

"Luigi!  dearest  brother!"  cried  Pepita,  with 
a  shudder,  "  on  my  soul — in  the  name  of  the 
Holy  Mother — he  is  an  honorable  American 
gentleman,  and  he  came  to  protect  me." 

"  Oh  !  we  know,  and  we  will  reward  him." 

"Luigi!  Luigi!"  moaned  Pepita,  "if  you 
hurt  him  I  will  die!" 

"Ah!  Has  it  come  to  that?"  said  Luigi, 
bitterly.  "  A  half-hour's  acquaintance,  and  you 
talk  of  dying.  Here,  Pepita;  go  home  with 
Ricardo."  . 

"  I  will  not.  I  will  not  go  a  step  unless  you 
let  him  go." 

"  Oh,  we  will  let  him  go !" 

"Promise  me  you  will  not  hurt  him." 

"Pepita,  go  home!"  cried  her  brother, 
sternly. 

"I  will  not  unless  you  promise." 

"Foolish  girl!  Do  you  suppose  we  are  go 
ing  to  break  the  laws  and  get  into  trouble  ? 
No,  no.  Come,  go  home  with  Ricardo.  I'm  go 
ing  to  the  city." 

Ricardo  came  forward,  and  Pepita  allowed 
herself  to  be  led  away. 

When  she  was  out  of  sight  and  hearing  Lui 
gi  approached  Dick.  Amid  the  gloom  Dick  did 
not  see  the  wrath  and  hate  that  might  have  been 
on  his  face,  but  the  tone  of  his  voice  was  pas 
sionate  and  menacing.  He  prepared  for  the 
worst. 

"That is  my  sister. — Wretch!  what  did  you 
mean  ?" 

"  I  swear — " 

' '  Peace !  We  will  give  you  cause  to  remem 
ber  her." 

Dick  saw  that  words  and  excuses  were  useless. 
He  thought  his  hour  had  come.  He  resolved  to 
die  game.  He  hadn't  a  pistol.  His  manoeuvre 
of  putting  his  hand  in  his  pocket  was  merely  in 
tended  to  deceive.  The  Italians  thought  that 


THE  DODGE  CLUB ;  OK,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


71 


if  he  had  one  he  would  have 
done  more  than  mention  it. 
He  would  at  least  have  shown 
it.  He  had  stationed  him 
self  under  a  tree.  The  men 
were  before  him.  Lui;j;i  rush 
ed  at  him  like  a  wild  beast. 
Dick  gave  him  a  tremendous 
blow  between  his  eyes  that 
knocked  him  headlong. 

"You  can  kill  me,"  he 
shouted,  "but  you'll  find  it 
hard  work !" 

Up  jumped  Luigi,  full  of 
fury;  half  a  dozen  others 
rushed  simultaneously  at 
Dick.  He  struck  out  two 
vigorous  blows,  which  crash 
ed  against  the  faces  of  two  of 
them.  The  next  moment  he 
was  on  the  ground.  On  the 
ground,  but  striking  well- 
aimed  blows  and  kicking  vig 
orously.  He  kicked  one  fel 
low  completely  over.  The 
brutal  Italians  struck  and 
kicked  him  in  return.  At 
last  a  tremendous  blow  de 
scended  on  his  head.  He 
sank  senseless. 

When  he  revived  it  was 
intensely  dark.  He  was 
covered  with  painful  bruises. 
His  'head  ached  violently. 
He  could  see  nothing.  He 
arose  and  tried  to  walk,  but 
soon  fell  exhausted.  So  he 
crawled  closer  to  the  trunk 
of  the  tree,  and  groaned  there 
in  his  pain.  At  last  he  fell 
into  a  light  sleep,  that  was 
much  interrupted  by  his  suffering. 

He  awoke  at  early  twilight.  He  was  stiff  and 
sore,  but  very  much  refreshed.  His  head  did 
not  pain  so  excessively.  He  heard  the  trickling 
of  water  near,  and  saw  a  brook.  There  he  went 
and  washed  himself.  •  The  water  revived  him 
greatly.  Fortunately  his  clothes  were  only 
slightly  torn.  After  washing  the  blood  from 
his  face,  and  buttoning  his  coat  over  his  blood 
stained  shirt,  and  brushing  the  dirt  from  his 
clothes,  he  ventured  to  return  to  the  city. 

He  crawled  rather  than  walked,  often  stop 
ping  to  rest,  and  once  almost  fainting  from  ut 
ter  weakness.  But  at  last  he  reached  the  city, 
and  managed  to  find  a  wine-cart,  the  only  vehi 
cle  that  he  could  see,  which  took  him  to  his 
lodgings.  He  reached  his  room  before  any  of 
the  others  were  up,  and  went  to  bed. 


AN   INTERRUPTION. 

CHAPTER  XXVII. 

DICK  ON  THE  SICK  LIST. — RAPTURE  OF  BUTTONS 
AT  MAKING  AN  IMPORTANT  DISCOVER?. 

GREAT  was  the  surprise  of  all  on  the  follow 
ing  morning  at  finding  that  Dick  was  confined 
to  his  bed.  All  were  very  anxious,  and  even 
Buttons  showed  considerable  feeling.  For  as 
much  as  a  quarter  of  an  hour  he  ceased  thinking 
about  the  Spaniards.  Poor  Dick!  What  on 
earth  was  the  matter?  Had  he  fever?  No. 
Perhaps  it  was  the  damp  night-air.  He  should 
not  have  been  out  so  late.  Where  was  he  ?  A 
confounded  pity !  The  Doctor  felt  his  pulse. 
There  was  no  fever.  The  patient  was  very 
pale,  and  evidently  in  great  pain.  His  com 
plaint  was  a  mystery.  However,  the  Doctor 
recommended  perfect  quiet,  and  hoped  that  a 
few  days  would  restore  him.  Dick  said  not  a 
word  about  the  events  of  the  evening.  He 
thought  it  would  do  no  good  to  tell  them.  He 
was  in  great  pain.  His  body  was  black  with 
frightful  bruises,  and  the  depression  of  his  mind 
was  as  deep  as  the  pain  of  his  body. 

The   others   went  out  at  their  usual  hour. 


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THE  DODGE  CLUB  ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


The  kind-hearted  Senator  remained  at  home  all 
day,  and  sat  by  Dick's  bedside,  sometimes  talk 
ing,  sometimes  reading.  Dick  begged  him  not 
to  put  himself  to  so  much  inconvenience  on  his 
account ;  but  such  language  was  distasteful  to 
the  Senator. 

"My  boy," he  said,  "I  know  that  you  would 
do  as  much  for  me.  Besides,  it  is  a  far  greater 
pleasure  to  do  any  thing  for  you  than  to  walk 
.  about  merely  to  gratify  myself.  Don't  apolo 
gize,  or  tell  me  that  I  am  troubling  myself. 
Leave  me  to  do  as  I  please." 

Dick's  grateful  look  expressed  more  than 
words. 

In  a  few  days  his  pain  had  diminished,  and 
it  was  evident  that  he  would  be  out  in  a  fort 
night  or  so.  The  kind  attentions  of  his  friends 
affected  him  greatly.  They  all  spent  more  time 
than  ever  in  his  room,  and  never  came  there 
without  bringing  him  some  little  trifle,  such  as 
grapes,  oranges,  or  other  fruit.  The  Senator 
hunted  all  over  Rome  for  a  book,  and  found 
Victor  Hugo's  works,  which  he  bought  on  a  vent 
ure,  and  had  the  gratification  of  seeing  that  it 
was  acceptable. 

All  suspected  something.  The  Doctor  had 
concluded  from  the  first  that  Dick  had  met 
with  an  accident.  They  had  too  much  delicacy 
to  question  him,  but  made  many  conjectures 
among  themselves.  The  Doctor  thought  that 
he  had  been  among  some  ruins,  and  met  with  a 
fall.  Mr.  Figgs  suggested  that  he  might  have 
been  run  over.  The  Senator  thought  it  was 
some  Italian  epidemic.  Buttons  was  incapable 
of  thinking  rationally  about  any  thing  just  then. 
He  was  the  victim  of  a  monomania  :  the  Span 
iards  ! 

About  a  week  after  Dick's  adventure  But 
tons  was  strolling  about  on  his  usual  quest, 
when  he  was  attracted  by  a  large  crowd  around 
the  Chiesa  di  Gesu.  The  splendid  equipages 
of  the  cardinals  were  crowded  about  the  princi 
pal  entrance,  and  from  the  interior  sounds  of 
music  came  floating  magnificently  down.  But 
tons  went  in  to  see  what  was  going  on.  A  vast 


crowd  filled  the  church.  Priests  in  gorgeous 
vestments  officiated  at  the  high  altar,  which 
was  all  ablaze  with  the  light  of  enormous  wax- 
candles.  The  gloom  of  the  interior  was  height 
ened  by  the  clouds  of  incense  that  rolled  on 
high  far  within  the  vaulted  ceiling. 

The  Pope  was  there.  In  one  of  the  adjoin 
ing  chambers  he  was  performing  a  ceremony 
\viiich  sometimes  takes  place  in  this  church. 
Guided  by  instinct,  Buttons  pressed  his  way 
into  the  chamber.  A  number  of  people  filled 
it.  Suddenly  he  uttered  an  exclamation. 

Just  as  His  Holiness  was  rising  to  leave,  But 
tons  saw  the  group  that  had  filled  his  thoughts 
for  weeks. 

The  Spaniards  !  No  mistake  this  time.  And 
he  had  been  right  all  along.  All  his  efforts 
had,  after  all,  been  based  on  something  tangi 
ble.  Not  in  vain  had  he  had  so  many  walks, 
runnings,  chasings,  searchings,  strolls,  so  many 
hopes,  fears,  desires,  discouragements.  He  was 
right !  Joy,  rapture,  bliss,  ecstasy,  delight ! 
There  they  were  :  the  little  Don — TUE  DONNA — 
IDA! 

Buttons,  lost  for  a  while  in  the  crowd,  and 
pressed  away,  never  lost  sight  of  the  Spaniards. 
They  did  not  see  him,  however,  until,  as  they 
slowly  moved  out,  they  were  stopped  and  greet 
ed  with  astonishing  eagerness.  The  Don  shook 
hands  cordially.  The  Donna — that  is,  the  eld 
er  sister — smiled  sweetly.  Ida  blushed  and 
cast  down  her  eyes. 

Nothing  could  be  more  gratifying  than  this 
reception.  Where  had  he  been  ?  How  long 
in  Rome  ?  Why  had  they  not  met  before  ? 
Strange  that  they  had  not  seen  him  about  the 
city.  And  had  he  really  been  here  three  weeks  ? 
Buttons  informed  them  that  he  had  seen  them 
several  times,  but  at  a  distance.  He  had  been 
at  all  the  hotels,  but  had  not  seen  their  names. 

Hotels !  Oli,  they  lived  in  lodgings  in  the 
Palazzo  Concini,  not  far  from  the  Piazza  del 
Popolo.  And  how  much  longer  did  he  intend 
to  stay  ? — Oh,  no  particular  time.  His  friends 
enjoyed  themselves  here  very  much.  He  did 


POOB  DICK! 


THE  DODGE  CLUB  ;  OK,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


73 


not  know  exactly  when  they  would  leave.  How 
long  would  they  remain  ? — They  intended  to 
leave  for  Florence  on  the  following  week. — Ah! 
He  was  thinking  of  leaving  for  the  same  place 
at  about  the  same  time.  Whereupon  the  Don 
expressed  a  polite  hope  that  they  might  see  one 
another  on  the  journey. 

By  this  time  the  crowd  had  diminished. 
They  looked  on  while  the  Pope  entered  his 
state-coach,  and  with  strains  of  music,  and 
prancing  of  horses,  and  array  of  dmgoons, 
drove  magnificently  away. 

The  Don  turned  to  Buttons  :  Would  he  not 
accompany  them  to  their  lodgings  ?  They  were 
just  about  returning  to  dinner.  If  he  were  dis 
engaged  they  should  be  most  happy  to  have  the 
honor  of  his  company. 

Buttons  tried  very  hard  to  look  as  though 
he  were  not  mad  with  eagerness  to  accept  the 
invitation,  but  not  very  successfully.  The  car 
riage  drove  off  rapidly.  The  Don  and  Buttons 
on  one  seat,  the  ladies  on  the  other. 

Then  the  face  of  Ida  as  she  sat  opposite ! 
Such  a  face  !  Such  a  smile  !  Such  witchery 
in  her  expression  !.  Such  music  in  her  laugh  ! 

At  any  rate  so  it  seemed  to  Buttons,  and  that 
is  all  that  is  needed. 

On  through  the  streets  of  Eome ;  past  the 
post-office,  round  the  column  of  Antoninus,  up 
the  Corso,  until  at  last  they  stopped  in  front  of 
an  immense  edifice  which  had  once  been  a  pal 
ace.  The  descendants  of  the  family  lived  in  a 
remote  corner,  and  their  poverty  compelled  them 
to  let  out  all  the  remainder  as  lodgings.  This 
is  no  uncommon  thing  in  Italy.  Indeed,  there 
are  so  many  ruined  nobles  in  the  country  that 
those  are  fortunate  who  have  a  shelter  over 
their  heads.  Buttons  remarked  this  to  the 
Don,  who  told  some  stories  of  these  fallen  no 
bles.  He  informed  him  that  in  Naples  their 
"laundress  was  said  to  be  the  last  scion  of  one 
of  the  most  ancient  families  in  the  kingdom. 
She  was  a  countess  in  her  own  right,  but  had 
to  work  at  menial  labor.  Moreover,  many  had 
sunk  down  to  the  grade  of  peasantry,  and  lived 
in  squalor  on  lands  which  were  once  the  estates 
of  their  ancestors. 

Buttons  spent  the  evening  there.  The  rooms 
were  elegant.  Books  lay  around  which  showed 
a  cultivated  taste.  The  young  man  felt  him 
self  in  a  realm  of  enchantment.  The  joy  of 
meeting  was  heightened  by  their  unusual  com 
plaisance.  During  the  evening  he  found  out 
all  about  them.  They  lived  in  Cadiz,  where 
the  Don  was  a  merchant.  This  was  their  first 
visit  to  Italy. 

They  all  had  fine  perceptions  for  the  beauti 
ful  in  art  or  nature,  and,  besides,  a  keen  sense 
of  the  ludicrous.  So,  when  Buttons,  growing 
communicative,  told  them  about  Mr.  Figgs's 
adventure  in  the  ball  of  St.  Peter's,  they  were 
greatly  amused.  He  told  about  the  adventures 
of  all  his  friends.  He  told  of  himself :  all  about 
the  chase  in  Naples  Bay,  #nd  his  pursuit  of  their 
carriage  from  St.  Peter's.  He  did  not  tell  them 
that  he  had  done  this  more  than  once.  Ida 


was  amused ;  but  Buttons  felt  gratified  at  see 
ing  a  little  confusion  on  her  face,  as  though  she 
was  conscious  of  the  real  cause  of  such  a  per 
severing  pursuit.  She  modestly  evaded  his 
glance,  and  sat  at  a  little  distance  from  the 
others.  Indeed,  she  said  but  little  during  the 
whole  evening. 

When  Buttons  left  he  felt  like  a  spiritual  be 
ing.  He  was  not  conscious  of  treading  on  any 
material  earth,  but  seemed  to  float  along  through 
enchanted  air  over  the  streets  into  his  lodgings, 
and  so  on  into  the  realm  of  dreams. 


CHAPTER   XXVIII. 

WHAT  KIND  OP  A  LETTER  THE  SENATOR  WROTE 
FOR  THE  "NEW  ENGLAND  PATRIOT,"  WHICH 
SHOWS  A  TRUE,  LIBERAL,  UNBIASED,  PLAIN,  UN 
VARNISHED  VIEW  OF  ROME. 

"  DICK,  "said  the  Senator,  as  he  sat  with  him 
in  his  room,  "I've  been  thinking  over  your  tone 
of  mind,  more  particularly  as  it  appears  in  those 
letters  which  you  write  home,  such  as  you  read 
the  other  day.  It  is  a  surprising  thing  to  me 
how  a  young  man  with  your  usual  good  sense, 
keenness  of  perception,  and  fine  education  can 
allow  yourself  to  be  so  completely  carried  away 
by  a  mawkish  sentiment.  What  is  the  use  of 
all  these  memories  and  fancies  and  hysterical 
emotions  that  you  talk  about.?  In  one  place 
you  call  yourself  by  the  absurd  name  of  '  A 
Pensive  Traveller.'  Why  not  be  honest?  Be 
a  sensible  American,  exhibiting  in  your  thought 
and  in  all  your  actions  the  effect  of  democratic 
principles  and  stiff  republican  institutions.  Now 
I'll  read  you  what  I  have  written.  I  think  the 
matter  is  a  little  nearer  the  mark  than  your 
flights  of  fancy.  But  perhaps  you  don't  care 
just  now  about  hearing  it  ?" 

"  Indeed  I  do ;  so  read  on,"  said  Dick. 

"  As  I  have  travelled  considerable  in  Italy,"  said  the 
Senator,  reading  from  a  paper  which  he  drew  from  his 
pocket,  "  with  ray  eyes  wide  open,  I  have  some  idea  of  the 
country  and  of  the  general  condition  of  the  farming 
class." 

The  Senator  stopped.  "I  forgot  to  say  that 
this  is  for  the  New  England  Patriot,  published 
in  our  village,  you  know." 

Dick  nodded.     The  Senator  resumed  : 

"The  soil  is  remarkably  rich.  Even  where  there  are 
mountains  they  are  well  wooded.  So  if  the  fields  look 
well  it  is  not  surprising.  What  is  surprising  is  the  culti 
vation.  I  saw  ploughs  such  as  Adam  might  have  used  when 
forced  for  the  first  time  to  turn  up  the  ground  outside  the 
locality  of  Eden  ;  harrows  which  were  probably  invented 
by  Numa  Fompey,  an  eld  Roman  that  people  talk  About. 

"  They  haven't  any  idea  of  draining  clear.  For  here  is 
a  place  cjilled  the  Pontine  Marsh,  beautiful  soil,  surround 
ed  by  a  settled  country,  and  yet  they  let  it  go  to  waste  al 
most  entirely. 

"  The  Italians  are  lazy.  The  secret  of  their  bad  farm 
ing  lie*  in  this.  For  the  men  loll  and  smoke  on  the  fences, 
leaving  the  poor  women  to  toil  in  the  fields.  A  woman 
ploughing !  And  yet  these  people  want  to  be  free. 

"They  wear  leather  leggins,  short  breeches,  and  jack 
ets.  Many  of  them  wear  wooden  shoes.  The  women  of  the 
south  use  a  queer  kind  of  outlandish  head-dress,  which  if 
they  spent  less  time  in  fixing  it  would  be  better  for  their 
own  worldly  prosperity. 

''The  cattle  are  fine:  very  broad  in  the  chest,  with 
splendid  action.  I  don't  believe  any  other  country  can 
show  such  cattle.  The  pigs  are  certainly  the  best  I  ever  saw 


THE  DODGE  CL,UB ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


SKETCHES  BV   A  1'K.K-SU. 


by  a  long  chalk.  Their  chops  beat  all  creation.  A  friend 
of  mine  has  made  some  sketches,  which  I  will  give  to  the 
Lyceum  on  my  return.  They  exhibit  the  Sorrento  pig  in 
various  attitudes. 

"  The  horses,  on  the  contrary,  are  poor  affairs.  I  have 
yet  to  see  the  first  decent  horse.  The  animals  employed 
by  travellers  generally  are  the  lowest  of  their  species.  The 
shoes  which  the  horses  wear  are  of  a  singular  shape.  I 
can't  describe  them  in  writing,  but  they  look  more  like  a 
flat-iron  than  any  thing  else. 

"•  I  paid  a  visit  to  Pompeii,  and  on  coming  back  I  saw 
some  of  the  carts  of  the  country.  They  gave  one  a  deplor 
able  idea  of  the  state  of  the  useful  arts  in  this  place. 
Scientific  farming  is  out  of  the  question.  If  fine  planta 
tions  are  seen  it's  Nature  does  it. 

"  Vineyards  abound  everywhere.  Wine  is  a  great  sta 
ple  of  the  country.  Yet  they  don't  export  much  after  all. 
In  fact,  the  foreign  commerce  is  comparatively  trifling. 
Chestnuts  and  olives  are  raised  in  immense  quantities. 
The  chestnut  is  as  essential  to  the  Italian  as  the  .potato  is 
to  the  Irishman.  A  failure  in  the  crop  is  attended  with 
the  same  disastrous  consequences.  They  dry  the  nuts, 
grind  them  into  a  kind  of  flour,  and  make  them  intocakes. 
I  tasted  one  and  found  it  abominable.  Yet  these  people 
eat  1t  with  garlic,  and  grow  fat  on  it.  Chestnut  bread, 
oil  instead  of  butter,  wine  instead  of  tea,  and  you  have  an 
Italian  meal.  • 

"  It's  a  fine  country  for  fruit.  I  found  Gaeta  surround 
ed  by  orange  groves.  The  fig  is  an  important  article  in  the 
economy  of  an  Italian  household. 

"I  have  been  in  Rome  three  weeks  Many  people  take 
much  interest  in  this  place,  though  quite  unnecessarily.  I 
do  not  think  it  is  at  all  equal  to  Boston.  Yet  I  have  taken 
great  pains  to  examine  the  place.  The  streets  are  narrow 
and  crooked,  like  those  of  Boston.  They  are  extremely 
dirty.  There  are  no  sidewalks.  The  gutter  is  in  the 
middle  of  the  street.  The  people  empty  their  slops  from 
their  windows.  The  pavements  are  bad  and  very  slippery. 
The  accumulation  of  filth  about  the  streets  is  immense. 
The  drainage  is  not  good.  They  actually  use  one  old  drain 
which,  they  tell  me,  was  made  three  thousand  years 
ago. 

"  Gas  has  only  been  recently  introduced.  I  understand 
that  a  year  or  two  ago  the  streets  were  lighted  by  miser 
able  contrivances,  consisting  of  a  mean  oil  lamp  swung  from 
the  middle  of  a  rope  stretched  across  the  street. 

"The  shops  are  not  worth  mentioning.  There  are  no 
magnificent  Dry-goods  S/on-s,  such  as  I  have  seen  by  the 
hundred  in  Boston;  no  Hardware  Stores;  no  palatial 


Patent  Medicine  Edifices ;  no  signs  of  enterprise,  in  fact, 
at  all. 

"  The  houses  are  very  uncomfortable.  They  are  large, 
and  built  in  the  form  of  a  square.  People  live  on  separate 
flats.  If  it  is  cold  they  have  to  grin  and  bear  it.  There 
are  no  stoves.  I  have  suffered  more  from  the  cold  on  some 
evenings  since  I  have  been  here  than  ever  I  did  in-doors  at 
home.  I  have  asked  for  a  fire,  but  all  they  could  give  me 
was  a  poisonous  fire  of  charcoal  in  an  earthen  thing  like  a 
basket. 

"  Some  of  their  public  buildings  are  good,  but  that  can't 
make  the  population  comfortable.  In  fact,  the  people  gen 
erally  are  ill-cared  for.  Here  are  the  wretched  Je\v?,  who 
live  in  a  filthy  quarter  of  the  city  crowded  together  like 
pigs. 

''  The  people  pass  the  most  of  their  time  in  coffee-houses. 
They  are  an  idle  set — have  nothing  in  the  world  to  do.  It 
is  still  a  mystery  to  me  how  they  live. 

"  The  fact  is,  there  are  too  many  soldiers  and  priests. 
Now  it  is  evident  that  these  gentry,  being  non-producers, 
must  be  supported  directly  or  indirectly  by  the  producers. 
This  is  the  cause,  I  suppose,  of  the  poverty  of  a  great  part 
of  the  population. 

"  Begging  is  reduced  to  a  science.  In  this  I  confess  the 
Italian  beats  the  American  all  to  pieces.  The  American 
eye  has  not  seen,  nor  ear  heard,  the  devices  of  an  Italian 
beggar  to  get  along. 

"  I  have  seen  them  in  great  crowds  waiting  outside  of  a 
'  monastery  for  their  dinner,  which  consists  of  huge  bowls 
j  of  porridge  given  by  the  monks.  Can  any  thing  be  more 
i  ruinous  to  a  people? 

"  The  only  trade  that  I  could  discover  after  a  long  and 
'  patient  search  was  the  trade  in  brooches  and  toys  which 
,  are  bought  as  curiosities  by  travellers. 

"  There  are  nothing  but  churches  and  palaces  wherever 

;  you  go.     Some  of  these  palaces  are  queer-looking  concerns. 

i  There  isn't  one  in  the  whole  lot  equal  to  some  of  the  Fifth 

|  Avenue  houses  in  New  York  in  point  of  real  genuine  style. 

"•  There  has  been  too  much  money  spent  in  churches,  and 

too  little  on  houses.     If  it  amounted  to  any  thing  it  would 

not  be  so  bad,  but  the  only  effect  has  been  to  promote  an 

idle  fondness  for  music  and  pictures  and  such  like.     If  they 

tore  down  nine-tenths  of  their  churches,  and  turned  them 

into  school-houses  on  the  New  Kngland  system,  it  would 

not  be  bad  for  the  rising-  generation. 

"  The  newspapers  which  they  have  are  miserable  things 

— wretched  little  sheets,  fulfof  lies — no  advertisements,  no 

!  news,  no  nothing.     I  got  a  friend  to  translate  for  me  what 

pretended  to  be  the  latest  American  news.     It  was  a  col- 


THE  DODGE  CLUB ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


lection  of  murders,  duels,  railway  accidents,  and  steamboat 
explosions. 

"I  don't  see  what  hope  there  is  for  this  unfortunate 
country  ;  I  don't  really.  The  people  have  gone  on  so  long 
in  their  present  course  that  they  are  now  about  incorrigi 
ble.  If  the  entire  population  were  to  emigrate  to  the 
Western  States,  and  mix  up  with  the  people  there,  it  might 
be  possible  for  their  descendants  in  the  course  of  time  to 
amount  to  something. 

"  I  don't  see  any  hope  except  perhaps  in  one  plan,  which 
•would  be  no  doubt  impossible  for  these  lazy  and  dreamy 
Italians  to  carry  out.  It  is  this :  Let  this  poor,  broken- 
down,  bankrupt  Government  make  an  inventory  of  its 
whole  stock  of  jewels,  gold,  gems,  pictures,  and  statues.  I 
understand  that  the  nobility  throughout  Europe  would  be 
willing  to  pay  immense  sums  of  money  for  these  ornaments. 
If  they  are  fools  enough  to  do  so,  then  in  Heaven's  name 
let  them  have  the  chance.  Clear  out  the  whole  stock  of 
rubbish,  and  let  the  hard  cash  come  in  to  replace  it. 
That  would  be  a  good  beginning,  with  something  tangible 
to  start  from.  I  am  told  that  the  ornaments  of  St.  Peter's 
Cathedral  cost  ever  so  many  millions  of  dollars.  In  the 
name  of  goodness  why  not  sell  out  the  stock  and  realize  in 
stead  of  issuing  those  ragged  notes  for  twenty-five  cents, 
which  circulate  among  the  people  here  at  a  discount  of  about 
seventy-five  per  cent.  ? 

"Then  let  them  run  a  railroad  north  to  Florence  and 
Bouth  to  Naples.  It  would  open  up  a  fine  tract  of  country 
which  is  capable  of  growing  grain ;  it  would  tap  the  great 
olive-growing  districts,  and  originate  a  vast  trade  in  oil, 
wine,  and  dried  fruits. 

"The  country  around  Rome  is  uninhabited,  but  not 
barren.  It  is  sickly  in  summer-time,  but  if  there  was 
a  population  on  it  who  would  cultivate  it  properly  I  calcu 
late  the  malaria  would  vanish,  just  as  the  fever  and  ague 
do  from  many  Western  districts  in  our  country  by  the 
same  agencies.  I  calculate  that  region  could  be  made  one 
of  the  most  fertile  on  this  round  earth  if  occupied  by  an 
industrious  class  of  emigrants. 

u  But  there  is  a  large  space  inside  the  walls  of  the  city 
which  could  be  turned  to  the  best  of  purposes. 

"The  place  which  used  to  be  the  Roman  Forum  is  ex 
actly  calculated  to  be  the  terminus  of  the  railroad  which 
I  have  suggested.  A  commodious  depot  could  be  made, 
and  the  door-way  might  be  worked  up  out  of  the  arch  of 
Titus  which  now  stands  blocking  up  the  way,  and  is  of  no 
earthly  use. 

"  The  amount  of  crumbling  stones  and  old  ruined  walls 
that  they  leave  about  this  quarter  of  the  city  is  astonish 
ing.  It  ought  not  to  be  so. 

"  What  the  Government  ought  to  do  after  being  put  in 
funds  by  the  process  mentioned  above  is  this: 

u  The  Government  ought  to  tear  down  all  those  unsight 
ly  heaps  of  stone  and  erect  factories  and  industrial  schools. 
There  is  plenty  of  material  to  do  it  with.  For  instance, 
take  the  old  ruin  called  the  Coliseum.  It  is  a  fact,  arrived 
at  by  elaborate  calculation,  that  the  entire  contents  of 
thut  concern  are  amply  sufficient  to  construct  no  less 
than  one  hundred  and  fifty  handsome  factories,  each  two 
hundred  feet  by  seventy-five. 

"  The  factories  being  built,  they  could  be  devoted  to 
the  production  of  the  finer  tissues.  Silks  and  velvets 
could  be  produced  here.  Glass-ware  of  all  kinds  could  be 
made.  There  is  a  fine  Italian  clay  that  makes  nice  cups 
and  crocks. 

"  I  could  also  suggest  the  famous  Roman  cement  as  an 
additional  article  of  export.  The  Catacombs  under  the  city 
could  be  put  to  some  direct  practical  use. 

"  I  have  hastily  put  out  these  few  ideas  to  show  what  a 
liberal  and  enlightened  policy  might  effect  even  in  such 
an  unpromising  place 'as  Rome.  It  is  not  probable,  how 
ever,  that  my  scheme  would  meet  with  favor  here.  The 
leading  classes  in  this  city  are  such  an  incurable  set  of  old 
fogies  that,  I  verily  believe,  rather  than  do  what  I  have 
suggested,  they  would  choose  to  have  the  earth  open  beneath 
them  and  swallow  them  up  forever— city,  churches,  statues, 
pictures,  museums,  palaces,  ruins  and  all. 

"  I've  got  a  few  other  idea*,  some  of  which  will  work  some 
day.  Suppose  Russia  should  sell  us  her  part  of  America, 
Spain  sell  us  Cuba,  Italy  give  us  Rome,  Turkey  an  island 
or  two— then  what  ?  But  I'll  keep  this  for  another  letter." 

"That's  all,"  said  the  Senator. 

Dick's  face  was  drawn  up  into  the  strangest 
expression.  He  did  not  say  any  thing,  how 
ever.  The  Senator  calmly  folded  up  his  paper, 
and  with  a  thoughtful  air  took  up  his  hat. 

"  I'm  going  to  that  Coliseum  again  to  meas 
ure  a  place  I  forgot,"  said  he. 

Upon  which  he  retired,  leaving  Dick  alone. 


CHAPTER  XXIX. 

THE    LONELY    ONE    AND   HIS    COMFORTER. — THE 
TKUE  MEDICINE  FOR  A  SICK  MAN. 

DICK  was  alone  in  his  chamber.  Confine 
ment  to  his  room  was  bad  enough,  but  what 
was  that  in  comparison  with  the  desolation  of 
soul  that  afflicted  him  ?  Pepita  was  always  in 
his  thoughts.  The  bright  moment  was  alone 
remembered,  and  the  black  sequel  could  not  ef 
face  her  image.  Yet  his  misadventure  showed 
him  that  his  chances  of  seeing  her  again  were 
extremely  faint.  But  how  could  he  give  her 
up  ?  They  would  soon  be  leaving  for  Florence. 
How  could  he  leave  never  to  see  her  again — the 
lovely,  the  sweet,  the  tender,  the —  A  faint 
knock  at  the  door. 

"  Come  in,"  said  Dick,  without  rising  from 
his  chair. 

A  female  entered.  She  was  dressed  in  black. 
A  thick  veil  hid  her  features,  but  her  bent  figure 
denoted  age  and  weariness.  She  slowly  closed 
the  door. 

"Is  it  here  where  a  young  American  lives 
with  this  name  ?" 

She  held  out  a  card.  It  was  his  name,  his 
card.  He  had  only  given  it  to  one  person  in 
Rome,  and  that  one  was  Pepita. 

"  Oh  !"  cried  Dick,  rising,  his  whole  expres 
sion  changing  from  sadness  to  eager  and  be 
seeching  hope,  "  oh,  if  you  know  where  she  is 
— where  I  may  find  her — " 

The  female  raised  her  form,  then  with  a  hand 
that  trembled  excessively  she  slowly  lifted  her 
veil.  It  was  a  face  not  old  and  wrinkled  but 
young  and  lovely,  with  tearful  eyes  downcast, 
and  cheeks  suffused  with  blushes. 

With  an  eager  cry  Dick  bounded  from  his 
chair  and  caught  her  in  his  arms.  Not  a  word 
was  spoken.  He  held  her  in  a  strong  embrace 
as  though  he  would  not  let  her  go.  At  last  he 
drew  her  to  a  seat  beside  him,  still  holding  her 
in  his  arms. 

"  I  could  not  stay  away.  I  led  you  into  mis 
fortune.  Oh,  how  you  have  suffered !  You 
are  thin  and  wan.  What  a  wretch  am  I ! 
When  you  see  me  no  more  will  you  forgive 
me?" 

"  Forgive  <"  and  Dick  replied  in  a  more  em 
phatic  way  than  words  afford. 

"  They  would  not  let  me  leave  the  house  for 
ten  days.  They  told  me  if  I  ever  dared  to  see 
you  again  they  would  kill  you.  So  I  knew  you 
were  not  dead.  But  I  did  not  know  how  they 
had  beaten  you  till  one  day  Ricardo  told  me  all. 
To  think  of  you  unarmed  fighting  so  gallantly. 
Four  of  them  were  so  bruised  that  they  have 
not  yet  recovered.  To-day  Luigi  went  to  Civita 
Vecchia.  He  told  me  that  if  I  dared  to  go  to 
Rome  he  would  send  me  to  a  convent.  But  I 
disobeyed  him.  I  could  not  rest.  I  had  to 
come  and  see  how  you  were,  and  to — bid — 
adieu — " 

"Adieu!  bid  adieu? — never.  I  will  not  let 
you." 

"Ah,  now  you  talk  wildly,"  said  Pepita, 
mournfully,  "  for  you  know  we  must  part." 


76 


THE  DODGE  CLUB ;  OK,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


"  We  shall  not  part." 

"I  will  have  to  go  home,  and  you  can  not 
follow  me." 

"  Oh,  Pepita,  I  can  not  give  you  up.  You 
shall  be  mine — now — my  wife — and  come  with 
me  home — to  America.  And  we  shall  never 
again  have  to  part." 

"Impossible,"  said  Pepita,  as  big  tear-drops 
fell  from  her  eyes.  "  Impossible  !" 

"  Why  impossible  ?" 

"Luigi  would  track  us  to  the  end  of  the 
world." 

"  Track  us !  I  would  like  to  see  him  try  it !" 
cried  Dick  in  a  fury.  ' '  I  have  an  account  to 
settle  with  him  which  will  not  be  pleasant  for 
him  to  pay.  Who  is  he  to  dare  to  stand  be 
tween  me  and  you  ?  As  to  following  me — 
Well,  I  have  already  given  him  a  specimen  of 
what  I  am.  I  would  give  a  year  of  my  life  to 
have  him  alone  for  about  half  an  hour." 

"  You  wrong  him,"  cried  Pepita,  earnestly. 
"  You  wrong  him.  You  must  not  talk  so.  He 
is  not  a  bravo. .  He  is  my  brother.  He  has 
been  like  a  father  to  me.  He  loves  me  dearly, 
and  my  good  name  is  dearer  to  him  than  life. 
He  is  so  good  and  so  noble,  dear  Luigi !  It 
was  his  love  for  me  that  blinded  him  and  made 
him  furious.  He  thought  you  were  deceiving 
us  all,  and  would  not  listen  to  you." 

"  But  if  he  were  so  noble  would  he  have  at 
tacked  one  unarmed  man,  and  he  at  the  head 
of  a  dozen?" 

"  I  tell  you,"  cried  Pepita,  "you  do  not  know 
him.  He  was  .so  blinded  by  passion  that  he 
had  no  mercy.  Oh,  I  owe  every  thing  to  him  ! 
And  I  know  how  good  and  noble  he  is  !" 

"Pepita.  for  your  sake  I  will  forgive  him 
every  thing." 

"  I  can  not  stay  longer,"  said  Pepita,  making 
an  effort  to  rise. 

"  Oh,  Pepita !  you  can  not  leave  me  for 
ever." 

Pepita  fell  weeping  into  his  arms,  her  slen 
der  form  convulsed  with  emotion. 

"You  shall  not." 

"I  must — there  is  no  help." 

"  Why  must  you  ?  Can  you  not  fly  with  me  ? 
What  prevents  you  from  being  mine?  Let  us 
go  and  be  united  in  the  little  church  where  I 
saw  you  first." 

"  Impossible  !"  moaned  Pepita. 

"Why?" 

"Because  I  could  not  do  you  such  injustice. 
You  have  your  father  far  away  in  America. 
You  might  offend  him." 

"Bother  my  father !"  cried  Dick. 

Pepita  looked  shocked. 

"  I  mean — he  would  allow  me  to  do  any  thing 
I  liked,  and  glory  in  it,  because  I  did  it.  He 
would  chuckle  over  it  for  a  month." 

"  Luigi — " 

"  Pepita,  do  yon  love  him  better  than  me  ?" 

"  No,  but  if  I  leave  him  so  it  would  break 
his  heart.  He  will  think  I  am  ruined.  He 
will  declare  a  vendetta  against  you,  and  follow 
you  to  the  end  of  the  world." 


"Is  there  no  hope?" 

"  No — not  now." 

"  Not  now  ?  And  when  will  there  be  ?  Can 
it  be  possible  that  you  would  give  me  up  ? 
Then  I  would  not  give  you  up  !  If  you  do  not 
love  me  I  must  love  you." 

"Cruel!"  murmured  Pepita. 

"Forgive,"  said  Dick,  penitently.  "Per 
haps  I  am  too  sudden.  If  I  come  back  again 
in  two  or  three  months  will  you  be  as  hard 
hearted  as  you  are  now  ?" 

"Hard-hearted!"  sighed  Pepita,  tearfully. 
"  You  should  not  reproach  me.  My  troubles 
are  more  than  I  can  bear.  It  is  no  slight  thing 
that  you  ask." 

"Will  waiting  soften  you?  Will  it  make 
any  difference?  If  I  came  for  you — " 

"You  must  not  leave  me  so,"  said  Pepita, 
reproachfully.  "  I  will  tell  you  all.  You  will  un 
derstand  me  better.  Listen.  My  family  is  noble. " 

"Noble!"  cried  Dick,  thunderstruck.  He 
had  certainly  always  thought  her  astonishingly 
lady-like  for  a  peasant  girl,  but  attributed  this 
to  the  superior  refinement  of  the  Italian  race. 

"Yes,  noble,"  said  Pepita,  proudly.  "We 
seem  now  only  poor  peasants.  Yet  once  we 
were  rich  and  powerful.  My  grandfather  lost 
all  in  the  wars  in  the  time  of  Napoleon,  and 
only  left  his  descendants  an  honorable  name. 
Alas  !  honor  and  titles  are  worth  but  little  when 
one  is  poor.  My  brother  Luigi  is  the  Count  di 
Gianti." 

"  And  you  are  the  Countess  di  Gianti." 

"Yes,"  said  Pepita,  smiling  at  last,  and  hap 
py  at  the  change  that  showed  itself  in  Dick. 
"  I  am  the  Countess  Pepita  di  Gianti.  Can 
you  understand  now  my  dearLuigi's  high  sense 
of  honor  and  the  fury  that  he  felt  when  he 
thought  that  you  intended  an  insult  ?  Our 
poverty,  which  we  can  not  escape,  chafes  him 
sorely.  If  I  were  to  desert  him  thus  suddenly 
it  would  kill  him." 

"  Oh,  Pepita!  if  waiting  will  win  you  I  will 
wait  for  years.  Is  there  any  hope  ?" 

"  When  will  you  leave  Rome  ?" 

"  In  a  few  days  my  friends  leave." 

"Then  do  not  stay  behind.  If  you  do  you 
can  not  see  me." 

"But  if  I  come  again  in  two  or  three  months  ? 
What  then  ?  Can  I  see  you  ?." 

"  Perhaps,"  said  Pepita,  timidly. 

"And  you  will  not  refuse  ?  No,  no  !  You 
can  not !  How  can  I  find  you  ?" 

"  Alas !  you  will  by  that  time  forget  all 
about  me." 

"Cruel  Pepita!  How  can  you  say  I  will 
forget  ?  Would  I  not  die  for  you  ?  How  can 
I  find  you  ?" 

"  The  Padre  Liguori." 

"Who?" 

"Padre  Liguori,  at  the  little  church.  The 
tall  priest — the  one  who  spoke  to  you." 

"  But  he  will  refuse.     He  hates  me." 

"He  is  a  good  man.  If  he  thinks  you  are 
honorable  he  will  be  your  friend.  He  is  a  true 
friend  to  me." 


THE  DODGE  CLUB ;  OK,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


77 


"I  will  see  him  before  I  leave  and  tell  him 
all.1' 

There  were  voices  below. 

Pepita  started. 

"  They  come.  I  must  go,"  said  she,  drop 
ping  her  veil. 

"  Confound  them  !"  cried  Dick. 

"Addio!"  sighed  Pepita. 

Dick  caught  her  in  his  arms.  She  tore  her 
self  away  with  sobs. 

She  was  gone. 

Dick  sank  back  in  his  chair,  with  his  eyes 
fixed  hungrily  on  the  door. 

"Hallo!"  burst  the  Doctor's  voice  on  his 
ears.  "Who's  that  old  girl?  Hey?  Why, 
Dick,  how  pale  you  are !  You're  worse.  Hang 
it !  you'll  have  a  relapse  if  you  don't  look  out. 
You  must  make  a  total  change  in  your  diet — 
more  stimulating  drink  and  generous  food. 
However,  the  drive  to  Florence  will  set  you  all 
right  again." 


CHAPTER  XXX. 

OCCUPATIONS  AND  PEREGRINATIONS  OF  BUTTONS. 

IF  Buttons  had  spent  little  time  in  his  room 
before  he  now  spent  less.  He  was  exploring 
the  ruins  of  Rome,  the  churches,  the  picture 
galleries,  and  the  palaces  under  new  auspices. 
He  knew  the  name  of  every  palace  and  church 
in  the  place.  He  acquired  this  knowledge  by 
means  of  superhuman  application  to  "Murray's 
Hand-book  "on  the  evenings  after  leaving  his 
companions.  They  were  enthusiastic,  particu 


larly  the  ladies.  They  were  perfectly  familiar 
with  all  the  Spanish  painters  and  many  of  the 
Italian.  Buttons  felt  himself  far  inferior  to 
them  in  real  familiarity  with  Art,  but  he  made 
amends  by  brilliant  criticisms  of  a  transcendent 
al  nature. 

It  was  certainly  a  pleasant  occupation  for 
youth,  sprightliness,  and  beauty.  To  wander 
all  day  long  through  that  central  world  from 
which  forever  emanate  all  that  is  fairest  and 
most  enticing  in  Art,  Antiquity,  and  Religion  ; 
to  have  a  soul  open  to  the  reception  of  all  these 
influences,  and  to  have  all  things  glorified  by 
Almighty  love  ;  in  short,  to  be  in  love  in  Rome. 

Rome  is  an  inexhaustible  store-house  of  at 
tractions.  For  the  lovers  of  gayety  there  are 
the  drives  of  the  Pincian  Hill,  or  the  Villa  Bor- 
ghese.  For  the  student,  ruins  whose  very  dust 
is  eloquent.  For  the  artist,  treasures  beyond 
price.  For  the  devotee,  religion.  How  fortu 
nate,  thought  Buttons,  that  in  addition  to  all 
this  there  is,  for  the  lovers  of  the  beautiful, 
beauty ! 

Day  after  day  they  visited  new  scenes.  Upon 
the  whole,  perhaps,  the  best  way  to  see  the  city, 
when  one  can  not  spend  one's  life  there,  is  to 
take  Murray's  Hand-book,  and,  armed  with 
that  red  necessity,  dash  energetically  at  the 
work ;  see  every  thing  that  is  mentioned ; 
hurry  it  up  in  the  orthodox  manner ;  then  throw 
the  book  away,  and  go  over  the  ground  anew, 
wandering  easily  wherever  fancy  leads. 


BLTTOSS   AND    JIUliSAY. 


CHAPTER  XXXI. 

BUTTONS  ACTS  THE  GOOD  SAMARITAN,  AND  LIT 
ERALLY  UNEARTHS  A  MOST  UNEXPECTED  VIC 
TIM  OF  AN  ATROCIOUS  ROBBERY.— GR-R-B-A- 
CIOUS  ME  ! 

To  these,  once  wandering  idly  down  the  Ap- 
pian  Way,  the  ancient  tower  of  Metella  rose  in 
vitingly.  The  carriage  stopped,  and  ascend 
ing,  th*y  walked  up  to  the  entrance.  They 
marvelled  at  the  enormous  blocks  of  travertine 
of  which  the  edifice  was  built,  the  noble  sim 
plicity  of  the  style,  the  venerable  garment  of 
ivy  which  hid  the  ravages  of  time. 

The  door  was  open,  and  they  walked  in. 
Buttons  first ;  the  ladies  timidly  following ; 
and  the  Don  bringing  up  the  rear.  Suddenly 
a  low  groan  startled  them.  It  seemed  to  come 
from  the  very  depths  of  the  earth.  The  ladies 
gave  a  shriek,  and  dashing  past  their  brother, 
ran  out.  The  Don  paused.  Buttons  of  course 
advanced.  He  never  felt  so  extensive  in  his 
life  before.  What  a  splendid  opportunity  to 
give  an  exhibition  of  manly  courage !  So  he 
walked  on,  and  shouted : 

"Who's  there?" 

A  groan ! 

Further  in  yet,  till  he  came  to  the  inner 
chamber.  It  was  darEf  there,  the  only  light 
coming  in  through  the  passages.  Through  the 
gloom  he  saw  the  figure  of  a  man  lying  on  the 
floor  so  tied  that  he  could  not  move. 


78 


THE  DODGE  CLUB  ;  OK,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


"  Who  are  you  ?     What's  the  matter  ?" 

"  Let  me  loose,  for  God's  sake !''  said  a  voice, 
in  thick  Italian,  with  a  heavy  German  accent. 
"  I'm  a  traveller.  I've  been  robbed  by  brig 
ands." 

To  snatch  his  knife  from  his  pocket,  to  cut 
the  cords  that  bound  the  man,  to  lift  him  to  his 
feet,  and  then  to  start  back  with  a  cry  of  aston 
ishment,  were  all  the  work  of  an  instant.  By 
this  time  the  others  had  entered. 

The  man  was  a  German,  unmistakably.  He 
stood  blinking  and  staring.  Then  he  stretched 
his  several  limbs,  and  rubbed  himself.  Then 
he  took  a  long  survey  of  the  new-comers. 
Then  he  stroked  a  long,  red,  forked  beard,  and, 
in  tones  expressive  of  the  most  profound  be 
wilderment,  slowly  ejaculated — 

"  Gr-r-r-r-acious  me!" 

"Meinheer  Schatt !"  cried  Buttons,  grasping 
his  hand.  "  How  in  the  name  of  wonder  did 
you  get  here  ?  What  has  happened  to  you  ? 
Who  tied  you  up  ?  Were  you  robbed  ?  Were 
you  beaten?  Are  you  hurt?  But  .come  out 
of  this  dark  hole  to  the  sunshins." 

Meinheer  Schatt  walked  slowly  out,  saying 
nothing  to  these  rapid  inquiries  of  Buttons. 
The  German  intellect  is  profound,  but  slow ; 
and  so  Meinheer  Schatt  took  a  long  time  to  col 
lect  his  scattered  ideas.  Buttons  found  that 
he  was  quite  faint ;  so  producing  a  flask  from 
his  pocket  he  made  him  drink  a  little  precious 
cordial,  which  revived  him  greatly.  After  a 
long  pull  he  heaved  a  heavy  sigh,  and  looked 
with  a  piteous  expression  at  the  new-comers. 
The  kind-hearted  Spaniards  insisted  on  taking 
him  to  their  carriage.  He  was  too  weak  to 
walk.  They  would  drive  him.  They  would 
listen  to  no  refusal.  So  Meinheer  Schatt  was 
safely  deposited  in  the  carriage,  and  told  his 
story. 

He  had  come  out  very  early  in  the  morning  to 
visit  the  Catacombs.  He  chose  the  early  part 
of  the  day  so  as  to  be  back  before  it  got  hot. 
Arriving  at  the  Church  of  St.  Sebastian  he 
found  to  his  disappointment  that  it  was  not  open 
yet.  So  he  thought  he  would  beguile  the  time 
by  walking  about.  So  he  strolled  off  to  the 
tomb  of  Ccecelia  Metella,  which  was  the  most 
striking  object  in  view.  He  walked  around  it, 
and  broke  off  a  few  pieces  of  stone.  He  took 
also  a  few  pieces  of  ivy.  These  he  intended  to 
carry  away  as  relics.  At  last  he  ventured  to 
enter  and  examine  the  interior.  Scarce  had 
he  got  inside  than  he  heard  footsteps  without. 
The  door  was  blocked  up  by  a  number  of  ill- 
looking  men,  who  came  in  and  caught  him. 

Meinheer  Schatt  confessed  that  he  was  com 
pletely  overcome  by  terror.  However,  he  at 
last  mustered  sufficient  strength  to  ask  what 
they  wanted. 

"  You  are  our  prisoner !" 

' '  Why  ?     Who  are  you  ?" 

"We  are  the  secret  'fcody-guard  of  His  Holi 
ness,  appointed  by  the  Sacred  Council  of  the 
Refectory,"  said  one  of  the  men,  in  a  mocking 
tone. 


Then  Meinheer  Schatt  knew  that  they  were 
robbers.  Still  he  indignantly  protested  that"  he 
was  an  unoffending  traveller. 

"It's  false !  You  have  been  mutilating  the 
sacred  sepulchre  of  the  dead,  and  violating  the 
sanctity  of  their  repose ! " 

And  the  fellow,  thrusting  his  hands  in  the 
prisoner's  pockets,  brought  forth  the  stones  and 
ivy.  The  others  looked  into  his  other  pockets, 
examined  his  hat,  made  him  strip,  shook  his 
clothes,  pried  into  his  boots — in  short,  gave  him 
a  thorough  overhaul. 

They  found  nothing,  except,  as  Meinheer  ac 
knowledged,  with  a  faint  smile,  a  piece  of  the 
value  of  three  half-cents  American,  which  he 
had  brought  as  a  fee  to  the  guide  through  the 
Catacombs.  It  was  that  bit  of  money  that 
caused  his  bonds.  It  maddened  them.  They 
danced  around  him  in  perfect  fury,  and  asked 
what  he  meant  by  daring  to  come  out  and  give 
them  so  much  trouble  with  only  that  bit  of  im 
pure  silver  about  him. 

"Dog  of  a  Tedescho  !  Your  nation  has 
trampled  upon  our  liberties  ;  but  Italy  shall  be 
avenged !  Dog !  scoundrel !  villain  !  Tedes 
cho  !  Tedes-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-cho !" 

The  end  of  it  was  that  Meinheer  Schatt  was 
tied  in  a  singularly  uncomfortable  position  and 
left  there.  He  thought  he  had  been  there  about 
five  hours.  He  was  faint  and  hungry. 

They  took  him  home. 


CHAPTER  XXXII. 

ANOTHER  DISCOVERT  MADE  BY  BUTTONS. 

ON  the  evening  after  this  adventure  the  Don 
turned  the  conversation  into  a  new  channel. 
They  all  grew  communicative.  Buttons  told 
them  that  Ins  father  was  an  extensive  merchant 
and  ship-owner  in  Boston.  His  business  ex 
tended  over  many  parts  of  the  world.  He 
thought  he  might  have  done  something  in  Cadiz. 

"Your  father  a  ship-owner  in  Boston!  I 
thought  you  belonged  to  New  York,"  said  the 
Don,  in  surprise. 

"Oh,"  said  Buttons,  "I  said  I  came  from 
there.  The  fact  is,  I  lived  there  four  years  at 
college,  and  will  live  there  when  I  return." 

"  And  your  father  lives  in  Boston,"  said  the 
Don,  with  an  interest  that  surprised  Buttons. 

"Yes." 

"Is  his  name  Hiram  Buttons?" 

"Yes,"  cried  Buttons,  eagerly.  "How  do 
you  know  ?" 

"  My  dear  Sir,"  cried  the  Don,  "  Hiram  But 
tons  and  I  are  not  only  old  business  correspond 
ents,  but  I  hope  I  can  add  personal  friends." 
'  The  Don  rose  and  grasped  Buttons  cordially 
by  the  hand.  The  young  man  was  overcome 
by  surprise,  delight,  and  triumph. 

"I  liked  you  from  the  first,"  said  the  Don. 

"You  bear  your  character  in  your  face.     I  was 

happy  to  receive  you  into  our  society.    But  now 

i  I  feel  a  still  higher  pleasure,  for  I  find  you  are 


THE  DODGE  CLUB ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


71) 


the  son  of  a  man  for  whom  I  assure  you  I  enter 
tain  an  infinite  respect." 

The  sisters  were  evidently  delighted  at  the 
scene.  As  to  Buttons,  he  was  overcome. 

Thus  far  he  often  felt  delicacy  about  his  po 
sition  among  them,  and  fears  of  intruding  occa 
sionally  interfered  with  his  enjoyment.  His 
footing  now  was  totally  different ;  and  the  most 
punctilious  Spaniard  could  find  no  fault  with 
his  continued  intimacy. 

"Hurrah  for  that  abominable  old  office,  and 
that  horrible  business  to  which  the  old  gentle 
man  tried  to  bring  me !  It  has  turned  out  the 
best  thing  for  me.  What  a  capital  idea  it  was 
for  the  governor  to  trade  with  Cadiz  !" 

Such  were  the  thoughts  of  Buttons  as  he  went 
home. 


CHAPTER  XXXIII. 


IN  his  explorations  of  the  nooks  and  corners 
of  Rome  the  Senator  was  compelled  for  some 
time  to  make  his  journeys  alone.  He  some 
times  felt  regret  that  he  had  not  some  inter 
preter  with  him  on  these  occasions ;  but  on  the 
whole  he  thought  he  was  well  paid  for  his 
trouble,  and  he  stored  up  in  his  memory  an  in 
credible  number  of  those  items  which  are  usual 
ly  known  as  "  useful  facts." 

On  one  of  these  occasions  he  entered  a  very 
common  cafe  near  one  of  the  gates,  and  as  he 
'elt  hungry  he  determined  to  get  his  dinner. 
He  had  long  felt  a  desire  to  taste  those  "frogs" 
of  which  he  had  heard  so  much,  and  which  to 
!iis  great  surprise  he  had  never  yet  seen.  On 
coming  to  France  he  of  course  felt  confident 
hat  he  would  find  frogs  as  common  as  potatoes 
on  every  dinner-table.  To  his  amazement  he 
had  not  yet  seen  one. 

He  determined  to  have  some  now.  But  how 
3ould  he  get  them  ?  How  ask  for  them  ? 

"Pooh!  easy  enough!"  said  the  Senator  to 
himself,  with  a  smile  of  superiority.  "  I  wish 
[  could  ask  for  every  thing  else  as  easily." 

So  he  took  his  seat  at  one  of  the  tables,  and 
;ave  a  thundering  rap  to  summon  the  waiter. 
All  the  cafe  had  been  startled  by  the  advent  of 
;he  large  foreigner.  And  evidently  a  rich  man, 
?or  he  was  an  Englishman,  as  they  thought.  So 
ip  came  the  waiter  with  a  very  low  bow,  and  a 
,-ery  dirty  jacket ;  and  all  the  rest  of  the  people 
n  the  cafe'  looked  at  the  Senator  out  of  the  cor- 
icr  of  their  eyes,  and  stopped  talking.  The 
Senator  gazed  with  a  calm,  serene  face  and 
steady  eye  upon  the  waiter. 

"  Signore  ?"  said  the  waiter,  interrogatively. 

'•'•Gunk!  gung !  /"  said  the-  Senator,  solemnly, 
without  moving  a  muscle. 

The  waiter  stared. 

"  Che  viwlella?"  he  repeated,  in  a  faint  voice. 

"  Gunk  !  guny  ! .'"  said  the  Senator,  as  sol- 
smnly  as  before. 

"  Non  capisco." 

"  Gunk  gung  !  gunkety  gunk  gung .'" 


The  waiter  shrugged  his  shoulders  till  they 
reached  the  upper  part  of  his  ears.  The  Sen 
ator  looked  for  a  moment  at  him,  and  saw  that 
he  did  not  understand  him.  He  looked  at  the 
floor  involved  in  deep  thought.  At  last  he 
raised  his  eyes  once  more  to  meet  those  of  the 
waiter,  which  still  were  fixed  upon  him,  and 
placing  the  palms  of  his  hands  on  his  hips, 
threw  back  his  head,  and  with  his  eyes  still  fix 
ed  steadfastly  upon  the  waiter  he  gave  utterance 
to  a  long  shrill  gurgle  such  as  he  thought  the 
frogs  might  give : 


BKEKEKEKEK  KOAX  KOAX  ! 

(Recurrence  must  be  made  to  Aristophanes, 
who  alone  of  articulate  speaking  men  has  writ 
ten  down  the  utterance  of  the  common  frog.) 

The  waiter  started  back.  All  the  men  in  the 
cafe  jumped  to  their  feet. 

"  Bpe/ce/ce/ce/c  /coaf  Kodf,"  continued  the  Sena 
tor,  quite  patiently.  The  waiter  looked  fright 
ened. 

"  Will  you  give  me  some  or  not?"  cried  the 
Senator,  indignantly. 

"  Signore,"  faltered  the  waiter.  Then  he  ran 
for  the  cafe'-keeper. 

The  cafe'-keeper  came.  The  Senator  repeat 
ed  the  words  mentioned  above,  though  somewhat 
angrily.  The  keeper  brought  forward  every 
customer  in  the  house  to  see  if  any  one  could 
understand  the  language. 

"  It's  German,"  said  one. 

"It's  English, "said  another* 


80 


THE  DODGE  CLUB  ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


"  Bah  !"  said  a  third.     "It's  Russian." 

"No,"  said  a  fourth,  "it's  Bohemian;  for 
Carolo  Quinto  said  that  Bohemian  was  the  lan 
guage  of  the  devil."  And  Number  Four,  who 
was  rather  an  intelligent-looking  man,  eyed  the 
Senator  compassionately. 

"  Gunk  ffung,  yunkety  gung  /"  cried  the  Sena 
tor,  frowning;  for  his  patience  had  at  last  de 
serted  him. 

The  others  looked  at  him  helplessly,  and 
some,  thinking  of  the  devil,  piously  crossed  them 
selves.  Whereupon  the  Senator  rose  in  majes 
tic  wrath,  and  shaking  his  purse  in  the  face  of 
the  cafe-keeper,  shouted : 

"You're  worse  than  a  nigger!"  and  stalked 
grandly  out  of  the  place. 


CHAPTER  XXXIV. 

THE  SENATOR  PURSUES  HIS  INVESTIGATIONS. — AN 
INTELLIGENT  ROMAN  TOUCHES  A  CHORD  IN  THE 
SENATOR'S  HEART  THAT  VIBRATES. — RESULTS 
OF  THE  VIBRATION. — A  VISIT  FROM  THE  ROMAN 
POLICE  ;  AND  THE  GREAT  RACE  DOWN  THE  COR- 
SO  BETWEEN  THE  SENATOR  AND  A  ROMAN  SPY. — 
GLEE  OF  THE  POPULACE  ! — HI  !  HI ! 

HE  did  not  ask  for  frogs  again ;  but  still  he 
did  not  falter  in  his  examination  into  the  life  of 
the  people.  Still  he  sauntered  through  the  re 
moter  corners  of  Rome,  wandering  over  to  the 
other  side  of  the  Tiber,  or  through  the  Ghetto, 
or  among  the  crooked  streets  at  the  end  of  the 
Corso.  Few  have  learned  so  much  of  Rome  in 
so  short  a  time. 

On  one  occasion  he  was  sitting  in  a  cafe, 
where  he  had  supplied  his  wants  in  the  follow 
ing  way : 

"Hi!  coffee!  coffee!"  and  again,  "Hi!  ci 
gar!  cigar!"  when  his  eye  was  attracted  by  a 
man  at  the  next  table  who  was  reading  a  copy 
of  the  London  Times,  which  he  had  spread  out 
very  ostentatiously.  After  a  brief  survey  the 
Senator  walked  over  to  his  table  and,  with  a 
beaming  smile,  said — 

"  Good-day,  Sir." 

The  other  man  looked  up  and  returned  a  very 
friendly  smile. 

"And  how  do  you  do,  Sir?" 

"Very  well,  I  thank  you,"  said  the  other, 
with  a  strong  Italian  accent. 

"Do  you  keep  your  health?" 

"Thank  you,  yes,"  said  the  other,  evidently 
quite  pleased  at  the  advances  of  the  Senator. 

"  Nothing  gives  me  so  much  pleasure,"  said 
the  Senator,  "  as  to  come  across  an  Italian  who 
understands  English.  You,  Sir,  are  a  Roman, 
I  presume.1' 

"  Sir,  I  am." 

The  man  to  whom  the  Senator  spoke  was  not 
one  who  would  have  attracted  any  notice  from 
him  if  it  had  not  been  for  his  knowledge  of  En 
glish.  He  was  a  narrow-headed,  mean-locking 
man,  with  very  seedy  clothes,  and  a  servile  but 
cunning  expression. 

"  How  do  you  like  Rome  ?"  he  asked  of  the 
Senator. 


The  Senator  at  once  poured  forth  all  that  had 
been  in  his  mind  since  his  arrival.  He  gave  his 
opinion  about  the  site,  the  architecture,  the 
drains,  the  municipal  government,  the  beggars, 
and  the  commerce  of  the  place ;  then  the  sol 
diers,  the  nobles,  the  priests,  monks,  and  nuns. 

Then  he  criticised  the  Government,  its  form, 
its  mode  of  administration,  enlarged  upon  its  tyr 
anny,  condemned  vehemently  its  police  system, 
and  indeed  its  whole  administration  of  every 
thing,  civil,  political,  and  ecclesiastical.  * 

Waxing  warmer  with  the  sound  of  his  own  el 
oquence,  he  found  himself  suddenly  but  natural 
ly  reminded  of  a  country  where  all  this  is  re 
versed.  So  he-went  on  to  speak  about  Freedom, 
Republicanism,  the  Rights  of  Man,  and  the  Bal- 
lot-Box.  Unable  to  talk  with  sufficient  fluen 
cy  while  in  a  sitting  posture  he  rose  to  his  feet, 
and  as  he  looked  around,  seeing  that  all  present 
were  staring  at  him,  he  made  up  his  mind  to  im 
prove  the  occasion.  So  he  harangued  the  crowd 
generally,  not  because  he  thought  any  of  them 
could  understand  him,  but  it  was  so  long  since 
he  had  made  a  speech  that  the  present  opportuni 
ty  was  irresistible.  Besides,  as  he  aftenvard 
remarked,  he  felt  that  it  was  a  crisis,  and  who 
could  tell  but  that  a  word  spoken  in  season 
might  produce  some  beneficial  effects. 

He  shook  hands  very  warmly  with  his  new 
friend  after  it  all  was  over,  and  on  leaving  him 
made  him  promise  to  come  and  see  him  at  his 
lodgings,  where  he  would  show  him  statistics,  etc. 
The  Senator  then  returned. 

That  evening  he  received  a  visit.  The  Sen 
ator  heard  a  rap  at  his  door  and  called  out 
"  Come  in."  Two  men  entered — ill-looking,  or 
rather  malignant-looking,  clothed  in  black. 

Dick  was  in  his  room,  Buttons  out,  Figgs  and 
the  Doctor  had  not  returned  from  the  cafe'. 
The  Senator  insisted  on  shaking  hands  with 
both  his  visitors.  One  of  these  men  spoke  En 
glish. 

"  His  Excellency,"  said  he,  pointing  to  the 
other,  "wishes  to  speak  to  you  on  official  busi 
ness." 

"  Happy  to  hear  it,"  said  the  Senator. 

"His  Excellency  is  the  Chief  of  the  Police, 
and  I  am  the  Interpreter." 

Whereupon  the  Senator  shook  hands  with 
both  of  them  again. 

"Proud  to  make  your  acquaintance,"  said  he. 
"  I  am  personally  acquainted  with  the  Chief 
of  the  Boston  police,  and  also  of  the  Chief  of 
the  New  York  ;;olice,  and  my  opinion  is  that 
they  can  stand  more  liquor  than  any  men  I  ever 
met  with.  Will  you  liquor?" 

The  interpreter  did  not  understand.  The 
Senator  made  an  expressive  sign.  The  Inter 
preter  mentioned  the  request  to  the  Chief,  who 
shook  his  head  coldly. 

"This  is  formal,"  said  the  Interpreter — "  not 
social." 

The  Senator's  face  flushed.     He  frowned. 

"  Give  him  my  compliments  then,  and  tell 
him  the  next  time  he  refuses  a  gentleman's 
offer  he  had  better  do  it  like  a  gentleman.  For 


THE   DODGE  CLUB ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


81 


GOT  YOU  TUEKE! 


uy  part,  if  I  chose  to  be  uncivil,  I  might  say 
hat  I  consider  your  Roman  police  very  small 
>otatoes." 

The  Interpreter  translated  this  literally,  and 
hough  the  final  expression  was  not  very  intelli- 
;ible,  yet  it  seemed  to  imply  contempt. 

So  the  Chief  of  Police  made  his  communica- 
ion  as  sternly  as  possible.  Grave  reports  had 
>een  made  about  His  American  Excellency, 
.'he  Senator  looked  surprised. 

"What  about?" 

That  he  was  haranguing  the  people,  going 
.bout  secretly,  plotting,  and  trying  to  instill  rev- 
dutionary  sentiments  into  the  public  mind. 

"  Pooh  !"  said  the  Senator. 

The  Chief  of  Police  bade  him  be  careful, 
le  would  not  be  permitted  to  stir  up  an  excita- 
ile  populace.  This  was  to  give  him  warning. 

"  Pooh  !"  said  the  Senator  again. 

And  if  he  neglected  this  warning  it  would  be 
lie  worse  for  him.  And  the  Chief  of  Police 
ooked  unutterable  things.  The  Senator  gazed 
it  him  sternly  and  somewhat  contemptuously 
'or  a  few  minutes. 

"  You're  no  great  shakes  anyhow,"  said  he. 

"  Signore?"  said  the  Interpreter. 

"  Doesn't  it  strike  you  that  you  are  talking 
nfernal  nonsense?"  asked  the  Senator  in  a 
'lightly  argumentative  tone  of  voice,  throwing 
me  leg  over  another,  tilting  back  his  chair,  and 
biding  his  arms. 

"  Your  language  is  disrespectful,"  was  the  in- 
lignant  reply. 

"  Yours  strikes  me  as  something  of  the  same 
iind,  too;  but  more — it  is  absurd." 


"  What  do  you  mean  ?" 

"You  say  I  stir  up  the  people." 

"  Yes.     Do  you  deny  it  ?" 

"  Pooh  !     How  can  a  man  stir  up  the  people"* 
when  he  can't  speak  a  word  of  their  language  ?" 

The  Chief  of  Police  did  not  reply  for  a  mo 
ment. 

"  I  rather  think  I've  got  you  there,"  said  the 
Senator,  dryly.  "  Hey?  old  Hoss?" 

("  Old  Hoss"  was  an  epithet  which  he  used 
when  he  was  in  a  good  humor.)  He  felt  that 
he  had  the  best  of  it  here,  and  his  anger  was 
gone.  He  therefore  tilted  his  chair  back  further, 
and  placed  his  feet  upon  the  back  of  a  chair  that 
was  in  front  of  him. 

"  There  are  Italians  in  Rome  who  speak  En 
glish,"  was  at  length  the  rejoinder. 

"I  wish  I  could  find  some  then,"  said  the 
Senator.  "  It's  worse  than  looking  for  a  needle 
in  a  hay-stack,  they're  so  precious  few." 

"You  have  met  one." 

"And  I  can't  say  I  feel  over-proud  of  the  ac 
quaintance,"  said  the  Senator,  in  his  former  dry 
tone,  looking  hard  at  the  Interpreter. 

"At  the  Cafe  Cenacci,  I  mean." 

"  The  what  ?     Where's  that  ?" 

"  Where  you  were  this  morning." 

"  Oh  ho  !  that's  it — ah  ?  And  was  my  friend 
there  one  of  your  friends  too  ?"  asked  the  Sen 
ator,  as  light  burst  in  upon  him. 

"  He  was  sufficiently  patriotic  to  give  warn 
ing." 

"  Oh — patriotic  ? — he  was,  was  he?"  said  the 
Senator,  slowly,  while  his  eyes  showed  a  danger 
ous  light. 


82 


THE  DODGE  CLUB  ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


"Yes — patriotic.  He  has  watched  you  for 
some  time." 

"Watched  me!"  and  the  Senator  frowned 
wrathfully. 

"  Yes,  all  over  Rome,  wherever  you  went." 

' '  Watched  me !  dogged  me  !  tracked  me  ! 
Aha?" 

"  So  you  are  known." 

"Then  the  man  is  a  spy." 

"  He  is  a  patriot." 

"  Why  the  mean  concern  sat  next  me,  at 
tracted  my  attention  by  reading  English,  and 
encouraged  me  to  speak  as  I  did.  Why  don't 
you  arrest  him  ?" 

"  He  did  it  to  test  you." 

"  To  test  me !  How  would  he  like  me  to  test 
him?" 

"The  Government  looks  on  your  offense  with 
lenient  eyes." 

"Ah!" 

"  And  content  themselves  this  time  with  giv 
ing  you  warning." 

"Very  much  obliged  ;  but  tell  your  Govern 
ment  not  to  be  alarmed.  I  won't  hurt  them.'' 

Upon  this  the  two  visitors  took  their  leave. 


The  Senator  informed  his  two  friends  about  the 
visit,  and  thought  very  lightly  about  it ;  but  the 
recollection  of  one  thing  rankled  in  his  mind. 

That  spy !  The  fellow  had  humbugged  him. 
He  had  dogged  him,  tracked  him,  perhaps  for 
weeks,  had  drawn  him  into  conversation,  asked 
leading  questions,  and  then  given  information. 
If  there  was  any  thing  on  earth  that  the  Sena 
tor  loathed  it  was  this. 

But  how  could  such  a  mnn  be  punished ! 
That  was  the  thought.  Punishment  could  only 
come  from  one.  The  law  could  do  nothing. 
But  there  was  one  who  could  do  something,  and 
that  one  was  himself.  Lynch  law ! 

"My  fayther  was  from  Hosting, 
My  uncle  was  Judge  Lynch, 
So,  darn  your  fire  and  routing, 
You  can  not  make  me  flinch," 

The  Senator  hummed  the  above  elegant  words 
all  that  evening. 

He  thought  he  could  find  the  man  yet.  He 
was  sure  he  would  know  him.  He  would  de 
vote  himself  to  this  on  the  next  day.  The  next 
day  he  went  about  the  city,  and  at  length  in  the 
afternoon  he  came  to  Pincian  Hill.  There  was 


WALKING  SPANISH. 


THE  DODGE  CLUB  ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


83 


a  great  crowd  there  as  usual.  The  Senator 
placed  himself  in  a  favorable  position,  in  which 
lie  could  only  he  seen  from  one  point,  and  then 
watched  with  the  eye  of  a  hawk. 

He  watched  for  about  an  hour.  At  the  end 
of  that  time  he  saw  a  face.  It  belonged  to  a 
man  who  had  been  leaning  against  a  post  with 
iiis  back  turned  toward  the  Senator  all  this  time. 
It  was  the  face!  The  fellow  happened  to  turn 
t  far  enough  round  to  let  the  Senator  see  him. 
He  was  evidently  watching  him  yet.  The  Sen- 
itor  walked  rapidly  toward  him.  The  man  saw 
aim  and  began  to  move  as  rapidly  away.  The 
Senator  increased  his  pace.  So  did  the  man. 
The  Senator  walked  still  faster.  So  did  the  man. 
The  Senator  took  long  strides.  The  man  took 
short,  quick  ones.  It  is  said  that  the  fastest  pe- 
lestrians  are  those  who  take  short,  quick  steps. 
The  Senator  did  not  gain  on  the  other. 

By  this  time  a  vast  number  of  idlers  had  been 
attracted  by  the  sight  of  these  two  men  walking 
is  if  for  a  wager.  At  last  the  Senator  began 
o  run.  So  did  the  man  ! 

The  whole  thing  was  plain.  One  man  was 
phasing  the  other.  At  once  all  the  idlers  of 
;he  Pincian  Hill  stopped  all  their  avocations 
md  turned  to  look.  The  road  winds  down  the 
Pincian  Hill  to  the  Piazza  del  Popolo,  and  those 
an  the  upper  part  can  look  down  and  see  the 
whole  extent.  What  a  place  for  a  race  f  The 
quick-eyed  Romans  saw  it  all. 

"A<spy!  yes,  a  Government  spy!" 

"  Cfjased  by  an  eccentric  Englishman  !'' 

A  loud  shout  burst  from  the  Roman  crowd. 
But  a  number  of  English  and  Americans  thought 
differently.  They  saw  a  little  man  chased 
by  a  big  one.  Some  cried  "  Shame  !"  Others, 
thinking  it  a  case  of  pocket  -  picking,  cried 
"Stop  thief!"  Others  cried  "Go  it,  little  fel 
low!  Two  to  one  on  the  small  chap  !"- 

Every  body  on  the  Pincian  Hill  rushed  to  the 
edge  of  the  winding  road  to  look  down,  or  to 
the  paved  walk  that  overlooks  the  Piazza.  Car 
riages  stopped  and  the  occupants  looked  down. 
French  soldiers,  dragoons,  guards,  officers — all 
staring. 

And  away  went  the  Senator.  And  away  ran 
the  terrified  spy.  Down  the  long  way,  and  at 
length  they  came  to  the  Piazza  del  Popolo.  A 
loud  shout  came  from  all  the  people.  Above 
and  on  all  sides  they  watched  the  race.  The  spy 
darted  down  the  Corso.  The  Senator  after  him. 

The  Romans  in  the  street  applauded  vocifer 
ously.  Hundreds  of  people  stopped,  and  then 
turned  and  ran  after  the  Senator.  All  the  win 
dows  were  crowded  with  heads.  All  the  balco 
nies  were  filled  with  people. 

Down  along  the  Corso.  Past  the  column  of 
Antonine.  Into  a  street  on  the  left.  The 
Senator  was  gaining !  At  last  they  came  to  a 
square.  A  great  fountain  of  vast  waters  bursts 
forth  there.  The  spy  ran  to  the  other  side  of 
the  square,  and  just  as  he  was  darting  into  a 
side  alley  the  Senator's  hand  clutched  his  coat- 
tails  ! 

The  Senator  took  the   spy  in  that  way  by 


which  one  is  enabled  to  make  any  other  do 
what  is  called  "Walking  Spanish,"  and  pro 
pelled  him  rapidly  toward  the  reservoir  of  the 
fountain. 

The  Senator  raised  the  spy  from  the  ground 
and  pitched  him  into  the  pool. 

The  air  was  rent  with  acclamations  and  cries 
of  delight. 

As  the  spy  emerged,  half-drowned,  the  crowd 
came  forward  and  wo'uld  have  prolonged  the 
delightful  sensation. 

Not  often  did  they  have  a  spy  in  their  hands. 


DICK  THINKS   IT  OVER. 

CHAPTER  XXXV. 

DICK  MAKES  ANOTHER  EFFORT,  AND  BEGINS   TO 
FEEL  ENCOURAGED. 

PEPITA'S  little  visit  was  beneficial  to  Dick. 
It  showed  him  that  he  was  not  altogether  cut 
off  from  her.  Before  that  he  had  grown  to 
think  of  her  as  almost  inaccessible  ;  now  she 
seemed  to  have  a  will,  and,  what  is  better,  a  heart 
of  her  own,  which  would  lead  her  to  do  her 
share  toward  meeting  him  again.  Would  ir  not 
be  better  now  to  comply  with  her  evident  de 
sire,  and  leave  Rome  for  a  little  while  ?  He 
could  return  again.  But  how  could  he  tear 
himself  away  ?  Would  it  not  be  far  better  to 
remain  and  seek  her?  He  could  not  decide. 
He  thought  of  Padre  Liguori.  He  had  grossly 
insulted  that  gentleman,  and  the  thought  of 
meeting  him  again  made  him  feel  blank.  Yet 
he  was  in  some  way  or  other  a  protector  of 
Pepita,  a  guardian,  perhaps,  and  as  such  had 


84 


THE  DODGE  CLUB ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


influence  over  her  fortunes.  If  he  could  only 
disarm  hostility  from  Padre  Liguori  it  would 
be  undoubtedly  for  his  benefit.  Perhaps  Padre 
Liguori  would  become  his  friend,  and  try  to  in-  j 
fluence  Pepita's  family  in  his  favor.  So  he  de 
cided  on  going  to  see  Padre  Liguori. 

The  new  turn  which  had  been  given  to  his  j 
feelings  by  Pepita's  visit  had  benefited  him  in 
mind  and  body.  He  was  quite  strong  enough 
for  a  long  walk.  Arriving  at  the  church  he 
had  no  difficulty  in  finding  Liguori.  The  priest 
advanced  with  a  look  of  surprise. 

"Before  mentioning  the  object  of  my  visit," 
said  Dick,  bowing  courteously,  "I  owe  you  an 
humble  apology  for  a  gross  insult.  I  hope  you 
will  forgive  me." 

The  priest  bowed. 

"  After  I  left  here  I  succeeded  in  my  object," 
continued  Dick. 

"  I  heard  so,"  said  Liguori,  coldly. 

"  And  you  have  heard  also  that  I  met  with  a 
terrible  punishment  for  my  presumption,  or 
whatever  else  you  may  choose  to  call  it." 

"  I  heard  of  that  also,"  said  the  priest,  stern 
ly.  "And  do  you  complain  of  it?  Tell  me. 
Was  it  not  deserved  ?" 

"If  their  suspicions  and  yours  had  been  cor 
rect,  then  the  punishment  would  have  been  well 
deserved.  But  you  all  wrong  me.  I  entreat 
you  to  believe  me.  I  am  no  adventurer.  I  am 
honest  and  sincere." 

"  We  have  only  your  word  for  this,"  said 
Liguori,  coldly. 

"  What  will  make  you  believe  that  I  am  sin 
cere,  then?"  said  Dick.  "What  proof  can  I 
give  ?" 

"  You  are  safe  in  offering  to  give  proofs  in  a 
case  where  none  can  be  given." 

"I  am  frank  with  you.  Will  you  not  be  so 
with  me  ?  I  come  to  you  to  try  to  convince  you 
of  my  honesty,  Padre  Liguori.  I  love  Pepita  as 
truly  and  as  honorably  as  it  is  possible  for  man 
to  love.  It  was  that  feeling  that  so  bewildered 
me  that  I  was  led  to  insult  you.  I  went  out 
in  the  midst  of  danger,  and  would  have  died  for 
her.  With  these  feelings  I  can  not  give  her  up." 

"I  have  heard  sentiment  like  this  often  be 
fore.  What  is  your  meaning  ?" 

"  I  am  rich  and  of  good  family  in  my  own 
country;  and  lam  determined  to  have  Pepita 
for  my  wife." 

"  Your  wife!" 

"Yes,"  said  Dick,  resolutely.  "lam  hon 
orable  and  open  about  it.  My  story  is  short.  I 
love  her,  and  wish  to  make  her  my  wife." 

The  expression  of  Liguori  changed  entirely. 

"Ah!  this  makes  the  whole  matter  different 
altogether.  I  did  not  know  this  before.  Nor 
did  the  Count.  But  he  is  excusable.  A  sud 
den  passion  blinded  him.  and  he  attacked  you. 
I  will  tell  you  " — and  at  each  word  the  priest's 
manner  grew  more  friendly — "I  will  tell  you 
how  it  is,  Signore.  The  Giantis  were  once  a 
powerful  family,  and  still  have  their  title.  I 
consider  myself  as  a  kind  of  appanage  to  the 
family,  for  my  ancestors  for  several  generations 


were  their  mayr/iordomos.  Poverty  at  last  strip 
ped  them  of  every  thing,  and  I.  the  last  of  the 
family  dependents,  entered  the  Church.  But  I 
still  preserve  my  respect  and  love  for  them. 
You  can  understand  how  bitterly  I  would  re 
sent  and  avenge  any  base  act  or  any  wrong  done 
to  them.  You  can  understand  Luigi's  vengeance 
also." 

"I  thought  as  much,"  said  Dick.  "I 
thought  you  were  a  kind  of  guardian,  and  so  I 
came  here  to  tell  you  frankly  how  it  is.  I  love 
her.  I  can  make  her  rich  and  happy.  To  do 
so  is  the  desire  of  my  heart.  Why  should  I  be 
turned  away?  Or  if  there  be  any  objection, 
what  is  it?" 

"  There  is  no  objection — none  whatever,  if 
Pepita  is  willing,  and  you  sincerely  love  her.  I 
think  that  Luigi  would  give  his  consent." 

"  Then  what  would  prevent  me  from  marry 
ing  her  at  once  ?" 

"  At  once  !" 

"Certainly." 

"You  show  much  ardor  ;  but  still  an  imme 
diate  marriage  is  impossible.  There  are  vari 
ous  reasons  for  this.  In  the  first  place,  we  love 
Pepita  too  dearly  to  let  her  go  so  suddenly  to 
some  one  who  merely  feels  a  kind  of  impulse. 
We  should  like  to  know  that  there  is  some  pros 
pect  of  her  being  happy.  We  have  cherished 
her  carefully  thus  far,  and  will  not  let  her  go 
without  having  some  security  about  her  happi 
ness." 

"Then  I  will  wait  as  long  as  you  like,  or 
send  for  my  friends  to  give  you  every  informa 
tion  you  desire  to  have ;  or  if  you  want  me  to 
give  any  proofs,  in  any  way,  about  any  thing, 
I'm  ready." 

"  There  is  another  thing,"  said  Liguori, 
"which  I  hope  you  will  take  kindly.  You  are 
young  and  in  a  foreign  country.  This  sudden 
impulse  may  be  a  whim.  If  you  were  to  mar 
ry  now  you  might  bitterly  repent  it  before  three 
months  were  over.  Under  such  circumstances 
it  would  be  misery  for  you  and  her.  If  this 
happened  in  your  native  country  you  could  be 
betrothed  and  wait.  There  is  also  another  rea 
son  why  waiting  is  absolutely  necessary.  It  will 
take  some  time  to  gain  her  brother's  consent. 
Now  her  brother  is  poor,  but  he  might  hav 
been  rich.  He  is  a  Liberal,  and  belongs  to  th 
National  party.  He  hates  the  present  system 
here  most  bitterly.  He  took  part  in  the  Roman 
Republican  movement  a  few  years  ago,  and  was 
imprisoned  after  the  return  of  the  Pope,  and 
lost  the  last  vestige  of  his  property  by  confisca 
tion.  He  now  dresses  coarsely,  and  declines 
to  associate  with  any  Romans,  except  a  few  why 
are  members  of  a  secret  society  with  him.  Ho 
is  very  closely  watched  by  the  Government,  so 
that  he  has  to  be  quiet.  But  he  expects  to 
rise  to  eminence  and  power,  and  even  wealth, 
before  very  long.  So  you  see  he  does  not  look 
upon  his  sister  as  a  mere  common  every-day 
match.  He  expects  to  elevate  her  to  the  high 
est  rank,  where  she  can  find  the  best  in  the 
country  around  her.  For  my  own  part  I  think 


THE  DODGE  CLUB  ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


85 


this  is  doubtful ;  and  if  you  are  in  earnest  I 
should  do  what  I  could  to  further  your  inter 
est.  But  it  will  take  some  time  to  persuade 
the  Count." 

"  Then,  situated  as  I  am,  what  can  I  do  to 
gain  her  ?"  asked  Dick. 

"Are  your  friends  thinking  of  leaving  Borne 
soon  ?" 

"Yes,  pretty  soon." 

"  Do  not  leave  them.  Go  with  them.  Pur 
sue  the  course  you  originally  intended,  just  .as 
though  nothing  had  happened.  If  after  your 
tour  is  finished  you  find  that  your  feelings  are 
as  strong  as  ever,  and  that  she  is  as  dear  to  you 
as  you  say,  then  you  may  return  here." 

"  And  you  ?" 

"  I  think  all  objections  may  be  removed." 

"  It  will  take  some  weeks  to  finish  our  tour." 

"  Some  weeks  !  Oh,  do  not  return  under 
three  months  at  least." 

"  Three  months  !  that  is  very  long !" 

"Not  too  long.  The  time  will  soon  pass 
away.  If  you  do  not  really  love  her  you  will 
be  glad  at  having  escaped  ;  if  you  do  you  will 
rejoice  at  having  proved  your  sincerity." 

Some  further  conversation  passed,  after  which 
Dick,  finding  the  priest  inflexible,  ceased  to  per 
suade,  and  acceded  to  his  proposal. 


CHAPTER  XXXVI. 


SHOWING  HOW  DIFFICULT  IT  IS  TO  GET  A  LAUN 
DRESS,  FOR  THE  SENATOR  WANTED  ONE,  AND 
NOT  KNOWING  THE  LANGUAGE  GOT  INTO  A 
SCRAPE,  NOT  BY  HIS  OWN  FAULT,  FOR  HE  WAS 
CAREFUL  ABOUT  COMMITTING  HIMSELF  WITH 
THE  LADIES  ;  BUT  PRAT,  WAS  IT  HIS  FAULT  IF 
THE  LADIES  WOULD  TAKE  A  FANCY  TO  HIM  ? 

SlGNORA  MlRANDOLINA  RoCCA,  wllO  Was  the 

landlady  of  the  house  where  the  Club  were  lodg 
ing,  was  a  widow,  of  about  forty  years  of  age, 
still  fresh  and  blooming,  with  a  merry  dark  eye, 
and  much  animation  of  features.  Sitting  usual 
ly  in  the  small  room  which  they  passed  on  the 
way  to  their  apartments,  they  had  to  stop  to 
get  their  keys,  or  to  leave  them  when  they  went 
out,  and  Buttons  and  Dick  frequently  stopped 
to  have  a  little  conversation.  The  rest,  not 
being  able  to  speak  Italian,  contented  them 
selves  with  smiles ;  the  Senator  particularly, 
who  gave  the  most  beaming  of  smiles  both  on 
going  and  on  returning.  Sometimes  he  even 
tried  to  talk  to  her  in  his  usual  adaptation  of 
broken  English,  spoken  in  loud  tones  to  the 
benighted  but  fascinating  foreigner.  Her  at 
tention  to  Dick  during  his  sickness  increased 
the  Senator's  admiration,  and  he  thought  her 
one  of  the  best,  one  of  the  most  kind-hearted 
and  sympathetic  of  beings. 

One  day,  toward  the  close  of  their  stay  in 
Rome,  the  Senator  was  in  a  fix.  He  had  not 
had  any  washing  done  since  he  came  to  the 
city.  He  had  run  through  all  his  clean  linen, 
and  came  to  a  dead  stand.  Before  leaving  for 
another  place  it  was  absolutely  necessary  to  at 


tend  to  this.  But  how  ?  Buttons  was  off  with 
the  Spaniards ;  Dick  had  gone  out  on  a  drive. 
No  one  could  help  him,  so  he  tried  it  himself. 
In  fact,  he  had  never  lost  confidence  in  his  pow 
ers  of  making  himself  understood.  It  was  still 
a  fixed  conviction  of  his  that  in  cases  of  neces 
sity  any  intelligent  man  could  make  his  wants 
known  to  intelligent  foreigners.  If  not,  there 
is  stupidity  somewhere.  Had  he  not  done  so 
in  Paris  and  in  other  places  ? 

So  he  rang  and  managed  to  make  the  servant 
understand  that  he  wished  to  see  the  landlady. 
The  landlady  had  always  shown  a  great  admi 
ration  for  the  manly,  not  to  say  gigantic  charms 
of  the  Senator.  Upon  him  she  bestowed  her 
brightest  smile,  and  the  quick  flush  on  her 
face  and  heaving  breast  told  that  the  Senator 
had  made  wild  work  with  her  too  susceptible 
heart. 

So  now  when  she  learned  that  the  Senator 
wished  to  see  her,  she  at  once  imagined  the 
cause  to  be  any  thing  and  every  thing  except 
the  real  one.  Why  take  that  particular  time, 
when  all  the  rest  were  out  ?  she  thought.  Evi 
dently  for  some  tender  purpose.  Why  send  for 
her  ?  Why  not  come  down  to  see  her  ?  Evi 
dently  because  he  did  not  like  the  publicity  of 
her  room  at  the  Conciergerie. 

She  arrayed  herself,  therefore,  in  her  bright 
est  and  her  best  charms ;  gave  an  additional 
flourish  to  her  dark  hair  that  hung  wavingly  and 


TUB   SENATOK  1M    A  DAD   FIX. 


86 


THE  DODGE  CLUB ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


luxuriantly,  and  still  without  a  trace  of  gray  over 
her  forehead ;  looked  at  herself  with  her  dark 
eyes  in  the  glass  to  see  if  she  appeared  to  the 
best  advantage  ;  and  finally,  in  some  agitation, 
but  with  great  eagerness,  she  went  to  obey  the 
summons. 

Meantime  the  Senator  had  been  deliberating 
how  to  begin.  He-  felt  that  he  could  not  show 
his  bundle  of  clothes  to  so  fair  and  fine  a  creat 
ure  as  this,  whose  manners  were  so  soft  and 
whose  smile  so  pleasant.  He  would  do  any 
thing  first.  He  would  try  a  roundabout  way 
of  making  known  his  wishes,  trusting  to  his 
own  powers  and  the  intelligence  of  the  lady  for 
a  full  and  complete  understanding.  Just  as  he 
had  come  to  this  conclusion  there  was  a  timid 
knock  at  the  door. 

"  Come  in,"  said  the  Senator,  who  began  to 
feel  a  little  awkward  already. 

"  E permesso  ?"  said  a  soft  sweet  voice,  "  se 
puo  entrare  ?"  and  Signora  Mirandolina  Rocca 
advanced  into  the  room,  giving  one  look  at  the 
Senator,  and  then  casting  down  her  eyes. 

"  Umilissima  servo,  di  Lei,  Signore,  mi  com- 
mandi." 

But  the  Senator  was  in  a  quandary.  What 
could  he  do  ?  How  begin  ?  What  gesture  would 
be  the  most  fitting  for  a  beginning  ? 

The  pause  began  to  be  embarrassing.  The 
lady,  however,  as  yet  was  calm — calmer,  in  fact, 
than  when  she  entered. 

So  she  spoke  once  more. 

"  Di  che  ha  Ella  bisogna,  Illustris  simo  f" 

The  Senator  was  dreadfully  embarrassed. 
The  lady  was  so  fair  in  his  eyes.  Was  this  a 
woman  who  could  contemplate  the  fact  of  soiled 
linen  ?  Never. 

"Ehem !"  said  he. 

Then  he  paused. 

"  Serva  devota,"  said  Signora  Mirandolina. 
"Chec'e,  Signore.'1 

Then  looking  up,  she  saw  the  face  of  the 
Senator  all  rosy  red,  turned  toward  her,  with  a 
strange  confusion  and  embarrassment  in  his  eye, 
yet  it  was  a  kind  eye — a  soft,  kind  eye. 

"  Egli  e  forse  innamorato  di  me,"  murmured 
the  lady,  gathering  new  courage  as  she  saw  the 
timidity  of  the  other.  "Che  grandezza!"  she 
continued,  loud  enough  for  the  Senator  to  hear, 
yet  speaking  as  if  to  herself.  "Che  bellezza  ! 
un  galantuomo,  (^rtamente  —  e  quest1  e  molto  pia- 
cevole." 

She  glanced  at  the  manly  figure  of  the  Sen 
ator  with  a  tender  admiration  in  her  eye  which 
she  could  not  repress,  and  which  was  so  intelli 
gible  to  the  Senator  that  he  blushed  more  vio 
lently  than  ever,  and  looked  helplessly  around 
him. 

"  E  innamorato  di  me,  senza  dubio,"  said  the 
Signora,  "  vergogna  non  vuol  die  sisapesse." 

The  Senator  at  length  found  voice.  Ad 
vancing  toward  the  lady  he  looked  at  her  very 
earnestly  and  as  she  thought  very  piteouslv — 
held  out  both  his  hands,  then  smiled,  then 
spread  his  hands  apart,  then  nodded  and  smiled 
again,  and  said — 


"Me  —  me  —  want  —  ha — hum  —  ah!  You 
know — me — gentlem  an  —  hum — me Con 
found  the  luck,"  he  added,  in  profound  vexa 
tion. 

"  Signore,"  said  Mirandolina,  "  la  di  Lei  gen- 
telezza  me  confonde." 

The  Senator  turned  his  eyes  all  around,  every 
where,  in  a  desperate  half-conscious  search  for 
escape,  from  an  embarrassing  situation. 

"Signore  noi  ci  siamo  sole,  nessuno  ci  senti," 
J  remarked  the  Signora,  encouragingly. 

"Me  want  to  tell  you  this!"  burst  forth  the 
j  Senator.       "  Clothes  —  you   know  —  washy  — 
washy."     Whereupon  he  elevated  his  eyebrows, 
smiled,  and  brought  the  tips  of  his  fingers  to 
gether. 

"  lo  non  so  checosa  vuol  dir  mi.  Illustrissimo, 
said  the  Signora,  in  bewilderment. 

"You — you — you  know.  Ah?  Washy? 
Hey?  No,  no,"  shaking  his  head,  "  not  washy, 
but  get  washy. " 

The  landlady  smiled.  The  Senator,  encour 
aged  by  this,  came  a  step  nearer. 

"  Che  cosaf  Jl  cuor  me  palplta.  lo  trcmo," 
murmured  La  Rocca. 

She  retreated  a  step.  Whereupon  the  Sena 
tor  at  once  fell  back  again  in  great  confusion. 

"Washy,  washy,"  he  repeated,  mechanically, 
as  his  mind  was  utterly  vague  and  distrait. 

"  Uassi-Uuassi  ?"  repeated  the  other,  inter 
rogatively. 

"  Me—" 

"  TV,"  said  she,  with  tender  emphasis. 

"  Wee  mounseer,"  said  he,  with  utter  desper 
ation. 

The  Signora  shook  her  head.  "  Non  capisco. 
Ma  quel/e,  balordaggini  ed  intormentimente,  die 
sono  si  non  segni  manifesti  d'amore  ?" 

"I  don't  understand,  marm,  a  single  word  of 
that." 

The  Signora  smiled.  The  Senator  took  cour 
age  again. 

"The  fact  is  this,  marm,"  said  he,  firmly,  "I 
want  to  get  my  clothes  washed  somewhere.  Of 
course  you  don't  do  it,  but  you  can  tell  me,  you 
know.  Hm  ?" 

"  Non  capisco." 

"Madame,"  said  he,  feeling  confident  that 
she  would  understand  that  word  at  least,  and 
thinking,  too,  that  it  might  perhaps  serve  as  a 
key  to  explain  any  other  words  which  he  might 
append  to  it.  "  My  clothes — I  want  to  get  them 
washed — laundress — washy — soap  and  water — 
clean  'em  all  up — iron  'em — hang  'em  out  to  dry. 
Ha?" 

While  saying  this  he  indulged  in  an  express 
ive  pantomine.  When  alluding  to  his  clothes 
he  placed  his  hands  against  his  chest,  when  men 
tioning  the  drying  of  them  he  waved  them  in  the 
air.  The  landlady  comprehended  this.  How 
not  ?  When  a  gentleman  places  his  hand  on  his 
heart,  what  is  his  meaning  ? 

"  0  sottigiiezza  d'amore  /"   murmured   she. 
"•Che  cosa  cerca,"   she  continued,  looking  up 
timidly  but  invitingly. 
I      The  Senator  felt  doubtful  at  this,  and  in  fact 


THE  DODGE  CLUB ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


87 


THE  SENATOR  IN  A  WORSE  FIX. 


a  little  frightened.  Again  he  placed  his  hands 
on  his  chest  to  indicate  his  clothes ;  he  struck 
that  manly  chest  forcibly  several  times,  looking 
at  her  all  the  time.  Then  lie  wrung  his  hands. 

"Ah,  /Sfynore, "  said  La  Rocca,  with  a  melt 
ing  glance,  "non  e  d'uo/io  di  desperazione." 

"  Washy,  washy — " 

"E/>pure,  se  Ella  vuol  sposarmi,  non  ce  dlffi- 
cotta,"  returned  the  other,  with  true  Italian 
frankness. 

"  Soap  and  water — " 

"  Aron  ho  il  coraggio  di  dir  di  no." 

The  Senator  had  his  arms  outstretched  to  in 
dicate  the  hanging-out  process.  Still,  however, 
feeling  doubtful  if  he  were  altogether  under 
stood,  he  thought  he  would  try  another  form  of 
pantomime.  Suddenly  he  fell  down  on  his 
knees,  and  began  to  imitate  the  action  of  a 
washer-woman  over  her  tub,  washing,  wringing, 
pounding,  nibbing. 

"  0  yran'  tielo  .'"  cried  the  Signora,  her  pity 
ing  heart  filled  with  tenderness  at  the  sight  of 
this  noble  being  on  his  knees  before  her,  and,  as 
she  thought,  wringing  his  hands  in  despair. 
"  0  (/ran1  cielo  !  Egli  e  innamorato  di  me  non 
puo  parlor  Italiano  e  cosi  non  puo  dirmelo.'' 


Her  warm  heart  prompted  her,  and  she  obey 
ed  its  impulse.  What  else  could  she  do  ?  She 
flung  herself  into  his  outstretched  arms,  as  he 
raised  himself  to  hang  out  imaginary  clothes  on 
an  invisible  line. 

The  Senator  was  thunderstruck,  confounded, 
bewildered,  shattered,  overcome,  crushed,  stupe 
fied,  blasted,  overwhelmed,  horror  -  stricken, 
wonder-smitten,  annihilated,  amazed,  horrified, 
shocked,  frightened,  terrified,  nonplused,  wilted, 
awe-struck,  shivered,  astounded,  dumbfounded. 
He  did  not  even  struggle.  He  was  paralyzed. 

"Ah,  carissimo,"  said  a  soft  and  tender  voice 
in  his  ear,  a  low,  sweet  voice,  "  se  veramenta  me 
ami,  saro  lo  tua  carissima  sposa — " 

At  that  moment  the  door  opened  and  But 
tons  walked  in.  In  an  instant  he  darted  out. 
The  Signora  hurried  away. 

"  Addio,  bellissima,  carissima  gioja!"  she  sigh 
ed. 

The  Senator  was  still  paralyzed. 

After  a  time  he  went  with  a  pale  and  anx 
ious  face  to  see  Buttons.  That  young  man 
promised  secrecy,  and  when  the  Senator  was 
telling  his  story  tried  hard  to  look  serious  and 
sympathetic.  In  vain.  The  thought  of  that 


88 


THE  DODGE  CLUB  ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


scene,  and  the  cause  of  it,  and  the  blunder  that 
had  been  made  overwhelmed  him.  Laughter 
convulsed  him.  At  last  the  Senator  got  up  in 
dignantly  and  left  the  room. 

But  what  was  he  to  do  now  ?  The  thing 
could  not  be  explained.  How  could  he  get  out 
of  the  house  ?  He  would  have  to  pass  her  as 
she  sat  at  the  door. 

He  had  to  call  on  Buttons  again  and  implore 
his  assistance.  The  difficulty  was  so  repug 
nant,  and  the  matter  so  very  delicate,  that  But 
tons  declared  he  could  not  take  the  respon 
sibility  of  settling  it.  It  would  have  to  be 
brought  before  the  Glub. 

The  Club  had  a  meeting  about  it,  and  many 
plans  were  proposed.  The  stricken  Senator 
had  one  plan,  and  that  prevailed.  It  was  to 
leave  Rome  on  the  following  day.  For  his 
part  he  had  made  up  his  mind  to  leave  the  house 
at  once.  He  would  slip  out  as  though  he  in 
tended  to  return,  and  the  others  could  settle  his 
bill  and  bring  with  them  the  clothes  that  had 
caused  all  this  trouble.  He  would  meet  them 
in  the  morning  outside  the  gate  of  the  city. 

This  resolution  was  adopted  by  all,  and  the 
Senator,  leaving  money  to  settle  for  himself, 
went  away.  He  passed  hurriedly  out  of  the 
door.  He  dared  not  look.  He  heard  a  soft 
voice  pronounce  the  word  "  Cioja  /"  He  fled. 

Now  that  one  who  owned  the  soft  voice  after 
ward  changed  her  feelings  so  much  toward  her 
"gioja"  that  opposite  his  name  in  her  house- 
book  she  wrote  the  following  epithets:  Bir- 
bone,  Villano,  Zolicaccio,  Burierone,  GagJioffo, 
dfeschino,  Briconaccio,  Anemalaccio. 


CHAPTER   XXXVII. 

Rome. — Ancient  History. — THE  PREHISTORIC  ERA. 

— CRITICAL  EXAMINATION  OF  NIEBUHR  AND 
HIS  SCHOOL. — THE  EARLY  HISTORY  OF  ROME 
PLACED  ON  A  RIGHT  BASIS. — EXPLANATION  OF 
HISTORY  OF  REPUBLIC. — NAPOLEON'S  "  CAE 
SAR." — THE  IMPERIAL  REGIME. — THE  NORTH 
ERN  BARBARIANS. — RISE  OF  THE  PAPACY. — ME 
DIAEVAL  ROME. 

Topography. — TRUE  ADJUSTMENT  OF  BOUNDS  OF 

ANCIENT  CITY. — ITS  PROBABLE  POPULATION.  — 

Geology. — EXAMINATION  OF  FORMATION. — TUFA 

TRAVERTINE. —  ROMAN    CEMENT.  —  TERRA-COT- 

TA. — Special  consideration  of  Roman  Catacombs. 

— BOSIO. — ARRINGHI. — CARDINAL  WISEMAN. — 
RECENT  EXPLORATIONS,  INVESTIGATIONS,  EX 
AMINATIONS,  EXHUMATIONS,  AND  RESUSCITA 
TIONS. — EARLY  CHRISTIAN  HISTORY  SET  ON  A 
TRUE  BASIS. — RELICS. — MARTYRS. — REAL  ORI 
GIN  OF  CATACOMBS. — TRUE  AND  RELIABLE  EX 
TENT  (WITH  MAPS). 

Remarks  on  Art. — THE  RENAISSANCE. — THE  EARLY 
PAINTERS:  CIMABUE,  GIOTTO,  PERUGINO,  RAF- 
AELLE  SANZIO,  MICHELANGELO  BUONAROTTI. — 
THE  TRANSFIGURATION. — THE  MOSES  OF  MI 
CHELANGELO. — BELLINI. — SAINT  PETER'S,  AND 
MORE  PARTICULARLY  THE  COLONNADE. — THE 
LAST  JUDGMENT. — DANTE. — THE  MEDIAEVAL 
SPIRIT. — EFFECT  OF  GOTHIC  ART  ON  ITALY  AND 
ITALIAN  TASTE.  —  COMPARISON  OF  LOMHAHD 
WITH  SICILIAN  CHURCHES. — TO  WHAT  EXTENT 
ROME  INFLUENCED  THIS  DEVELOPMENT. — THE 
FOSTERING  SPIRIT  OF  THE  CHURCH. — ALL  MOD- 
KKN  ART  CHRISTIAN. — WHY  THIS  WAS  A  NECES 


SITY. —  FOLLIES  OF  MODERN  CRITICS.  —  REYN 
OLDS  AND  RUSKIN. — HOW  FAR  POPULAR  TASTE 
IS  WORTH  ANY  THING. — CONCLUDING  REMARKS 
OF  A  MISCELLANEOUS  DESCRIPTION. 

[There !  as  a  bill  of  fare  I  flatter  myself  that  the  above 
ought  to  tnke  the  eye.  It  was  my  intention,  on  the  de 
parture  of  the  Club  from  Rome,  to  write  a  chapter  of  a 
thoroughly  exhaustive  character,  as  will  be  seen  by  the 
table  of  conteuts  above;  but  afterward,  finding  that  the 
chapter  had  already  reached  the  dimensions  of  a  good- 
sized  book  before  a  quarter  of  it  was  written,  I  thought 
that  if  it  were  inserted  in  this  work  it  would  be  considered 
by  some  as  too  long ;  in  fact,  if  it  were  admitted  nothing 
more  would  ever  be  heard  of  the  Dodge  Club;  which 
would  be  a  great  pity,  as  the  be.-t  of  their  advent  HIT-  did 
not  take  place  until  after  this  peiiod;  and  as  this  is  the 
real  character  of  the  present  work,  I  have  finally  decided 
to  enlarge  the  chapter  into  a  book,  which  I  will  publish 
after  I  have  given  to  the  world  my  "  History  of  the  Mic- 
macs,"  "Treatise  on  the  Greek  Particles,"  "Course  of 
Twelve  Lectures  on  Modem  History,"  new  edition  of  the 
"AgamemnonMiiTriology"  of  ^Eschylus,  with  new  read 
ings,  "  Harmony  of  Greek  Accent  and  Prosody,"  "  Kxer- 
cisis  in  Sanscrit  for  Beginners,  on  the  Ollendorf  System," 
"The  Odyssey  of  Homer  translated  into  the  Dubl'in  Irish 
dialect,"  "Dissertation  on  the  Symbolical  Nature  of  the  Mo 
saic  Economy,"  "Elements  of  Logic,"  "Examination  into 
the  Law  of  Neutrals,"  "•  Life  of  General  George  Wa-hing- 
ton,"  "History  of  Patent  Medicines"  "Transactions  of 
the  'Saco  Association  for  the  advancement  of  Human 
Learning,  p:\rticularly  Natural  Science'  (consisting  of  one 
article  written  by  myself  on  'The  Toads  of  Maine'),"  and 
"Report  of  the  ' Kennebunkport,  Maine,  United  Congre 
gational  Ladies'  Benevolent  City  Missionary  and  Mariners' 
Friend  Society,' ''  which  will  all  be  out  some  of  these  days, 
I  don't  know  exactly  when  ;  but  after  they  come  out  this 
chapter  will  appear  in  book  form.  And  if  any  of  my  read 
ers  prefer  to  wait  till  they  read  that  chapter  before  read 
ing  any  further,  all  I  can  say  is,  perhaps  they'd  better 
not,  as  after  all  it  has  no  necessary  connection  with  the 
fortunes  of  the  Dodge  Club.] 


CHAPTER  XXXVIII. 

ITALIAN  TRAVEL,  ROADS,  INNS. — A  GRAND  BREAK 
DOWN. — AN  ARMY  OF  BEGGARS. — SIX  MEN- 
HUNTING  UP  A  CARRIAGE  WHEEL;  AND  PLANS 
OF  THE  SENATOR  FOR  THE  GOOD  OF  ITALY. 

ON  the  following  morning  the  Senator  was 
picked  up  at  the  gate,  where  he  had  waited  pa 
tiently  ever  since  the  dawn  of  day.  His  scat 
was  secured.  His  friends  were  around  him. 
He  was  safe.  They  rolled  on  merrily  all  that 
day.  And  their  carnage  was  ahead  of  that  of 
the  Spaniards.  They  stopped  at  the  same  inns. 
Buttons  was  happy. 

The  next  day  came.  At  nine  o'clock  A.M. 
on  the  next  day  there  was  a  singular  scene : 

A  vettura  with  the  fore-wheel  crushed  into 
fragments  ;  two  horses  rnadly  plunging ;  five 
men  thrown  in  different  directions  on  a  soft 
sand-bank  ;  and  a  driver  gazing  upon  the  scene 
with  a  face  of  woe. 

The  Senator  tried  most  energetically  to  brush 
the  dust  from  his  clothes  with  an  enormous  red 
silk  handkerchief;  the  Doctor  and  Mr.  Figgs 
looked  aghast  at  huge  rents  in  their  nether  gar 
ments  ;  Buttons  and  Dick  picked  themselves  up 
and  hurried  to  the  wreck. 

The  emotions  of  the  former  may  be  conceived. 
The  wheel  was  an  utter  smash.  No  patching 
however  thorough,  no  care  however  tender,  could 
place  it  on  its  edge  again  a  perfect  wheel.  A  hill 
rose  before  them,  behind  which  the  Spaniards, 
hitherto  their  companions,  had  disappeared  half 
an  hour  previously,  and  were  now  rolling  on  over 


THE  DODGE  CLUB ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


89 


the  p.ilin  beyond  that  hill  all  ignorant  of  this 
disaster.  Every  moment  separated  them  more 
widely  from  the  despairing  Buttons.  Could  he 
have  metamorphosed  himself  into  a  wheel  most 
gladly  would  he  have  done  it.  He  had  wild 
thoughts  of  setting  off  on  foot  and  catching  np 
to  them  before«,the  next  day.  But,  of  course, 
further  reflection  showed  him  that  walking  was 
out  of  the  question. 

Dick  looked  on  in  silence.  They  were  little 
more  than  a  day's  journey  from  Rome.  Civita 
Castellana  lay  between ;  yet  perhaps  a  wheel 
might  not  be  got  at  Civita  Castellana.  In  that 
case  a  return  to  Rome  was  inevitable.  What  a 
momentous  thought!  Back  to  Rome!  Evejr 
since  he  left  lie  had  felt  a  profound  melancholy. 
The  feeling  of  homesickness  was  on  him.  He 
had  amused  himself  with  keeping  his  eyes  shut 
and  fancying  that  he  was  moving  to  Rome  in 
stead  of  from  it.  He  had  repented  leaving  the  | 
city.  Better,  he  thought,  to  have  waited.  He 
might  then  have  seen  Pepita.  The  others  grad 
ually  came  to  survey  the  scene. 

"  Eh  ?     Well,  what's  to  be  done  now  ?"  said  ! 
Buttons,  sharply,  as   the    driver    came    along. 
"  How  long  are  you  going  to  wait  ?" 

"Signore  makes  no  allowance  for  a  poor 
man's  confusion.  Behold  that  wheel!  What 
is  there  for  me  to  do — unhappy  ?  May  the  bit 
ter  curse  of  the  ruined  fall  upon  that  miserable 
wheel ! " 


"The  coach  has  already  fallen  on  it,"  said 
Dick.  "  Surely  that  is  enough." 

'•  It  infuriates  me  to  find  myself  overthrown 
here." 

"You  could  not  wish  for  a  better  place,  my 
Pietro." 

"  What  will  you  do  ?"  said  Buttons.  "  We 
must  not  waste  time  here.  Can  we  go  on  ?" 

"  How  is  that  possible  ?" 

"We  might  get  a  wheel  at  the  next  town." 

"We  could  not  find  one  if  we  hunted  all 
through  the  three  next  towns." 

"  Curse  your  Italian  towns !"  cried  Buttons, 
in  a  rage. 

"Certainly,  Signore,  curse  them  if  you  desire." 

"Where  can  we  get  this  one  repaired  then  ?" 

"At  Civita  Castellana,  I  hope." 

' '  Back  there !     What,  go  back  ! " 

"I  am  not  to  blame,"  said  Pietro,  with  res 
ignation. 

"  We  must  not  go  back.     We  shall  not." 

"If  we  go  forward  every  mile  will  make  it 
worse.  And  how  can  we  move  with  this  load 
and  this  broken  wheel  up  that  hill  ?" 

That  was  indeed  a  difficulty.  The  time  that 
had  elapsed  since  the  lamentable  break-down 
had  been  sufficient  to  bring  upon  the  scene  an 
inconceivable  crowd.  After  satisfying  their 
curiosity  they  betook  themselves  to  business. 

Ragged,  dirty,  evil -faced,  wicked -eyed, 
slouching,  whining,  impudent — seventeen  wom- 


TRAVELLING  IN   ITALY. 


90 


THE  DODGE  CLUB  ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


en,  twenty-nine    small    boys,  and    thirty-one 
men,  without  counting  curs  and  goats. 

"  Signo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o !  in  the  name  of 
the  Ever  Blessed,  and  for  the  love  of  Heaven." 
"  Go  to  thunder."  "For  the  love  of."  "  We 
have  nothing,  nothing,  NOTHING  !  Do  you  hear?" 
"Of  the  Virgin."  "Away!  Be  off."  "Give 
me."  "Go  to  blazes!"  "Me  miserable." 
"Will  you  be  off?"  "Infirm,  blind,  and." 
"I'll  break  your  skull!"  "Altogether  des 
perate."  "If  you  torment  us  any  more,  I'll." 
"Only  the  smallest  charity."  "Smash  your 
abominable  bottle-nose!"  "Oh,  generous  no 
bles!"  "Don't  press  me,  you  filthy."  "Il 
lustrious  cavaliers  !"  "Take  that!  and  if  you 
say  any  more  I'll  kick  you  harder."  "  I  kneel 
before  you,  oppressed,  wretched,  starving.  Let 
these  tears."  "I'll  make  you  shed  more  of 
them  if  you  don't  clear  out."  "N-n-n-  Sig- 
no-o-o-o-o!"  "Away!"  "Behold  a  wretch 
ed  villager  from  the  far  distant  Ticino !"  "  You 
be  hanged !  Keep  off ! "  "  Oh,  Signo-o-o-o-o ! 
Oh  per  1'amor  di  Dio!  Carita!  Carita-a-a-a 
— solamente  un  mezzo  baroccho — oh,  Signo-o-o ! 
— datemi." 

"  Pietro !  Pietro!  for  Heaven's  sake  get  us 
out  of  this  at  once.  Anywhere  —  anywhere, 
so  that  we  can  escape  from  these  infernal  vaga 
bonds  !" 

The  result  was,  that  Pietro  turned  his  car 
riage  round.  By  piling  the  baggage  well  behind, 
and  watching  the  fore-axle  carefully,  he  con-  | 
trived  to  move  the  vehicle  along.  Behind  them 
followed  the  pertinacious  beggars,  filling  the  air 
with  prayers,  groans,  sighs,  cries,  tears,  lamen 
tations,  appeals,  wailings,  and  entreaties.  Thus 
situated  they  made  their  entry  into  Civita  Cas- 
tellana. 

Others  might  have  felt  flattered  at  the  recep 
tion  that  awaited  them.  They  only  felt  an 
noyed.  The  entire  city  turned  out.  The  main 
street  up  which  they  passed  was  quite  full. 
The  side-streets  showed  people  hurrying  up  to 
the  principal  thoroughfare.  They  were  the 
centre  of  all  eyes.  Through  the  windows  of 
the  cafe'  the  round  eyes  of  the  citizens  were  vis 
ible  on  the  broad  stare.  Even  the  dogs  and 
cats  had  a  general  turn  out. 

Nor  could  they  seek  relief  in  the  seclusion 
of  the  hotel.  The  anxiety  which  all  felt  to  re 
sume  their  journey  did  not  allow  them  to  rest. 
They  at  once  explored  the  entire  city. 

Was  there  a  carriage-maker  in  the  place  ? 
A  half-hour's  search  showed  them  that  there 
was  not  one.  The  next  thing  then  was  to  try 
and  find  a  wheel.  About  this  they  felt  a  little 
hopeful.  Strange,  indeed,  if  so  common  a  thing 
as  this  could  not  be  obtained. 

Yet  strange  as  this  might  be  it  was  even  so. 
No  wheel  was  forthcoming.  They  could  not  | 
find  a  carriage  even.  There  was  nothing  but 
two  ancient  caleches,  whose  wheels  were  not 
only  rickety  but  utterly  disproportioned  to  the 
size  of  the  vettura,  and  any  quantity  of  bullock 
carts,  which  moved  on  contrivances  that  could 
scarcely  be  called  wheels  at  all.  I 


Three  hours  were  consumed  in  the  tedious 
search.  The  entire  body  of  the  inhabitants  be 
came  soon  aware  of  the  object  of  their  desires, 
and  showed  how  truly  sympathetic  is  the  Ital 
ian  nature,  by  accompanying  them  wherever 
they  went,  and  making  observations  that  were 
more  sprightly  than  agreeable.* 

At  first  the  Club  kept  together,  and  made 
their  search  accompanied  by  Pietro;  but  after 
a  time  the  crowd  became  so  immense  that  they 
separated,  and  continued  their  search  singly. 
This  produced  but  slight  improvement.  The 
crowd  followed  their  example.  A  large  num 
ber  followed  the  Senator :  walking  when  he 
walked ;  stopping  when  he  stopped ;  turning 
when  he  turned ;  strolling  when  he  strolled  ; 
peering  when  he  peered ;  commenting  when  he 
spoke,  and  making  themselves  generally  very 
agreeable  and  delightful. 

At  every  corner  the  tall  form  of  the  Senator 
might  be  seen  as  he  walked  swiftly  with  the 
long  procession  following  like  a  tail  of  a  com 
et  ;  or  as  he  stopped  at  times  to  look  around  in 
despair,  when 

"  He  above  the  rest 
In  shape  and  gesture  proudly  eminent 
Stood  like  a  tower.     Ilia  form  had  not  yet  lost 
All  its  original  brightness ;" 

although,  to  tell  the  truth,  his  clothes  had,  and 
the  traces  of  mud  and  dust  somewhat  dimmed 
the  former  lustre  of  his  garments. 

The  appalling  truth  at  last  forced  itself  upon 
them  that  Civita  Castellana  could  not  furnish 
them  either  with  a  new  wheel  or  a  blacksmith 
who  could  repair  the  broken  one.  Whether  the 
entire  mechanical  force  of  the  town  had  gone 
off  to  the  wars  or  not  they  did  not  stop  to  in 
quire.  They  believed  that  the  citizens  had 
combined  to  disappoint  them,  in  hopes  that 
their  detention  might  bring  in  a  little  ready 
money  and  start  it  in  circulation  around  the 
community. 

It  was  at  last  seen  that  the  only  way  to  do 
was  to  send  Pietro  back  to  Home.  To  delay 
any  longer  would  be  only  a  waste  of  time. 
Slowly  and  sadly  they  took  up  their  quarters  at 
the  hotel.  Dick  decided  to  go  back  so  as  to 
hasten  Pietro,  who  might  otherwise  loiter  on 
the  way.  So  the  dilapidated  carriage  had  to 
set  out  on  its  journey  backward. 

Forced  to  endure  the  horrors  of  detention  in 
one  of  the  dullest  of  Italian  towns,  their  situa 
tion  was  deplorable.  Mr.  Figgs  was  least  un 
happy,  for  he  took  to  his  bed  and  slept  through 
the  entire  period,  with  the  exception  of  certain 
intervals  which  he  devoted  to  meals.  The  Doc 
tor  sat  quietly  by  an  upper  window  playing 
the  devil's  tattoo  on  the  ledge  with  inexhausti 
ble  patience. 

The  Senator  strolled  through  the  town.  He 
found  much  to  interest  him.  His  busy  brain 
was  filled  with  schemes  for  the  improvement 
of  the  town . 

How  town  lots  could  be  made  valuable  ;  how 
strangers  could  be  attracted ;  how  manufact 
ures  could  be  promoted ;  how  hotels  started  ; 


THE  DODGE  CLUB  ;  OK,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


91 


TUB  BENAl'OK'tS  ESCOBT. 

how  shops  supported ;  how  trade  increased ; 
how  the  whole  surrounding  population  enriched, 
especially  by  the  factories. 

"Why,  among  these  here  hills,"  said  he, 
confidentially,  to  Buttons — "among  these  very 
hills  there  is  water-power  and  excellent  location 
for,  say — Silk-weaving  mills,  Fulling  ditto,  Grist 
ditto,  Carding  ditto,  Sawing  ditto,  Plaster- 
crushing  ditto,  Planing  ditto. — Now  I  would 
locate  a  cotton-mill  over  there." 

"Where  would  you  get  your  cotton?"  mum 
bled  Buttons. 

"  Where  ?"  repeated  the  Senator.  "  Grow  it 
on  the  Campagna,  of  course." 

Buttons  passed  the  time  in  a  fever  of  im 
patience. 

For  far  ahead  the  Spaniards  were  flying  fur 
ther  and  further  away,  no  doubt  wondering  at 
every  stage  why  he  did  not  join  them. 


CHAPTER   XXXIX. 

TRIUMPHANT  PROGRESS  OF  DICK.  —  GENDARMES 
FOILED. — THE  DODGE  CLUB  IS  ATTACKED  BY 
BRIGANDS,  AND  EVERY  MAN  OF  IT  COVERS  HIM 
SELF  WITH  GLORY.  —  SCREAM  OF  THE  AMERI 
CAN  EAGLE ! 

IT  was  late  on  the  evening  of  the  following 
day  before  Dick  made  his  appearance  with 
Pietro.  Another  vettura  had  been  obtained, 
and  with  cracks  of  a  long  whip  that  resounded 
through  the  whole  town,  summoning  the  citi 
zens  to  the  streets;  with  thunder  of  wheels 
over  the  pavemeiits ;  with  prancing  and  snort 


ing  of  horses ;  Pietro  drove  up  to  the  hotel. 
Most  conspicuous  in  the  turn-out  was  Dick,  who 
was  seated  in  the  coupe',  waving  his  hat  triumph 
antly  in  the  air. 

The  appearance  of  the  carriage  was  the  sig 
nal  for  three  hearty  cheers,  which  burst  involun 
tarily  from  the  three  Americans  on  the  court 
yard,  rousing  Mr.  Figgs  from  sleep  and  the 
inn-keeper  from  his  usual  lethargy.  One  look 
at  the  horses  was  enough  to  show  that  there 
was  no  chance  of  proceeding  further  that  day. 
The  poor  beasts  were  covered  with  foam,  and 
trembled  excessively.  However,  they  all  felt 
infinite  relief  at  the  prospect  of  getting  away, 
even  though  they  would  have  to  wait  till  the 
following  morning. 

Dick  was  dragged  to  the  dining-room  by  his 
eager  friends  and  fiercely  interrogated.  He  had 
not  much  to  tell. 

The  journey  to  Home  had  been  made  with 
out  any  difficulty,  the  carriage  having  tumbled 
forward  on  its  front  axle  not  more  than  one 
hundred  and  fifty-seven  times.  True,  when  it 
reached  Rome  it  was  a  perfect  wreck,  the  frame 
work  being  completely  wrenched  to  pieces ;  and 
the  proprietor  was  bitterly  enraged  with  Pietro 
for  not  leaving  the  carriage  at  Civita  Castellana, 
and  returning  on  horseback  for  a  wheel ;  but 
Dick  interceded  for  the  poor  devil  of  a  driver, 
and  the  proprietor  kindly  consented  to  deduct 
the  value  of  the  coach  from  his  wages  piece 
meal. 

Their  journey  back  was  quick  but  uninterest 
ing.  Dick  acknowledged  that  he  had  a  faint 
idea  of  staying  in  Rome,  but  saw  a  friend  who 
'  advised  him  not  to.  He  had  taken  the  reins 
:  and  driven  for  a  great  part  of  the  way,  while 
,  Pietro  had  gone  inside  and  slumbered  the  sleep 
of  the  just. 

As  it  was  a  lonely  country,  with  few  inhabit 
ants,  he  had  beguiled  the  tedious  hours  of  the 
journey  by  blowing  patriotic  airs  on  an  enor 
mous  trombone,  purchased  by  him  from  a  mis 
cellaneous  dealer  in  Rome.  The  result  had 
been  in  the  highest  degree  pleasing  to  himself, 
though  perhaps  a  little  surprising  to  others. 
No  one,  however,  interfered  with  him  except 
a  party  of  gendarmes  who  attempted  to  stop 
him.  They  thought  that  he  was  a  Garibaldi- 
no  trying  to  rouse  the  country.  The  trom 
bone  might  have  been  the  cause  of  that  suspi 
cion. 

Fortunately  the  gendarmes,  though  armed  to 
the  teeth,  were  not  mounted,  and  so  it  was  that, 
when  they  attempted  to  arrest  Dick,  that  young 
man  lashed  his  horses  to  fury,  and,  loosening 
the  reins  at  the  same  moment,  burst  through 
the  line,  and  before  they  knew  what  he  was 
about  he  was  away. 

They  fired  a  volley.  The  echoes  died  away, 
mingled  with  gendarmerian  curses.  The  only 
harm  done  was  a  hole  made  by  a  bullet  through 
the  coach.  The  only  apparent  effect  was  the 
waking  of  Pietro.  That  worthy,  suddenly 
roused  from  slumber,  jumped  up  to  hear  the 
last  sounds  of  the  rifles,  to  see  the  hole  made 


92 


THE  DODGE  CLUB  ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


DICK   IX   1118    GLOKY. 


by  the  bullet,  the  fading  forms  of  the  frantic 
efficials,  and  the  nimble  figure  of  the  gallant 
driver,  who  stood  upright  upon  the  seat  waving 
his  hat  over  his  head,  while  the  horses  dashed 
on  at  a  furious  gallop.  . 

This  was  all.  Nothing  more  occurred,  for 
Pietro  drove  the  remainder  of  the  way,  and 
Dick's  trombone  was  tabooed. 

On  the  following  morning  the  welcome  de 
parture  was  made.  To  their  inexpressible  joy 
they  found  that  the  coach  was  this  time  a  strong 
one,  and  no  ordinary  event  of  travel  could  de 
lay  them.  They  had  lost  two  days,  however, 
and  that  was  no  trifle.  They  now  entered  upon 
the  second  stage,  and  passed  on  without  diffi 
culty. 

In  fact,  they  didn't  meet  with  a  single  inci 
dent  worth  mentioning  till  they  came  to  Peru 
gia.  Perugia  is  one  of  the  finest  places  in  Ita 
ly,  and  really  did  not  deserve  to  be  overhauled 
so  terrifically  by  the  Papal  troops.  Every  body 
remembers  that  affair.  At  the  time  when  the 
Dodge  Club  arrived  at  this  city  they  found  the 
Papal  party  in  the  middle  of  a  reaction.  They 
actually  began  to  fear  that  they  had  gone  a  lit 
tle  too  far.  They  were  making  friendly  over 
tures  to  the  outraged  citizens.  But  the  latter 
were  implacable,  stiff! 

What  rankled  most  deeply  was  the  madden 
ing  fact  that  these  Swiss,  who  were  made  the 
ministers  of  vengeance,  were  part  of  that  ac 
cursed,  detested,  hated,  shunned,  despised,  ab 
horred,  loathed,  execrated,  contemptible,  stu 
pid,  thick-headed,  brutal,  gross,  cruel,  bestial, 
demoniacal,  fiendish,  and  utterly  abominable 
race — I  Tedeschi — whose  very  name,  when  hiss 
ed  from  an  Italian  mouth,  expresses  unuttera 
ble  scorn  and  undying  hate. 

They  left  Perugia  at  early  dawn.  Jogging 
on  easily  over  the  hills,  they  were  calculating 
the  time  when  they  would  reach  Florence. 

In  the  disturbed  state  of  Italy  at  this  time, 
resulting  from  war  and  political  excitement, 
and  general  expectation  of  universal  change, 
the  country  was  filled  with  disorder,  and  scoun 


drels  infested  the  roads,  particularly  in  the  Pa 
pal  territories.  Here  the  Government,  finding 
sufficient  employment  for  all  its  energies  in  tak 
ing  care  of  itself,  could  scarcely  be  expected  to 
take  care  either  of  its  own  subjects  or  the  trav 
eller  through  its  dominions.  The  Americans 
had  heard  several  stories  about  brigands,  but 
had  given  themselves  no  trouble  whatever  about 
them. 

Now  it  came  to  pass  that  about  five  miles 
from  Perugia  they  wound  round  a  very  thickly- 
wooded  mountain,  which  ascended  on  the  left 
far  above,  and  on  the  right  descended  quite  ab 
ruptly  into  a  gorge.  Dick  was  outside ;  the 
others  inside.  Suddenly  a  loud  shout,  and  a 
scream  from  Pietro.  The  carriage  stopped. 

The  inside  passengers  could  see  the  horses 
rearing  and  plunging,  and  Dick,  snatching  whip 
and  reins  from  Pietro,  lashing  them  with  all 
his  might.  In  a  moment  all  inside  was  in  an 
uproar. 

"  We  are  attacked !"  cried  Buttons. 

"The  devil!"  cried  the  Senator,  who,  in  his 
sudden  excitement,  used  the  first  and  only  pro 
fane  expression  which  his  friends  ever  heard 
him  utter. 

Out  came  the  Doctor's  revolver. 

Bang!  bang!  went  two  rifles  outside,  and  a 
loud  voice  called  on  them  to  surrender. 

" Andate  al  Diavolo!"  pealed  out  Dick's 
voice  as  loud  as  a  trumpet.  His  blows  fell 
fast  and  furiously  on  the  horses.  Maddened 
by  pain,  the  animals  bounded  forward  fp'r  a  few 
rods,  and  then  swerving  from  the  road-side, 
dashed  against  the  precipitous  hill,  where  the 
coach  stuck,  the  horses  rearing. 

Through  the  doors  which  they  had  flung 
open  in  order  to  jump  out  the  occupants  of  the 
carriage  saw  the  reeling  figures  of  armed  men 
overthrown  and  cursing.  In  a  moment  they 
all  were  out. 

Bang!  and  then — 

Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-bang  !  went  half  a  dozen  ri 
fles. 

Thank  Heaven!    not   one   of  the  Club  was 


THE  DODGE  CLUB  ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


93 


struck.     There  were  twenty  scoundrels  armed 
to  the  teeth. 

The  Doctor  was  as  stiff  as  a  rock.  He  aimed 
six  times  as  calmly  as  though  he  were  in  a  pistol- 
gallery.  Nerve  told.  Six  explosions  roared. 
Six  yells  followed.  Six  men  reeled. 

"  I'd  give  ten  years  of  my  life  for  such  a  pis 
tol  !"  cried  Buttons. 

The  Italians  were  staggered.  Dick  had  a 
bowie-knife.  The  Senator  grasped  a  ponder 
ous  beam  that  he  had  placed  on  the  coach  in 
case  of  another  break-down.  Mr.  Figgs  had  a 
razor  which  he  had  grabbed  from  the  store 
house  in  the  Doctor's  pocket.  Buttons  had 
nothing.  But  on  the  road  lay  three  Italians 
writhing. 

"Hurrah!"  cried  Buttons.  "Load  again, 
Doctor.  Come  ;  let's. make  a  rush  and  get  the 
guns  of  these  devils  on  the  road." 

He  rushed  forward.  The  others  all  at  his 
side.  The  Italians  stood  paralyzed  at  the  effect 
of  the  revolver.  As  Buttons  led  the  charge 
they  fell  back  a  few  paces. 

"Hurrah!  hurrah!  hurrah!"  burst  from 
Buttons,  the  Senator,  and  Dick,  as  each  snatch 
ed  a  rifle  from  the  prostrate  bandits,  and  has 
tily  tore  the  cartridge-boxes  from  them. 

"Load  up!  load  up!  Doctor!"  cried  But 
tons. 

"All  right,"  said  the  Doctor,  who  never 
changed  in  his  cool  self-possession. 

But  now  the  Italians  with  curses  and  screams 
came  back  to  the  attack.  It  is  absolutely  stu 
pefying  to  think  how  few  shots  hit  the  mark  in 
the  excitement  of  a  fight.  Here  were  a  num 
ber  of  men  firing  from  a  distance  of  hardly 
more  than  forty  paces,  and  not  one  took  effect. 

The  next  moment  the  whole  crowd  were 
upon  them.  Buttons  snatched  Mr.  Figgs's  ra 
zor  from  his  grasp  and  used  it  vigorously. 
Dick  plied  his  bowie-knife.  The  Senator  wielded 
a  clubbed  rifle  on  high  as  though  it  were  a 
wand,  and  dealt  the  blows  of  a  giant  upon  the 
heads  of  his  assailants.  All  the  Italians  were 
physically  their  inferiors — small,  puny  men. 
Mr.  Figgs  made  a  wild  dash  at  the  first  man  he 
saw  and  seized  his  rifle.  The  fight  was  spirited. 

The  rascally  brigands  were  nearly  three  times 
as  numerous,  but  the  Americans  surpassed  them 
in  bodily  strength  and  spirit. 

Crash — crash — fell   the    Senator's   rifle,  and 
down  went  two  men.     His  strength  was  enor 
mous — absorbed  as  it  had  been  from  the  gran 
ite  cliffs  of  the  old  Granite  State.     Two  brawny 
"•jws  seized  him  from  behind.     A  thrust  of  his 

>w  laid  one  low.     Buttons  slashed  the  wrist 

;he  other.     A  fellow  threw  himself  on  But- 

.s.     Dick's  bowie-knife  laid  open  his  nrm  and 

gh.     The  next  moment  Dick  went  down  be- 

ath  the  blows  of  several  Italians.     But  But- 

ns   rushed    with    his   razor   to    rescue   Dick. 

hree  men  glared  at  him  with  uplifted  weap- 

ns.     Down  came  the   Senator's  clubbed  rifle 

ike  an  avalanche,  sweeping  their  weapons  over 

iVie  cliff.     They  turned  simultaneously  on  the 

jnator,  and  grasped  him  in  a  threefold  em 


brace.  Buttons's  razor  again  drank  blood.  Two 
turned  upon  him.  Bang !  went  the  Doctor's 
pistol,  sending  one  of  them  shrieking  to  the 
ground.  Bang !  once  more,  and  a  fellow  who 
had  nearly  overpowered  the  breathless  Figgs 
staggered  back.  Dick  was  writhing  on  the 
ground  beneath  the  weight  of  a  dead  man  and 
a  fellow  who  was  trying  to  suffocate  him.  But 
tons  was  being  throttled  by  three  others  who 
held  him  powerless,  his  razor  being  broken. 
A  crack  on  Mr.  Figgs's  head  laid  him  low. 
The  Doctor  stood  off  at  a  little  distance  hastily 
reloading. 

The  Senator  alone  was  free ;  but  six  fierce 
fellows  assailed  him.  It  was  now  as  in  the  old 
Homeric  days,  when  the  heroic  soul,  sustained 
by  iron  nerve  and  mighty  muscle,  came  out  par 
ticularly  strong  in  the  hour  of  conflict. 

The  Senator's  form  towered  up  like  one  of 
his  own  granite  cliffs  in  the  storm — as  rugged, 
as  unconquerable.  His  blood  was  up !  The 
same  blood  it  was  that  coursed  through  the 
veins  of  Cromwell's  grim  old  ^Ironsides,"  and 
afterward  animated  those  sturdy  backwoods 
men  who  had  planted  themselves  in  American 
forests,  and  beaten  back  wild  beasts  and  howl 
ing  savages. 

Buttons,  prostrate  on  the  ground,  looked  up, 
gasping  through  the  smoke  and  dust,  as  he 
struggled  with  his  assailants.  He  saw  the  Sen 
ator,  his  hair  bristling  out  straight,  his  teeth  set, 
his  eye  on  fire,  his  whole  expression  sublimed 
by  the  ardor  of  battle.  His  clothes  were  torn 
to  shreds;  his  coat  was  gone,  his  hat  nowhere, 
his  hands  and  face  were  covered  with  clots  of 
blood  and  streaks  from  mud,  dust,  smoke,  and 
powder. 

The  eye  of  Buttons  took  in  all  this  in  one 
glance.  The  next  instant,  with  a  wide  sweep 
of  his  clubbed  rifle  the  Senator  put  forth  all  his 
gigantic  strength  in  one  tremendous  effort. 
The  shock  was  irresistible.  Down  went  the 
six  bandits  as  though  a  cannon-ball  had  struck 
them.  The  Senator  leaped  away  to  relieve 
Dick,  and  seizing  his  assailant  by  neck  and 
heel,  flung  him  over  the  cliff.  Then  tearing 
away  another  from  Mr.  Figgs's  prostrate  and 
almost  senseless  form,  he  rushed  back  upon 
the  six  men  whom  he  had  just  levelled  to  the 
earth. 

Dick  sprang  to  the  relief  of  Buttons,  who  was 
at  his  last  extremity.  But  the  Doctor  was  be 
fore  him,  as  cool  as  ever.  He  grasped  one  fel 
low  by  the  throat — a  favorite  trick  of  the  Doc 
tor's,  in  which  his  anatomical  knowledge  came 
very  finely  into  play : 

"Off!"  rang  the  Doctor's  voice. 

The  fellow  gasped  a  curse.  The  next  in 
stant  a  roar  burst  through  the  air,  and  the 
wretch  fell  heavily  forward,  shot  through  the 
head,  while  his  brains  were  spattered  over  the 
face  of  Buttons.  The  Doctor  with  a  blow  of 
his  fist  sent  the  other  fellow  reeling  over. 

Buttons  sprang  up  gasping.  The  Italians 
were  falling  back.  He  called  to  the  Senator. 
That  man  of  might  came  up.  Thank  God- 


THE  DODGE  CLUB  ;  OK,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


they  were  all  alive !     Bruised,  and  wounded, 
and  panting — but  alive. 

The  scowling  bandits  drew  off,  leaving  seven 
of  their  number  on  the  road  kors  de  combat. 
Some  of  the  retreating  ones  had  been  badly 
treated,  and  limped  and  staggered.  The  Club 
proceeded  to  load  their  rifles. 

The  Doctor  stepped  forward.  Deliberately 
aiming  he  fired  his  revolver  five  times  in  rapid 
succession.  Before  he  had  time  to  load  again 
the  bandits  had  darted  into  the  woods. 

"Every  one  of  those  bullets  hit,"  said  the 
Doctor  with  unusual  emphasis. 

"We  must  get  under  cover  at  once,"  said 
Dick.  "  They'll  be  back  shortly  with  others !" 

"Then  we  must  fortify  our  position,"  said 
the  Senator,  "  and  wait  for  relief.  As  we  were, 
though,  it  was  lucky  they  tried  a  hand-to-hand 
fight  first.  This  hill  shelters  us  on  one  side. 
There  are  so  many  trees  that  they  can't  roll 
stones  down,  nor  can  they  shoot  us.  We'll  fix 
a  barricade  in  front  with  our  baggage.  We'll 
have  to  fight  behind  a  barricade  this  time ; 
though,  by  the  Eternal !  I  wish  it  were  hand- 
to-hand  again,  for  I  don't  remember  of  ever 
having  had  such  a  glorious  time  in  all  my  born 
days !" 

The  Senator  passed  his  hand  over  his  gory 
brow,  and  walked  to  the  coach. 

"  Where's  Pietro  ?" 

"Pietro!     Pietro!" 

No  answer. 

' '  PI-E-TRO  !" 

Still  no  answer. 

"Pietro!"  cried  Dick,  "if  you  don't  come 
here  I'll  blow  your — " 

"Oh!  is  it  you,  Signori?"  exclaimed  Pie- 
tro's  voice ;  and  that  worthy  appeared  among 
the  trees  a  little  way  up  the  hill.  He  was  dead 
ly  pale,  and  trembled  so  much  that  he  could 
scarcely  speak. 

"  Look  here  !"  cried  Buttons;  "  we  are  go 
ing  to  barricade  ourselves." 

"  Barricade!" 

"We  can  not  carry  our  baggage  away,  and 
we  are  not  going  to  leave  it  behind.  We  ex 
pect  to  have  another  battle." 

Pietro's  face  grew  livid. 

"  You  can  stay  and  help  us  if  you  wish." 

Pietro's  teeth  chattered. 

"  Or  you  can  help  us  far  more  by  running  to 
the  nearest  town  and  letting  the  authorities 
know." 

"  Oh,  Signore,  trust  me  !     I  go." 

"Make  haste,  then,  or  you  may  find  us  all 
murdered,  and  then  how  will  you  get  your  fares 
—eh?" 

"  I  go — I  go  ;    I  will  run  all  the  way  !" 

"Won't  you  take  a  gun  to  defend  yourself 
with?" 

"  Oh  no!"  cried  Pietro,  with  horror.  "No, 
no!" 

In  a  few  minutes  he  had  vanished  among  the 
thick  woods. 

After  stripping  the  prostrate  Italians  the 
travellers  found  themselves  in  possession  of  sev- 


en  rifles,  with  cartridges,  and  some  other  useful 
articles.  Four  of  these  men  were  stone-dead. 
They  pulled  their  bodies  in  front  of  their  place 
of  shelter.  The  wounded  men  they  drew  in 
side,  and  the  Doctor  at  once  attended  to  them, 
while  the  others  were  strengthening  the  barri 
cade. 

"I  don't  like  putting  these  here,"  said  the 
Senator ;  "  but  it'll  likely  frighten  the  brigands, 
or  make  them  delicate  about  firing  at  us.  That's 
my  idee." 

The  horses  were  secured  fast.  Then  the  bag 
gage  was  piled  all  around,  and  made  an  ex 
cellent  barricade.  With  this  and  the  captured 
rifles  they  felt  themselves  able  to  encounter  a 
small  regiment. 

"Now  let  them  come  on,"  cried  the  Senator, 
"just  as  soon  as  they  damn  please  !  We'll  try 
first  the  European  system  of  barricades  ;  and 
if  that  don't  work,  then  we  can  fall  back  on  the 
real  original,  national,  patriotic,  independent, 
manly,  native  American,  true-blue,  and  alto 
gether  heroic  style!" 

"What  is  that?" 

The  Senator  looked  at  the  company,  and 
held  out  his  clenched  fist : 

"Why,  from  behind  a  tree,  in  the  woods, 
like  your  glorious  forefathers !" 


THE  DODGE  CLUB  ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


95 


me  UAEEICADE. 


CHAPTER  XL. 

PLEASANT  MEDITATIONS  ABOUT  THE  WONDERS  OF 
TOBACCO;  AND  THREE  PLEASANT  ANECDOTES 
BY  AN  ITALIAN  BRIGAND. 

A  PULL  apiece  at  the  brandy-flask  restored 
strength  and  freshness  to  the  beleaguered  trav 
ellers,  who  now,  intrenched  behind  their  fortifi 
cations,  awaited  any  attack  which  the  Italians 
might  choose  to  make. 

"The  7-talians,"  said  the  Senator,  "  are  not 
a  powerful  race.  By  no  means.  Feeble  in 
body — no  muscle — no  brawn.  Above  all,  no 
real  pluck.  Buttons,  is  there  a  word  in  their 
language  that  expresses  the  exact  idee  of  pluck?" 

"No." 

"Or  game?" 

"'No'." 

"Or  even  spunk f" 

"No." 

"I  thought  not,"  said  the  Senator,  calmly. 
"They  haven't   the  idee,  and   can't  have   the  I 
word.     Now,  it  would  require  a  rather  consid-  i 
erable   crowd   to  demolish   us   at   the  present 
time." 

"  How  long  will  we  have  to  stay  here  ?" 
asked  Mr.  Figgs  abruptly. 

"My  dear  Sir,"  said  Buttons,  with  more 
sprightliness  than  he  had  shown  for  many  days, 
"be  thankful  that  you  are  here  at  all.  We'll 
get  off  some  time  to-day.  These  fellows  are 
watching  us,  and  the  moment  we  start  they'll 
fire  on  us.  We  would  be  a  good  mark  for  them 
in  the  coach.  No,  we  must  wait  awhile." 

Seated  upon  the  turf,  they  gave  themselves 
up  to  the  pleasing  influence  that  flows  from  the 
G 


pipe.  Is  there  any  thing  equal  to  it?  How 
did  the  ancients  contrive  to  while  away  the 
time  without  it  ?  Had  they  known  its  effects 
how  they  would  have  cherished  it!  We  should 
now  be  gazing  upon  the  ruins  of  venerable  tem 
ples,  reared  by  adoring  votaries  to  the  goddess 
Tabaca.  Boys  at  school  would  have  construed 
passages  about  her.  Lempriere,  Smith,  An- 
thon,  Drissler,  and  others  would  have  done 
honor  to  her.  Classic  mythology  would  have 
been  full  of  her  presence.  Olympian  Jove 
would  have  been  presented  to  us  with  this  di 
vinity  as  his  constant  attendant,  and  a  nimbus 
around  his  immortal  brows  of  her  making.  Bac 
chus  would  have  had  a  rival,  a  superior  ! 

Poets  would  have  told  how  TABACA  went 
over  the  world  girt  in  clouds  that  but  set  off 
the  more  her  splendid  radiance.  We  should 
have  known  how  much  Bacchus  had  to  do  with 
rd  Ba/cjeZa;  a  chapter  which  will  probably  be  a 
lost  one  in  the  History  of  Civilization.  But 
that  he  who  smokes  should  drink  beer  is  quite 
indisputable.  Whether  the  beer  is  to  be  X, 
XX,  XXX ;  or  whether  the  brewer's  name 
should  begin  with  an  A,  as  in  Alsopp,  and  run 
through  the  whole  alphabet,  ending  with  V,  as 
in  Vassar,  may  be  fairly  left  to  individual  con 
sideration. 

What  noble  poetry,  what  spirited  odes,  what 
eloquent  words,  has  not  the  world  lost  by  the 
ignorance  of  Greek  and  Roman  touching  this 
plant? 

The  above  remarks  were  made  by  Dick  on 
this  occasion.  But  Buttons  was  talking  with 
the  wounded  Italians. 


96 


THE  DODGE  CLUB ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


The  Doctor  had  bound  up  their  wounds  and 
Buttons  had  favored  them  with  a  drop  from  his 
flask.  Dick  cut  up  some  tobacco  and  filled  a 
pipe  for  each.  After  all,  the  Italians  were  not 
fiends.  They  had  attacked  them  not  from 
malice,  but  purely  from  professional  motives. 

Yet,  had  their  enemies  been  Tedeschi,  no 
amount  of  attention  would  have  overcome  their 
sullen  hate.  But  being  Americans,  gay,  easy, 
without  malice,  in  fact  kind  and  rather  agreea 
ble,  they  softened,  yielded  altogether,  and  final 
ly  chatted  familiarly  with  Buttons  and  Dick. 
They  were  young,  not  worse  in  appearance 
than  the  majority  of  men, ;  perhaps  not  bad  fel 
lows  in  their  social  relations ;  at  any  rate, 
rather  inclined  to  be  jolly  in  their  present  cir 
cumstances.  They  were  quite  free  in  their  ex 
pressions  of  admiration  for  the  bravery  of  their 
captors,  and  looked  with  awe  upon  the  Doctor's 
revolver,  which  was  the  first  they  had  ever  seen. 

In  fact,  the  younger  prisoner  became  quite 
communicative.  Thus : 

"I  was  born  in  Velletri.  My  age  is  twenty- 
four  years.  I  have  never  shed  blood  except 
three  times.  The  first  time  was  in  Narni — odd 
place,  Narni.  My  employer  was  a  vine-dresser. 
The  season  was  dry ;  the  brush  caught  fire,  I 
don't  know  how,  and  in  five  minutes  a  third  of 
the  vineyard  was  consumed  to  ashes.  My  em 
ployer  came  cursing  and  raving  at  me,  and 
swore  he'd  make  me  work  for  him  till  I  made 
good  the  loss.  Enraged,  I  struck  him.  He 
seized  an  axe.  I  drew  my  stiletto,  and  —  of 
course  I  had  to  run  away. 

"The  second  time  was  in  Naples.  The  affair 
was  brought  about  by  a  woman.  Signore, 
women  are  at  the  bottom  of  most  crimes  that 
men  commit.  I  was  in  love  with  her.  A  friend 
of  mine  fell  in  love  with  her  too.  I  informed 
him  that  if  he  interfered  with  me  I  would  kill 
him.  I  told  her  that  if  she  encouraged  him  I 
would  kill  him  and  her  too.  I  suppose  she  was 
piqued.  Women  will  get  piqued  sometimes. 
At  any  rate  she  gave  him  marked  encourage 
ment.  I  scolded  and  threatened.  No  use. 
She  told  me  she  was  tired  of  me ;  that  I  was 
foo  tyrannical.  In  fact,  she  dared  to  turn  me 
off  and  take  the  other  fellow.  Maffeo  was  a 
good  fellow.  I  was  sorry  for  him,  but  I  had  to 
keep  my  word. 

"  The  third  time  was  only  a  month  ago.  I 
robbed  a  Frenchman,  out  of  pure  patriotism — 
the  French,  you  know,  are  our  oppressors — and 
kept  what  I  found  about  him  to  reward  me  for 
my  gallant  act.  The  Government,  however, 
did  not  look  upon  it  in  a  proper  light.  They 
sent  out  a  detachment  to  arrest  me.  I  was 
caught,  and  by  good  fortune  brought  to  an  inn. 
At  night  I  was  bound  tightly  and  shut  up  in 
the  same  room  with  the  soldiers.  The  inn 
keeper's  daughter,  a  friend  of  mine,  came  in 
for  something,  and  by  mere  chance  dropped  a 
knife  behind  me.  I  got  it,  cut  my  cords,  and 
when  they  were  all  asleep  I  departed.  Before 
going  I  left  the  knife  behind;  and  where  now, 
Signore,  do  you  think  I  left  it?" 


"  I  have  no  idea." 

"  You  would  never  guess.     You  never  would 
have  thought  of  it  yourself." 
"  Where  did  you  leave  it  ?" 
"In  the  heart  of  the  Captain." 


CHAPTER  XLI. 

FINAL  ATTACK  OF  REINFORCEMENTS  OF  BRIGANDS. 
— THE  DODGE  CLUB  DEFIES  THEM  AND  REPELS 
THEM. — HOW  TO  MAKE  A  BARRICADE.  —  FRA- 
TERNIZATION  OF  AMERICAN  EAGLE  AND  GALLIC 
.COCK. — THERE'S  NOTHING  LIKE  LEATHER. 

"  IT  is  certainly  a  singular  position  for  an 
American  citizen  to  be  placed  in,"  said  the 
Senator.  "To  come  from  a  cotton-mill  to 
such  a  regular  out-and-out  piece  of  fighting  as 
this.  Yet  it  seems  to  me  that  fighting  comes 
natural  to  the  American  blood." 

"They've  been  very  quiet  for  ever  so  long," 
said  Mr.  Figgs  ;  "perhaps  they've  gone  away." 

"  I  don't  believe  they  have,  for  two  reasons. 

The  first   is,  they  are   robbers,  and   want   our 

money ;    the    second,  they    are    Italians,  and 

want  revenge.     They  won't  let  us  off  so  easily 

!  after  the  drubbing  we  gave  them." 

Thus  Buttons,  and  the  others  rather  coin- 
|  cided  in  his  opinion.  For  several  miles  further 
on  the  road  ran  through  a  dangerous  place, 
where  men  might  lurk  in  ambush,  and  pick 
them  off  like  so  many  snipe.  They  rather  en 
joyed  a  good  fight,  but  did  not  care  about  be 
ing  regularly  shot  down.  So  they  waited. 

It  was  three  in  the  afternoon.  Fearfully 
hot,  too,  but  not  so  bad  as  it  might  have  been. 
High  trees  sheltered  them.  They  could  rumi 
nate  under  the  shade.  The  only  difficulty  was 
the  want  of  food.  What  can  a  garrison  do  that 
is  ill  provided  with  eatables  ?  The  Doctor's 
little  store  of  crackers  and  cheese  was  divided 
and  eaten.  A  basket  of  figs  and  oranges  fol 
lowed.  Still  they  were  hungry. 

"Well,"'  said  Dick,  "there's  one  thing  we 
can  do  if  the  worst  comes  to  the  worst." 

"What's  that?'' 

"Go  through  the  forest  in  Indian  filejback 
to  Perugia." 

"That's  all  very  well,"  said  the  Senator, 
stubbornly,  "  but  we're  not  going  back.  No, 
Sir,  not  a  step !" 

"  I'm  tired  of  this,"  said  Buttons,  impatiently. 
"I'll  go  out  as  scout." 

"I'll  go  too,"  said  Dick. 

"Don't  go  far,  boys,"  said  the  Senator,  in 
the  tone  of  an  anxious  father. 

"No,  not  very.  That  hill  yonder  will  be  a 
good  lookout  place." 

"Yes,  if  you  are  not  seen  yourselves." 

"  We'll  risk  that.  If  we  see  any  signs  of 
these  scoundrels,  and  find  that  they  see  us,  we 
will  fire  to  let  you  know.  If  we  remain  undis 
covered  we  will  come  back  quietly." 

"  Very  well.  But  I  don't  like  to  let  you  go 
off  alone,  my  boys ;  it's  too  much  of  an  exposure." 

"Nonsense." 


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"  I  have  a  great  mind  to  go  too." 

"No,  no,  you  had  better  stay  to  hold  our 
place  of  retreat.  We'll  come  back,  you  know." 

"  Very  well,  then." 

The  Senator  sat  himself  down  again,  and 
Buttons  and  Dick  vanished  among  the  trees. 
An  hour  passed ;  the  three  in  the  barricade  be 
gan  to  feel  uneasy;  the  prisoners  were  asleep 
a:id  snoring. 

"Hang  it,"  cried  the  Senator,  "  I  wish  I  had 
gone  with  them !" 

"Never  fear,"  said  the  Doctor,  "^hey  are 
too  nimble  to  be  caught  just  yet.  If  they  had 
been  caught  you'd  have  heard  a  little  firing." 

At  that  very  moment  the  loud  report  of  a 
rifle  burst  through  the  air,  followed  by  a  sec 
ond  ;  upon  which  a  whole  volley  poured  out. 
The  three  started  to  their  feet. 

"  They  are  found !"  cried  the  Senator.  "  It's 
about  a  mile  away.  Be  ready  !" 

Mr.  Figgs  had  two  rifles  by  his  side,  and  sat 
looking  at  the  distance  with  knitted  brows, 
lie  had  received  some  terrific  bruises  in  the 
late  melee,  but  was  prepared  to  fight  till  he 
died.  He  had  said  but  little  through  the  day. 
He  was  not  talkative.  His  courage  was  of  a 
quiet  order.  He  felt  the  solemnity  of  the  oc 
casion.  It  was  a  little  different  from  sitting  at 
the  head  of  a  Board  of  bank  directors,  or  shav 
ing  notes  in  a  private  office.  At  the  end  of 
about  ten  minutes  there  was  a  crackling  among 
the  bushes.  Buttons  and  Dick  came  tumbling 
down  into  the  road. 

"  Get  ready  !     Quick!     They're  here !" 

"  All  readv." 

"All  loaded?" 

"Yes." 

"  We  saw  them  away  down  the  road,  behind 
a  grove  of  trees.  We  couldn't  resist,  and  so 
fired  at  them.  The  whole  band  leaped  up 
raving,  and  saw  us,  and  fired.  They  then  set ; 
off  up  the  road  to  this  place,  thinking  that  we 
are  divided.  They're  only  a  few  rods  away." 

"  How  many  are  there  of  them  ?" 

"Fourteen." 

"  They  must  have  got  some  more.  There 
were  only  ten  able-bodied,  unwounded  men 
when  they  left." 

"Less."  said  the  Doctor  ;   "  my  pistol — " 

"  H'st !" 

At  this  moment  they  heard  the  noise  of  foot 
steps.  A  band  of  armed  men  came  in  sight. 
Halting  cautiously,  they  examined  the  barri 
cade.  Bang !  It  was  the  Doctor's  revolver. 
Down  went  one  fellow,  yelling.  The  rest  were 
frantic.  Like  fools,  they  made  a  rush  at  the 
barricade. 

Bang  !  a  second  shot,  another  wounded.  A 
volley  was  the  answer.  Like  fools,  the  brigands 
fired  against  the  barricade.  No  damage  was 
clone.  The  barricade  was  too  strong. 
.  The  answer  to  this  was  a  withering  volley 
from  the  Americans.  The  bandits  reeled,  stag 
gered,  fell  back,  shrieking,  groaning,  and  curs 
ing.  Two  men  lay  dead  on  the  road.  The 
others  took  refuge  in  the  woods. 


For  two  hours  an  incessant  fire  was  kept  np 
between  the  bandits  in  the  woods  and  the 
Americans  in  their  retreat.  No  damage  was 
done  on  either  side. 

"Those  fellows  try  so  hard  they  almost  de 
serve  to  lick  us,"  said  the  Senator  dryly. 

Suddenly  there  came  from  afar  the  piercing 
blast  of  a  trumpet. 

"  Hark  !"  cried  Buttons. 

Again. 

A  cavalry  trumpet ! 

"They  are  horsemen  !"  cried  Dick,  who  was 
holding  his  ear  to  the  ground ;  and  then  added : 
""Iinruv  fi'  uKVTtoduv  Q[tf>l  urinrof  ovara  /3dA/l«." 

"  Hey  ?"  cried  the  Senator ;  "  water  barley  ?'' 

Again  the  sound.  A  dead  silence.  All  list 
ening. 

And  now  the  tramp  of  horses  was  plainly 
heard.  The  firing  had  ceased  altogether  since 
the  first  blast  of  the  trumpet.  The  bandits  dis 
appeared.  The  horsemen  drew  nearer,  and 
were  evidently  quite  numerous.  At  last  they 
burst  upon  the  scene,  and  the  little  garrison 
greeted  them  with  a  wild  hurrah.  They  were 
French  dragoons,  about  thirty  in  number. 
Prominent  among  them  was  Pietro,  who  at 
first  stared  wildly  around,  and  then,  seeing  the 
Americans,  gave  a  cry  of  joy. 

The  travellers  now  came  out  into  the  road, 
and  quick  and  hurried  greetings  were  inter 
changed.  The  commander  of  the  troop,  learn 
ing  that  the  bandits  had  just  left,  sent  off  two- 
thirds  of  his  men  in  pursuit,  and  remained  with 
the  rest  behind. 

Pietro  had  a  long  story  to  tell  of  his  own  do 
ings.  He  had  wandered  through  the  forest  till 
he  came  to  Perugia.  The  commandant  there 
listened  to  his  story,  but  declined  sending  any 
of  his  men  to  the  assistance  of  the  travellers. 
Pietro  was  in  despair.  Fortunately  a  small 
detachment  of  French  cavalry  had  just  arrived 
at  Perugia  on  their  way  to  Rome,  and  the  cap 
tain  was  more  merciful.  The  gallant  fellow  at 
once  set  out,  and,  led  by  Pietro,  arrived  at  the 
place  most  opportunely. 

It  did  not  take  long  to  get  the  coach  ready 
again.  One  horse  was  found  to  be  so  badly 
wounded  that  it  had  to  be  killed.  The  others 
were  slightly  hurt.  The  baggage  and  trunks 
were  riddled  with  bullets.  These  were  once 
more  piled  up,  the  wounded  prisoners  placed 
inside,  and  the  travellers,  not  being  able  to  get 
in  all  together,  took  turns  in  walking. 

At  the  next  town  the  prisoners  were  deliv 
ered  up  to  the  authorities.  The  travellers  cel 
ebrated  their  victory  by  a  grand  banquet,  to 
which  they  invited  the  French  officer  and  the 
soldiers,  who  came  on  with  them  to  this  town. 
Uproar  prevailed.  The  Frenchmen  were  ex 
uberant  in  compliments  to  the  gallantry  of  their 
entertainers.  Toasts  followed. 

"The  Emperor  and  President!" 

"  America  and  France  !" 

"  Tricolor  and  stars !" 

"The  two  countries  intertwined  !" 

"A  song,  Dick  !"  cried  the  Senator,  who  al- 


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AN   INTERNATIONAL  AFFAIR. 


ways  liked  to  hear  Dick  sing.     Dick  looked 
modest. 

"Strike  up!" 
"What?" 

"  The  '  Scoodoo  abscook !'  "  cried  Mr  Figgs. 
"No ;   « The  Old  Cow  !'  "  cried  Buttons. 
"'The  Pig  by  the  Banks  of  the  River!'" 
said  the  Doctor. 

"  Dick,  don't,"  said  the  Senator.  "  I'll  tell 
you  an  appropriate  song.  These  Frenchmen 
believe  in  France.  We  believe  in  America. 
Each  one  thinks  there  is  nothing  like  Leather. 
Sing  '  Leather,'  then." 
FIGGS.  •) 

BUTTONS.          C  "  Yes,  '  Leather !' " 
THE  DOCTOR.  ) 

"  Then  let  it  be  '  Leather,'  "  said  Dick  ;  and 
he  struck  up  the  following  (which  may  not  be 
obtained  of  any  of  the  music  publishers),  to  a 
very  peculiar  tune : 

I. 

"  Mercury !  Patron  of  melody, 
Father  of  Music  and  Lord, 
Thine  was  the  skill  that  invented 

Music's  harmonious  chord. 
Sweet  were  the  sounds  that  arose, 
Sweetly  they  blended  together ; 
Thus",  in  the  «ges  of  old, 
Music  arose  out  of— LEATUER! 

[Full  Chorus  by  all  the  Company.'] 

u  Then  Leather !  sing  Leather !  my  Inds  I 

Mercury!  Music!!  and  Leather!  !1 
Of  all  the  things  under  the  fun, 

Hurrah  1  there  is  nothing  like  Leather  ! 

[Extra  Chorus,  descriptive  of  a  Cobbler  hammering  on 
his  Laptttone.] 

"  Then  Rub  a  dub,  dub! 
IMib  a  dub,  dub! ! 
Eub  a  dub,  dub '.  ! !  say  we ! 


II. 


"War  is  a  wonderful  science, 

Mars  was  its  patron,  I'm  told , 
How  did  he  used  to  accoutre 

Armies  in  battles  of  old  ? 
With  ca.=que,  and  with  sling,  and  with  shield, 

With  bow-string  and  breastplate  together ; 
Tim?,  in  the  ages  of  old, 

War  was  begun  out  of — LEATHER  ! 

[Chorus.] 

"  Then  Leather!  sing  Leather,  my  lads! 

Mars  and  his  weapons  of  Leather ! 
Of  all  the  things  under  the  sun, 
Hurrah!  there  is  nothing  like  Leather  I 

[Extra  Chorus.] 

"Rub  a  dub,  dub! 
Rub  a  dub,  dub ! ! 
Rub  a  dub,  dub ! ! !  say  we ! 


m. 

"  Love  is  a  pleasing  emotion, 

All  of  us  know  it  by  heart ; 
Whence,  can  you  tell  me,  arises 

Love's  overpowering  smart  ? 
Tipped  with  an  adamant  barb, 

Gracefully  tufted  with  feather, 
Love's  irresistible  dart 

Comes  from  a  quiver  of — LEATHER  I 

[Chorus.] 

"  Then  Leather  !  sing  Leather,  my  lads ! 

Darts!  and  Distraction  ! !  and  Leather! !  1 
Of  all  the  things  under  the  sun, 
Hurrah!  there  is  nothing  like  Leather! 

[Extra  Chorus.] 

"  Rub  a  dub,  dub! 
Rub  a  dub,  dub!  ! 
Rub  a  dub,  dub! ! !  say  we! 


IV. 

1  Orators  wrote  out  their  speeches, 

Poets  their  verses  recited, 
Statesmen  promulgated  edicts, 
Sages  their  maxims  indited. 


THE  DODGE  CLUB;  OK,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


99 


Parchment,  my  lads,  was  the  article 
All  used  to  write  on  together  ; 

Thus  the  Republic  of  Letters 
Sprang  into  life  out  of— LEATHER  . 

[C/ior«s.] 

"  Then  Leather !  eing  Leather,  my  lads ! 

Poetry  !  Science  ! !  and  Leather  1 ! ! 
Of  all  the  things  under  the  sun, 
Hurrah !  there  is  nothing  like  Leather  1 

[Extra  Cham*.] 

"  Rub  a  dub,  dub  ! 
Rub  a  dub,  dub  !1 

Rub  a  dub,  dub ! ! !  say  we !" 


CHAPTER  XLII. 

FLORENCE. — DESPERATION  OF  BUTTONS,  OF  MR. 
FIGGS,  AND  OF  THE  DOCTOR. 

FLORENCE,  THE  FAIR  ! — Certainly  it  is  the 
fairest  of  cities.  Beautiful  for  situation  ;  the 
joy  of  the  whole  earth  !  It  has  a  beauty  that 
grows  upon  the  heart.  The  Arno  is  the  sweet 
est  of  rivers,  its  valley  the  loveliest  of  vales ; 
luxuriant  meadows;  rich  vineyards;  groves  of 
olive,  of  orange,  and  of  chestnut ;  forests  of  cy 
press  ;  long  lines  of  mulberry ;  the  dark  purple 
of  the  distant  Apennines  ;  innumerable  white 
villas  peeping  through  the  surrounding  groves  ; 
the  mysterious  haze  of  the  sunset,  which  throws 
a  softer  charm  over  the  scene ;  the  magnificent 
cattle ;  the  fine  horses ;  the  bewitching  girls, 
with  their  broad  hats  of  Tuscan  straw ;  the 
city  itself,  with  its  gloomy  old  palaces,  iron- 
grated  and  massive  walled,  from  the  ancient 
holds,  of  street-fighting  nobles,  long  since  passed 
away,  to  the  severe  Etruscan  majesty  of  the 
Pitti  Palace  ;  behold  Florence ! 

It  is  the  abode  of  peace,  gentleness,  and  kind 
ly  pleasure  (or  at  any  rate  it  was  so  when  the 
Club  was  there).  Even-  stone  in  its  pavement 
has  a  charm.  Other  cities  may  please ;  Flor 


ence  alone  can  win  enduring  love.  It  is  one 
of  the  very  few  which  a  man  can  select  as  a  per 
manent  home,  and  never  repent  of  his  decision. 
In  fact,  it  is  probably  the  only  city  on  earth 
which  a  stranger  can  live  in  and  make  for  him 
self  a  true  home,  so  pleasant  as  to  make  desire 
for  any  other  simply  impossible. 

In  Florence  there  is  a  large  English  popula 
tion,  drawn  there  by  two  powerful  attractions. 
The  first  is  the  beauty  of  the  place,  with  its 
healthy  climate,  its  unrivalled  collections  of  art, 
and  its  connection  with  the  world  at  large. 
The  second  is  the  astonishing  cheapness  of  liv 
ing,  though,  alas !  this  is  greatly  changed  from 
former  times,  since  Florence  has  become  the 
capital  of  Italy.  Formerly  a  palace  could  be 
rented  for  a  trifle,  troops  of  servants  for  another 
trifle,  and  the  table  could  be  furnished  from 
day  to  day  with  rarities  and  delicacies  innumer 
able  for  another  trifle.  It  is,  therefore,  a  para 
dise  for  the  respectable  poor,  the  needy  men  of 
intelligence,  and  perhaps  it  may  be  added,  for 
the  shabby  genteel.  There  is  a  glorious  con 
gregation  of  dilettante,  literati,  savant/ ;  a  bless 
ed  brotherhood  of  artists  and  authors ;  here 
gather  political  philosophers  of  every  grade. 
It  was  all  this  even  under  the  Grand  Duke  of 
refreshing  memory ;  hereafter  it  will  be  the 
same,  only,  perhaps,  a  little  more  so,  under  the 
new  influences  which  it  shall  acquire  and  exert 
as  the  metropolis  of  a  great  kingdom. 

The  Florentines  are  the  most  polished  people 
under  the  sun.  The  Parisians  claim  this  proud 
pre-eminence,  but  it  can  not  be  maintained. 
Amid  the  brilliancies  of  Parisian  life  there  are 
fearful  memories  of  bloody  revolutions,  brutal 
fights,  and  blood-thirsty  cruelties.  No  such 
events  as  these  mar  the  fair  pages  of  later  Flor 
entine  history.  In  fact,  the  forbearance  and 


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1'ITTI    PALACE. 


gentleness  of  the  people  have  been  perhaps  to 
their  disadvantage.  Life  in  Florence  is  joy. 
The  sensation  of  living  is  of  itself  a  pleasure. 
Life  in  that  delicious  atmosphere  becomes  a 
higher  state  of  being.  It  is  the  proper  home 
for  poets  and  artists.  Those  who  pretend  that 
there  is  any  thing  in  America  equal  to  Flor 
ence,  either  in  climate,  landscape,  or  atmos 
phere,  are  simply  humbugs.  Florence  is  unique. 
It  is  the  only  Athens  of  the  modern  world. 

The  streets  are  cool  and  delightful.     The 
great  high  houses  keep  off  the  rays  of  the  sun. 


The  people  love  to  stroll  away  the  greater  part 
of  their  happy  days.  They  loiter  around  the 
corners  or  under  the  porticoes  gathering  news 
and  retailing  the  same.  Hand-organs  are  gen 
erally  discountenanced.  Happy  city ! 

When  it  is  too  hot  in  the  streets  there  is  the 
vast  cathedral — II  Duomo — dim,  shadowy,  mag 
nificent,  its  gigantic  dome  surpassed  only  by 
that  of  St.  Peter's.  And  yet  in  the  twilight  of 
this  sacred  interior,  where  there  dwells  so  much 
of  the  mysterious  gloom  only  found  in  the  Gothic 
cathedrals  of  the  north,  many  find  greater  de- 


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.    101 


T11E   DDOMO. 


light  than  in  all  the  dazzling 
splendor,  the  pomp,  and  glory, 
and  majesty  of  the  Roman  tem 
ple.  Beside  it  rises  the  Cam 
panile,  as  fair  as  a  dream,  and 
in  appearance  almost  as  un 
substantial.  Not  far  off  is  the 
Baptistery,  with  its  gates  of 
bronze — an  assemblage  of  glory 
which  might  well  suffice  for 
one  city. 

Around  the  piazza  that  in 
closes  these  sacred  buildings 
they  sell  the  best  roasted  chest 
nuts  in  the  world.  Is  it  any 
wonder  that  Florence  is  so  at 
tractive  ?  • 

The  Dodge  Club  obtained 
furnished  apartments  in  a  fine 
large  hotel  that  looked  out  on 
the  Ponte  della  Trinita  and  on 
the  Arno.  Beneath  was  the 
principal  promenade  in  the 
city.  It  was  a  highly  agree 
able  residence. 

No  sooner  had  they  arrived 
than  Buttons  set  out  in  search 
of  the  Spaniards.  Three  days 
had  been  lost  on  the  road.  He 
was  half  afraid  that  those  three 
days  had  lost  him  the  Span 
iards  altogether.  Three  days ! 
It  was  possible  that  they  had 
seen  Florence  in  that  time  and 
had  already  left.  The  thought 
of  this  made  Buttons  feel  ex 
tremely  nervous.  He  spent  the 
first  day  in  looking  over  all  the 


THE    CA-MPASILE. 


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THE  DODGE  CLUB ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


STBOZZI  PALACE. 

hotels  in  the  city.  The  second  in  searching 
through  as  many  of  the  lodging-houses  as  were 
likely  to  be  chosen  by  the  Spaniards.  The  third 
he  spent  in  meandering  disconsolately  through 
the  cafes.  Still  there  were  no  signs  of  them. 
Upon  this  Buttons  fell  into  a  profound  melan 
choly.  In  fact  it  was  a  very  hard  case.  There 
seemed  nothing  left  for  him  to  do.  How  could 
he  find  them  out? 

Dick  noticed  the  disquietude  of  his  friend, 
find  sympathized  with  him  deeply.  So  he  lent 
his  aid  and  searched  through  the  city  as  indus 
triously  as  possible.  Yet  in  spite  of  every  ef 
fort  their  arduous  labors  were  defeated.  So 
Buttons  became  hopeless. 

The  Senator,  however,  had  met  with  friends. 
The  American  Minister  at  Turin  happened  at 
that  time  to  be  in  Florence.  Him  the  Senator 
recollected  as  an  old  acquaintance,  and  also  as 
a  tried  companion  in  arms  through  many  a  po 
litical  campaign.  The  Minister  received  him 
with  the  most  exuberant  delight.  Dinner,  wine, 
feast  of  reason,  flow  of  soul,  interchange  of  latest 
news,  stories  of  recent  adventures  on  both  sides, 
laughter,  compliments,  speculations  on  future 
party  prospects,  made  the  hours  of  an  entire 


afternooih  fly  like  lightning.  The  American  Ea 
gle  was  never  more  convivial. 

The  Minister  would  not  let  him  go.  He 
made  him  put  up  at  his  hotel.  He  had  the 
entree  into  the  highest  Florentine  society.  He 
would  introduce  the  Senator  everywhere.  The 
Senator  would  have  an  opportunity  of  seeing 
Italian  manners  and  customs  such  as  was  very 
rarely  enjoyed.  The  Senator  was  delighted  at 
the  idea. 

But  Mr.  Figgs  and  the  Doctor  began  to  show 
signs  of  weariness.  The  former  walked  with 
Dick  through  the  Boboli  gardens  and  confided 
all  his  soul  to  his  young  friend.  What  was  the 
use  of  an  elderly  man  like  him  putting  himself 
to  so  much  trouble  ?  He  had  seen  enough  of 
Italy.  He  didn't  want  to  see  any  more.  He 
would  much  rather  be  safe  at  home.  Besides, 
the  members  of  the  Club  were  all  going  down 
the  broad  road  that  leadeth  to  ruin.  Buttons 
was  infatuated  about  those  Spaniards.  The 
Doctor  thought  that  he  (Dick)  was  involved  in 
some  mysterious  affair  of  a  similar  nature. 
Lastly,  the  Senator  was  making  a  plunge  into 
society.  It  was  too  much.  The  ride  over  the 
Apennines  to  Bologna  might  be  interesting  for 
two  young  fellows  like  him  and  Buttons,  hut 
was  unfit  for  an  elderly  person.  Moreover,  he 
didn't  care  about  going  to  the  seat  of  war.  He 
had  seen  enough  of  fighting.  In  short,  he  and 
the  Doctor  had  made  up  their  minds  to  go  back 
to  Paris  via  Leghorn  and  Marseilles. 

Dick  remonstrated,  expostulated,  coaxed. 
But  Mr.  Figgs  was  inflexible. 


\ 


BUTTONS  MELANC11OLY. 


THE   DODGE  CLUB ;  OB,  ITALY  IX  MDCCCLIX. 


10°, 


CHAPTER  XLIII. 

THE  SENATOR  ENTRAPPED.  —  THE  WILES  AND 
WITCHERY  OF  A  QUEEN  OF  SOCIETY. — HIS 
FATE  DESTINED  TO  BE,  AS  HE  THINKS,  ITAL 
IAN  COUNTESSES.  —  SENTIMENTAL  CONVERSA 
TION.  —  POETRY.  —  BEAUTY.  —  MOONLIGHT.  — 
RAPTURE. — DISTRACTION. — BLISS  ! 

THE  blandishments  of  Florentine  society 
might  have  led  captive  a  sterner  soul  than  that 
of  the  Senator.  Whether  he  wished  it  or  not, 
he  was  overcome.  His  friend,  the  Minister, 
took  him  to  the  houses  of  the  leaders  of  society, 
and  introduced  him  as  an  eminent  American 
statesman  and  member  of  the  Senate. 

Could  any  recommendation  be  equal  to  that  ? 
For,  be  it  remembered,  it  was  the  Revolutionary 
time.  Republicanism  ran  high.  America  was 
synonymous  with  the  Promised  Land.  To  be  a 
statesman  in  America  was  as  great  a  dignity  as 
to  be  prince  in  any  empire  on  earth.  Besides, 
it  was  infinitely  more  honored,  for  it  was  popu 
lar.  The  eyes  of  the  struggling  people  were 
turned  to  that  country  which  showed  them  an 
example  of  republican  freedom. 

So  if  the  Florentines  received  the  Senator 
with  boundless  hospitality,  it  was  because  they 
admired  his  country,  and  reverenced  his  dignity. 
They  liked  to  consider  the  presence  of  the 
American  Minister  and  Senator  as  an  expres 
sion  of  the  good-will  of  the  American  Govern 
ment.  They  looked  upon  him  diplomatically. 
All  that  he  said  was  listened  to  with  the  deep 
est  respect,  which  was  none  the  less  when  they 
did  not  comprehend  a  word.  His  pithy  sen 
tences,  when  translated  into  Italian,  became  the 
neatest  epigrams  in  the  world.  His  sugges 
tions  as  to  the  best  mode  of  elevating  and  en 
riching  the  country  were  considered  by  one  set 
as  the  profoundest  philosophy,  and  by  another 
as  the  keenest  satire.  They  were  determined 
to  lionize  him.  It  was  a  new  sensation  to  the 
Senator.  He  desired  to  prolong  it.  He  recall 
ed  the  lines  of  the  good  Watts :  * 

"  My  willing  soul  would  gt.iy 
In  such  a  frame  as  this." 

He  thought  of  Dr.  Franklin  in  Paris,  of  his  se 
vere  republicanism  amid  the  aristocratic  influ 
ences  around.  How  like  his  present  situation 
was  to  that  of  the  august  philosopher  ! 

The  marked  attention  which  the  Minister 
paid  to  the  Senator  added  greatly  to  the  impor 
tance  of  the  latter.  The  Florentines  reasoned 
thus :  A  Minister  is  a  great  man.  As  a  gen 
eral  thing  his  travelling  countrymen  pay  respect 
to  him.  What  then  must  be  the  position  of 
that  travelling  fellow-countryman  who  receives 
attention  instead  of  paying  it  ?  What  would 
the  position  of  an  Englishman  need  to  be  in 
order  to  gain  the  attention  of  the  British  Em- 
bassador?  Ducal  at  least.  Hence  there  is 
only  one  conclusion.  An  American  Senator 
ranks  with  an  English  Duke. 

Others  went  beyond  this :  Mark  the  massive 
forehead,  the  severe  eye,  the  cool,  self-possessed 
mien  of  this  American.  The  air  of  one  accus 
tomed  to  rule.  Listen  to  his  philosophic  con- 


|  versation.  One  of  America's  greatest  states 
men.  No  doubt  he  has  a  ceruun  prospect  of 
becoming  President.  President !  It  must  be 
so ;  and  that  accounts  for  the  attention  paid  by 
the  American  Embassador.  He,  of  course, 
wishes  to  be  continued  in  his  office  under  the 
next  administration.  After  all,  the  Florentines 
were  not  so  far  out  of  the  way.  A  much  worse 
man  than  the  Senator  might  be  made  President. 
In  the  chapter  of  accidents  his  name,  or  the 
name  of  one  like  him,  might  carry  the  votes  of 
some  roaring  convention. 

For  two  or  three  days  the  Senator  was  the 
subject  of  an  eager  contest  among  all  the  lead 
ers  of  society.  At  length  there  appeared  upon 
the  scene  the  great  Victrix  in  a  thousand  con 
tests  such  as  these.  The  others  fell  back  dis 
comfited,  and  the  Senator  became  her  prey. 

The  Countess  di  Nottinero  was  not  exactly  a 
Recamier,  but  she  was  a  remarkably  brilliant 
woman,  and  the  acknowledged  leader  of  the 
liberal  part  of  Florentine  society.  Of  course, 
the  haughty  aristocratic  party  held  themselves 
grandly  aloof,  and  knew  nothing  either  of  her 
or  the  society  to  which  she  belonged. 

She  was  generally  known  as  La  Cica,  a  nick 
name  given  by  her  enemies,  though  what  "  Cica  " 
meant  no  one  could  tell  exactly.  It  was  a  sort 
of  contraction  made  up  from  her  Christian  name, 
Cecilia,  as  some  thought ;  others  thought  it  was 
the  Italian  word  cica  given  on  account  of  some 
unknown  incident.  At  any  rate,  as  soon  as 
she  made  her  appearance  driving  down  the 
Lungh'  Arno,  with  the  massive  form  of  the 
Senator  by  her  side,  his  fame  rose  up  to  its 
zenith.  He  became  more  remarked  than  ever, 
and  known  among  all  classes  as  the  illustrious 
American  to  whom  belonged  the  certainty  of 
being  next  President  of  the  United  States. 

Rumor  strengthened  as  it  grew.  Report^ 
were  circulated  which  would  certainly  have 
!  amazed  the  worthy  Senator  if  he  had  heard 
them  all.  It  was  said  that  he  was  the  special 
Plenipotentiary  Extraordinary  sent  by  the  Amer 
ican  Government  as  a  mark  of  their  deep  sym 
pathy  with  the  Italian  movement,  and  that  he 
was  empowered,  at  the  first  appearance  of  a  new 
Government  in  Italy,  to  recognize  it  officially 
as  a  first-class  Power,  and  thus  give  it  the 
mighty  sanction  of  the  United  States. 

What  wonder  that  all  eyes  were  turned  ad- 

j  miringly  toward  him  wherever  he  went.     But 

|  he  was  too  modest  to  notice  it.     He  little  knew 

that  he  was  the  chief  object  of  interest  to  every 

house,  hotel,  and  cafe'  in  the  city.     Yet  it  was 

a  fact. 

His  'companions  lost  sight  of  him  for  some 
time.  They  heard  the  conversation  going  on 
about  the  sayings  of  the  great  American.  They 
did  not  know  at  first  who  it  was  ;  but  at  length 
concluded  that  it  referred  to  the  Minister  from 
Turin. 

La  Cica  did  her  part  marvellously  well.     All 
i  the  dilettanti,  the  artists,  authors,  political  phi- 
'  losophers,  and  beaux  esprits  of  every  grade  fol 
lowed  the  example  of  La  Cica.      And  it  is  a 


101 


THE  DODGE  CLUB ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


fact  that  by  the  mere  force  of  character,  apart 
from  any  adventitious  aids  of  refinement,  the 
Senator  held  his  own  remarkably.  Yet  it  must 
be  confessed  that  he  was  at  times  extremely 
puzzled. 

La  Cica  did  not  speak  the  best  English  in 
the  world ;  yet  that  could  not  account  for  all 
the  singular  remarks  which  she  made.  Still 
less  could  it  account  for  the  tender  interest  of 
her  manner.  She  had  remarkably  bright  eyes. 
Why  wandered  those  eyes  so  often  to  his,  and 
why  did  they  beam  with  such  devotion — beam 
ing  for  a  moment  only  to  fall  in  sweet  innocent 
confusion  ?  La  Cica  had  the  most  fascinating 
manners,  yet  they  were  often  perplexing  to  the 
Senator's  soul.  The  little  offices  which  she  re 
quired  of  him  did  not  appear  m  his  matter-of- 
fact  eyes  as  strictly  prudent.  The  innate  gal 
lantry  which  he  possessed  carried  him  bravely 
along  through  much  that  was  bewildering  to  his 
nerves.  Yet  he  was  often  in  danger  of  running 
away  in  terror. 

"The  Countess,"  he  thought,  "is  a  most  re 
markable  fine  woman  ;  but  she  does  use  her  eyes 
uncommon,  and  I  do  wish  she  wouldn't  be  quite 
so  demonstrative." 

The  good  Senator  had  never  before  encounter 
ed  a  thorough  woman  of  the  world,  and  was  as 
ignorant  as  a  child  of  the  innumerable  little 
harmless  arts  by  which  the  power  of  such  a  one 
is  extended  and  secured.  At  last  the  Senator 
came  to  this  conclusion.  La  Cica  was  desper 
ately  in  love  with  him. 

She  appeared  to  be  a  widow.  At  least  she 
had  no  husband  that  he  had  ever  seen ;  and 
therefore  to  the  Senator's  mind  she  must  be  a 
spinster  or  a  widow.  From  the  general  style  in 
which  she  was  addressed  he  concluded  that  she 
was  the  latter.  Now  if  the  poor  Cica  was  hope 
lessly  in  love,  it  must  be  stopped  at  once.  For 
he  was  a  married  man,  and  his  good  lady  still 
lived,  with  a  very  large  family,  most  of  the  mem 
bers  of  which  had  grown  up. 

La  Cica  ought  to  know  this.  She  ought  in 
deed.  But  let  the  knowledge  be  given  delicate 
ly,  not  abruptly.  He  confided  his  little  difficulty 
to  his  friend  the  Minister.  The  Minister  only 
laughed  heartily. 

"  But  give  me  your  opinion." 

The  Minister  held  his  sides,  and  laughed  more 
immoderately  than  ever. 

"  It's  no  laughing  matter,"  said  the  Senator. 
' '  It's  serious.  I  think  you  might  give  an  opin 
ion." 

But  the  Minister  declined.  A  broad  grin 
wreathed  his  face  during  all  the  remainder  of 
his  stay  at  Florence.  In  fact,  it  is  said  that  it 
has  remained  there  ever  since. 

The  Senator  felt  indignant,  but  his  course 
was  taken.  On  the  following  evening  they 
walked  on  the  balcony  of  La  Cica's  noble  resi 
dence.  She  was  sentimental,  devoted,  charm 
ing. 

The  conversation  of  a  fascinating  woman 
do.es  not  look  so  well  when  reported  as  it  is 
when  uttered.  Her  power  is  in  her  tone,  her 


glance,  her  manner.  Who  can  catch  the  eva 
nescent  beauty  of  her  expression  or  the  deep 
tenderness  of  her  well- modulated  voice  ?  Who 
indeed  ? 

"Does  ze  scene  please  you,  my  Senator?"     • 

"  Very  much  indeed." 

"  Youar  countrymen  haf  tol  me  zey  would  like 
to  stay  here  alloway." 

"  It  is  a  beautiful  place." 

"  Did  you  aiver  see  any  thin  moaire  loafely  ?" 
And  the  Countess  looked  full  in  his  face. 

"Never,"  said  the  Senator,  earnestly.  The 
next  instant  he  blushed.  He  had  been  betrayed 
into  a  compliment. 

The  Countess  sighed. 

"  Helas !  my  Senator,  that  it  is  not  pairmitted 
to  moartals  to  sociate  as  zey  would  laike." 

"'Your  Senator,'"  thought  the  gentleman 
thus  addressed  ;  "  how  fond,  how  tender — poor, 
thing!  poor  thing!" 

"I  wish  that  Italy  was  nearer  to  the  States," 
said  he. 

"  How  I  adamiar  youar  style  of  mind,  so  dif- 
ferente  from  ze  Italians.  You  are  so  strong — 
so  nobile.  Yet  would  I  laike  to  see  moar  of  ze 
poetic  in  you." 

"I  always  loved  poetry,  marm,"  said  the 
Senator,  desperately. 

"Ah — good — nais — eccelente.  I  am  plees 
at  zat,"  cried  the  Countess,  with  much  anima 
tion.  "  You  would  loafe  it  moar  eef  you  knew 
Italiano.  Your  langua  ees  not  sufficiente  musi- 
cale  for  poatry." 

"  It  is  not  so  soft  a  language  as  the  7-talian." 

"Ah — no — not  so  soft.  Very  well.  And 
what  theenka  you  of  ze  Italiano  ?" 

"  The  sweetest  language  I  ever  heard  in  all 
my  born  days." 

"Ah,  now — you  hev  not  heard  much  of  ze 
Italiano,  my  Senator." 

"I  have  heard  you  speak  often,"  said  the 
Senator,  naively. 

"  Ah,  you  compliment !  I  sot  you  was  aboove 
flattera." 

And  the  Countess  playfully  tapped  his  arm 
with  her  little  fan. 

"  What  Ingelis  poet  do  you  loafe  best  ?'\ 

"  Poet  ?  English  poet  ?"  said  the  Senator, 
with  some  surprise.  "  Oh — why,  marm,  I  think 
Watts  is  about  the  best  of  the  lot !" 

"Watt?  Was  he  a  poet?  I  did  not  know 
zat.  He  who  invented  ze  stim-injaine?  And 
yet  if  he  was  a  poet  it  is  naturale  zat  you  loafe 
him  best." 

"Steam-engine?  Oh  no!  This  one  was  a 
minister." 

" A  meeneestaire ?  Ah!  an  abbe?  I  know 
him  not.  Yet  I  haf  read  mos  of  all  youar  poets." 

"He  made  up  hymns,  marm,  and  psalms — 
for  instance :  '  Watts's  Divine  Hymns  and 
Spiritual  Songs.' " 

"  Songs  ?  Spirituelle  ?  Ah,  I  mus  at  once 
procuaire  ze  works  of  Watt,  which  was  favorit 
poet  of  my  Senator." 

"A  lady  of  such  intelligence  as  you  would 
like  the  poet  Watts,"  said  the  Senator,  firmly. 


THE  DODGE  CLUB ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


105 


r 


"He  is  the  best  known  by  far  of  all  our  po 
ets." 

"  What  ?  better  zan  Sakespeare,  Milton,  Bai- 
ron  ?  You  much  surprass  me." 

"Better  known  and  better  loved  than  the 
whole  lot.  Why,  his  poetry  is  known  by  heart 
through  all  England  and  America." 

"Merciful  Heaven!  what  you  tell  me!  ees 
eet  possbl !  An  yet  he  is  not  known  here  efen 
by  name.  It  would  plees  me  mooch,  my  Sen 
ator,  to  haire  you  make  one  quotatione.  Know 
you  Watt  ?  Tell  to  me  some  words  of  his  which 
I  may  remembaire.1' 

"  I  have  a  shocking  bad  memory." 

' '  Bad  memora !  Oh,  but  you  remember  some- 
thin,  zis  mos  beautful  charm  nait — you  haf  a 
nobile  soul — you  mus  be  affccta  by  beauty — by 
ze  ideal.  Make  for  a  me  one  quotatione." 

And  she  rested  her  little  hand  on  the  Sena 
tor's  arm,  and  looked  up  imploringly  in  his  face. 

The  Senator  looked  foolish.  He  felt  even 
more  so.  Here  was  a  beautiful  woman,  by  act 
and  look  showing  a  tender  interest  in  him. 
Perplexing — but  very  flattering  after  all.  So 
he  replied : 


"  You  will  not  let  me  refuse  you  any  thing." 

"Aha!  you  are  vera  willin  to  refuse.  It  is 
difficulty  for  me  to  excitare  youar  regards. 
You  are  fill  with  the  grands  ideas.  But  come 
— will  you  .spik  for  me  some  from  your  favorit 
Watt  ?" 

"  Well,  if  you  wish  it  so  much,"  said  the 
Senator,  kindly,  and  he  hesitated. 

"  Ah — I  do  wis  it  so  much !" 

"Ehem!" 

"Begin,"  said  the  Countess.  "Behold  me. 
I  listen.  I  hear  everysin,  and  will  remem 
baire  it  forava." 

The  only  thing  that  the  Senator  could  think 
of  was  the  verse  which  had  been  running  in  his 
head  for  the  last  few  days,  its  measured  rhythm 
keeping  time  with  every  occupation  : 

"  '  My  willing  soul  would  stay — '  " 

"  Stop  one  moment,"  said  the  Countess.  "  I 
weesh  to  learn  it  from  you;"  and  she  looked 
fondly  and  tenderly  up,  but  instantly  dropped 
her  eyes. 

"  '  Ma  willina  sol  wooda  sta — '  " 

"In  such  a  frame  as  this/"  prompted  the 
Senator. 


THE  DODGE  CLUB ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


"  '  Een  socha  framas  zees.'  Wait — '  Ma  will- 
ina  sol  wooda  sta  in  socha  framas  zees.'  Ah, 
appropriat !  but  could  I  hope  zat  you  were  true 
to  zose  lines,  my  Senator?  Well  ?" 

"  'And  sit  and  sing  herself  away,'  "  said  the 
Senator,  in  a  faltering  voice,  and  breaking  out 
into  a  cold  perspiration  for  fear  of  commit 
ting  himself  by  such  uncommonly  strong  lan 
guage. 

"'Ansit  ansin  hassaf  awai,' "  repeated  the 
Countess,  her  face  lighting  up  with  a  sweetly 
conscious  expression. 

The  Senator  paused. 

'Well?" 

'I — ehem  !     I  forget." 

'  Forget  ?     Impossible !" 

'  I  do  really." 

'  Ah  now !  Forget  ?  I  see  by  youar  face — 
you  desave.  Say  on." 

The  Countess  again  gently  touched  his  arm 
with  both  .-of  her  little  hands,  and  held  it  as 
though  she  would  clasp  it. 

"  Have  you  fear  ?     Ah,  cruel !" 

The  Senator  turned  pale,  but  finding  refusal 
impossible,  boldly  finished : 

"  '  To  everlasting  bliss ' — there !" 

"  '  To  affarlastin  blees  thar.'  Stop.  I  re 
peat  it  all :  '  My  willina  sol  wooda  sta  in  socha 
fratnas  zees,  ansit  ansin  hassaf  awai  to  affarlastin 
blees  thar.'  Am  I  right?" 

"Yes,"  said  the  Senator,  meekly. 

"I  knew  yon  war  a  poetic  sola,"  said  tne 
Countess,  confidingly.  "  You  air  honesto — 
true — you  can  not  desave.  When  you  spik  I 
can  beliv  you.  Ah,  my  Senator!  an  you  can 
spik  zis  poetry ! — at  soch  a  taime !  I  nefare 
knew  befoare  zat  you  was  so  impassione! — an 
you  air  so  artaful !  You  breeng  ze  confersa- 
zione  to  beauty — to  poatry — to  ze  poet  Watt — 
so  you  may  spik  verses  mos  impassione !  Ah ! 
what  do  you  mean  ?  Santissima  madre !  how 
I  wish  you  spik  Italiano. " 

The  Countess  drew  nearer  to  him,  but  her 
approach  only  deepened  his  perplexity. 

"  How  that  poor  thing  does  love  me  !"  sighed 
the  Senator.  "Law  bless  it!  she  can't  help 
it  —  can't  help  it  nohow.  She  is  a  goner  ; 
and  what  can  I  do  ?  I'll  have  to  leave  Flor 
ence.  Oh,  why  did  I  quit  Buttons!  Oh, 
why—" 

The  Countess  was  standing  close  beside  him 
in  a  tender  mood  waiting  for  him  to  break  the 
silence.  How  could  he?  He  had  been  utter 
ing  words  which  sounded  to  her  like  love  ;  and 
she — "  a  widow!  a  widow  Uwretched  man  that 
I  am!" 

There  was  a  pause.  The  longer  it  lasted 
the  more  awkward  the  Senator  felt.  What 
upon  earth  was  he  to  do  or  say?  What  busi 
ness  had  he  to  go  and  quote  poetry  to  widows  ? 
What  an  old  fool  he  must  be  !  But  the  Count 
ess  was  very  far  from  feeling  awkward.  As 
suming  an  elegant  attitude  she  looked  up,  her 
face  expressing  the  tenderest  solicitude. 

"  What  ails  my  Senator  ?" 

"  Why  the   fact   is,  marm — I  feel  sad — at 


leaving  Florence,  I  must  go  shortly.  My  wife 
has  written  summoning  me  home.  The  chil 
dren  are  down  with  the  measles." 

Oh,  base  fabrication  !  Oh,  false  Senator ! 
There  wasn't  a  word  of  truth  in  that  remark. 
You  spoke  so  because  you  wished  La  Cica  to 
know  that  you  had  a  wife  and  family.  Yet  it 
was  very  badly  done. 

La  Cica  changed  neither  her  attitude  nor  her 
expression.  Evidently  the  existence  of  his 
wife,  and  the  melancholy  situation  of  his  un 
fortunate  children,  awaked  no  sympathy. 

"  But,  my  Senator — did  you  not  say  you 
wooda  seeng  yousellef  away  to  affarlasteen 
belees  ?" 

"  Oh,  marm,  it  was  a  quotation — only  a  quo 
tation." 

But  at  this  critical  juncture  the  conversation 
was  broken  up  by  the  arrival  of  a  number  of 
ladies  and  gentlemen. 

But  could  the  Senator  have  known  !    . 

Could  he  but  have  known  how  and  where 
those  words  would  confront  him  again  ! 


CHAPTEK  XLIV. 

"MORERE  DIAGORA,  NOX  ENIM  IN  COJLUM  AD- 

SCENSURUS  ES." — THE  APOTHEOSIS  OF  THE  SEN 
ATOR  (NOTHING  LESS — IT  WAS  A  MOMENT  IN 

WHICH  A  MAN  MIGHT  WISH   TO   DIE — THOUGH, 
OF   COURSE,  THE   SENATOR  DIDN'T  DIE). 

STROLLING  through  the  streets  day  by  day 
Buttons  and  Dick  beheld  the  triumph  of  the 
Senator.  They  gazed  on  it  from  afar,  and  in 
amazement  saw  their  old  companion  suddenly 
lifted  up  to  a  position  which  they  could  not 
hope  to  gain.  The  companion  of  nobles — the 
associate  of  beaux  esjirits — the  friend  of  the 
wealthy,  the  great,  and  the  proud ;  what  in  the 
world  was  the  cause  of  this  sudden,  this  unpar 
alleled  leap  forward  to  the  very  highest  point 
of  honor  ?  Who,  in  the  name  of  goodness,  was 
that  dashing  woman  with  whom  he  was  always 
driving  about  ?  Who  were  those  fair  ladies 
with  whom  he  was  forever  promenading  ?  Plain 
ly  the  chief  people  of  the  land ;  but  how  the  mis 
chief  did  he  get  among  them  ?  They  were  be 
wildered  even  though  the  half  of  the  truth  had 
not  begun  to  dawn  upon  their  minds.  They 
never  saw  him  to  ask  him  about  it,  and  for 
some  time  only  looked  upon  him  from  a  dis 
tance. 

"Do  you  give  it  up  ?"  asked  Buttons. 

"I  give  it  up." 

"  And  I  too." 

"At  any  rate  the  United  States  might  have 
many  a  worse  representative. " 

"But  I  wonder  how  he  can  get  along.  How 
can  he  manage  to  hold  his  own  among  these  re 
fined,  over-cultivated,  fastidious  Florentines?" 

"  Goodness  knows !" 

"A  common  school  New  England  education 
can  scarcely  fit  a  man  for  intercourse  with  pol 
ished  Italians.  The  granite  hills  of  New  Hamp- 


THE  DODGE  CLUB  ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


107 


shire  have  never  been  famous  for  producing 
men  of  high  breeding.  That  is  not  their  spe 
cialty." 

"Besides,  our  good  friend  can  not  speak  a 
single  word  of  any  language  but  his  own." 

"  And  frequently  fails  in  that." 

"He  hasn't  the  remotest  glimmering  of  an 
idea  about  Art." 

"  Not  of  the  Fine  Arts,  but  in  the  useful  arts 
lie  is  immense." 

"  He  looks  upon  Italy  as  he  would  upon  a 
field  of  stumps — a  place  to  be  cleared,  broken 
up,  brought  under  cultivation,  and  made  pro 
ductive." 

"  Yes,  productive  in  cotton  factories  and  Yan 
kee  notions." 

"  What  in  the  world  can  keep  up  his  reputa 
tion  among  the  most  poetic  and  least  utilitari 
an  people  in  the  world?" 

"There's  the  mystery !" 

"  The  beauty  of  it  is  he  goes  as  much  with 
the  English  as  with  the  Italians.  Can  he  keep 
up  his  vernacular  among  them  and  still  preserve 
the  charm  ?'' 

"Well,  whatever  is  the  secret,  I  glory  in  it. 
I  believe  in  him.  He  is  a  man.  A  more  no 
ble-hearted,  sincere,  upright,  guileless  soul  nev 
er  lived.  Besides,  he  knows  thoroughly  what 
he  has  gone  over." 

"  He  is  as  generous  a  soul  as  ever  lived." 

"Yes,  a  stiff  utilitarian  in  theory,  but  in 
practice  an  impulsive  sentimentalist." 

"lie  would  legislate  according  to  the  most 
narrow  and  selfish  principles,  but  would  lay 
down  his  life  for  his  friend." 

"  Think  of  him  at  Perugia  !" 

"Yes;  the  man  himself  with  his  brave  soul 
and  invincible  courage.  Didn't  he  fight  ?  Me- 
thinks  he  did !'' 

"  If  it  hadn't  been  for  him  it  is  extremely 
probable  that  you  and  I  would  now  have  been 
— well,  certainly  not  just  here." 

Talking  thus,  the  two  young  men  walked  up 
toward  the  Palazzo  Vecchio.  They  noticed 
that  the  busy  street  through  which  they  passed 
was  filled  with  an  unusual  multitude,  who  were 
all  agitated  with  one  general  and  profound  ex 
citement,  and  were  all  hurrying  in  one  direc 
tion.  The  sight  awakened  their  interest.  They 
went  on  with  the  stream.  At  every  step  the 
crowd  increased.  At  every  street  new  throngs 
poured  in  to  join  the  vast  multitude. 

Confused  murmurs  rose  into  the  air.  Hasty 
words  passed  from  mouth  to  mouth.  They 
were  unintelligible.  They  could  only  distin 
guish  broken  sentences — words  unknown — Cav- 
riana  —  Mincio  —  Tedeschi — Napoleone — Spia 
d'ltalia.  What  was  it  all  about  ?  They  could 
not  guess.  Evidently  some  mighty  national 
event  had  occurred,  which  was  of  overwhelm 
ing  importance.  For  the  entire  city  had  turned 
out,  and  now,  as  they  entered  the  great  square 
in  front  of  the  Palazzo  Vecchio,  an  astonishing 
sight  burst  upon  their  view.  A  vast  multitude 
filled  the  square  to  overflowing.  Loud  cries 
arose.  Shouts  of  a  thousand  kinds  all  blend 


ing  together  into  one  deafening  roar,  and  rising 
on  high  like  the  thunder  of  a  cataract : 

"Vittoria!"  "Vittoria!"  "Cavriana!"  "I 
Frances!!"  "Viva  1'Italia!"  "Viva  Vittore 
Emmanuele !  il  nostro  Be !"  "  Viva !"  "  Viva  ! .'" 
"  VIVA  ! ! !" 

Words  like  these  rose  all  around,  mingled 
with  thousands  of  similar  exclamations.  At 
length  there  was  distinguished  one  word.  It 
was  passed  from  man  to  man,  more  frequently 
uttered,  gathering  as  it  passed,  adding  new  vol 
umes  of  meaning  to  its  own  sonorous  sound,  till 
at  last  all  other  words  were  drowned  in  that  one 
grand  word,  which  to  this  rejoicing  multitude 
was  the  lyre  of  glorious  victory,  the  promise  of 
endless  triumphs  for  regenerated  Italy  : 

"  SOLFEIUNO ! " 


SOLFEUINO  ! 


"  Solferino .'"  They  did  not  know  then,  as 
they  listened,  the  full  meaning  of  that  eloquent 
word.  But  on  mingling  with  the  shouting 
crowd  they  soon  learned  it  all :  how  the  ac 
cursed  Tedeschi  had  summoned  all  their  ener 
gy  to  crush  forever  the  army  of  liberty ;  how  the 
Kaisar  himself  came  from  beyond  the  mount 
ains  to  injure  his  triumph  ;  how  the  allied  ar 
mies  had  rushed  upon  their  massive  columns 
and  beaten  them  back ;  how,  hour  after  hour, 
the  battle  raged,  till  at  last  the  plain  for  many 
a  league  was  covered  with  the  wounded  and  the 
dead ;  how  the  wrongs  of  ages  were  crowded 
together  in  the  glorious  vengeance  of  that  day 
of  days ;  how  Victory  hovered  over  the  invinci 
ble  banners  of  Italy ;  how  the  Tedeschi  fled, 
routed,  over  the  river,  no  more  to  cross  it  as 
masters ;  how  the  hopes  of  Italy  arose  immortal 
from  that  one  day's  terrific  slaughter ;  how  Lib 
erty  was  now  forever  secured,  and  a  Kingdom 
of  Italy  under  an  Italian  King. 

"Viva  1'Italia  !"  "  Viva  Luigi  Napoleone !" 
"Viva  Garibaldi !"  "Viva  Vittore  Emmanu 
ele,  Re  d'ltalia!" 

In  great  moments  of  popular  excitement  peo 
ple  do  not  talk  to  one  another.  They  rhap 
sodize  ;  and  the  Italians  more  than  any  other 
people.  Hence  the  above. 


108 


THE  DODGE  CLUB ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


THE   SENATOR   SPEAKS. 


Buttons  and  Dick  clambered  up  to  the  recess 
of  a  window  and  contemplated  the  scene. 
There  was  the  innumerable  crowd ;  swaying, 
embracing,  laughing,  weeping,  shouting,  cheer 
ing.  High  in  the  air  waved  hundreds  of  ban 
ners  ;  and  the  tri-color  flaunted  in  ribbons  from 
thousands  of  breasts,  or  shone  in  rosettes,  or 
gleamed  in  flowtsrs.  Ever  and  anon  loud  trum 
pet  blasts  arose  triumphantly  on  high  ;  in  the 
distance  victorious  strains  came  swelling  up 
from  bands  hurried  there  to  express  in  thrilling 
music  what  words  could  never  utter ;  while  all 
around  the  whole  air  rang  with  the  thunder  of 
cannon  that  saluted  the  triumph  of  Solferino. 

' '  Look  there  !     Look  !     LOOK  !"  cried  Dick. 

He  pointed  to  the  large  portico  which  is  on 
the  right  of  the  Palazzo  Vecchio.  Buttons  look 
ed  as  he  was  directed. 

He  saw  a  great  assemblage  of  ladies  and  gen 
tlemen,  the  chief  people  of  the  Tuscan  state. 
From  this  place  those  announcements  had  been 
made  which  had  set  the  people  wild  with  joy. 
There  were  beautiful  ladies  whose  flushed  faces 
and  suffused  eyes  bore  witness  to  their  deep 
emotion.  There  were  noble  gentlemen  whose 
arms  still  waved  in  the  air  as  they  cheered  for 
Italy.  And  there,  high  above  all  others,  rose 
a  familiar  figure — the  massive  shoulders,  the 
calm,  shrewd,  square  face,  the  benignant  glance 
and  smile,  which  could  belong  only  to  one  per 
son,  t 


"  The  Senator  /''  cried  Buttons. 

Every  body  was  looking  in  that  direction. 
The  impulsive  crowd  having  celebrated  abstract 
ideas,  were  now  absolutely  hungering  for  some 
tangible  object  upon  which  to  expend  some 
thing  of  the  warmth  of  their  feelings.  A  few 
who  stood  near  the  Senator  and  were  impressed 
by  his  aspect,  as  soon  as  all  the  news  had  been 
made  known,  gave  expression  and  direction  to 
the  feeling  by  shouting  his  name.  As  they 
shouted  others  took  up  the  cry,  louder,  louder, 
and  louder  still,  till  his  name  burst  forth  in  one 
sublime  sound  from  thirty  thousand  lips. 

No  wonder  that  he  started  at  such  an  appeal. 
He  turned  and  looked  upon  the  crowd.  An 
ordinary  man  would  have  exhibited  either  con 
fusion  or  wonder.  The  Senator,  being  an  ex 
traordinary  man,  exhibited  neither.  As  he  turn 
ed  a  vast  roar  burst  from  the  multitude. 

"  Good  Heavens !" cried  Buttons ;  "what's  in 
the  wind  now?  Will  this  be  a  repetition  of 
the  scene  in  the  Place  Vendome  ?'' 

"Hush!" 

The  crowd  saw  before  them  the  -man  whose 
name  and  fame  had  been  the  subject  of  conject 
ure,  wonder,  applause,  and  hope  for  many  days. 
They  beheld  in  him  the  Representative  of  a 
mighty  nation,  sent  to  give  them  the  right  hand 
of  fellowship,  and  welcome  their  country  among 
the  great  powers  of  the  earth.  In  him  they 
saw  the  embodiment  of  America ! 


THE  DODGE  CLUB ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


109 


"  Viva !"  burst  through  the  air.  "  The  Amer 
ican  Embassador !"  "  Hurrah  for  the  American 
Embassadof !"  "  The  Plenipotentiary  Extraor 
dinary  !"  "  He  comes  to  crown  our  triumph  !" 
"Hurrah  for  America!"  "Free,  generous 
America!"  "The  first  nation  to  welcome  It 
aly!"  "Hurrah!"  "This  is  the  time!"  "He 
will  speak!"  "Silence!"  "Silence!"  "He 
rises!"  "Lo!"  "He  looks  at  us!"  "Si 
lence  !"  "Listen  to  the  Most  Illustrious  Plen 
ipotentiary  Extraordinary !"  "Hush!  AMER 
ICA  SPEAKS  !" 

Such  shouts  and  exclamations  as  these  burst 
forth,  with  many  others  to  the  same  effect.  The 
crowd  in  front  of  the  portico  where  the  Senator 
stood  were  almost  uncontrollable  in  their  ex 
citement.  The  Senator  rose  to  the  greatness 
of  the  occasion.  Here  was  a  chance  to  speak — 
to  utter  forth  the  deep  sympathy  of  his  country 
men  with  every  down-trodden  people  striving 
for  freedom.  He  turned  to  face  them  and  held 
out  his  hand.  At  once  the  immense  assem 
blage  was  hushed  to  silence. 

The  Senator  took  off  his  hat.  Never  before 
did  he  look  as  he  looked  now.  The  grandeur 
of  the  occasion  had  sublimed  his  usually  rugged 
fjatures  into  majesty.  He  looked  like  the  in 
carnation  of  a  strong,  vigorous,  invincible  peo 
ple. 

The  Senator  spoke : 

"  Men  of  Italy  ! 

"In  the  name  of  the  Great  Republic! — I 
congratulate  you  on  this  glorious  victory!  It 
is  a  triumph  of  Liberty ! — of  the  principles  of 
'76 ! — of  the  immortal  idees ! — for  which  our 
'forefathers  fought  and  died  ! — at  Lexington  ! 
— at  Bunker  Hill ! — and  at  a  thousand  other 
places  in  the  great  and  glorious  Revolution  !" 

The  Senator  paused.  This  was  enough.  It 
had  been  spoken  in  English.  The  Italians  did 
not  of  course  understand  a  "word,  yet  they  com 
prehended  all  his  meaning.  As  he  paused  there 
burst  forth  a  shout  of  joy  such  as  is  heard  only 
ones  in  a  life-time;  shout  upon  shout.  The  long 
peals  of  sound  rose  up  and  spread  far  away  over 
the  city.  The  vast  crowd  vibrated  like  one  man 
to  the  impulse  of  the  common  enthusiasm. 

It  was  too  great  to  last.  They  rushed  to  the 
carriage  of  La  Cica.  They  unharnessed  the 
horses.  They  led  the  Senator  to  it  and  made 
him  enter.  They  flung  their  tri-colors  in.  They 
threw  flowers  on  his  lap.  They  wound  the  flag 
of  Italy  around  the  carriage.  A  thousand  marched 
before  it.  Thousands  more  walked  beside  and 
behind.  They  drew  him  up  to  his  hotel  in  tri 
umph,  and  the  band  struck  up  the  thrilling  strain 
of  "  Yankee  Doodle  !" 

It  would  be  unfair  not  to  render  justice  to  La 
Cica.  She  bore  the  scene  admirably.  Her 
beaming  face,  and  lustrous  eyes,  and  heaving 
bosom,  and  majestic  air,  showed  that  she  ap 
propriated  to  herself  all  the  honor  thus  lavished 
upon  the  Senator.  It  was  a  proud  moment  for 
La  Cica. 

"Dick,"  said  Buttons,  as  they  descended 
from  their  perch. 


"Well?" 

"  How  do  yon  feel  now  ?" 

"Obliterated.  I  do  not  exist.  I  was  once 
a  blot.  I  am  expunged.  There  is  no  such  thing 
as  Dick." 

"  Who  could  have  imagined  this  ?" 

"And  how  he  bore  it!  The  Senator  is  a 
great  man !  But  come.  Don't  let  us  speak 
for  an  hour,  for  we  are  both  unable  to  talk  co 
herently." 

From  patriotic  motives  the  two  young  men 
walked  behind  the  Senator's  carriage  and  cheer 
ed  all  the  way. 

Upon  arriving  at  their  lodgings  in  the  even 
ing  they  stationed  themselves  at  the  window 
and  looked  out  upon  the  illuminated  scene. 
Dick,  finding  his  emotions  too  strong  to  be  re 
strained,  took  his  trombone  and  entertained  a 
great  crowd  for  hours  with  all  the  national  airs 
that  he  knew. 


CHAPTER  XLV. 

THE  PBIVATE  OPINION  OP  THE  DOCTOR  ABOUT 
FOREIGN  TRAVEL. — BUTTONS  STILL  MEETS  WITH 
AFFLICTIONS. 

"  THE  Italians,  or  at  any  rate  the  people  of 
Florence,  have  just  about  as  much  cuteness  as 
you  will  find  anywhere." 

Such  was  the  dictum  of  the  Senator  in  a  con? 
versation  with  his  companions  after  rejoining 
them  at  the  hotel.  They  had  much  to  ask; 
he,  much  to  tell.  Never  had  he  been  more 
critical,  more  approbative.  He  felt  now  that 
he  thoroughly  understood  the  Italian  question, 
and  expressed  himself  in  accordance  with  this 
consciousness. 

"Nothing  does  a  feller  so  much  good,"  said 
he.  ' '  as  mixing  in  all  grades  of  society.  It 
won't  ever  do  to  confine  our  observation  to  the 
lower  classes.  We  must  mingle  with  the  upper- 
crust,  who  are  the  leaders  of  the  people." 

"Unfortunately,"  said  Buttons,  "we  are  not 
all  Senators,  so  we  have  to  do  the  best  we  can 
with  our  limited  opportunities." 

They  had  been  in  Florence  long  enough,  and 
now  the  general  desire  was  to  go  on.  Mr.  Figgs 
and  the  Doctor  had  greatly  surprised  the  Senator 
by  informing  him  that  they  did  not  intend  to  go 
any  further. 

And  why  not  ? 

"Well,  for  my  own  part,"  said  Mr.  Figgs, 
"  the  discomforts  of  travel  are  altogether  too 
great.  It  would  not  be  so  bad  in  the  winter, 
but  think  how  horribly  hot  it  is.  What  is  my 
condition  ?  That  of  a  man  slowly  suffocating. 
Think  how  fat  I  am.  Even  if  I  had  the  en 
thusiasm  of  Dick,  or  the  fun  of  Buttons,  my  fat 
would  force  me  to  leave.  Can  you  pretend  to 
be  a  friend  of  mine  and  still  urge  me  to  go  fur 
ther  ?  And  suppose  we  passed  over  into  the  Aus 
trian  territory.  Perhaps  we  might  be  unmolest 
ed,  but  it  is  doubtful.  Suppose,  for  the  sake 
of  argument,  that  we  were  arrested  and  de 
tained.  Imagine  us — imagine  me — shut  up  in 
a  room— or  worse,.a  cell — in  the  month  of  July, 


110 


THE  DODGE  CLUB  ;  OR,  ITALY  IX  MDCCCLIX. 


A  GBEA6E  SPOT. 

in  midsummer,  in  the  hottest  part  of  this  burn 
ing  fiery  furnace  of  a  country !  What  would 
be  left  of  me  at  the  end  of  a  week,  or  at  the 
end  of  even  one  day  ?  What  ?  A  grease 
spot !  A  grease  spot !  Not  a  bit  more,  by 
Jingo !" 

After  this  speech,  which  was  for  him  one  of 
extraordinary  length  and  vigor,  Mr.  Figgs  fell 
exhausted  into  his  chair. 

"  But  you,  Doctor,"  said  the  Senator,  seeing 
that  Mr.  Figgs  was  beyond  the  reach  of  persua 
sion — "  you — what  reason  is  there  for  you  to 
leave  ?  You  are  young,  strong,  and  certainly 
not  fat." 

"  No,  thank  heaven !  it  is  not  the  heat,  or 
the  fear  of  being  suffocated  in  an  Austrian  dun 
geon,  that  influences  me." 

"What,  then,  is  the  reason?" 

"These  confounded  disturbances,"  said  the 
Doctor  languidly. 

"  Disturbances  ?" 

"Yes.  I  hear  that  the  road  between  this 
and  Bologna  swarms  with  vagabonds.  Several 
diligences  have  been  robbed.  I  heard  a  story 
which  shows  this  state  of  things.  A  band  of 
men  entered  the  theatre  of  a  small  town  along 
the  road  while  the  inhabitants  were  witnessing 
the  play.  At  first  the  spectators  thought  it  was 
part  of  the  performance.  They  were  soon  un 
deceived.  The  men  drew  up  in  line  in  front  of 
the  stage  and  levelled  their  pieces.  Then  fasten 
ing  the  doors,  they  sent  a  number  of  men  around 
through  the  house  to  plunder  the  whole  audience. 
Not  content  with  this  they  made  the  authorities 
of  the  town  pay  a  heavy  ransom." 


"  Some  one  has  been  humbugging  you,  Doc 
tor,"  said  Buttons. 

"I  had  it  from  good  authority,"  said  the 
Doctor,  calmly.  "  These  fellows  call  them 
selves  Revolutionists,  and  the  peasantry  sympa 
thize  with  them." 

"  Well,  if  we  meet  with  them  there  will  be  a 
little  additional  excitement." 

"  Yes,  and  the  loss  of  our  watches  and  mon- 
ey." 

"  We  can  carry  our  money  where  they  won't 
find  it,  and  our  bills  of  exchange  are  all  right, 
you  know." 

"  I  think  none  of  you  will  accuse  me  of  want 
of  courage.  If  I  met  these  fellows  you  know 
very  well  that  I  would  go  in  for  fighting  them. 
But  what  I  do  object  to  is  the  infernal  bother  of 
being  stopped,  detained,  or  perhaps  sent  back. 
Then  if  any  of  us  got  wounded  we  would  be  laid 
up  for  a  month  or  so.  That's  what  I  object  to. 
If  I  had  to  do  it  it  would  be  different,  but  I  see 
no  necessity." 

"You  surely  want  to  see  Lombardy  ?" 
"  No,  I  don't." 
"  Not  Bologna  ?" 
"No." 
"Ferrara?" 
"No." 

"  Do  you  mean  to  say  that  you  don't  want  to 
see  Venice  and  Milan  ?" 

"  Haven't  the  remotest  desire  to  see  either 
of  the  places.  I  merely  wish  to  get  back  again 
to  Paris.  It's  about  the  best  place  I've  seen  yet, 
except,  of  course,  my  native  city,  Philadelphia. 
That  I  think  is  without  an  equal.  However, 
our  minds  are  made  up.  We  don't  wish  to 
change  your  plans — in  fact,  we  never  thought  it 
possible.  We  are  going  to  take  the  steamer  at 
Leghorn  for  Marseilles,  and  go  on  to  Paris." 

"Well,  Doctor,"  said  Dick,  "  will  you  do  me 
one  favor  before  you  go  ?" 

"  With  pleasure.     What  is  it?" 
"  Sell  me  your  pistol." 
"  I  can't  sell  it,"  said  the  Doctor.      "  It  was 
a  present  to  me.     But  I  will  be  happy  to  lend 
it  to  you  till  we  meet  again  in  Paris.     We  will 
be  sure  to  meet  there  in  a  couple  of  months  at 
the  furthest." 

The  Doctor  took  out  his  pistol  and  handed 
it  to  Dick,  who  thankfully  received  it. 

"Oh,  Buttons,"  said  the  Senator,  suddenly, 
I  have  good  news  for  you.  I  ought  to  have 
told  you  before." 

"Good  news?  what?" 
"  I  saw  the  Spaniards." 
"The    Spaniards!"   cried   Buttons,  eagerly, 
starting    up.     "  Where   did   you   see   them  ? 
When  ?     Where  are  they  ?     I  have  scoured  the 
whole  town." 

"  I  saw  them  at  a  very  crowded  assembly  at 
the  Countess's.  There  was  such  a  scrouging 
that  I  could  not  get  near  them.  The  three  were 
there.  The  little  Don  and  his  two  sisters." 

"  And  don't  you  know  any  thing  about 
them  ?" 

"Not  a  hooter,  except  something  that  the 


THE  DODGE  CLUB  ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


Ill 


Countess  told  me.  I  think  she  said  that  they 
were  staying  at  the  villa  of  a  friend  of  hers." 

"A  friend?  Oh,  confound  it  all!  What 
shall  I  do  ?'* 

"The  villa  is  out  of  town." 

"That's  the  reason  why  I  never  could  see 
them.  Confound  it  all,  what  shall  I  do?" 

"  Buttons,"  said  the  Senator,  gravely,  "  I  am 
truly  sorry  to  see  a  young  man  like  you  so  in 
fatuated  about  foreign  women.  Do  not  be  of 
fended,  I  mean  it  kindly.  She  may  be  a  Jesuit 
in  disguise  ;  who  knows  ?  And  why  will  you 
]iut  yourself  to  grief  about  a  little  black-eyed 
gal  that  don't  know  a  word  of  English  ?  Be 
lieve  me,  New  England  is  wide,  and  has  ten 
thousand  better  gals  than  ever  she  began  to  be. 
If  you  will  get  in  love  wait  till  you  get  home 
and  fall  in  love  like  a  Christian,  a  Republican, 
and  a  Man." 

But  the  Senator's  words  had  no  effect.  But 
tons  sat  for  a  few  moments  lost  in  thought.  At 
length  he  rose  and  quietly  left  the  room.  It 
was  about  nine  in  the  morning  when  he  left. 
It  was  about  nine  in  the  evening  when  he  re 
turned.  He  looked  dusty,  fatigued,  fagged, 
and  dejected.  He  had  a  long  story  to  tell,  and 
was  quite  communicative.  The  substance  of 
it  was  this :  On  leaving  the  hotel  he  had  gone 
at  once  to  La  Clca's  residence,  and  had  re 
quested  permission  to  see  her.  He  could  not 
till  twelve.  He  wandered  about  and  called 
again  at  that  hour.  She  was  very  amiable, 
especially  on  learning  that  he  was  a  friend  of 
the  Senator,  after  whom  she  asked  with  deep  in 
terest.  Nothing  could  exceed  her  affability. 


She  told  him  all  that  she  knew  about  the  Span 
iards.  They  were  stopping  at  the  villa  of  a 
certain  friend  of  hers  whom  she  named.  It  was 
ten  miles  from  the  city.  The  friend  had 
brought  them  to  the  assembly.  It  was  but  for 
a  moment  that  she  had  seen  them.  She  wished 
for  his  sake  that  she  had  learned  more  about 
them.  She  trusted  that  he  would  succeed  jn 
his  earnest  search.  She  should  think  that  they 
might  still  be  in  Florence,  and  if  he  went  out 
at  once  he  might  see  them.  Was  this  his  first 
visit  to  Florence?  How  perfectly  he  had  the 
Tuscan  accent ;  and  why  had  he  not  accom 
panied  his  friend  the  Senator  to  her  salon  ? 
But  it  would  be  impossible  to  repeat  all  that  La 
Cica  said. 

Buttons  went  out  to  the  villa  at  once ;  but 
to  his  extreme  disgust  found  that  the  Spaniards 
had  left  on  the  preceding  day  for  Bologna.  He 
drove  about  the  country  for  some  distance,  rest 
ed  his  horses,  and  took  a  long  walk,  after  which 
he  returned. 

Their  departure  for  Bologna  on  the  following 
morning  was  a  settled  thing.  The  diligence 
started  early.  They  had  pity  on  the  flesh  of 
Figgs  and  the  spirit  of  the  Doctor.  So  they 
bade  them  good-bye  on  the  evening  before  retir 
ing. 


FABEWELL,   FIGGS  ! 


CHAPTER  XL VI. 

A  MEMORABLE  DRIVE. — NIGHT. — THE  BRIGANDS 
ONCE  MORE. — GARIBALDI'S  NAME. — THE  FIRE. 
— THE  IRON  BAR. — THE  MAN  FROM  THE  GRANITE 
STATE  AND  HIS  TWO  BOYS. 

"  THE  great  beauty  of  this 
pistol  is  a  little  improvement 
that  I  have  not  seen  before." 

And  Dick  proceeded  to  ex 
plain. 

"  Here  is  the  chamber  with 
the  six  cavities  loaded.  Now, 
you  see,  when  you  wish,  you 
touch  this  spring  and  out  pops 
the  butt." 

"Well?" 

"Very  well.  Here  I  have 
another  chamber  with  six  car 
tridges.  It's  loaded,  the  car 
tridges  arc  covered  with  copper 
and  have  detonating  powder  at 
one  end.  As  quick  as  light 
ning  I  put  this  on,  and  there  you 
have  the  pistol  ready  to  be  fired 
again  six  times." 

"  So  you  have  twelve  shots?" 

"Yes*." 

"And  cartridges  to  spare?" 

"  The  Doctor  gave  me  all  that 
he  had,  about  sixty,  I  should 
think." 

"You  have  enough  to  face  a 
whole  army — " 

"Precisely — and  in  my  coat- 
pocket." 
•     This  conversation  took  place 


II 


112 


THE  DODGE  CLUB  ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


in  the  banquette  of  the  diligence  that  conveyed 
Dick,  Buttons,  and  the  Senator  from  Florence 
to  Bologna.  A  long  part  of  the  journey  had 
been  passed  over.  They  were  among  the 
mountains. 

"Do  you  expect  to  use  that  ?"  asked  the  Sen 
ator,  carelessly. 

'I  do." 

'  You  believe  these  stories  then  ?" 

'Yes;  don't  you?" 

'  Certainly." 

'  So  do  I,"  said  Buttons.     "I  could  not  get 
a  pistol;  but  I  got  this  from  an  acquaintance." 
And  he  drew  from  his  pocket  an  enormous 
bowie-knife. 

"  Bowie-knives  are  no  good,"  said  the  Sena 
tor.  "Perhaps  they  may  do  if  you  want  to  as 
sassinate  ;  but  for  nothing  else.  You  can't 
defend  yourself.  I  never  liked  it.  It's  not 
American.  It's  not  the  direct  result  of  our  free 
institutions." 

"What  have  you  then?  You  are  not  going 
unarmed." 

"This, "said  the  Senator. 
And  he  lifted  up  a  crow-bar  from  the  front 
of  the  coach.  Brandishing  it  in  the  air  as  eas 
ily  as  an  ordinary  man  would  swing  a  walk 
ing-stick,  he  looked  calmly  at  his  astonished 
companions. 

"You  see,"  said  he,  "there  are  several 
reasons  why  this  sort  of  thing  is  the  best  weapon 
for  me.  A  short  knife  is  no  use.  A  sword  is 
no  good,  for  I  dop't  know  the  sword  exer 
cise.  A  gun  is  worthless;  I  would  fire  it 
off  once  and  then  have  to  use  it  as  a  club.  It 
would  then  be  apt  to  break.  That  would  be  dis 
agreeable — especially  in  the  middle  of  a  fight. 
A  stick  or  club  of  any  kind  would  be  open  to 
the  same  objection.  What,  then,  is  the  weapon 
for  me  ?  Look  at  me.  I  am  big,  strong,  and 
active.  I  have  no  skill.  I  am  brute  strength. 
So  a  club  is  my  only  weapon — a  club  that 
won't  break.  Say  iron,  then.  There  you  have 
it." 

And  the  Senator  swung  the  ponderous  bar 
around  in  a  way  that  showed  the  wisdom  of  his 
choice. 

"You  are  about  right."  said  Buttons.  "I 
venture  to  say  you'll  do  as  much  mischief  with 
that  as  Dick  will  with  his  pistol.  Perhaps 
more.  As  for  me,  I  don't  expect  to  do  much. 
Still,  if  the  worst  comes,  I'll  try  to  do  what  I 
can." 

"We  may  not  have  to  use  them,"  said  the 
Senator.  "Who  are  below ?" 

'  Below  ?" 

'In  the  coach?" 

'  Italians." 

'Women  ?" 

'  No,  all  men.  Two  priests,  three  shop-keep 
er-looking  persons,  and  a  soldier." 

"  Ah  !  Why,  we  ought  to  be  comparatively 
safe." 

"Oh,  our  number  is  not  any  thing.  The 
country  is  in  a  state  of  anarchy.  Miserable 
devils  of  half-starved  Italians  swarm  along  the 


road,  and  they  will  try  to  make  hay  while  the 
sun  shines.  I  have  no  doubt  we  will  be  stopped 
half  a  dozen  times  before  we  get  to  Bologna." 

"I  should  think,"  said  the  Senator,  indig 
nantly,  "  that  if  these  chaps  undertake  to  gov 
ern  the  country — these  republican  chaps — they 
had  ought  'to  govern  it.  What  kind  of  a  way 
is  this  to  leave  helpless  travellers  at  the  mercy 
of  cut-throats  and  assassins  ?" 

"They  think,"  said  Buttons,  "that  their  first 
duty  is  to  secure  independence,  and  after  that 
they  will  promote  order." 

"  The  Florentines  are  a  fine  people — a  people 
of  remarkable  'cuteness  and  penetration  ;  but  it 
seems  to  me  that  they  are  taking  things  easy  as 
far  as  fighting  is  concerned.  They  don't  send 
their  soldiers  to  the  war,  do  they  ?" 

"  Well,  no ;  I  suppose  they  think  their  army 
may  be  needed  nearer  home.  The  Grand  Duke 
has  long  arms  yet;  and  knows  how  to  bribe." 

By  this  time  they  were  among  the  mountain 
forests  where  the  scenery  was  grander,  the  air 
cooler,  the  sky  darker,  than  before.  It  was 
late  in  the  day,  and  every  mile  increased  the 
wildness  of  the  landscape  and  the  thickness  of 
the  gloom.  Further  and  further,  on  they  went 
till  at  last  they  came  to  a  winding-place  where 
the  road  ended  at  a  gnlly  over  which  there  was 
a  bridge.  On  the  bridge  was  a  barricade. 
They  did  not  see  it  until  they  had  made  a  turn 
where  the  road  wound,  where  at  once  the  scene 
burst  on  their  view. 

The  leaders  reared,  the  postillions  swore,  the 
driver  snapped  his  whip  furiously.  The  pas 
sengers  in  "coupe,"  "rotonde,"  and  "  interi- 
eure  "  popped  out  their  heads,  the  passengers  on 
the  "banquette"  stared,  until  at  last,  just  as  the 
postillions  were  dismounting  to  reconnoitre, 
twelve  figures  rose  up  from  behind  the  barricade, 
indistinct  in  the  gloom,  and  bringing  their 
rifles  to  their  shoulders  took  aim. 

The  driver  yelled,  the  postillions  shouted, 
the  passengers  shrieked.  The  three  men  in  the 
banquette  prepared  for  a  fight.  Suddenly  a 
loud  voice  was  heard  from  behind.  They 
looked.  A  number  of  men  stood  there,  and 
several  more  were  leaping  out  from  the  thick 
woods  on  the  right.  They  were  surrounded. 
At  length  one  of  the  men  came  forward  from  be 
hind. 

"You  are  at  our  mercy,"  said  he.  "Who 
ever  gives  up  his  money  may  go  free.  Who 
ever  resists  dies.  Do  you  hear  ?" 

Meanwhile  the  three  men  in  the  banquette 
had  piled  some  trunks  around,  and  prepared  to 
resist  till  the  last  extremity.  Dick  was  to  fire  ; 
Buttons  to  keep  each  spare  butt  loaded  ;  the 
Senator  to  use  his  crow-bar  on  the  heads  of  any 
assailants.  They  waited  in  silence.  They 
heard  the  brigands  rummaging  through  the 
coach  below,  the  prayers  of  the  passengers, 
their  appeals  for  pity,  their  groans  at  being  com 
pelled  to  give  up  every  thing. 

"The  cowards  don't  deserve  pity!"  cried  the 
Senator.  "There  are  enough  to  get  up  a  good 
resistance.  We'll  show  fight,  anyhow!" 


THE  DODGE  CLUB  ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


113 


IN  THE  COACH. 


Scarcely  had  he  spoke  when  three  or  four 
heads  appeared  above  the  edge  of  the  coach. 

"  Haste ! — your  money  !"  said  one. 

"  Stop  !"  said  Buttons.  "  This  gentleman 
is  the  American  Plenipotentiary  Extraordinary, 
who  has  just  come  from  Florence,  andis.on  his 
way  to  communicate  with  Garibaldi." 

"Garibaldi!"  cried  the  man,  in  a  tone  of 
deep  respect. 

"  Yes,"  said  Buttons,  who  had  not  miscalcu 
lated  the  effect  of  that  mighty  name.  "If  you 
harm  us  or  plunder  us  you  will  have  to  settle 
your  account  with  Garibaldi — that's  all ! " 

The  man  was  silent.  Then  he  leaped  down, 
and  in  another  moment  another  man  came. 

"Which  is  the  American  Plenipotentiary 
Extraordinary?" 

"  He,"  said  Buttons,  pointing  to  the  Senator. 

"Ah  !  I  know  him.  It  is  the  same.  I  saw 
him  at  his  reception  in  Florence,  and  helped  to 
pull  his  carriage.'1 

The  Senator  calmly  eyed  the  brigand,  who 
had  respectfully  taken  off  his  hat. 

"  So  you  are  going  to  communicate  with 
Garibaldi  at  once.  Go  in  peace  !  Gentlemen, 
every  one  of  us  fought  under  Garibaldi  at  Home. 
Ten  years  ago  he  disbanded  a  large  number  of 
us  among  these  mountains.  I  have  the  honor  to 
inform  you  that  ever  since  that  time  I  have  got 
my  living  out  of  the  public,  especially  those  in 
the  service  of  the  Government.  You  are  differ 
ent.  I  like  you  because  you  are  Americans.  I 
like  you  still  better  because  you  are  friends  of 
Garibaldi.  Go  in  peace  !  When  you  see  the 
General  tell  him  Giuglio  Malvi  sends  his  re 
spects." 

And  the  man  left  them.  In  about  a  quarter 
of  an  hour  the  barricade  was  removed,  and  the 
passengers  resumed  their  seats  with  lighter 
purses  but  heavier  hearts.  The  diligence  start 
ed,  and  once  more  went  thundering  along  the 
mountain  road. 

"  I  don't  believe  we've  seen  the  last  of  these 
scoundrels  yet,"  said  Buttons. 

"  Nor  I,"  said  Dick. 


A  general  conversation  followed.  It  was 
late,  and  but  few  things  were  visible  along  the 
road.  About  two  hours  passed  away  without 
any  occurrence. 

"Look  !"  cried  Dick,  suddenly. 

They  looked.  About  a  quarter  of  a  mile 
ahead  a  deep  red  glow  arose  above  the  forest, 
illumining  the  sky.  The  windings  of  the  road 
prevented  them  from  seeing  the  cause  of  it. 
The  driver  was  startled,  but  evidently  thought 
it  was  no  more  dangerous  to  go  on  than  to  stop. 
So  he  lashed  up  his  horses  and  set  them  off  at 
a  furious  gallop.  The  rumble  of  the  ponderous 
wheels  shut  out  all  other  sounds.  As  they  ad 
vanced  the  light  grew  more  vivid. 

"  I  shouldn't  wonder,"  said  the  Senator,  "if 
we  have  another  barricade  here.  Be  ready, 
boys!  We  won't  get  off  so  easily  this  time." 

The  other  two  said  not  a  word.  On,  and  on. 
The  report  of  a  gun  suddenly  roused  'all.  The 
driver  lashed  his  horses.  The  postillions  took 
the  butts  of  their  riding-whips  and  pelted  the 
animals.  The  road  took  a  turn,  and,  passing 
this,  a  strange  scene  burst  upon  their  sight. 

A  wide,  open  space  on  the  road-side,  a  col 
lection  of  beams  across  the  road,  the  shadowy 
forms  of  about  thirty  men,  and  the  whole  scene 
dimly  lighted  by  a  smouldering  fire.  As  it 
blazed  up  a  little  the  smoke  rolled  off  and  they 
saw  an  overturned  carriage,  two  horses  tied  to 
a  tree,  and  two  men  with  their  hands  bound 
behind  them  lying  on  the  ground. 

A  voice  rang  out  through  the  stillness  which 
for  a  moment  followed  the  sudden  stoppage  of 
the  coach  at  the  barrier.  There  came  a  wail 
from  the  frightened  passengers  within  —  cries 
for  mercy — piteous  entreaties. 

"Silence,  fools!"  roared  the  same  voice, 
which  seemed  to  be  that  of  the  leader. 

"  Wait!  wait !"  said  the  Senator  to  his  com 
panions.  "  Let  me  give  the  word." 

A  crowd  of  men  advanced  to  the  dilligence, 
and  as  they  left  the  fire  Buttons  saw  three  fig 
ures  left  behind — two  women  and  a  man.  They 
did  not  move.  But  suddenly  a  loud  shriek 


1H 


THE  DODGE  CLUB  ;  OR,  ITALY  IX  MDCCCLIX. 

At  the  shriek  < 


burst  from  one  of  the  women. 
Buttons  trembled. 

"  The  Spaniards  !  It  is !  I  know  the  voice ! 
My  God!" 

In  an  instant  Buttons  was  down  on  the 
ground  and  in  the  midst  of  the  crowd  of  brig 
ands  who  surrounded  the  coach. 

Bang  !  bang !  bang !  It  was  not  the  guns  of 
the  brigands,  but  Dick's  pistol  that  now  spoke, 
and  its  report  was  the  signal  of  death  to  three 
men  who  rolled  upon  the  ground  in  their  last 
agonies.  As  the  third  report  burst  forth  the 
Senator  hurled  himself  down  upon  the  heads 
of  those  below.  The  action  of  Buttons  had 
broken  up  all  their  plans,  rendered  parley  im 
possible,  and  left  nothing  for  them  to  do  but  to 
follow  him  and  save  him.  The  brigands  rushed 
at  them  with  a  yell  of  fury. 

"  Death  to  them  !  Death  to  them  all !  No 
quarter!" 

"Help!"  cried  Buttons.  "Passengers,  we 
are  armed  !  We  can  save  ourselves  !" 

But  the  passengers,  having  already  lost  their 
money,  now  feared  to  lose  their  lives.  Not  one 
responded.  All  about  the  coach  the  scene  be 
came  one  of  terrible  confusion.  Guns  were 
lired,  blows  fell  in  every  direction.  The  dark 
ness,  but  faintly  illuminated  by  the  fitful  fire 
light,  prevented  the  brigands  from  distinguish 
ing  their  enemies  very  clearly — a  circumstance 
which  favored  the  little  band  of  Americans. 

The  brigands  fired  at  the  coach,  and  tried  to 
break  open  the  doors.  Inside  the  coach  the 
passengers,  frantic  with  fear,  sought  to  make 
their  voices  heard  amid  the  uproar.  They  beg 
ged  for  mercy ;  they  declared  they  had  no 
money ;  they  had  already  been  robbed  ;  they 
would  give  all  that  was  left ;  they  would  sur 
render  if  only  their  lives  were  spared. 

"And,  oh!  good  Americans,  yield,  yield,  or 
we  all  die !" 

"Americans?"  screamed  several  passionate 
voices.  ' '  Death  to  the  Americans !  Death  to 
all  foreigners !" 

These  bandits  were  unlike  the  last. 
Seated  in  the  banquette  Dick  surveyed  the 
scene,  while  himself  concealed  from  view. 
Calmly  he  picked  out  man  after  man  and  fired. 
As  they  tried  to  climb  up  the  diligence,  or  to  < 
force  open  the  door,  they  fell  back  howling. 
One  man  had  the  door  partly  broken  open  by 
furious  blows  with  the  butt  of  his  gun.  Dick 
fired.  The  ball  entered  his  arm.  He  shrieked 
with  rage.  With  his  other  arm  he  seized  his 
gun,  and  again  his  blows  fell  crashing.  In  an 
other  instant  a  ball  passed  into  his  brain. 

"Two  shots  wasted  on  one  man!  Too 
much  !"  muttered  Dick;  and  taking  aim  again 
he  fired  at  a  fellow  who  was  just  leaping  up  the 
other  side.  The  wretch  fell  cursing. 

Again  !  again  !  again  !  Swiftly  Dick's  shots 
flashed  around.  He  had  now  but  one  left  in 
his  pistol.  Hurriedly  he  filled  the  spare  cham 
ber  with  six  cartridges,  and  taking  out  the  oth 
er  he  filled  it  and  placed  it  in  again.  He  looked 
down. 


A  KJ1KB   FIGHT. 

There  was  the  Senator.  More  than  twenty 
men  surrounded  him,  firing,  swearing,  striking, 
shrieking,  rushing  forward,  trying  to  tear  him 
from  his  post.  For  he  had  planted  himself 
against  the  fore-part  of  the  diligence,  and  the 
mighty  arm  whose  strength  had  been  so  proved 
at  Perugia  was  now  descending  again  with  ir* 
resistible  force  upon  the  heads  of  his  assailants. 
All  this  was  the  work  of  but  a  few  minutes. 
Buttons  could  not  be  seen.  Dick's  prepara 
tions  were  made.  For  a  moment  he  waited  for 
a  favorable  chance  to  get  down.  He  could  not 
stay  up  there  any  longer.  He  must  stand  by 
the  Senator. 

There  stood  the  Senator,  his  giant  form  tower 
ing  up  amidst  the  mele'e,  his  muscular  arms 
wielding  the  enormous  iron  bar,  his  astonishing 
strength  increased  tenfold  by  the  excitement  of 
the  fight.  He  never  spoke  a  word. 

One  after  another  the  brigands  went  down 
before  the  awful  descent  of  that  iron  bar.  They 
clung  together ;  they  yelled  in  fury ;  they  threw 
themselves  en  masse  against  the  Senator.  He 
met  them  as  a  rock  meets  a  hundred  waves. 
The  remorseless  iron  bar  fell  only  with  redoubled 
fury.  They  raised  their  clubbed  muskets  in 
the  air  and  struck,  at  him.  One  sweep  of  the 
iron  bar  and  the  muskets  were  dashed  out  of 
their  hands,  broken  or  bent,  to  the  ground. 
They  fired,  but  from  their  wild  excitement  their 
aim  was  useless.  In  the  darkness  they  struck 
at  one  another.  One  by  one  the  number  of 
his  assailants  lessened— they  grew  more  furious 
but  less  bold.  They  fell  back  a  little ;  but  the 
Senator  advanced  as  they  retired,  guarding  his 


THE  DODGE  CLUB ;  OK,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


115 


DON'T  SPEAK. 


o\vn  retreat,  but  still  swinging  his  iron  bar  with 
undiminished  strength.  The  prostrate  forms 
of  a  dozen  men  lay  around.  Again  they  rushed 
at  him.  The  voice  of  their  leader  encouraged 
them  and  shamed  their  fears.  He  was  a  stout, 
powerful  man,  armed  with  a  knife  and  a  gun. 

"  Cowards!  kill  this  one!  This  is  the  one! 
All  the  rest  will  yield  if  we  kill  him.  For 
ward!" 

That  moment  Dick  leaped  to  the  ground. 
The  next  instant  the  brigands  leaped  upon 
them.  The  two  were  lost  in  the  crowd. 

Twelve  reports,  one  after  the  other,  rang  into 
the  air.  Dick  did  not  fire  till  the  muzzle  of 
his  pistol  was  against  his  enemy's  breast.  The 
darkness,  now  deeper  than  ever,  prevented  him 
from  being  distinctly  seen  by  the  furious  crowd, 
who  thought  only  of  the  Senator.  But  now  the 
fare  shooting  up  brightly  at  the  sudden  breath 
of  a  strong  wind  threw  a  lurid  light  upon  the 
scene. 

There  stood  Dick,  his  clothes  torn,  his  face 
covered  with  blood,  his  last  charge  gone.  There 
stood  the  Senator,  his  face  blackened  with  smoke 
and  dust,  and  red  with  blood,  his  colossal  form 
erect,  and  still  the  ponderous  bar  swung  on  high 
to  fall  as  terribly  as  ever.  Before  him  wei'e 
eight  men.  Dick  saw  it  all  in  an  instant.  He 
screamed  to  the  passengers  in  the  diligence  : 

"There  are  only  eight  left!  Come!  Help 
us  take  them  prisoners  !  Haste !" 

The  cowards  in  the  diligence  saw  how  things 
were.  They  plucked  up  courage,  and  at  the 
call  of  Diek  jumped  out.  The  leader  of  the 
brigands  was  before  Dick  with  uplifted  rifle. 
Dick  flung  his  pistol  at  his  head.  The  brigand 
drew  back  and  felled  Dick  senseless  to  the 
ground.  The  next  moment  the  Senator's  arm 
descended,  and,  with  his  head  broken  by  the 
blow,  the  robber  fell  dead. 

As  though  the  fall  of  Dick  had  given  him 
fresh  fury,  the  Senator  sprang  after  the  others. 
Blow  after  blow  fell.  They  were  struck  down 
helplessly  as  they  ran.  At  this  moment  the 
passengers,  snatching  up  the  arms  of  the  pros 


trate  bandits,  assaulted  those  who  yet  remained. 
They  fled.  The  Senator  pursued — long  enough 
to  give  each  one  a  parting  blow  hard  enough  to 
make  him  remember  it  for  a  month.  When  he 
returned  the  passengers  were  gathering  around 
the  coach,  with  the  driver  and  postillions,  who 
had  thus  far  hidden  themselves,  and  were  eager 
ly  looking  at  the  dead. 

"  Off!"  cried  the  Senator,  in  an  awful  voice — 
"  Off!  you  white-livered  sneaks !  Let  me  find 
my  two  boys!'' 


CHAPTEE  XL VII. 

BAD   BRUISES,  BUT  GOOD   MUSES. — THE  HONORA 
BLE  SCARS  OF  DICK. — A  KNOWLEDGE  OF  BONES. 

THE  Senator  searched  long  'and  anxiously 
among  the  fallen  bandits  for  those  whom  he  af 
fectionately  called  his  "  boys."  Dick  was  first 
found.  He  was  senseless. 

The  Senator  carried  him  to  the  fire.  He  saw 
two  ladies  and  a  gentleman  standing  there. 
Hurriedly  he  called  on  them  and  pointed  to 
Dick.  The  gentleman  raised  his  arms.  They 
were  bound  tightly.  The  ladies  also  were  se 
cured  in  a  similar  manner.  The  Senator  quick 
ly  cut  the  cords  from  the  gentleman,  who  in  his 
turn  snatched  the  knife  and  freed  the  ladies, 
and  then  went  to  care  for -Dick. 

The  Senator  then  ran  back  to  seek  for  But 
tons. 

The  gentleman  flung  a  quantity  of  dry  brush 
on  the  fire,  which  at  once  blazed  up  and  threw 
a  bright  light  over  the  scene.  Meanwhile  the 
passengers  were  looking  anxiously  around  as 
though  they  dreaded  a  new  attack.  Some  of 
them  had  been  wounded  inside  the  coach  and 
were  groaning  and  cursing. 

The  Senator  searched  for  a  long  time  in  vain. 
At  last  at  the  bottom  of  a  heap  of  fallen  brig 
ands,  whom  the  Senator  had  knocked  over,  he 
found  Buttons.  His  face  and  clothes  were 
covered  with  blood,  his  forehead  was  blackened 


116 


THE  DODGE  CLUB  ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


as  though  by  an  explosion,  his  arm  was  broken 
and  hung  loosely  as  the  Senator  lifted  him  up. 
For  a  moment  he  thought  that  it  was  all  over 
with  him. 

He  carried  him  toward  the  fire.  The  ap 
pearance  of  the  young  man  was  terrible.  He 
beckoned  to  one  of  the  ladies.  The  lady  ap 
proached.  One  look  at  the  young  man  and 
the  next  instant,  with  a  heart-rending  moan, 
she  flung  herself  on  her  knees  by  his  side. 

"The  Spaniard!"  said  the  Senator,  recog 
nizing  her  for  the  first  time.  "Ah!  he'll  be 
taken  care  of  then."  • 

There  was  a  brook  near  by,  and  he  hurried 
there  for  water.  There  was  nothing  to  carry  it 
in,  so  he  took  his  beaver  hat  and  filled  it.  Re 
turning,  he  dashed  it  vigorously  in  Buttons's 
face.  A  faint  sigh,  a  gasp,  and  the  young  man 
feebly  opened  his  eyes.  Intense  pain  forced  a 
groan  from  him.  In  the  hasty  glance  that  he 
threw  around  he  saw  the  face  of  Ida  Fi  ancia  as 
she  bent  over  him  bathing  his  brow,  her  face 
pale  as  death,  her  hand  trembling,  and  her 
eyes  filled  with  tears.  The  sight  seemed  to 
alleviate  his  pain.  A  faint  smile  crossed  his 
lips.  He  half  raised  himself  toward  her. 

"  I've  found  you  at  last,"  he  said,  and  that 
was  all. 

At  this  abrupt  address  a  burning  flush  passed 
over  the  face  and  neck  of  the  young  girl.  She 
bent  down  her  head.  Her  tears  flowed  faster 
than  ever. 

"Don't  speak,"  she  said;  "you  are  in  too 
much  pain." 

She  was  right,  for  the  next  moment  Buttons 
fell  back  exhausted. 

The  Senator. drew  a  flask  from  his  pocket  and 
motioned  to  the  young  girl  to  give  some  to  But 
tons  ;  and  then,  thinking  that  the  attention  of 
the  Seuorita  would  be  far  better  than  his,  he 
hurried  away  to  Dick. 

So  well  had  he  been  treated  by  the  Don 
(whom  the  reader  has  of  course  already  recog 
nized)  that  he  was  now  sitting  up,  leaning 
against  the  driver  of  the  diligence,  who  was  mak 
ing  amends  for  his  cowardice  during  the  fight 
by  kind  attention  to  Dick  after  it  was  over. 

"My  dear  boy,  I  saw  you  had  no  bones 
broken, "said  the  Senator,  "and  knew  you  were 
all  right;  so  I  devoted  my  first  attention  to 
Buttons.  How  do  you  feel  ?" 

"Better,"  said  Dick,  pressing  the  honest 
hand  which  the  Senator  held  out.  "Better; 
but  how  is  Buttons  ?" 

"Recovering.  But  he  is  terribly  bruised, 
and  his  arm  is  broken." 

"His  arm  broken!  Poor  Buttons,  what'll 
he  do?" 

"  Well,  my  boy,  I'll  try  what  /can  do.  I've 
sot  an  arm  before  now.  In  our  region  a  neces 
sary  part  of  a  good  education  was  settin'  bones." 

Dick  was  wounded  in  several  places.  Leav 
ing  the  Don  to  attend  to  him  the  Senator  took 
his  knife  and  hurriedly  made  some  splints. 
Then  getting  his  valise,  he  tore  up  two  or  three 
of  his  shirts.  Armed  with  these  he  returned  to 


Buttons.     The  Sefiorita  saw  the  preparations, 
and,  weeping  bitterly,  she  retired. 

"Your  arm  is  broken,  my  poor  lad,"  said  the 
Senator.  "  Will  you  let  me  fix  it  for  you  ?  I 
can  do  it." 

"Can  you?  Oh,  then,  I  am  all  right!  I 
was  afraid  I  would  have  to  wait  till  I  got  to 
Bologna." 

"It  would  be  a  pretty  bad  arm  by  the  time 
you  got  there,  I  guess,"  said  the  Senator.  "But 
come — no  time  must  be  lost." 

His  simple  preparations  were  soon  made. 
Buttons  saw  that  he  knew  what  he  was  about. 
A  few  moments  of  excessive  pain,  which  forced 
ill-suppressed  moans  from  the  sufferer,  and  the 
work  was  done. 

After  taking  a  sip  from  the  flask  both  But 
tons  and  Dick  felt  very  much  stronger.  On 
questioning  the  driver  they  found  that  Bologna 
was  not  more  than  twenty  miles  away.  The 
passengers  were  busily  engaged  in  removing 
the  barricade.  It  was  decided  that  an  imme 
diate  departure  was  absolutely  necessary.  At 
the  suggestion  of  Dick,  the  driver,  postillions, 
and  passengers  armed  themselves  with  guns  of 
the  fallen  brigands. 

The  severest  wound  which  Dick  had  was  on 
his  head,  which  had  been  almost  laid  open  by 
a  terrifie  blow  from  the  gun  of  the  robber  chief. 
He  had  also  wounds  on  different  parts  of  his 
body.  Buttons  had  more.  These  the  Senator 
bound  up  with  such  skill  that  he  declared  him 
self  ready  to  resume  his  journey.  Upon  this 
the  Don  insisted  on  taking  him  into  his  own 
carriage.  Buttons  did  not  refuse. 

At  length  they  all  started,  the  diligence 
ahead,  the  Don  following.  On  the  way  the 
Don  told  Buttons  how  he  had  fared  on  the 
road.  He  had  left  Florence  in  a  hired  carriage 
the  day  before  the  diligence  had  left.  He  had 
heard  nothing  of  the  dangers  of  the  road,  and 
suspected  nothing.  Shortly  after  entering  the 
mountain  district  they  had  been  stopped  and 
robbed  of  all  their  money.  Still  he  kept  on, 
thinking  that  there  was  no  further  danger.  To 
his  horror  they  were  stopped  again  at  the  bridge, 
where  the  brigands,  vexed  at  not  getting  any 
money,  took  all  their  baggage  and  let  them  go. 
They  went  on  fearfully,  every  moment  dread 
ing  some  new  misadventure.  At  length  their 
worst  fears  were  realized.  At  the  place  where 
the  fight  had  occurred  they  were  stopped  and 
dragged  from  their  carriage.  The  brigands 
were  savage  at  not  getting  any  plunder,  and 
swore  they  would  hold  them  prisoners  till  they 
procured  a  ransom,  which  they  fixed  at  three 
thousand  piastres.  This  was  about  four  in  the 
afternoon.  They  overturned  the  coach,  kin 
dled  a  fire,  and  waited  for  the  diligence.  They 
knew  the  rest. 

Buttons,  seated  next  to  Ida  Francia,  forgot 
his  sufferings.  Meanwhile  Dick  and  the  Sen 
ator  resumed  their  old  seats  on  the  banquette. 
After  a  while  the  Senator  relapsed  into  a  fit  of 
musing,  and  Dick  fell  asleep. 

Morning  dawned  and  found  them   on  the 


THE  DODGE  CLUB ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


117 


plain  once  more,  only  a  few  miles  from  Bo 
logna.  Far  ahead  they  saw  the  lofty  Leaning 
Tower  that  forms  so  conspicuous  an  object  in 
the  fine  old  city.  Dick  awaked,  and  on  look 
ing  at  the  Senator  was  shocked  to  see  him  very 
pale,  with  an  expression  of  pain.  He  hurried 
ly  asked  the  cause. 

"  Why,  the  fact  is,  after  the  excitement  of 
fightin'  a'nd  slaughterin'  and  seein'  to  you  chaps 
was  over  I  found  that  I  was  covered  with 
wounds.  One  of  my  fingers  is  broken.  I  have 
three  bullet  wounds  in  my  left  arm,  one  in  my 
right,  a  stab  of  a  dirk  in  my  right  thigh,  and  a 
terrible  bruise  on  my  left  knee.  I  think  that 
some  fellow  must  have  passed  a  dagger  through 
my  left  foot,  for  there  is  a  cut  in  the  leather, 
mv  shoe  is  full  of  blood,  and  it  hurts  dreadful. 
It's  my  opinion  that  the  Dodge  Club  will  be 
laid  up  in  Bologny  for  a  fortnight.—  Hallo !' 

The  Senator  had  heard  a  cry  behind,  and 
looked  out.  Something  startled  him.  Dick 
looked  also. 

The  Don's  carriage  was  in  confusion, 
two  Senoritas  were  standing  up  in  the  carriage 
wringing  their  hands.     The  Don  was  support 
ing  Buttons  in  his  arms.     He  had  fainted  a 
second  time. 


CHAPTER  XLVIIL 

SUFFERING  AND  SENTIMENT  AT  BOLOGNA.— MOON 
SHINE. — BEST  BALM  FOB  WOUNDS. 

THEY  all  put  up  at  the  same  hotel.  Buttons 
was  carried  in  senseless,  and  it  was  long  before 
he  revived.  The  Senator  and  Dick  were  quite 
exhausted— stiff  with  fatigue,  stiff  with  wounds. 
There  was  one  thing,  however,  which  made 
their  present  situation  more  endurable.  The 
war  in  Lombardy  made  further  progress  im 
possible.  They  could  not  be  permitted  to  pass 
the  borders  into  Venetia.  Even  if  they  had 
been  perfectly  well  they  would  have  been  com 
pelled  to  wait  there  for  a  time. 

The  city  was  in  a  ferment.  The  deligh 
which  the  citizens  felt  at  their  new-found  free 
dom  was  mingled  with  a  dash  of  anxiety  abou 
the  result  of  the  war.  For,  in  spite  of  Solfermo 
it  was  probable  that  the  tide  of  victory  woulc 
be  hurled  back  from  the  Quadrilateral.  Stil 
they  kept  up  their  spirits ;  and  the  joy  of  thei 
hearts  found  vent  in  songs,  music,  processions 
Roman  candles,  Te  Deums,  sky-rockets,  volley 
of  cannon,  masses,  public  meetings,  patripti 
songs,  speeches,  tri-colors,  and  Italian  version 
of  "The  Marseillaise." 

In  a  short  time  the  Senator  was  almost  as 
well  as  ever.     Not  so  Dick.      After  strugglin 
heroically  for  the  first  day  against  his  pain  h 
succumbed,  and  on  the  morning  of  the  secon 
was  unable  to  leave  his  bed. 

The  Senator  would  not  leave  him.  Th 
kind  attention  which  he  had  once  before  show 
in  Rome  was  now  repeated.  He  spent  near 
all  his  time  in  Dick's  room,  talking  to  hi 


hen  he  was  awake,  and  looking  at  him  when 
sleep.     Dick  was  touched  to  the  heart. 

The  Senator  thought  that,  without  exception, 
Bologna  was  the  best  Italian  -city  that  he  had 
een.  It  had  a  solid  look.  The  people  were 
10t  such  everlasting  fools  as  the  Neapolitans, 
he  Romans,  and  the  Florentines,  who  thought 
hat  the  highest  end  of  life  was  to  make  pict 
ures  and  listen  to  music.  They  devoted  their 
•nergies  to  an  article  of  nourishment  which  was 
•alculated  to  benefit  the  world.  He  alluded  t. 
the  famous  Bologna  Sausage,  and  he  put  it  to 
Dick  seriously,  whether  the  manufacture  of  * 
sausage  which  was  so  eminently  adapted  1 
sustain  life  was  not  a  far  nobler  thing  than  the 
production  of  useless  pictures  for  the  pampered 
tastes  of  a  bloated  aristocracy. 

Meanwhile  Buttons  fared  differently, 
had  been  more  afflicted  he  was  now  more  blessed 
The  Don  seemed  to  think  that  the  sufferings  of 
Buttons  were  caused  by  himself,  or,  at  any  rate, 
by  the  eagerness  of  the  young  man  to  come  to 
the  assistance  of  his  sisters.     He  felt  gratfefi 
accordingly,  and  spared  no  pains  to  give  him 
assistance  and   relief.     He  procured  the  best 
medical  advice  in  the  city.     For  several  days 
the  poor  fellow  lay  in  a  very  dangerous  con 
dition,  hovering  between  life  and  death 
wounds  were  numerous  and  severe,  and  the  ex, 
citement  afterward,  with  the  fatigue  of  the  ride, 
had  made  his  situation  worse.     But  a  s 
constitution  was  on  his  side,  and  he  at  length 
was  able  to  leave  his  bed  and  his  room. 

He  was  as  pale  as  death,  and  woefully  ema 
ciated.      But  the  society  of  the  ladies  acted  like 


118 


THE  DODGE  CLUB  ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


a  charm  upon  him  ;  and  from  the  moment  when 
he  left  his  room  his  strength  came  back  rap 
idly.  ' 

He  would  have  liked  it  still  better  if  he  had 
been  able  to  see  the  younger  sister  alone ;  but 
that  was  impossible,  for  the  sisters  were  insep 
arable.  One  evening,  however,  the  Don  of 
fered  to  take  them  to  the  cathedral  to  see  some 
ceremony.  Ida  declined,  but  the  other  eager 
ly  accepted. 

So  Buttons  for  the  first  time  in  his  life  found 
himself  alone  with  the  maid  of  his  heart.  It 
was  a  solemn  season. 

Both  were  much  embarrassed.  Buttons 
looked  as  though  he  had  something  dreadful 
to  tell;  the  Seuorita  as  though  she  had  some 
thing  dreadful  to  hear.  At  length  Buttons 
began  to  tell  the  story  of  his  many  searches, 
pursuits,  wanderings,  etc.,  in  search  of  her,  and  i 
particularly  his  last  search  at  Florence,  in  which 
he  had  grown  disheartened,  and  had  made  up 
his  mind  to  follow  her  to  Spain.  At  last  he 
came  to  the  time  when  he  caught  up  to  them 
on  the  road.  He  had  seen  them  first.  His 
heart  told  him  that  one  of  the  ladies  was  Ida. 
Then  he  had  lost  all  control  of  himself,  and 
had  leaped  down  to  rescue  her. 

The  Spanish  nature  is  an  impetuous,  a  de 
monstrative,  a  fiery  nature.     The  Seiiorita  was  ] 
a  Spaniard.     As  Buttons  told  all  this  in  pas-  \ 
sionate  words,  to  which  his  ardent  love  gave  • 
resistless  eloquence,  her  whole  manner  showed  ' 
that  her  heart  responded.     An  uncontrollable 
excitement  filled  her  being ;  her  large,  lustrous 
eyes,  bright  with  the  glow  of  the  South,  now 
beamed  more  luminously  through  her  tears, 
and — in  short :    Buttons  felt  encouraged — and 
ventured  nearer — and,  almost  before  he  knew 
it  himself,  somehow  or  other,  his  arm  had  got 
round  a  slender  waist ! 

While  the  Seiiorita  trembled — timidly  drew 
back — and  then  all  was  still ! — except,  of  course, 
whisperings — and  broken  sentences — and  soft, 

sweet Well,  all  these  were  brought  to  an 

abrupt  close  by  the  return  of  the  Don  and  his 
sister. 

As  they  entered  the  room  they  saw  Buttons 
at  one  end,  and  the  Senorita  at  the  other.  The 
moonbeams  stole  in  softly  through  the  win 
dow. 

"Why  did  you  not  call  for  a  light  ?" 

"  Oh,  it  is  so  pleasant  in  the  moonshine !" 

At  the  end  of  a  few  weeks  there  came  the 
great,  the  unlooked-for,  the  unhoped-for  news 
— the  Peace  of  Villafranca !  So  war  was  over. 
Moreover,  the  road  was  open.  They  could  go 
wherever  they  wished. 

Buttons  was  now  strong  enough  to  travel. 
Dick  and  the  Senator  were  as  well  as  ever. 
The  news  of  the  Peace  was  delightful  to  the 
travellers. 

Not  so,  however,  to  the  Bolognese.      They 
railed  at  Napoleon.     They  forgot  all  that  he  ' 
had  done,  and  taunted  him  with  what  he  had 
neglected  to  do.      They  insulted  him.      They 


made  caricatures  of  him. 
dalous  reports  about  him. 
the  world. 


They  spread  scan- 
Such  is  the  way  of 


CHAPTER  XLIX. 

CROSSING    INTO    THE    ENEMY'S    COUNTRY. — CON 
STERNATION  OF  THE  CUSTOM-HOUSE  OFFICERS. 

THE  journey  was  a  pleasant  one.  The  Span 
iards  were  an  agreeable  addition  to  the  party 
in  the  estimation  of  others  than  Buttons.  The 
Senator  devoted  himself  particularly  to  the  eld 
er  sister.  Indeed,  his  acquaintance  with  La 
Cica,  as  he  afterward  confessed,  had  given  him 
a  taste  for  foreign  ladies.  He  carried  on  little 
conversations  with  the  Senorita  in  broken  En 
glish.  The  Seiiorita's  English  was  pretty,  but 
not  very  idiomatic.  The  Senator  imitated  her 
English  remarkably  well,  and  no  doubt  did  it 
out  of  compliment.  He  also  astonished  the 
company  by  speaking  at  the  very  top  of  a  voice 
whose  ordinary  tone  was  far  stronger  than  com 
mon. 

The  journey  from  Bologna  to  Ferrara  was 
not  diversified  by  any  incident.  Buttons  was 
rapidly  regaining  his  gayety  and  his  strength. 
He  wore  his  arm  in  a  sling,  it  is  true,  but 
thought  it  better  to  have  a  broken  arm  with  the 
Senorita  than  a  sound  one  without  her.  It 
must  be  confessed,  however,  that  his  happiness 
was  visible  not  so  mucli  in  lively  conversation 
as  in  his  flushed  cheek,  glistening  eye,  and  gen 
eral  air  of  ecstasy.  Moreover,  Ida  could  not 
speak  English  much — a  conversation  in  that 
language  was  difficult,  and  they  would  not  be 


BUTTOMS  IN   BUSS. 


THE  DODGE  CLUB ;  OK,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


110 


so  rude  to  the  Senator  as  to  talk  Spanish  in  his 
presence.  The  consequence  was  that  the  con 
versation  flagged,  and  the  Senator  was  by  far 
the  most  talkative  member  of  the  company,  and 
laid  out  all  his  strength  in  broken  English. 

Ferrara  was  reached  at  last,  and  they  put  up 
at  a  hotel  which  boasted  of  having  entertained 
in  its  day  any  quantity  of  kings,  emperors,  and 
nobles  of  every  European  nation.  It  is  an  as 
tonishing  town.  Vast  squares,  all  desolate ; 
great  cathedrals,  empty ;  proud  palaces,  neg 
lected  and  ruinous ;  broad  streets,  grass-grown 
and  empty ;  long  rows  of  houses,  without  in 
habitants  ;  it  presents  the  spectacle  of  a  city 
dying  without  hope  of  recovery.  The  Senator 
walked  through  every  street  in  Ferrara,  looked 
carelessly  at  Tasso's  dungeon,  and  seemed  to 
feel  relieved  when  they  left  the  city. 

On  arriving  at.  the  Po,  which  forms  the 
boundary  between  this  district  and  Venetia, 
they  underwent  some  examination  from  the  au 
thorities,  but  crossed  without  accident.  But  on 
the  other  side  they  found  the  Austrian  officials 
far  more  particular.  They  asked  a  multiplicity 
of  questions,  opened  every  trunk,  scanned  the 
passports,  and  detained  them  long.  The  ladies 
were  annoyed  in  a  similar  manner,  and  a  num 
ber  of  Eoman  and  Neapolitan  trinkets  which 
had  passed  the  Italian  doganas  were  now  taken 
from  them. 

Dick  had  a  valise,  both  compartments  of 
which  were  strapped  down  carefully.  Under  a 
calm  exterior  he  concealed  a  throbbing  heart, 
for  in  that  valise  was  the  Doctor's  pistol,  upon 
which  he  relied  in  anticipation  of  future  dan 
gers.  The  officials  opened  the  valise.  It  was 
apparently  a  puzzle  to  them.  They  found  but 
little  clothing.  On  the  contrary,  a  very  exten 
sive  assortment  of  articles  wrapped  in  paper  and 
labelled  very  neatly.  These  they  opened  one 
by  one  in  the  first  compartment,  and  found  the 
following : 

1,  Six  collars ;  2,  a  brick;  3,  lump  of  lime  ;  4,  pebbles  ; 
5,  plaster;  6,  ashes;  T,  paper;  8,  another  brick ;  i),  a  chip; 
10,  more  plaster;  11,  more  ashes  ;  12,  an  ink  bottle;  13, 
three  pair  stockings;  14,  more  ashes;  15,  more  ashes; 
16,  a  neck-tie ;  17,  a  bit  of  wood  ;  IS,  vial ;  19,  some  grass  ; 
2o,  bone;  21,  rag;  22,  stone;  23,  another  stone ;  24,  some 
more  grass  ;  25,  more  pebbles ;  26,  more  bones;  2T,  pot  of 
blacking ;  28,  slippers ;  29,  more  stones ;  30,  more  stones. 

The  officials  started  up  with  an  oath  apiece. 
Their  heavy  German  faces  confronted  Dick  with 
wrath  and  indignation,  and  every  separate  hair 
of  their  warlike  mustaches  stood  out.  How 
ever,  they  swallowed  their  rage,  and  turned  to 
the  others.  Dick  drew  a  long  breath  of  relief. 
The  pistol  was  safe.  It  had  been  taken  apart 
and  each  piece  wrapped  in  paper  and  labelled. 
Had  he  carried  it  about  with  him  it  would  have 
been  taken. 

The  Senator  thought  it  was  better  to  have 
three  battles  with  brigands  than  one  -encounter 
with  custom-house  officials.  He  had  a  little 
store  of  specimens  of  Italian  manufactures, 
which  were  all  taken  from  him.  One  thing 
struck  him  forcibly,  and  that  was  the  general 
superiority  of  the  Austrian  over  the  Koman  side. 


There  was  more  thrift,  neatness,  and  apparent 
prosperity.  His  sentiments  on  this  subject  were 
embodied  in  a  letter  home,  which  he  wrote  from 
Padua  on  a  dreary  evening  which  they  spent 
there  before  starting  for  Venice: 

"If  this  part  of  Italy  is  oppressed  by  Austria,  then  all 
I  can  say  is,  that  the  pressure  has  squeezed  an  immensu 
amount  of  vegetation  out  of  the  soil.  Passing  from  the 
Roman  territories  into  the  Austrian  is  like  going  from 
darkness  into  light,  or  from  Canada  into  the  United 
States.  What  kind  of  people  are  these  who  do  better 
under  foreign  rule  than  native?  In  my  opinion,  the  ter 
ritories  of  the  Pope  are  worse  than  those  of  other  rulers  in 
Italy.  A  Spanish  friend  of  mine  tells  me  that  it  is  be 
cause  the  thoughts  of  the  Pope's  subjectsare  set  not  on  things 
below,  but  on  things  on  high.  He  tells  me  that  we've  got 
to  choose  between  two  masters — Christianity  on  the  one 
hand,  and  Mammon  on  the  other.  Whoever  chooses  the 
latter  will  be  destitute  of  the  former.  He  gives  as  exam 
ples  of  this  France,  England,  and  America,  which  coun 
tries,  though  possessed  of  the  highest  material  blessings, 
are  yet  a  prey  to  crime,  scepticism,  doubt,  infidelity, 
heresy,  false  doctrine,  and  all  manner  of  similar  evils. 
Those  nations  which  prefer  religion  to  worldly  prosperity 
present  a  different  scene ;  and  he  points  to  Spain  and 
Italy — poor  in  this  world's  goods,  but  rich  in  faith— the 
only  evils  which  afflict  them  being  the  neighborhood  of 
unbelieving  nations." 


CHAPTER  L. 

VENICE  AND  ITS  PECULIAR  GLORY. — THE  DODGE 
CLUB  COME  TO  GRIEF  AT  LAST. — UP  A  TREE. — 
IN  A  NET,  ETC. 

FEW  sensations  are  so  singular  as  that  which 
the  traveller  experiences  on  his  first  approach  to 
Venice.  The  railway  passes  for  miles  through 
swamps,  pools,  ponds,  and  broken,  mud  banks, 
till  at  length,  bursting  away  altogether  from  the 
shore,  it  pushes  directly  out  into  the  sea.  Away 
goes  the  train  of  cars  over  the  long  viaduct, 
and  the  traveller  within  can  scarcely  understand 
the  situation.  The  firm  and  even  roll  and  the 
thunder  of  the  wheels  tell  of  solid  ground  be 
neath;  but  outside  of  the  windows  on  either 
side  there  is  nothing  but  a  wide  expanse  of  sea. 

At  length  the  city  is  reached.  The  train 
stops,  and  the  passenger  steps  out  into  the  sta 
tion-house.  But  what  a  station-house!  and 
what  a  city  !  There  is  the  usual  shouting  from 
carriers  and  cabmen,  but  none  of  that  deep  roar 
of  a  large  city  which  in  every  other  place  drones 
heavily  into  the  traveller's  ear. 

Going  out  to  what  he  thinks  is  a  street,  the 
traveller  finds  merely  a  canal.  Where  are  the 
(Carriages,  cabs,  caleches,  hand-carts,  barouches, 
pony  -  carriages,  carryalls,  wagons,  hansoms, 
hackneys,  wheelbarrows,  broughams,  dog-carts, 
buggies?  "Where  are  the  horses,  inares,  dogs, 
pigs,  ponies,  oxen,  cows,  cats,  colts,  calves,  and 
live-stock  generally  ? 

Nowhere.  There's  not  a  wheeled  carriage 
in  the  place.  It  may  be  doubted  if  there  is 
a  dog.  There  certainly  is  not  a  cow.  The 
people  use  goats'  milk.  The  horse  is  as  un 
known  as  the  pterodactyl,  icthyosaurus,  dodo, 
iguanodon,  mastodon,  great  awk.  How  do  they 
go  about?  Where  are  the  conveniences  for 
moving  to  and  fro? 

Then,  at  the  platform  of  the  station,  a  score 
or  two  of  light  gondolas  await  you.  Tho  gon- 


120 


THE  DODGE  CLUB ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


DICK'S  LUGGAGE. 


dplier  is  the  cabman.  He  waits  for  you,  with 
his  hand  toward  you,  and  the  true  "Keb,  Sir!" 
tone  and  smile.  A  double-sized  gondola  is  here 
called  an  "  omnibus,"  and  the  name  is  painted 
on  the  side  in  huge  letters.  And  these  are  the 
substitutes  for  wheeled  vehicles. 

Now  after  entering  one  of  these  you  go  along 
smoothly  and  noiselessly.     The  first  thing  on 
notices  in  Venice  is  the  absence  of  noise.     As 
the  boat  goes  along  the  only  sound  that  is  hear 
is  the  sharp  cry  from  the  boatman  as  he  ap 
proaches  a  corner.     At  first  the  novelty  inter 
ests  the  mind,  afterward  it  afflicts  the  spirits 
In  three  days  most  people  leave  the  citv  in  i 
kind  of  panic.     The  stillness  is  awful.     A  long 
er  stay  would   reduce  one   to  a  state  of  mel 
ancholy  madness.     A  few  poets,  however,  have 
been  able  to  endure,  and  even  to  love,  the  sepul 
chral  stillness  of  the  city.     But  to  appreciate 
Venice  one  must  be  strongly  poetical. 

There  are  many  things  to  be  seen.  First  of 
all,  there  is  the  city  itself,  one  grand  curiosity, 
unique,  with  nothing  on  earth  that  bears  a  dis 
tant  approach  to  it.  Its  canals,  gondolas, 
antique  monuments,  Byzantine  architecture, 
bridges,  mystery :  its  pretty  women  with  black 
lace  veils,  the  true  glory  of  Venice— though 
Murray  says  nothing  about  them. 

For  Murray,  in  what  was  meant  to  be  an  ex 
haustive  description  of  Venice,  has  omitted  all 
mention  of  that  which  makes  it.  what  it  is. 
Whereas  if  it  had  been  Homer  instead  of  Murray 
he  would  have  rolled  out  the  following  epithets : 
rim7MKO.fj.OL,  aKa^ai,  ^opo^eZf,  ijvKOfioi,  podoTrj)- 
Xesf,  ipaTEivai,  Ka/2iirM>Kafioi,  eA/ce^/Towff,  KV- 


,     i[j.ep6eaaai, 


The  travellers  visited  the  whole  round  of  sights. 
They  remained  in  company  and  went  about  in 
the  same  gondola.  The  Senator  admired  what 
he  saw  as  much  as  any  of  them,  though  it  ap 
peared  to  be  out  of  his  particular  line.  It  was 
not  the  Cathedral  of  St.  Mark's,  however,  nor 
the  Doge's  Palace,  nor  the  Court  of  the  Inquisi 
tion,  nor  the  Bridge  of  Sighs,  nor  the  Rialto, 
that  interested  him,  but  rather  the  spectacle  of 
all  these  magnificent  edifices  around  him,  with 
all  the  massive  masonry  of  a  vast  city,  built  up 
laboriously  on  the  uncertain  sand.  He  admired 
the  Venetians  who  had  done  this.  To  such  men, 
he  thought,  the  commerce  of  the  world  might 
well  have  belonged.  In  discussing  the  causes 
of  the  decline  of  Venice  he  summed  up  the  sub 
ject  in  a  few  words,  and  in  the  clearest  possible 
manner. 

"  These  Venetians,  when  they  sot  up  shop, 
were  in  the  principal  street  of  the  world—  the 
Mediterranean.  They  had  the  best  stand  in  the 
street.  They  did  work  up  their  business  uncom 
mon  well  now,  and  no  mistake.  They  made 
money  hand  over  fist,  and  whatever  advantage 
could  be  given  by  energy,  capital,and  a  good  loca- 
ion,  they  got.  But  the  currents  of  traffic  change 
n  the  world  just  as  they  do  in  a  city.  After  a 
vhile  it  passed  in  another  direction.  Venice 
vas  thrown  out  altogether.  She  had  no  more 
hance  than  a  New  York  shop  would  have  after 
he  business  that  it  lived  on  had  gone  into  an 
ther  street.  Hence,"  said  the  Senator—  he  al- 
rays  said  "hence"  when  he  was  coming  to  a 


THE  DODGE  CLUB  ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


121 


triumphant  conclusion — "hence  the  downfall 
of  Venice." 

On  arriving  at  their  hotel  a  little  circumstance 
occurred  which  made  them  look  at  Venice  from 
a  new  and  startling  point  of  view.  On  going 
to  their  rooms  after  dinner  they  were  followed 
by  a  file  of  Austrian  soldiers.  They  wanted  to 
see  the  passports.  They  requested  this  in  a 
thick  guttural  tone,  which  made  the  Americans 
feel  quite  nervous.  They  showed  the  passports 
nevertheless. 

On  looking  over  them  the  Austrian  soldiers  ar 
rested  them.  They  were  informed  that  if  they 
went  peaceably  they  would  be  well  treated,  but 
if  they  made  any  resistance  they  would  all  be 
bound. 

The  Americans  remonstrated.  No  use.  A 
thousand  conjectures  were  made  as  to  the  cause 
of  their  arrest,  but  they  were  completely  baffled. 
Before  they  could  arrive  at  any  conclusion  they 
had  arrived  at  the  place  of  their  destination,  to 
which  they  had,  of  course,  been  taken  in  a  gon 
dola.  It  was  too  dark  to  distinguish  the  place, 
but  it  looked  like  a  large  and  gloomy  edifice. 
The  soldiers  took  them  to  a  room,  where  they 


locked  them  all  in  together.  It  was  a  comforta 
ble  apartment,  with  another  larger  one  opening 
from  it,  in  which  were  two  beds  and  two  couches. 
Evidently  they  were  not  neglected. 

After  waiting  for  half  the  night  in  a  kind  of 
fever  they  retired  to  rest.  They  slept  but  little. 
They  rose  early,  and  at  about  seven  o'clock 
breakfast  was  brought  in  to  them,  with  a  guard 
of  soldiers  following  the  waiters. 

After  breakfast  they  were  visited  again.  This 
time  it  was  a  legal  gentleman.  They  did  not 
know  who  he  was,  but  he  gave  them  to  under 
stand  that  he  was  a  person  high  in  authority. 
He  questioned  them  very  closely  as  to  their  bus 
iness  in  Venice,  but  did  his  questioning  in  a 
courteous  manner.  After  about  an  hour  he 
left. 

Lunch  was  brought  in  at  one  o'clock.  Their 
feelings  at  being  treated  in  this  mysterious  man 
ner  can  be  imagined.  Such  neglect  of  the 
rights  of  man — such  trifling  with  his  time  and 
patience — such  utter  disregard  of  habeas  corpus, 
awaked  indignation  which  words  could  not  ex 
press. 

Positively  they  were  treated  like  dumb  cattle ; 


122 


THE  DODGE  CLUB  ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


locked  up,  fed,  deprived  of  liberty  and  fresh  air ; 
no  communication  with  friends  outside;  and, 
worst  of  all,  no  idea  in  the  world  of  the  cause 
of  their  imprisonment.  They  came  to  the  con 
clusion  that  they  were  mistaken  for  some  other 
parties  —  for  some  Oacciatori  degli  Alpi ;  and 
Buttons  insisted  that  the  Senator  was  supposed 
to  be  Garibaldi  himself.  In  these  troublous 
times  any  idea,  however  absurd,  might  be  acted 
upon. 

At  about  three  in  the  afternoon  the  door  was 
thrown  open,  and  a  file  of  soldiers  appeared. 
An  officer  approached  and  requested  the  prison 
ers  to  follow.  They  did  so.  They  passed  along 
many  halls,  and  at  length  came  to  a  large  room. 
A  long  table  extended  nearly  from  one  end  to 
another.  Soldiers  were  arranged  down  the  sides 
of  the  apartment. 

At  the  head  of  the  table  sat  an  elderly  man, 
with  a  stern  face,  ferocious  mustache,  sharp  eye, 
bushy  gray  eyebrows,  and  universal  air  of  Mars. 
His  uniform  showed  him  to  be  a  General.  By 
his  side  was  their  visitor  of  the  morning.  Offi 
cials  sat  at  the  table. 

"Silence!" 


CHAPTER  LI. 

THE  AMERICAN  EAGLE  AND  THE  AUSTRIAN  DOUB 
LE-HEADED  DITTO. 

AT  the  command  of  the  Austrian  General 
every  body  became  still.  Thereupon  he  motion 
ed  to  the  prisoners  to  stand  at  the  bottom  of  the 
table.  They  did  so.  The  General  took  a  long 


stare  at  the  prisoners,  particularly  at  the  Senator. 
They  bore  it  steadily.  As  for  the  Senator,  he 
regarded  the  other  with  an  expression  which 
would  have  done  honor  to  the  Austrian  General's 
own  father. 

"Who  are  you?" 

The  General  spoke  in  German.  The  legal 
gentleman  at  his  side  instantly  interpreted  it 
into  English. 

"Americans." 

"Ah !  dangerous  characters — dangerous  char 
acters  !  What  is  your  business?" 

"Travellers." 

' '  Travellers  ?  Ah  !  But  what  are  your  oc 
cupations  in  America?" 

"  Our  passports  tell." 

"Your  passports  say — '  Gentlemen.'  " 

"  Well,  we  are  gentlemen." 

The  Austrian  looked  blank.  After  a  while 
he  resumed ;  and  as  he  directed  his  glance  to 
the  Senator  the  latter  made  all  the  replies,  while 
the  Interpreter  served  as  a  medium  of  commu 
nication. 

"  How  long  have  you  been  in  Italy  ?" 

"Two  or  three  months." 

"You  came  here  just  about  the  conrmence- 
ment  of  these  difficulties?" 

"Yes — the  beginning  of  the  war." 

"  Where  did  you  land  ?" 

"At  Naples." 

"Naples?  Ha!  hm!  Where  did  you  go 
next  ?" 

"To  Rome.  We  stayed  there  a  few  weeks 
and  then  went  to  Florence  ;  from  Florence  to 
Bologna,  and  thence  through  Ferrara  and  Pa 
dua  to  Venice." 

"  You  went  to  Florence !  How  long  ago  did 
did  you  leave  ?" 

"About  a  month  ago." 

' '  A  month !     Ah,  hm ! " 

And  the  General  exchanged  glances  with  the 
legal  gentleman  at  his  side. 

"What  were  you  doing  in  Florence?" 

"  Seeing  the  city." 

"Did you  place  yourselves  in  connection  with 
the  Revolutionists? 

"No." 

"  Did  you  have  any  thing  to  do  with  the  em 
issaries  of  Garibaldi?" 

"  Nothing." 

"  Take  care  how  you  deny." 

"  We  say  we  know  nothing  at  all  either  of 
the  Revolutionists  or  Imperialists  or  Garibaldi- 
ans  or  any  other  party.  We  are  merely  travel 
lers." 

"  Hm — a  strong  disavowment,"  said  the  Gen 
eral  to  himself.  "  You  have  never  in  any  way 
countenanced  the  rebels." 

"No." 

"  Think  before  you  speak." 
"We  are  free  Americans.  Perhaps  you  know 
that  the  citizens  of  that  country  say  what  they 
think  and  do  what  they  like.  We  have  gone  on 
that  rule  in  Italy.  What  I  say  is,  that  we  do 
not  know  any  thing  about  rebels  or  tiny  political 
parties  in  the  country." 


THE  DODGE  CLUB  ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


123 


"  Do  you  know  La  Cica?"  asked  the  Gen 
eral,  with  the  air  of  a  man  who  was  putting  a 
home  -  thrust,  and  speaking  with  uncommon 
fierceness. 

"I  do,"  said  the  Senator,  mildly. 

"You  know  her  well?  You  are  one  of  her 
intimate  friends  ?" 

"Ami?' 

"  Are  you  not  ?" 

"  I  am  friendly  with  her.  She  is  an  estima 
ble  woman,  with  much  feeling  and  penetration  " 
— and  a  fond  regret  exhibited  itself  in  the  face 
of  the  speaker. 

"  Well,  Sir,  you  may  as  well  confess.  We 
inow  you,  Sir.  We  know  you.  You  are  one 
of  the  chosen  associates  of  that  infamous  Gari- 
jaldian  plotter  and  assassin,  whose  hotel  is  the 
iot-bed  of  conspiracy  and  revolution.  We 
mow  you.  Do  you  dare  to  come  here  and  deny 
t?" 

"  I  did  not  come  here ;  I  was  brought.  I  do 
not  deny  that  you  know  me,  though  I  haven't 
the  pleasure  of  knowing  you.  But  I  do  deny 
that  I  am  the  associate  of  conspirators." 

"Are  you  not  the  American  whom  La  Cica 
so  particularly  distinguished  with  her  favor?" 

"I  have  reason  to  believe  that  she  was  par- 
;ial  to  me — somewhat." 

'He  confesses!"  said  the  General.  "You 
came  from  her  to  this  place,  communicating  on 
the  way  with  her  emissaries." 

'  I  communicated  on  the  way  with  none  but 
)rigands  among  the  mountains.  If  they  were 
ler  emissaries  I  wish  her  joy  of  them.  My 
means  of  communication,"  said  the  Senator, 
while  a  grim  smile  passed  over  his  face,  "was 
an  iron  crow-bar,  and  my  remarks  left  some  deep 
impression  on  them,  I  do  believe." 

"Tell  me  now — and  tell  me  truly,"  said  the 
General  after  a  pause,  in  which  he  seemed  try 
ing' to  make  out  whether  the  Senator  was  joking 
or  not.  "  To  whom  are  you  sent  in  this  city  ?" 

"To  no  one." 

"  Sir !  I  warn  you  that  I  will  not  be  trifled 
with." 

"I  tell  you,"  said  the  Senator,  with  no  appar 
ent  excitement,  "  I  tell  you  that  I  have  come 
here  to  no  one.  What  more  can  I  say?" 

"  You  must  confess." 

"I  have  nothing  to  confess." 

"Sir!  you  have  much  to  confess,"  cried  the 
General,  angrily,  "  and  I  swear  to  you  I  will 
wring  it  out  of  you.  Beware  how  you  trifle 
with  my  patience.  If  you  wish  to  regain  your 
liberty  confess  at  once,  and  you  may  escape  your 
just  punishment.  But  if  you  refuse,  then,  by 
the  immortal  gods,  I'll  shut  you  up  in  a  dungeon 
for  ten  years ! " 

"  You  will  do  no  such  thing." 

"  What !"  roared  the  General.     "  Won't  I ?" 

"You  will  not.  On  the  contrary,  you  will 
have  to  make  apologies  for  these  insults." 

' '  I ! — Apologies !     Insults ! " 

The  General  gnawed  his  mustache,  and  his 
eyes  blazed  in  fury. 

"  You  have  arrested  us  on  a  false  charge, 


based  on  some  slanderous  or  stupid  information 
of  some  of  your  infernal  spies,"  said  the  Senator. 
"What  right  have  you  to  pry  into  the  private 
affairs  of  an  American  traveller?  We  have 
nothing  to  do  with  you." 

"  You  are  associated  with  conspirators.  Yon 
are  charged  with  treasonable  correspondence 
with  rebels.  You  countenanced  revolution  in 
Florence.  You  openly  took  part  with  Republic 
ans.  You  are  a  notorious  friend  of  La  Cica. 
And  you  came  here  with  the  intention  of  fo 
menting  treason  in  Venice!" 

"Whoever  told  you  that,"replied  the  Sena 
tor,  "  told  infernal  lies — most  infernal  lies.  I 
am  no  emissary  of  any  party.  I  am  a  private 
traveller." 

"  Sir,  we  have  correspondents  in  Florence  on 
whom  we  can  rely  better  than  on  you.  They 
watched  you." 

"  Then  the  best  thing  you  can  do  is  to  dismiss 
those  correspondents  and  get  rogues  who  have 
half  an  idea." 

' '  Sir,  I  tell  you  that  they  watched  you  well. 
You  had  better  confess  all.  Your  antecedents 
in  Florence  are  known.  You  are  in  a  position 
of  imminent  danger.  I  tell  you — beware  !" 

The  General  said  this  in  an  awful  voice, 
which  was  meant  to  strike  terror  into  the  soul 
of  his  captive.  The  Senator  looked  back  into 
his  eyes  with  an  expression  of  calm  scorn.  His 
form  seemed  to  grow  larger,  and  his  eyes  dilated 
as  he  spoke : 

"  Then  you,  General,  I  tell  you — beware ! 
Do  you  know  who  you've  got  hold  of  ? — No  con 
spirator  ;  no  infernal  /talian  bandit,  or  Dutch 
man  either ;  but  an  American  citizen.  Your 
Government  has  already  tried  the  temper  of 
Americans  on  one  or  two  remarkable  occasions. 
Don't  try  it  on  a  third  time,  and  don't  try  it  on 
with  me.  Since  you  want  to  know  who  I  am 
I'll  tell  you.  I,  Sir,  am  an  American  Senator. 
I  take  an  active  and  prominent  part  in  the  gov 
ernment  of  that  great  and  glorious  country.  I 
represent  a  constituency  of  several  hundred 
thousand.  You  tell  me  to  beware.  I  tell  you 
— BEWARE  !  for,  by  the  Eternal !  if  you  don't 
let  me  go,  I  swear  to  you  that  you'll  have  to  give 
me  up  at  the  cannon's  mouth.  I  swear  to  you 
if  you  don't  let  me  off  by  evening  I  won't  go  at 
all  till  I  am  delivered  up  with  humble  and  am 
ple  apologies,  both  to  us  and  to  our  country, 
whom  you  have  insulted  in  our  persons." 

"  Sir,  you  are  bold  !" 

"Bold  !  Send  for  the  American  Consul  of 
this  city  and  see  if  he  don't  corroborate  this. 
But  you  had  better  make  haste,  for  if  you  subject 
me  to  further  disgrace  it  will  be  the  worse  for 
your  Government,  and  particularly  for  you,  my 
friend.  You'll  have  the  town  battered  down 
about  your  ears:  Don't  get  another  nation  down 
on  you,  and,  above  all,  don't  let  that  nation  be 
the  American.  What  I  tell  you  is  the  solemn 
truth,  and  if  you  don't  mind  it  you  will  know  it 
some  day  to  your  sorrow." 

Whatever  the  cause  may  have  been  the  com 
pany  present,  including  even  the  General",  were 


124 


THE  DODGE  CLUB  ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


'DON'T  TBY  IT  ON  WITH  ME!' 


impressed  by  the  Senator's  words.  The  an 
nouncement  of  his  dignity;  the  venerable  title 
of  Senator  ;  the  mention  of  his  "  constituency," 
a  word  the  more  formidable  from  not  being  at 
all  understood — all  combined  to  fill  them  with 
respect  and  even  awe. 

So  at  his  proposal  to  send  for  the  American 
Consul  the  General  gave  orders  to  a  messenger 
who  went  off  at  once  in  search  of  that  function 
ary. 


CHAPTER  LIT. 

THE  SENATOR  STILL  ENGAGED  IN  FACING  DOWN 
THE  AUSTRIAN.  —  THE  AMERICAN  CONSUL.  — 
UNEXPECTED  RE-APPEARANCE  OF  FORGOTTEN 
THINGS. — COLLAPSE  OF  THE  COURT. 

THE  American  Consul  soon  made  his  appear 
ance.  Not  having  had  any  thing  to  do  for 
months,  the  prospect  of  business  gave  wings  to 
his  feet.  Moreover,  he  felt  a  very  natural  de 
sire  to  help  a  countryman  in  trouble.  Upon 
entering  the  hall  he  cast  a  rapid  look  around, 
and  seemed  surprised  at  so  august  a  tribunal. 
For  in  the  General's  martial  form  he  saw  no 
less  a  person  than  the  Austrian  Commandant. 

The  Consul  bowed  and  then  looked  at  the 
prisoners.  As  his  eye  fell  upon  the  Senator  it 
lighted  up,  and  his  face  assumed  an  expression 
of  the  most  friendly  interest.  Evidently  a  rec 
ognition.  The  Austrian  Commandant  address 
ed  the  Consul  directly  in  German. 

"  Do  you  know  the  prisoners  ?" 

"I  know  one  of  them." 

"  He  is  here  under  a  very  heavy  accusation. 


I  have  well-substantiated  charges  by  which  he  is 
implicated  in  treason  and  conspiracy.  He  has 
been  connected  with  Revolutionists  of  the  worst 
stamp  in  Florence,  and  there  is  strong  proof 
that  he  has  come  here  to  communicate  with  Rev 
olutionists  in  this  city." 

"  Who  accuses  him  of  this  ?     Are  they  here  ?" 

"  No,  but  they  have  written  from  Florence 
warning  me  of  his  journey  here." 

"Does  the  prisoner  confess  ?"  » 

"  Of  course  not.  He  denies.  He  requested 
me  to  send  for  you.  I  don't  want  to  be  unjust, 
so  if  you  have  any  thing  to  say,  say  on." 

"These  charges  are  impossible." 

"Impossible?" 

"  He  is  altogether  a  different  man  from  what 
you  suppose.  He  is  an  eminent  member  of  the 
American  Senate.  Any  charges  made  against 
one  like  him  will  have  to  be  well  substantiated ; 
and  any  injury  done  to  him  will  be  dangerous 
in  the  highest  degree.  Unless  you  have  unde 
niable  proofs  of  his  guilt  it  will  be  best  to  free 
him  at  once — or  else — " 

"  Or  else  what?" 

"  Or  else  there  will  be  very  grave  complica 
tions." 

The  Commandant  looked  doubtful.  The 
others  impassive.  Buttons  and  Dick  interested. 
The  Senator  calm.  Again  the  Commandant 
turned  to  the  Senator,  his  remarks  being  inter 
preted  as  before. 

"  How  does  it  happen  that  yon  were  so  par 
ticularly  intimate  with  all  the  Revolutionists  in 
Florence,  and  an  habitue  of  La  Cica's  salon  ? 
that  your  mission  was  well  known  throughout 


THE  DODGE  CLUB  ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


the  city  ?  that  you  publicly  acknowledged  the 
Florentine  rebellion  in  a  speech  ?  that  the  people 
carried  you  home  in  triumph  ?  and  that  imme 
diately  before  leaving  you  received  private  in 
structions  from  La  Cica  ?" 

"  To  your  questions,"  said  the  Senator,  with 
unabated  dignity,  "  I  will  reply  in  brief :  First, 
I  am  a  free  and  independent  citizen  of  the  great 
and  glorious  American  Republic.  If  I  associ 
ated  with  Revolutionists  in  Florence,  I  did  so 
because  I  arn  accustomed  to  choose  my  own  so 
ciety,  and  not  to  recognize  any  law  or  any  mas 
ter  that  can  forbid  my  doing  so.  I  deny,  how-  , 
ever,  that  I  was  in  any  way  connected  with 
plots,  rebellions,  or  conspiracies.  Secondly,  I 
was  friendly  with  the  Countess  because  I  con 
sidered  her  a  most  remarkably  fine  woman, 
and  because  she  showed  a  disposition  to  be  j 
friendly  with  me — a  stranger  in  a  strange  land. 
Thirdly,  I  have  no  mission  of  any  kind  what 
ever.  I  am  a  traveller  for  self-improvement.  I 
have  no  business  political  or  commercial.  So  ; 
that  my  mission  could  not  have  been  known. 
If  people  talked  about  me  they  talked  nonsense. 
Fourthly,  I  confess  I  made  a  speech,  but  what  of 
that  ?  It's  not  the  first  time,  by  a  long  chalk. 
I  don't  know  what  you  mean  by  '  acknowledg 
ing.'  As  a  private  citizen  I  congratulated  ' 
them  on  their  success,  and  would  do  so  again. 
If  a  crowd  calls  on  me  for  a  speech,  I'm  thar ! 
The  people  of  Florence  dragged  me  home  in  a 
carriage.  Well,  I  don't  know  why  they  did  so. 
I  can't  help  it  if  people  will  take  possession  of  ' 
me  and  pull  me  about.  Fifthly,  and  lastly,  I 
had  an  interview  with  the  Countess,  had  I? 
Well,  is  it  wrong  for  a  man  to  bid  good-bye  to 
a  friend  ?  I  ask  you,  what  upon  earth  do  you 
mean  by  such  a  charge  as  that?  Do  you  take 
me  for  a  puling  infant  ?" 

"On  that  occasion,"  said  the  Commandant, 
"  she  taught  you  some  mysterious  words  which 
were  to  be  repeated  among  the  Revolutionists 
here." 

"Never  did  anything  of  the  kind.  That's 
a  complete  full-blown  fiction." 

"  I  have  the  very  words." 

"That's  impossible.  You've  got  hold  of  the 
wrong  man  I  see." 

"  I  will  have  them  read, "  said  the  General, 
solemnly. 

And  he  beckoned  to  the  Interpreter.  Where 
upon  the  Interpreter  gravely  took  out  a  formi 
dable  roll  of  papers  from  his  breast,  and  opened 
it.  Every  gesture  was  made  as  though  his 
hand  was  heavy  with  the  weight  of  crushing 
proof.  At  last  a  paper  was  produced.  The 
Interpreter  took  one  look  at  the  prisoner,  then 
glanced  triumphantly  at  the  Consul,  and  said  : 

"It  is  a  mysterious  language  with  no  appar 
ent  meaning,  nor  have  I  been  able  to  find  the 
key  to  it  in  any  way.  It  is  very  skillfully 
made,  for  all  the  usual  tests  of  cipher  writing 
fail  in  this.  The  person  who  procured  it  did 
not  get  near  enough  till  the  latter  part  of  the 
interview,  so  that  he  gained  no  explanation 
whatever  from  the  conversation." 


"Read, "said  the  Commandant.  The  Sena 
tor  waited,  wonderingly.  The  Interpreter  read : 

"  Ma  ouillina  sola  ouda  ate  enxoce  fremos  dis  cmsit  an- 
sin  assalef  a  aue  tu  off  a  lastinna  belts." 

Scarcely  had  the  first  words  been  uttered  in 
the  Italian  voice  of  the  reader  than  the  Sen 
ator  started  as  though  a  shot  had  struck  him. 
His  face  flushed.  Finally  a  broad  grin  spread 
itself  over  his  countenance,  and  down  his  neck, 
and  over  his  chest,  and  over  his  form,  and  into 
his  boots,  till  at  last  his  whole  colossal  frame 
shook  with  an  earthquake  of  laughter. 

The  Commandant  stared  and  looked  uneasy, 
All  looked  at  the  Senator — all  with  amaze 
ment — the  General,  the  Interpreter,  the  Offi 
cials,  the  Guards,  Buttons,  Dick,  and  the  Ameri 
can  Consul. 

"Oh  dear!  Oh  de-ar !  Oh  DBEE-AR!" 
cried  the  Senator,  in  the  intervals  of  his  out 
rageous  peals  of  laughter.  "OH  !"  and  a  new 
peal  followed. 

What  did  all  this  mean  ?  Was  he  crazy  ? 
Had  misfortunes  turned  his  brain  ? 

But  at  last  the  Senator,  who  was  always  re 
markable  for  his  self-control,  recovered  himself. 
He  asked  the  Commandant  if  he  might  be  per 
mitted  to  explain. 

"  Certainly,"  said  the  Commandant,  doleful 
ly.  He  was  afraid  that  the  thing  would  take  a 
ridiculous  turn,  and  nothing  is  so  terrible  as  that 
to  an  Austrian  official. 

"Will  you  allow  me  to  look  at  the  paper?" 
asked  the  Senator.  "  I  will  not  injure  it  at  all." 

The  Interpreter  politely  carried  it  to  him  as 
the  Commandant  nodded.  The  Senator  beck 
oned  to  the  Consul.  They  then  walked  up  to 
the  Commandant.  All  four  looked  at  the  paper. 

"You  see,  gentlemen,"  said  the  Senator, 
drawing  a  lead  pencil  from  his  pocket,  "the 
Florence  correspondent  has  been  too  sharp.  I 
can  explain  all  this  at  once.  I  was  with  the 
Countess,  and  we  got  talking  of  poetry.  Now, 
I  don't  know  any  more  about  poetry  than  a 
horse." 

"Well?" 

"Well,  she  insisted  on  my  making  a  quota 
tion.  I  had  to  give  in.  The  only  one  I  could 
think  of  was  a  line  or  two  from  Watts." 

"  Watts  ?  Ah  !  I  don't  know  him,"  said  the 
Interpreter. 

"  He  was  a  minister — a  parson." 

"Ah!" 

"  So  I  said  it  to  her,  and  she  repeated  it. 
These  friends  of  yours,  General,  have  taken  it 
down,  but  their  spellin'  is  a  little  unusual,"  said 
the  Senator,  with  a  tremendous  grin  that  threat 
ened  a  new  outburst. 

"  Look.  Here  is  the  true  key  which  this 
gentleman  tried  so  hard  to  find." 

And  taking  his  pencil  the  Senator  wrote  un 
der  the  strange  words  the  true  meaning : 

u  My  willing  soul  would  stay 
In  such  a  frame  as  this, 
And  sit  and  sing  herself  away 
To  everlasting  bliss." 

The  Interpreter  saw  it  all.     He  looked  pro- 


126 


THE  DODGE  CLUB ;  OK,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


foundly  foolish.  The  whole  thing  was  clear. 
The  Senator's  innocence  was  plain.  He  turned 
to  explain  to  the  Commandant.  The  Consul's 
face  exhibited  a  variety  of  expressions,  over 
which  a  broad  grimace  finally  predominated, 
like  sunshine  over  an  April  sky.  In  a  few  words 
the  whole  was  made  plain  to  the  Commandant. 
He  looked  annoyed,  glared  angrily  at  the  Inter 
preter,  tossed  the  papers  on  the  floor,  and  rose 
to  his  feet. 

"  Give  these  gentlemen  our  apologies,"  said  he 
to  the  Interpreter.  "  In  times  of  trouble,  when 
States  have  to  be  held  subject  to  martial  law, 
proceedings  are  abrupt.  Their  own  good  sense 
will,  I  trust,  enable  them  to  appreciate  the  diffi 
culty  of  our  position.  They  are  at  liberty." 

At  liberty !  No  sooner  were  the  words  spok 
en  than  the  prisoners  bowed  and  left,  in  com 
pany  with  the  Consul,  who  eagerly  shook  hands 
with  all  three,  particularly  the  Senator,  who,  as 
they  were  leaving,  was  heard  to  whisper  some 
thing  in  which  these  words  were  audible : 

"  Wa'al,  old  hoss !  The  American  eagle 
showed  it  claws,  anyhow." 


CHAPTER  LIH. 

A  MYSTERIOUS  FLIGHT. — DESPAIR  OF  BUTTONS. — 
PURSUIT. —  HISTORIC  GROUND,  AND  HISTORIC 
CITIES. 

IT  was  about  seven  o'clock  in  the  evening 
when  they  reached  their  hotel.  Every  thing 
was  as  they  had  left  it.  Some  trifles  had  oc- 
cuned,  such  as  a  general  overhaul  of  the  bag 


gage,  in  which  the  Doctor's  pistol  had  again 
miraculously  escaped  seizure.  Buttons  went 
immediately  to  call  on  the  Spaniards,  but  their 
apartment  was  closed.  Supposing  that  they 
were  out  about  the  town,  he  returned  to  his 
friends. 

During  their  memorable  captivity  they  had 
eaten  but  little,  and  now  nothing  was  more  wel 
come  than  a  dinner.  So  they  ordered  the  very 
best  that  the  hotel  could  supply,  and  made  the 
American  Consul  stay.  Buttons  did  not  give 
himself  up  so  completely  as  the  rest  to  the  hi 
larity  of  the  occasion.  Something  was  on  his 
mind.  So  he  took  advantage  of  a  conversation 
in  which  the  Senator  was  giving  the  Consul  an 
animated  description  of  the  fight  with  the  brig 
ands,  and  the  pluck  of  his  two  "boys,"  and 
stole  out  of  the  room.  Whereupon  the  Sena 
tor  stopped  and  remarked — 

"  Hang  these  fellows  that  are  in  love  !" 

"  Certainly,"  said  Dick.  "They  often  hang 
themselves,  or  feel  like  it." 

"  Of  course  Buttons  is  on  his  usual  errand." 

"  Of  course." 

"  It  seems  to  me  that  his  foreign  travel  has 
become  nothing  but  one  long  chase  after  that 
gal.  He  is  certainly  most  uncommon  devoted." 

Scarce  had  these  words  been  spoken  when 
the  door  was  flung  open,  and  Buttons  made  his 
appearance,  much  agitated. 

"What's  the  matter?"  cried  Dick.  "The 
Spaniards!"  "Well?"  "They're  off!"  "Off?" 
"Gone!"  "Where?"  "Away  from  Venice." 
"When?"  "I  don't  know.""  "Why?"  "I 
don't  know." 

"  What  sent  them  ?  It  looks  as  though  they 
were  running  away  from  you  on  purpose." 

"They're  off,  at  any  rate,"  cried  Buttons. 
"  I  went  to  their  room.  It  was  open.  The 
servants  were  fixing  it  up.  I  asked  why.  They 
said  the  Spaniards  had  left  Venice  early  this 
morning.  They  did  not  know  any  thing  more." 

"  Strange !" 

"  Strange,  of  course.  It's  so  sudden.  Their 
plans  were  laid  out  for  a  week  in  Venice." 

' '  Perhaps  they  were  frightened  at  our  advent 
ure." 

Buttons  sprung  to  the  bell  and  pulled  it  vig 
orously.  Then  lie  rushed  to  the  door  and  flung 
it  open.  Five  or  six  waiters  came  tumbling  in. 
They  had  all  been  listening  at  the  key-hole. 

"  Where's  the  chief  waiter  ?" 

"Here,"  said  that  functionary,  approaching. 

"Come  here.  You  may  retire,"  said  But 
tons  to  the  others.  They  went  out  reluctantly. 

"Now,  my  friend,"  said  he,  putting  some  pi 
astres  in  the  hand  of  the  chief  waiter.  "  Think, 
and  answer  me  right.  Where  are  the  Span 
iards — a  gentleman  and  two  ladies — who  came 
here  with  us  ?" 

"They  have  left  the  city." 

"  When  ?" 

"  At  six  this  morning,  by  the  first  train." 

"  Why  did  they  leave  ?" 

"  A  hint  came  from  the  Commandant." 

"  From  him.    Ah  !     What  about  ?" 


THE  DODGE  CLUB  ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


127 


"Why — you  know — your  Excellencies  were 
waited  on  by  a  deputation." 

"We  were  arrested.     Well?" 

"  Well,  these  Spaniards  were  friends  of 
yours. " 

"Yes." 

"That  connection  made  them  suspected." 

"  Diavolo !" 

"  Such  is  the  melancholy  fact.  There  was 
no  cause  strong  enough  to  lead  to  their  arrest. 
It  would  have  been  inconvenient.  So  the  Com 
mandant  sent  a  message,  immediately  after  your 
Excellency's  lamentable  arrest,  to  warn  them — '' 

"  What  of?" 

"That -they  had  better  leave  the  country  at 
once." 

"  Yes,  but  that  didn't  force  them  to  go." 

"  Ah,  Signore !  Do  you  not  know  what 
such  a  warning  is  ?  There  is  no  refusal." 

"  And  so  they  left." 

"At  six  by  the  train." 

"Where  to?" 

"  Signore,  they  had  their  passports  made 
out  for  Milan." 

"Milan!" 

' '  Certainly.  It  was  necessary  for  them  not 
only  to  leave  Venice,  but  Venetia." 

"Very  well.  When  does  the  next  train 
leave  ?" 

"  Not  till  to-morrow  morning  at  six." 

"You  must  call  us  then  at  five,  for  we  are 
going.  Here,  take  our  passports  and  get  them 
vised;"  and  having  explained  matters  to  the 
Senator,  Buttons  found  no  need  of  persuasion 


to  induce  them  to  quit  the  city,  so  the  passports 
were  handed  over  to  the  waiter. 

So  at  six  the  next  morning  they  went  flying 
over  the  sea,  over  the  lagoons,  over  the  marshes, 
over  the  plains,  away  toward  Lombardy. 

They  had  to  stop  for  a  while  at  Verona, 
waiting  to  comply  with  "some  formalities." 
They  had  time  to  walk  about  the  town  and  see 
the  Roman  ruins  and  the  fortifications.  Of  all 
these  much  might  be  said,  if  it  were  not  to  be 
found  already  in  Guide-books,  Letters  of  Corre 
spondents,  Books  of  Travel,  Gazetteers,  and  Il 
lustrated  Newspapers.  Our  travellers  saw 
enough  of  the  mighty  military  works,  in  a  brief 
survey,  to  make  them  thoroughly  comprehend 
the  Peace  of  Villafranca.  In  the  neighborhood 
of  Solferino  they  left  the  train  to  inspect  the 
scene  of  battle.  Only  a  month  had  passed  since 
the  terrific  contest,  and  the  traces  remained  vis 
ible  on  every  side.  The  peasants  had  made 
two  trenches  of  enormous  size.  In  one  of  these 
the  bodies  of  the  Austrians  had  been  buried,  in 
the  other  those  of  the  French  and  Italians.  In 
one  place  there  was  a  vast  heap  of  arms,  which 
had  been  gathered  from  off  the  field.  There 
was  no  piece  among  them  which  was  not  bent 
or  broken.  All  were  of  the  best  construction 
and  latest  pattern,  but  had  seen  their  day. 
Shattered  trees,  battered  walls,  crumbling 
houses,  deep  ruts  in  the  earth,  appeared  on 
every  side  to  show  where  the  battle  had  raged  ; 
yet  already  the  grass,  in  its  swift  growth,  had 
obliterated  the  chief  marks  of  the  tremendous 
conflict. 

At  length  they  arrived  at  Milan.  The  city 
presented  a  most  imposing  appearance.  Its 
natural  situation,  its  magnificent  works  of  archi 
tecture,  its  stately  arches  and  majestic  avenues 
presented  an  appearance  which  was  now  height 
ened  by  the  presence  of  victory.  It  was  as 
though  the  entire  population  had  given  them 
selves  up  to  rejoicing.  The  evil  spirit  had  been 
cast  out,  and  the  house  thoroughly  swept  and 
garnished.  The  streets  were  filled  with  gay 
multitudes ;  the  avenues  resounded  with  the 
thrilling  strains  of  the  Marseillaise,  repeated  ev 
erywhere  ;  every  window  displayed  the  portrait 
of  Napoleon,  Victor  Emanuel,  or  Garibaldi,  and 
from  every  house-top  flaunted  the  tri-color.  The 
heavy  weight  imposed  by  the  military  rule — the 
iron  hand,  the  cruelty,  the  bands  of  spies,  the 
innumerable  soldiers  sent  forth  by  Austria — 
had  been  lifted  off,  and  in  the  first  reaction  of 
perfect  liberty  the  whole  population  rushed  into 
the  wildest  demonstrations  of  joy  and  gayety. 
The  churches  were  all  marked  by  the  perpetual 
presence  of  the  emblems  of  Holy  Peace,  and 
Heavenly  Faith,  and  Immortal  Hope.  The 
sublime  Cathedral,  from  all  its  marble  population 
of  sculptured  saints  and  from  all  its  thousands  of 
pinnacles,  sent  up  one  constant  song.  Through 
the  streets  marched  soldiers — regular,  irregular, 
horse,  foot,  and  dragoons  ;  cannon  thundered  at 
intervals  through  every  day ;  volunteer  militia 
companies  sprang  up  like  butterflies  to  Hush 
their  gay  uniforms  in  the  sun. 


128 


THE  DODGE  CLUB  ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


It  was  not  the  season  for  theatres.  La  Scala 
had  opened  for  a  few  nights  when  Napoleon 
and  Victor  Emanuel  where  here,  but  had  closed 
again.  Not  so  the  smaller  theatres.  Less  dig 
nified,  they  could  burst  forth  unrestrained.  Es 
pecially  the  Day  Theatres,  places  formed  some 
what  on  the  ancient  model,  with  open  roofs. 
In  these  the  spectators  can  smoke.  Here  the 
performance  begins  at  five  or  six  and  ends  at 
dark.  All  the  theatres  on  this  season,  day  or 
night  alike,  burst  forth  into  joy.  The  war  was 
the  universal  subject.  Cannon,  fighting,  sol 
diers,  gunpowder,  saltpetre,  sulphur,  fury,  ex 
plosions,  wounds,  bombardments,  grenadiers,  ar 
tillery,  drum,  gun,  trumpet,  blunderbuss,  and 
thunder !  Just  at  that  time  the  piece  which 
was  having  the  greatest  run  was  THE  VICTORY 
of  SOLFERINO  ! 

Two  theatres  exhibited  this  piece  with  all 
the  pomp  and  circumstance  of  glorious  war. 
Another  put  out  in  a  pantomime  "The  Battle 
of  Malegnano ! " 

Another,  "  The  Fight  at  Magenta !"  But  per 
haps  the  most  popular  of  all  was  "GARIBALDI 
IN  VARESE,  od  I  CACCIATORI  DEGLI  ALPI  !" 


CHAPTER  LIV. 

DICK  MEETS  AN  OLD  FRIEND.  —  THE  EMOTIONAL 
NATURE  OF  THE  ITALIAN. — THE  SENATOR  OVER 
COME  AND  DUMBFOUNDED. 

THE  day  of  their  arrival  at  Milan  was-  dis 
tinguished  by  a  pleasing  circumstance.  Buttons 
found  the  Spaniards,  and  was  happy.  And  by 
another  circumstance,  scarcely  less  pleasing, 
Dick  found  an  old  acquaintance. 

On  this  wise: 

Finding  himself  in  Milan  he  suddenly  called 
to  mind  an  old  friend  with  whom  he  bad  been 
intimate  in  Boston.  He  had  been  exiled  from 
Italy  on  account  of  his  connection  with  the 
movements  of  1848.  He  had  fled  to  America, 
and  had  taken  with  him  barely  enough  to  live 
on.  For  five  years  he  had  lived  in  Boston  un 
der  the  plain  name  of  Hugh  Airey.  Then  Dick 
met  with  him,  and  had  been  attracted  by  the 
polished  manners,  melancholy  air,  and  high 
spirit  of  the  unfortunate  exile.  In  the  course 
of  time  their  acquaintance  ripened  into  intimate 
friendship.  Dick  introduced  him  to  all  his 
friends,  and  did  all  in  his  power  to  make  his 
life  pleasant.  From  him  he  had  learned  Ital 
ian,  and  under  his  guidance  formed  a  wide  and 
deep  acquaintance  with  Italian  literature.  In 
1858  Mr.  Airey  decided  to  return  to  Italy  and 
live  in  Turin  till  the  return  of  better  days.  Be 
fore  leaving  he  confided  to  Dick  the  fact  that 
he  belonged  to  one  of  the  oldest  families  in 
Lombardy,  and  that  he  was  the  Count  Ugo  di 
Gonfaloniere.  The  exile  bade  Dick  and  all 
his  friends  good-bye  and  departed.  Since  then 
Dick  had  heard  from  him  but  once.  The  Count 
was  happy,  and  hopeful  of  a  speedy  return  of 
better  days  for  his  country.  His  hopes  had 
been  realized,  as  the  world  knows. 


THE  COUNT  UGO. 


Dick  had  no  difficulty  in  finding  out  where 
he  lived,  and  went  to  call  on  him.  It  was  a 
magnificent  palace.  Throngs  of  servants  were 
around  the  entrance.  Dick  sent  up  his  name, 
and  was  conducted  by  a  servant  to  an  ante 
chamber.  Scarcely  had  he  finished  a  hasty 
survey  of  the  apartment  when  hurried  footsteps 
were  heard.  He  turned.  The  Count  came 
rushing  into  the  room,  flushed  and  trembling, 
and  without  a  word  threw  himself  into  Dick's 
arms,  embraced  him,  and  kissed  him.  It  was  a 
trying  moment  for  Dick.  Nothing  is  so  fright 
ful  to  a  man  of  the  Anglo-Saxon  race  as  to  be 
hugged  and  kissed  by  a  man.  However,  Dick 
felt  deeply  touched  at  the  emotion  of  his  friend 
and  his  grateful  remembrance  of  himself. 

"  This  is  a  circumstance  most  unexpected!" 
cried  the  Count.  "  Why  did  you  not  write  and 
tell  me  that  you  were  coming,  my  dearest  friend? 
I  did  not  know  that  you  were  in  Italy.  But 
perhaps  you  wished  to  give  me  a  surprise  ?" 
And  then  the  Count  asked  after  all  the  friends 
in  America,  for  whom  he  still  evinced  the  ten- 
derest  attachment. 

On  being  questioned  he  related  his  own  sub 
sequent  adventures.  After  leaving  America  he 
went  at  once  to  Turin.  Though  proscribed  in 
Lombardy  he  was  free  in  Piedmont.  He  man 
aged  to  communicate  secretly  with  his  relatives 
in  Milan,  and  lived  comfortably.  At  length  he 
became  aware  of  the  great  movement  on  foot 
which  ended  in  the  Italian  war.  He  had  thrown 
himself  altogether  in  the  good  cause,  and,  with 
out  being  at  all  disheartened  by  his  former  mis 
fortunes,  he  embarked  energetically  in  the  cur 
rent  of  events.  He  was  at  once  recognized  by  • 


r 


THE  DODGE  CLUB  ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCL1X. 


129 


the  Sardinian  Government  as  a  powerful  re- ' 
emit,  and  appointed  to  an  important  military 
command.  Finally  war  was  declared.  The 
French  came,  the  Count  had  taken  a  conspicu 
ous  part  in  the  dVents  of  the  war,  had  been 
present  at  every  battle,  and  had  been  promoted 
for  his  gallant  conduct.  Fortunately  he  had 
not  once  been  wounded. 

On  the  occupation  of  Milan  by  the  Allies  he 
had  regained  all  his  rights,  titles,  privileges,  and 
estates.  He  was  a  happy  man.  His  ten  years 
of  exile  had  given  him  a  higher  capacity  for  en 
joyment.  He  looked  forward  to  a  life  of  honor 
and  usefulness.  He  had  found  joy  harder  to 
endure  than  grief ;  the  reunion  with  all  his  old 
friends  and  relations,'  the  presence  of  all  the  fa 
miliar  scenes  of  his  native  land  had  all  well-nigh 
overcome  him.  Yet  he  assured  Dick  that  no 
friend  with  whom  he  had  met  was  more  welcome 
to  his  sight  than  he,  and  the  joy  that  he  felt  at 
seeing  him  had  only  been  exceeded  once  in  his 
life — that  one  time  having  been  on  the  occasion 
of  the  entrance  of  the  Allies  into  Milan. 

-  And  now  that  he  was  here,  where  was  his 
luggage  ?     Did  he  come   without  it  ?     There  ! 
was  certainly  only  one  place  in  the  city  where  ! 
he  could  stop.      He  must  remain  nowhere  else 
but  here.    Dick  modestly  excused  himself.    He  j 
was  scarcely  prepared.     He  was  travelling  in  ! 
company  with  friends,  and  would  hardly  like  to  | 
leave  them.       The  Count  looked  reproachfully 
at  him.     Did  he  hesitate  about  that  ?     Why,  ] 
his  .friends  also  must  come.    He  would  have  no 
refusal.     They  all  must  come.    They  would  be 
as  welcome  as  himself.   He  would  go  with  Dick 
to  his  hotel  in  person  and  bring  his  friends  there. 

In  a  short  time  the  Count  and  Dick  had 
driven  to  the  hotel,  where  the  former  pressed 
upon  the  Senator  and  Buttons  an  invitation  to 
his  house.      They  were  not  allowed  to  refuse, 
but  were  taken  away,  and  before  they  fairly  un-  ; 
derstood  the  unexpected  occurrence  they  were  i 
all  installed   in  magnificent  apartments  in  the , 
Palazzo  Gonfaloniere. 

Buttons's  acquaintance  with  the  language, 
literature,  manners,  and  customs  of  Italy  made 
him  appreciate  his  advantages ;  the  friendship 
of  the  Count  prevented  Dick  from  feeling  oth 
erwise  than  perfectly  at  home ;  and  as  for  the 
Senator,  if  it  had  been  possible  for  him  to  feel 
otherwise,  his  experience  of  high  life  at  Flor 
ence  would  have  enabled  him  to  bear  himself 
serenely  here.  His  complete  self-possession, 
his  unfaltering  gaze,  his  calm  countenance,  were 
never  for  a  moment  disturbed. 

The  Count  had  been  long  enough  in  Amer 
ica  to  appreciate  a  man  of  the  stamp  of  the 
Senator ;  he  therefore  from  the  very  first  treat 
ed  him  with  marked  respect,  which  was  height 
ened  when  Dick  told  him  of  the  Senator's 
achievements  during  the  past  few  weeks.  The 
brilliant  society  which  surrounded  the  Count 
was  quite  different  from  that  which  the  Senator 
had  found  in  Florence.  The  people  were 
equally  cultivated,  but  more  serious.  They  had 
less  excitability,  but  more  deep  feeling.  Milan, 


indeed,  had  borne  her  burden  far  differently 
from  Florence.  Both  hated  the  foreigner ;  but 
the  latter  could  be  gay,  and  smiling,  and  trifling 
even  under  her  chains ;  this  the  former  could 
never  be.  The  thoughtful,  earnest,  and  some 
what  pensive  Milanese  was  more  to  the  Sena 
tor's  taste  than  the  brilliant  and  giddy  Floren 
tine.  These,  thought  he,  may  well  be  a  free 
people. 

Moreover,  the  Senator  visited  the  Grand  Ca 
thedral,  and  ascended  to  the  summit.  Arriv 
ing  there  his  thoughts  were  not  taken  up  by  the 
innumerable  statues  of  snow-white  marble,  or 
the  countless  pinnacles  of  exquisite  sculpture 
that  extended  all  around  like  a  sacred  forest 
filled  with  saints  and  angels,  but  rather  to  the 
scene  that  lay  beyond. 

There  spread  away  a  prospect  which  was  su 
perior  in  his  eyes  to  any  thing  that  he  had  ever 
seen  before,  nor  had  it  ever  entered  his  mind  to 
conceive  such  a  matchless  scene.  The  wide 
plains  of  Lombardy,  green,  glorious,  golden  with 
the  richest  and  most  inexhaustible  fertility; 
vast  oceans  of  grain  and  rice,  with  islands  of. 
dark-green  trees  that  bore  untold  wealth  of  all 
manner  of  fruit ;  white  villas,  little  hamlets, 
close-packed  villages,  dotted  the  wide  expanse, 
with  the  larger  forms  of  many  a  populous  town. 
He  looked  to  the  north  and  to  the  west.  The 
plain  spread  away  for  many  a  league,  till  the 
purple  mountains  arose  as  a  barrier,  rising  up 
till  they  touched  the  everlasting  ice.  He  looked 
to  the  east  and  south.  There  the  plains  stretch 
ed  away  to  the  horizon  in  illimitable  extent. 

"What  a  country !  All  cleared  too!  Ev 
ery  acre. !  And  the  villages  !  Why,  there  are 
thousands  if  there  is  one  !  Dear  !  dear !  dear ! 
How  can  I  have  the  heart  to  blow  about  New 
England  or  Boston  after  that  there  !  Buttons, 
why  don't  somebody  tell  about  all  this  to  the 
folks  at  home  and  stop  their  everlasting  brag 
ging?  But" — after  along  pause — "I'll  do  it! 
I'll  do  it! — this  very  night.  I'll  write  about  it 
to  our  paper!" 


CHAPTER  LV. 

IN  WHICH  BUTTONS  WRITES  A  LETTER;  AND  IN 
WHICH  THE  CLUB  LOSES  AN  IMPORTANT  MEM 
BER. — SMALL  BY  DEGREES  AND  BEAUTIFULLY 

LESS. 

BUT  all  things,  however  pleasant,  must  have 
an  end,  so  their  stay  in  Milan  soon  approached 
its  termination. 

Buttons  and  the  Senator  were  both  quite  will 
ing  to  leave.  The  departure  of  the  Spaniards 
had -taken  away  the  charm  of  Milan.  They  had 
already  returned  to  Spain,  and  had  urged  But 
tons  very  strongly  to  accompany  them.  It  cost 
him  a  great  struggle  to  decline,  but  he  did  so 
from  certain  conscientious  motives,  and  promised 
to  do  so  after  going  to  Paris.  So  there  was  an 
agonizing  separation,  and  all  that.  At  his  room 
Buttons  unbosomed  himself  to  his  friends. 

"  I'll  begin  at  the  beginning, "said  he,  direct 
ing  his  remarks  more  particularly  to  the  Senator. 


130 


THE  DODGE  CLUB  ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


"  My  father  is  a  rich  man,  though  you  may 
not  think  I  live  very  much  like  a  rich  man's 
son.  The  fact  is,  he  is  dreadfully  afraid  that  I 
will  turn  out  a  spendthrift.  So  he  gave  me  only 
a  moderate  sum  on  which  to  travel  on  through 
Europe.  So  far  I  have  succeeded  very  well. 
Excuse  my  blushes  while  I  make  the  sweet  con 
fession.  The  Senorita  whom  we  all  admire  will, 
some  of  these  days,  I  trust,  exchange  the  music 
al  name  of  Francia  for  the  plainer  one  of  But 
tons." 

The  Senator  smiled  with  mild  and  paternal 
approbation,  and  shook  Buttons  by  the  hand. 

"It's  all  arranged,"  continued  Buttons,  with 
sweet  confusion.  "Now,  under  the  circum 
stances,  you  might  think  it  natural  that  I  should 
go  back  with  them  to  Spain." 

"  I  should  certainly.     Why  don't  you  ?" 

"  For  two  reasons.  The  first  is,  1  have  bare 
ly  enough  tin  left  to  take  me  to  Paris." 

At  once  both  the  Senator  and  Dick  offered 
to  make  unlimited  advances.  Buttons  made  a 
deprecatory  gesture. 

"I  know  well  that  I  could  look  to  you  for 
any  help  in  any  way.  But  that  is  not  the  rea 
son  why  I  don't  go  to  Spain.  I  have  money 
enough  for  my  wants  if  I  don't  go  there." 

"  What  is  the  real  reason,  then?" 

"Well,  I  thought  that  in  an  affair  of  this 
kind  it  would  be  just  as  well  to  get  the  Gov 
ernor's  concurrence,  and  so  I  thought  I'd  drop  a 
line  to  him.  I've  just  got  the  letter  written, 
and  I'll  put  it  in  the  mail  this  evening." 

"You  have  done  right,  my  boy,"  said  the 
Senator,  paternally.  "There  are  many  excel 
lent  reasons  for  getting  your  father's  consent  in 
an  affair  like  this." 

"  I  don't  mind  reading  you  what  I  have  writ 
ten,"  said  Buttons,  "if  you  care  about  hearing 
it." 

"  Oh,  if  you  have  no  objection,  we  should  like 
to  hear  very  much,"  said  Dick. 

Whereupon  Buttons,  taking  a  letter  from  his 
pocket,  read  as  follows : 

"  DEAR  FATHER,— I  have  endeavored  to  follow  out  your 
instructions  and  be  as  economical  as  possible. 

11  During  my  tour  through  Italy  1  have  made  the  ac 
quaintance  of  the  senior  member  of  the  house  of  Francia, 
in  Cadiz,  a  gentleman  with  whom  you  are  acquainted. 
He  was  travelling  with  his  two  sister.->.  The  younger  one 
is  very  amiable.  As  I  know  you  would  like  to  see  me  set 
tled  I  have  requested  her  hand  in  marriage. 

"  As  I  wish  to  be  married  before  my  return  I  thought 
I  would  let  you  know.  Of  course  in  allying  myself  to  a 
member  of  so  wealthy  a  family  I  will  need  to  do  it  in  good 
style.  Whatever  you  can  send  me  will  therefore  be  quite 
acceptable. 

"  Please  reply  immediately  on  receipt  of  this,  address 
ing  me  at  Paris  as  before. 

"  And  very  much  oblige  E.  BUTTONS." 

"  Well,"  said  the  Senator,  "that's  a  sensible 
letter.  It's  to  the  point.  I'm  glad  to  see  that 
you  are  not  so  foolish  as  most  lads  in  your  sit 
uation.  Why  should  not  a  man  talk  as  wisely 
about  a  partnership  of  this  kind  as  of  any  other? 
I  do  declare  that  these  rhapsodies,  this  high 
blown,  high-flown,  sentimental  twaddle  is  nau 
seating." 

"You  see,  Dick, "said  Buttons,  "I  must  write 
a  letter  which  will  have  weight  with  the  old 


gentleman.  He  likes  the  terse  business  style. 
I  think  that  little  hint  about  her  fortune  is  well 
managed  too.  That's  a  great  deal  better  than 
boring  him  with  the  state  of  my  affections.  Isn't 
it?"  * 

"  There's  nothing  like  adapting  your  style  to 
the  disposition  of  the  person  you  address,"  said 
Dick. 

"  Well,  said  the  Senator,  "  you  propose  to 
start  to-morrow,  do  you  ?" 

"Yes,"  said  Buttons. 

"I'm  agreed  then.  I  was  just  beginning  to 
get  used  up  myself.  I'm  an  active  man,  and 
when  I've  squeezed  all  thejuice  out  of  a  place  I1 
want  to  throw  it  away  and  go  to  another.  What 
do  you  say,  Dick  ?  You  are  silent." 

"  Well,  to  tell  the  truth,"  said  Dick,  "I  don't 
care  about  leaving  just  yet.  Gonfaloniere  ex 
pects  me  to  stay  longer,  and  he  would  feel  hurt 
if  I  hurried  off.  I  am  very  sorry  that  you  are 
both  going.  It  would  be  capital  if  you  could 
only  wait  here  a  month  or  so." 

"A  month!"  cried  Buttons.  "I  couldn't 
stand  it  another  day.  Will  nothing  induce  you 
to  come  ?  What  can  we  do  without  you  ?" 

"What  can  I  do  without  you?"  said  Dick, 
with  some  emotion. 

"Well,  Dick,"  said  the  Senator,  "I'm  really 
pained.  I  feel  something  like  a  sense  of  be 
reavement  at  the  very  idea.  I  thought,  of 
course,  we  would  keep  together  till  our  feet 
touched  the  sacred  soil  once  more.  But  Heav 
en  seems  to  have  ordained  it  otherwise.  I  felt 
bad  when  Figgs  r,nd  the  Doctor  left  us  at  Flor 
ence,  but  now  I  feel  worse  by  a  long  chalk. 
Can't  you  manage  to  come  along  nohow?" 

"No,"  said  Dick.  "I  really  can  not.  I 
really  must  stay." 

"What!  must!" 

"Yes,  must!" 

The  Senator  sighed. 


CHAPTER  LVI. 

THE  FAITHFUL  ONE !  —  DARTS,  DISTRACTION, 
LOVE'S  VOWS,  OVERPOWERING  SCENE  AT  THE 
MEETING  OF  TWO  FOND  ONES.  —  COMPLETE 
BREAK-DOWN  OF  THE  HISTORIAN. 

ABOUT  a  month  after  the  departure  of  the 
Senator  and  Buttons  from  Milan,  Dick  re-ap 
peared  upon  the  scene  at  Rome,  in  front  of  the 
little  church  which  had  borne  so  prominent  a 
part  in  his  fortunes;  true  to  his  love,  to  his 
hopes,  to  his  promises,  with  undiminished  ardor 
and  unabated  resolution.  He  found  the  Padre 
Liguori  there,  who  at  once  took  him  to  his  room 
in  a  building  adjoining  the  church. 

"  Welcome  !"  said  he,  in  a  tone  of  the  deep 
est  pleasure.  "Welcome!  It  has  been  more 
than  a  passing  fancy,  then." 

"  It  is  the  only  real  purpose  of  my  life,  I  as 
sure  you." 

"  I  must  believe  you,"  said  Liguori,  pressing 
his  hand  once  more. 

"  And  now,  where  is  Pepita  ?" 


THE  DODGE  CLUB  ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLIX. 


131 


"  She  is  in  Home." 

"  May  I  see  her  at  once  ?" 

"  How  at  once  ?" 

"Well,  to-day." 

"No,  not  to-day f  Her  brother  wishes  to  see 
you  first.  I  must  go  and  let  them  both  know 
that  you  are  here.  But  she  is  well  and  has 
been  so." 

Dick  looked  relieved.  After  some  conversa 
tion  Liguori  told  Dick  to  return  in  an  hour,  and 
he  could  see  the  Count.  After  waiting  most 
impatiently  Dick  came  back  again  in  an  hour. 
On  entering  he  found  Luigi.  He  was  dress 
ed  as  a  gentleman  this  time.  He  was  a 
strongly  knit,  well-made  man  of  about  thirty, 
with  strikingly  handsome  and  aristocratic  feat 
ures. 

"Let  me  make  my  peace  with  you  at  once," 
said  he,  with  the  utmost  courtesy.  "You  are 
a  brave  man,  and  must  be  generous.  I  have 
done  you  wrongs  for  which  I  shall  never  forgive 
myself;"  and  taking  Dick's  outstretched  hand, 
he  pressed  it  heartily. 

"  Say  nothing  about  it,  I  beg,"  said  Dick ; 
"  you  were  justified  in  what  you  did,  though 
you  may  have  been  a  little  hasty." 

"  Had  I  not  been  blinded  by  passion  I  would 
have  been  incapable  of  such  a  piece  of  coward 
ice.  But  I  have  had  much  to  endure,  and  I 
was  always  afraid  about  her." 

With  the  utmost  frankness  the  two  men  re 
ceived  each  other's  explanations,  and  the  great 
est  cordiality  arose  at  once.  Dick  insisted  on 
Luigi's  taking  dinner  with  him,  and  Luigi, 
laughingly  declaring  that  it  would  be  a  sign  of 
peace  to  eat  bread  and  salt  together,  went  with 
Dick  to  his  hotel. 

As  they  entered  Dick's  apartments  Gonfa- 
loniere  was  lounging  near  the  window.  He  had 
accompanied  Dick  to  Rome.  He  started  at  the 
sight  of  Luigi. 

"God  in  Heaven !"  he  cried,  bounding  to  his 
feet. 

"  Ugo  !"  exclaimed  the  other. 

"Luigi!" 

And  the  two  men,  in  true  Italian  fashion, 
sprang  into  one  another's  arms. 

"And  is  my  best  friend,  and  oldest  friend, 
the  brother  of  your  betrothed?"  asked  Gonfa- 
loniere  of  Dick. 

But  Dick  only  nodded.  He  was  quite  mys 
tified  by  all  this.  An  explanation,  however, 
was  soon  made.  The  two  had  been  educated 
together,  and  had  fought  side  by  side  in  the 
great  movements  of  '48,  under  Garibaldi,  and 
in  Lombardy. 

For  full  an  hour  these  two  friends  asked  one 
another  a  torrent  of  questions.  Luigi  asked 
Gonfaloniere  about  his  exile  in  America  ;  where 
upon  the  other  described  that  exile  in  glowing 
terms — how  he  landed  in  Boston,  how  Dick, 
then  little  more  than  a  lad,  became  acquainted 
with  him,  and  how  true  a  friend  he  had  been  in 
his  misery.  The  animated  words  of  Gonfalon 
iere  produced  a  striking  effect.  Luigi  swore 
eternal  friendship  with  Dick,  and  finally  de 


clared  that  he  must  come  and  see  Pepita  that 
very  day. 

So,  leaving  Gonfaloniere  with  the  promise  of 
seeing  him  again,  Luigi  walked  with  Dick  out 
to  the  place  where  he  lived.  The  reason  why 
he  had  not  wanted  him  to  see  Pepita  that  day 
was  because  he  was  ashamed  of  their  lodgings. 
But  that  had  passed,  and  as  he  understood  Dick 
better  he  saw  there  was  no  reason  for  such 
shame.  It  was  a  house  within  a  few  rods  of 
the  church. 

Dick's  heart  throbbed  violently  as  he  entered 
the  door  after  Luigi  and  ascended  the  steps  in 
side  the  court-yard.  Luigi  pointed  to  a  door 
and  drew  back. 


Dick  knocked. 
The  door  opened. 
"Pepita!" 


' 


To  describe  such  a  meeting  is  simply  out  of 
the  question. 

"I  knew  you  would  come,"  said  she,  after 
about  one  solid  hour,  in  which  not  a  single  in 
telligible  word  was  uttered. 

"  And  for  you !     Oh,  Pepita  !" 

"You  do  not  think  now  that  I  was  cruel?" 
and  a  warm  flush  overspread  the  lovely  face  of 
the  young  girl. 

"Cruel!"  (and  Dick  makes  her  see  that  he 
positively  does  not  think  so). 

"I  could  not  do  otherwise." 

"  I  love  you  too  well  to  doubt  it."   . 

"  My  brother  hated  you  so.     It  would  have 


132 


THE  DODGE  CLUB  ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLLY. 


been  impossible.  And  I  could  not  wound  his 
feelings." 

"He's  a  splendid  fellow,  and  you  were  right." 

"Padre  Liguori  showed  him  what  you  were, 
and  I  tried  to  explain  a  little,"  added  Pepita, 
shyly. 

"  Heaven  bless  Padre  Liguori !  As  for  you 
— you — " 

"Don't." 

"Well,  your  brother  understands  me  at  last. 
He  knows  that  I  love  you  so  well  that  I  would 
die  for  you." 

Tears  came  into  Pepita's  eyes  as  the  sudden 
recollection  arose  of  Dick's  misadventure  on  the 
road. 

"Do  you  remember,"  asked  Dick,  softly,  aft 
er  about  three  hours  and  twenty  minutes — "  do 
you  remember  how  I  once  wished  that  I  was 
walking  with  you  on  a  road  that  would  go  on 
forever  ?" 

"Yes." 

"  Well,  we're  on  that  track  now." 

[The  Historian  of  these  adventures  feels  most  keenly 
his  utter  inadequacy  to  the  requirements  of  this  scene. 
Need  lie  say  that  the  above  description  is  a  complete 
fiasco  f  Reader,  your  imagination,  if  you  please.] 


CHAPTER  LVII. 

THE    DODGE    CLUB   IN   PARIS   ONCE   MORE. — BUT 
TONS' S  "JOLLY  GOOD  HEALTH." 

NOT  very  long  after  the  events  alluded  to  in 
the  last  chapter  a  brilliant  dinner  was  given  in 


Paris  at  the  "  Hotel  de  Lille  et  d'Albion."  On 
the  arrival  of  the  Senator  and  Buttons  at  Paris 
they  had  found  Mr.  Figgsand  the  Doctor  with 
out  any  trouble.  The  meeting  was  a  rapturous 
one.  The  Dodge  Club  was  again  an  entity, 
although  an  important  member  was  not  there. 
On  this  occasion  the  one  who  gave  the  dinner 
was  BUTTONS  ! 

All  the  delicacies  of  the  season.  In  fact,  a 
banquet.  Mr.  Figgs  shone  resplendently.  If 
a  factory  was  the  sphere  of  the  Senator,  a  supper- 
table  was  the  place  for  Mr.  Figgs.  The  others 
felt  that  they  had  never  before  known  fully  all 
the  depth  of  feeling,  of  fancy,  and  of  sentiment 
that  lurked  under  that  placid,  smooth,  and  rosy 
exterior.  The  Doctor  was  epigrammatic ;  the 
Senator  sententious  ;  Buttons  uproarious. 

Dick's  health  was  drunk  in  bumpers  with  all 
the  honors : 

"  For  he's  a  jolly  good  fe-e-e-e-e-e-llow ! 
For  he's  a  jolly  good  fe-e-e-e-e-e-llow  ! ! 
For  he's  a  jolly  good  FE-E-E-F.-E-E-LLOW  ! ! ! 
Which  nobody  can  deny!" 

All  this  time  Buttons  was  more  joyous,  more 
radiant,  and  altogether  more  extravagant  than 
usual.  The  others  asked  themselves,  "Why?" 
In  the  course  of  the  evening  it  became  known. 
Taking  advantage  of  a  short  pause  in  the  con 
versation  he  communicated  the  startling  fact 
that  he  had  that  day  received  a  letter  from  his 
father. 

"  Shall  I  read  it  ?" 

"AYE!  !  !"  unanimously,  in  tones  of  thun 
der. 


'HE'S  A  JOLLY  GOOD  FELLOW  1" 


THE  DODGE  CLUB ;  OR,  ITALY  IN  MDCCCLDL 


Buttons  opened  it  and  read  : 

"  DEAE  SON, — Your  esteemed  favor,  15th  ult.,  I  have 
recd. 

"I  beg  leave  hereby  to  express  my  concurrence  with 
your  design. 

"My  connection  with  the  house  of  Francia  has  been  of 
the  most  satisfactory  kind.  I  have  no  doubt  that  yours 
will  be  equally  so. 

"  I  inclose  you  draft  on  Mess.  Dupont  Geraud,  et  Cie  of 
Paris,  for  $5000— say  five  thousand  dollars— rec'  of  which 
please  acknowledge.  If  this  sum  is  insufficient  you  are  at 
liberty  to  draw  for  what  may  be  required. 

"  I  remain,  HIRAM  BUTTONS." 

Thunders  of  applause  arose  as  Buttons  folded 
the  letter.  : 


133 
the 


A  speech   from  the  Senator  proposed 
health  of  Buttons  Senior. 

Another  from  the  Doctor. 

Another  from  Mr.  Figgs. 

Acknowledgment  by  Buttons. 

Announcement  by  Buttons  of  immediate  de 
parture  for  Cadiz. 

Wild  cheers.     Buttons's  jolly  good  health  ! 

"  For  he's  a  jolly  good  fe-e-e-e-e-e-How ! 
For  he's  a  jolly  good  fe-e-e-e-e-e-llow  !  I 
For  he' s  a  jolly  good  FE-E-E-E-E-E-LLO\V  1 1 ! 
Which  nobody  can  deny!" 


THE     END. 


FRANKLIN  SQUARE,  NEW  YORK,  July  ut,  1869. 


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and  manners  of  the  rude  people ;  and  with  his  greatly-* 
increased  scientific  knowledge,  no  previous  African 
traveller  ever  engaged  in  the  task  he  undertook  with 
so  many  advantages. — Examiner. 

M.  Du  Chaillu  has  added  considerably,  and  in  very 


important   respects,  to   our  knowledge.  —  BIOHABD 
OWEN,  F.R.S. 

What  M.  Du  Chaillu  saw  and  suffered  in  his  first 
expedition  our  readers  know  already.  The  marvels 
of  the  gorilla  and  the  other  anthropoid  apes  were  set 
forth  in  a  remarkable  volume.  This  second  volume 
of  his  is  a  picturesque  and  interesting  story  well  told, 
and  adds  a  good  deal  to  our  knowledge  of  man  and 
nature  in  the  western  part  of  Equatorial  Africa. — 
Guardian. 


STORIES  OF  THE  GORILLA  COUNTRY.    Narrated  for  Young  People. 
By  PAUL  B.  Du  CHAILLU.     Profusely  Illustrated.     i2mo,  Cloth,  $i  75. 


The  stories  it  contains  are  full  of  the  kind  of  nov 
elty,  peril,  and  adventure  which  are  so  fascinating  for 
children.  *  *  *  It  is  a  capital  book  for  boys. — London 
Spectator. 

Exceedingly  interesting — as  much  so  as  even  "  Rob 
inson  Crusoe"  ever  was— not  only  to  young  people  on 
account  of  its  striking  novelty  and  charming  and  nat 
ural  style,  but  to  the  aged  and  learned  as  well. — New 
York  Herald. 


Too  strange,  as  well  as  too  life-like,  not  to  be  true. — 
Christian  Advocate. 

M.  Du  Chaillu  tells  his  stories  in  a  "once-upon-a- 
time"  way,  with  a  zest  which  is  quite  captivating.— 
Hartford  Press. 

These  stories  are  entertaining,  and  are  well  told, 
and  they  are  calculated  to  impart  much  knowledge 
of  natural  history  to  youthful  readers.— Boston  Trav 
eller. 


w 


ILD  LIFE  UNDER  THE  EQUATOR.     Narrated  for  Young  People. 
By  PAUL  B.  Du  CHAILLU.     With  numerous  Engravings.     i2mo,  Cloth, 


The  amount  of  enjoyment  that  was  afforded  to  the 
children  by  the  previous  work  of  this  author,  "Stories 
of  the  Gorilla  Country,"  is  beyond  computation,  and 
the  "innumerable  smiles"  that  will  overspread  their 
happy  faces  when  they  hear  M.  Dn  Chaillu.has  written 
another  book  for  their  reading  is  delightful  to  think 
of.  "Wild  Life  under  the  Equator,"  though  specially 
designed  for  children,  however,  is  adapted  to  maturer 
comprehensions,  and  we  have  read  every  word  of  it, 
from  title-page  to  colophon,  with  the  liveliest  interest 
and  satisfaction.  No  ingenious  youth  of  twelve  in  the 
land  will  find  it  more  "  awfully  jolly"  than  did  we. — 
Evening  Post. 


In  this  little  volume  he  leads  them  into  the  most 
savage  regions  of  Equatorial  Africa,  and  tells  them 
about  the  wild  beasts  and  wild  men  who  live  there — 
about  snakes,  leopards,  elephants,  hippopotami,  won 
derful  ants,  great  colonies  of  parrots,  and  many  other 
strange  and  curious  things.  The  book  is  illustrated 
with  many  spirited  wood-engravings,  and  is  well  cal 
culated  to  please  the  young  people,  to  whom  it  is  ad 
dressed. — N.  Y.  Times. 

M.  Du  Chaillu  is  not  only  a  mighty  hunter  in  the 
African  forests,  but  an  eloquent  narrator  of  his  own 
remarkable  exploits.  It  is  seldom  that  eye,  and  hand, 
and  tongue  possess  so  excellent  a  faculty  in  the  same 
person.—  New  York  Tribune. 


PUBLISHED  BY  HARPER  &  BROTHERS,  NEW  YORK. 


HABPER  &  BEOTIIEES  will  send  any  of  the  above  books  by  mail,  postage  prepaid,  to  any  part  of  the 
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CHARLES  LEXER'S  NOVELS. 


We  hardly  know  how  to  convey  an  adequate  notion  of  the  exuberant  whim  and 
drollery  by  which  this  writer  is  characterized.  His  works  are  a  perpetual  feast  of 
gayety. — JOHN  BULL. 

"  This  well-known  humorous  and  sparkling  writer,  whose  numerous  laughter-pro- 
roking  novels  have  so  often  convulsed  the  reader  by  their  drollery  and  rollicking  wit, 
seems  to  possess  an  endless  fund  of  entertainment" 


The  Bramleighs  of  Bishops  Fol 
ly.     SvOi  Paper,  50  cents. 

Sir  Brook  Fossbrooke.     &vo,  Pa 
per,  50  cents. 

Tony  Butler.    8vo,  Paper,  $  i  oo ; 

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One  of  Them.     %vo,  Paper,   75 
cents. 

A  Days  Ride.      A  Lifes  Ro 
mance.    8vo,  Paper,  50  cents. 

Gerald  Fitzgerald,  "  The  Cheva 
lier."    8v0,  Paper,  50  cents. 

The  Martins  of  Crd  Martin. 
8vo,  Paper,  $125. 

Barrington.    8  vo,  Paper,  7  5  cents. 


That  Boy  of  Norcotfs.  Illus 
trated.  8v0,  Paper,  25  cents. 

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The  Dodd  Family  A  broad.  8  vo, 
Paper,  $i  25. 

I 

Sir  Jasper  Carew,  Knt. :  His 
Life  and  Adventures.  With  some 
Account  of  his  Overreaehings  and 
Shortcomings,  now  first  given  to  the 
World  by  Himself.  &vo,  Paper,  75 
cents. 


Glencore  and  his  Fortunes. 
Paper,  50  cents. 


The  Daltons  ;  or,    The    Three 

Roads  in  Life.  8v0,  Paper,  $i  50. 

Roland  Cashel.     With  Illustra 

tions  by  PHIZ.  &vo,  Paper,  $i  25  ; 
Cloth,  $i  75. 


Published  by  HARPER  &  BROTHERS,  New  York. 

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part  of  the  United  States,  on  receipt  of  the  price. 


Annie  Thomas's  Novels. 

(MRS.  FENDER   CUDLIP.) 


Miss  THOMAS'S  writings  are  fresh  and  reasonably  vigorous.  Her  sketches  of  character  are 
clever  and  well  done.  Her  power  of  language  is  strong,  and  she  uses  it  clearly  and  definitely. — 
Chicago  Republican. 

Miss  THOMAS  will,  we  think,  rank  high  among  that  class  of  novelists  of  whom  Miss  EVANS 
(George  Eliot)  is  the  first. — London  Reader. 


CALLED    TO  ACCOUNT.     8vo,  Paper,  50  cents. 
DENIS  DONNE.      8vo,  Paper,  50  cents. 
ON  GUARD.      8vo,  Paper,  50  cents. 
PLAYED   OUT.      8vo,  Paper,  75  cents. 

PLAYING    FOR    HIGH  STAKES.      With    Illustrations. 
8vo,  Paper,  25   cents. 

THE  DOWER  HOUSE.     8vo,  Paper,  50  cents. 
THEO   LEIGH.      8vo,  Paper,  50  cents. 
WALTER   GORING.     8vo,  Paper,  75  cents. 


By  the  Author  of  "St.  Olave's. 


ST.  OLAVE'S.      A  Novel.      8vo,  Paper,  75  cents. 


This  charming  novel  is  the  work  of  one  who  possesses 
a  great  talent  for  writing,  as  well  as  some  experience  and 
knowledge  of  the  world.  "  St.  Olave's"  is  the  work  of 


an  artist.  The  whole  book  is  worth  reading,  and  the 
finale  is  brought  about  in  a  happy  and  unexpected  man 
ner. — London  A  thenceum. 


JEANIE'S  QUIET  LIFE.      8vo,  Paper,  50  cents. 


This  book  is  written  in  a  very  graceful  manner,  occa 
sionally  eloquent  and  pathetic.  The  book  has  a  vitality 
which  distinguishes  the  productions  of  but  few  of  our  con 
temporary  novelists.  The  author  has  shown  a  real  cre 


ative  power,  and  has  given  IB  some  perfectly  new  and 
original  characters. — Saturday  Review. 
A  thoroughly  interesting  story. — London  Star. 


META'S  FAITH.      8vo,  Paper.    (In  Press.) 


PUBLISHED  BY  HARPER  &  BROTHERS,  NEW  YORK. 


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BY  F.  W.  ROBINSON. 


FOR  HER  SAKE. 

A  Novel.     Illustrated.     8vo,  Paper,  75  cents. 


CARRY'S  CONFESSION. 

A  Novel.     8vo,  Paper,  75  cents. 

The  story  is  cleverly  told,  and  is  very  original.  It  can  scarcely  fail  to  be  read  with  thoughtful 
interest.  It  is  very  far  above  the  average  run  of  novels,  and  deserves  to  find  a  longer  life  than  is 
accorded  to  ephemeral  works  of  fiction. — Athenaeum. 


CHRISTIE'S  FAITH. 

A  Novel.     1 2 mo,  Cloth,  $i  75. 

The  interest  of  this  story  is  so  enthralling  that  it  holds  the  reader  enchained  during  its  progress, 
and  the  purpose  of  the  story  is  so  admirable  that  the  best  among  us  may  justly  consider  the  time 
well  bestowed  that  is  occupied  by  its  perusal. — London  Sun. 


MATTIE:  A  STRAY. 

A  Novel.     8vo,  Paper,  75  cents. 

An  admirable  novel.     It  is  a  picture  of  life  so  true  and  vivid  as  to  rivet  the  attention  from  first 
to  last. — London  Reader. 


NO  MAN'S  FRIEND. 

A  Novel.     8vo,  Paper,  75  cents. 

A  good  novel.  It  is  original ;  it  is  lively ;  it  is  interesting ;  its  real  merits  are  considerable. 
The  plottings  and  counter-plottings,  with  the  localities  in  which  they  occur,  and  the  varying  cir 
cumstances  attending  them,  make  up  the  general  interest.  All  this  part  is  bright,  interesting,  and 
original — the  originality  chiefly  consisting  in  the  undisguised  worldliness  attributed  to  all  the  parties 
concerned,  and  the  skill  with  which  these  materials  are  worked  up  into  an  agreeable  narrative. — 
Atlien&um. 


POOR  HUMANITY. 

A  Novel.     8vo,  Paper,  50  cents. 

A  novel  of  intense  interest. — New  York  Leader. 

There  is  a  reality  about  the  personations  which  is  one  of  the  best  evidences  of  real  talent/ 
New  York  Times. 


PUBLISHED  BY  HARPER  &  BROTHERS,  NEW  YORK. 


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NOVELS    BY  J.  S.  LE  FANU. 


No  writer  more  exactly  fulfills  the  odd  idiomatic  expression  of  "  carrying  the  reader  along 
with  him ;"  the  reader  is  "  carried  along  "  wherever  Mr.  LE  FANU  pleases,  by  the  strangest  and 
most  out-of-the-way  routes,  by  the  most  flowery  paths,  by  the  most  mysterious  underground  tun- 
nelings,  swiftly,  certainly,  and  willingly,  to  the  end. — London  Times. 

There  is  not  a  better  novel-writer  than  J.  SHERIDAN  LE  FANU. — Boston  Traveller. 


ALL  IN  THE  DARK.     8vo,  Paper,  50  cents. 

A   LOST  NAME.     8vo,  Paper,  50  cents. 

GUY  DEVERELL.     8vo,  Paper,  50  cents. 

THE   TENANTS  OF  MALORY.     8vo,  Paper,  50  cents. 

UNCLE  SILAS :    A   Tale  of  Bertram-Haugh.     8vo,  Paper, 
75  cents. 


EDMUND  YATES'S  NOVELS. 


His  novels  have  a  mint-mark  of  his  own,  deeply  impressed  and  unmistakable.  They  are 
Mr.  Edmund  Yates's  novels,  not  imitations  of  the  novels  of  successful  predecessors. — London 
Examiner. 


BLACK  SHEEP.     8vo,  Paper,  50  cents. 
KISSING    THE  ROD.     8vo,  Paper,  75  cents. 
LAND  AT  LAST.      8vo,  Paper,  50  cents. 
WRECKED  IN  PORT.     8vo,  Paper.     (In  Press.) 


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BY  AMELIA   B.  EDWARDS. 


Debenham's  Vow. 

A  Novel.      Illustrated.     8vo,  Paper.     (In  Press.) 

Barbara's  History. 

A  Novel.     8vo,  Paper,  75  cents. 

The  Ladder  of  Life  : 

A  Heart-History.     A  Novel.     8vo,  Paper,  50  cents. 

My  Brother's  Wife. 

A  Novel.     8vo,  Paper,  50  cents. 

Miss  Carew. 

A  Novel.     8vo,  Paper,  50  cents. 

Hand  and  Glove. 

•   A  Novel.     8vo,  Paper,  50  cents. 

Half  a  Million  of  Money. 

A  Novel.     8vo,  Paper,  75  cents. 


At  this  day,  when  so  many  indifferent  namby-pamby 
novels  are  thrnst  upon  the  public — novels  which  it  is 
a  wearisome  waste  of  time  to  read— we  are  quite  sure 
that  it  is  a  kindly  act  to  direct  our  readers'  attention 
to  such  beautifully-written,  and,  in  many  cases,  supe 
rior  works  of  fiction  as  are  these  by  Miss  Edwards.— 
New  York  Evening  Post. 

Miss  Edwards  has  won  an  enviable  reputation  as  a 
writer  of  fiction.  Her  novels  are  far  superior  to  the 
average  of  such  productions,  inasmuch  as  they  evince 
a  highly  cultivated  intellect,  a  wide  range  of  reading, 
and  an  apparently  thorough  knowledge  of  art.  Add 
to  these  a  graceful  and  sometimes  eloquent  style, 
sparkling  dialogue,  and  a  genuine  depth  of  feeling, 
and  we  have  some  important  essentials  of  a  good  nov 
elist.  The  peculiar  charm  of  her  books  to  us  consists 
in  the  beautiful  enthusiasm  with  which  she  describes 
music  and  musicians,  painting  and  painters,  the  dim 
interiors  of  ancient  cathedrals,  the  golden  gloom  that 
pervades  pillared  aisles,  the  poetry  and  loveliness  of 
the  castled  Rhine— all  objects  and  associations  that 
recall  historic  glories,  or  lighten  up  the  life  of  to-day 
with  the  mellow  hjies  of  old 'romance.— Brooklyn  Daily 
Times. 

Miss  Edwards's  stories  are  all  well  written. — Port 
land  Transcript. 

Her  stories  indicate  vigor  and  taste.— Chicago  Journal. 


Miss  Edwards  is  a  scholar  and  a  poet,  and  gives  us 
occasionally  poems  of  much  strength  and  sweetness. 
— Boston  Traveller. 

Miss  Edwards  possesses  many  of  the  finest  attributes 
which  distinguished  Charlotte  Bronte.— London  Morn 
ing  Post. 

Miss  Edwards's  novels  are  rapidly  taking  their  place 
among  the  books  which  every  body  reads  and  enjoys. 
— Boston  Post. 

Miss  Amelia  B.  Edwards,  whose  "Barbara's  His 
tory"  was  so  greatly  admired  by  all  who  were  so 
fortunate  as  to  read  it,  has  deservedly  taken  her  place 
among  the  best  living  novelists.— Boston  Transcript. 

Miss  Edwards's  works  of  fiction  are  of  a  high  order, 
and  represent,  both  in  the  subjects  chosen  and  the 
treatment  of  them,  a  deep  tendency  of  our  time— this, 
namely,  of  looking  within  and  not  abroad,  writing 
what  is  personal  and  domestic  rather  than  what  is 
conventional,  and,  in  short,  dealing  with  spirit  instead 
of  mere  custom  and  costume.  Miss  Edwards  always 
selects  domestic  subjects,  and  delineates  characters  as 
though  she  stood  at  their  centre,  and  not  on  the  out 
side  or  at  a  distance.  We  suspect  there  is  much  that 
is  autobiographical  in  her  books.  They  all  have  a 
charming  style  and  wholesome  tone,  and  betray  a  fine 
range  of  reading,  observation,  and  reflection.— Ckve- 
land  Leader. 


PUBLISHED  BY  HARPER  &  BROTHERS,  NEW  YORK. 


S3T"  HARPER  &  BROTHERS  will  send  any  of  the  above  works  by  mail,  postage  prepaid,  to  any  part  of  the  United 

States,  on  receipt  of  the  price. 


LOSSING'S   FIELD-BOOK 

OF  THE 

WAR  OF  i8iz. 


THE  PICTORIAL  FIELD-BOOK  OF  THE  WAR  OF  1812;   OR,  ILLUSTRATIONS, 

BY  PEN  AND  PENCIL,  OF  THE  HISTORY,  BIOGRAPHY,  SCENERY, 

RELICS,  AND  TRADITIONS  OF  THE  LAST  WAR 

FOR  AMERICAN  INDEPENDENCE. 

BY   BENSON   J.  LOSSING, 

AUTHOR  OF  "THE   PICTORIAL  FIELD-BOOK  OF  THE  REVOLUTION." 

With  Eight  Hundred  and  Eighty-two  Illustrations,  engraved  on  Wood  by  LOS- 
SING  &  BARRITT,  chiefly  from  Original  Sketches  by  the  Author. 

COMPLETE  IN  ONE  VOLUME,  1084  PAGES,  LARGE  8vo. 
Price,  in  Cloth,  $7  oo;  Sheep,  $8  50;  Full  Roan,  $9  oo  ;  HalfCalf  or  Half  Morocco  extra,  $10  oo. 

SOLD  BY  AGENTS. 


At  the  close  of  his  PICTORIAL  FIELD-BOOK  OF  THE  REVOLUTION,  Mr.  Lossing  said  :  "  Should 
time  deal  gently  with  us,  we  may  again  go  out  with  staff  and  scrip  together  upon  the  great  highway 
of  our  country's  progress,  to  note  the  march  of  events  there."  The  implied  promise  has  been  ful 
filled.  More  than  ten  thousand  miles  in  this  country  and  the  Canadas  the  author  has  travelled 
with  note-book  and  pencil  in  hand,  visiting  places  of  historic  interest  connected  with  the  War  of 
1812,  from  the  great  Lakes  to  the  Gulf  of  Mexico,  gathering  up,  recording,  and  delineating  every 
thing  of  special  value  not  found  in  books,  and  making  himself  familiar  with  the  battlefields  of  that 
war.  Access  to  the  archives  of  government,  state  and  national,  and  to  private  collections,  was 
freely  given  him  ;  and  from  the  lips  of  actors  in  the  events  of  that  struggle  he  received  the  most 
interesting  information  concerning  it,  which  might  have  perished  with  them. 

The  results  of  the  author's  researches  and  labors  are  given  in  one  imperial  octavo  volume  of  a 
thousand  pages,  containing  eight  hundred  and  eighty-two  engravings  in  the  style  of  the  FIELD- 
BOOK  OF  THE  REVOLUTION,  to  which  this  magnificent  work  is  an  indispensable  companion.  It 
takes  up  the  narrative  of  historic  events  where  the  former  work  leaves  it,  and  in  a  careful  manner 
gives  a  lively  account  of  the  perils  of  the  country  immediately  succeeding  the  Revolution  ;  the 
struggles  of  the  new  nation  with  the  allied  powers  of  the  British  and  Indians  in  the  Northwest  ; 
the  origin  and  growth  of  political  parties  in  the  United  States,  and  their  relations  to  the  War  of 
1812  ;  the  influence  of  the  French  Revolution  and  of  French  politics  in  giving  complexion  to 
parties  in  this  country  ;  the  first  war  of  the  Barbary  powers  ;  the  effects  of  the  wars  of  Napoleon 
on  the  public  policy  of  the  United  States  ;  the  Embargo  and  kindred  Acts,  and  the  kindling  of  the 
war  in  1812. 

The  events  of  the  war  are  given  in  greater  detail  than  in  any  work  ever  published  on  the  sub 
ject,  and  the  narrative  brings  to  view  actors  in  the  scenes  whose  deeds  have  not  been  hitherto 
•  recorded.  On  this  account  it  is  specially  interesting  to  many  of  the  older  families  of  the  country. 

The  illustrations  of  this  superb  work  are  similar  in  character  to  those  of  the  FIELD-  BOOK  OF 
THE  REVOLUTION.  The  construction  of  the  narrative  differs  from  that  only  in  having  historical 
events  arranged  in  chronological  order.  It  forms  a  continuation  of  the  history  of  our  country  from 
the  close  of  the  Revolution,  in  1783,  to  the  end  of  the  second  war  with  Great  Britain,  in  1815. 
Nothing  has  been  spared  by  the  author  and  publishers  in  their  endeavors  to  make  it  the  most 
perfect,  attractive,  and  useful  volume  on  the  subject  ever  offered  to  the  public. 


PUBLISHED  BY  HARPER  &  BROTHERS,  NEW  YORK. 


rOLUME  39. )     T  T  1\  /T  (  NEW  YORK, 

DUMBER  23i.         I  ARPER'S   M  AGAZINE.  ] 


rHE  Conductors  of  HARPER'S  MAGAZINE  have  made  arrangements  which  they  are 
confident  will  secure  for  the  Magazine  a  continuance  of  the  favor  which  it  has 
eretofore  received.  The  Novels  "A  Brave  Lady"  and  "My  Enemy's  Daughter"  will 
e  continued  for  several  months.  Mr.  M.  C.  CONWAY  will  furnish  sketches  of  English 
fe  and  character;  Mr.  EUGENE  LAWRENCE,  Rev.  JOHN  S.  C.  ABBOTT,  Mr.  BENSON  J. 
.OSSING,  and  othejrs,  will  furnish  historical  papers ;  Mr.  JACOB  ABBOTT,  Prof.  ELIAS 
,OOMIS,  and  others,"  will  contribute  articles  upon  popular  science.  Tales  and  Poems, 
y  old  and  new  contributors,  have  been  accepted.  Illustrated  articles  upon  travel  and 
dventure,  not  exceeded  in  value  and  interest  by  any  which  have  appeared  in  the  Mag- 
zine,  are  in  course  of  preparation  for  the  ensuing  Numbers.  The  Editor's  Chair, 
^ook  Table,  Record  of  Current  Events,  and  Draiver  will  be  continued  as  heretofore. 
.  The  Magazine  is  invariably  discontinued  at  the  close  of  the  period  of  subscription, 
ubscriptions  may  commence  with  any  number;  when  no  time  is  specified,  they  will  be 
atecl  from  the  first  Number  of  the  current  Volume,  and  back  Nurybers  will  be^sent  ac-' 
Drdingly. 

°  *  Published  Monthly ',  with  profuse  Illustrations. 


•QLUME)  TT  \\J  (For. 

HARPER'S  WEEKLY,      i  .S69. 

HARPER'S  WEEKLY  is  an  illustrated  record  of,  and  commentary  upon  the  events 
of  the  times.     It  will  treat  of  every  topic,  Political,  Historical,  Literary,  and  Scien- 
fic,  which  is  of  current  interest. 

Published  Weekly,  with  profuse  Illustrations. 


'OLUME1  T)  I       For 

HARPER'S  .DAZAR.       \  ,869. 

HARPER'S  BAZAR  is  a  Journal  for  the  Home.     It  is  especially  devoted  to  all 
subjects  pertaining  to  Domestic  and  Social  Life.     It  furnishes  the  latest  Fashions 
i  dress  and  ornament  ;  describes  in-door  and  out-door  Amusements  ;  contains  Stories, 
Assays,  and  Poems  —  every  thing,  in  brief,  calculated  to  make  an  American  Home  at- 


Published  Weekly,  with  profuse  Illustrations. 

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to  do  so. 
he  extent  and  character  of  the  circulation  of  HARPER'S  MAGAZINE,  WEEKLY,  and  BAZAR  render  them  advantageous  ve 

hicles  for  advertising.     A  limited  number  of  suitable  advertisements  will  be  inserted  at  the  following  rates  :  In  th 

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They  desire  the  best  articles  :  Stories^  Sketches  of  Character,  Adventure,  Essays,  Poems  —  in  brief,  every  thing  of  inter 

est  to  cultivated  American  readers. 


/ 

While  the  conductors  do  not  hold  tTremselves  responsible  &>rWU%fi^2V§fiD^i  sent  to  them,  they  will  endeavor  to  re 

will 


turn  those  which  for  any  iWHtfPIB|BitSl'tffilaB| Iff' rGAJLaamCMBfllillll^rpoae  are  enclosed ;  otherwise  they 
endeavor  to  keep  the  maiwscrrfTO,  suojectio  the  0l4erT9f,U^Jvu4fi!^,  f°r  a  short  time. 

They  especially  request  that  the  nan  Ji0ftd«iNGfi*t*BS  should  be  placed  at  the  head  of  every  manuscript. 
[ARPER'S  WEEKLY  and  BAZAR  will  be  suppfieoto  Periodical  Dealc  rs  at  Seven  Cents  each. 


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